CDC Cautions Against Taking The Red Pill

Via The Babylon Bee

ATLANTA, GA—The CDC has cautioned Americans against taking the red pill, as it can lead to severe side effects such as “realizing the truth about the way our society is manipulated by the elites” and “spending all your time on YouTube watching Jordan Peterson videos.”

According to the CDC, many are overdosing on red pills, which are a black market drug that has never been approved by the American government.

“We’ve seen a lot of people recommend taking the red pill,” said CDC Director Rochelle Walensky. “And we just have to remind everyone that the CDC is not approved by the FDA or any other governing body. It could spread ideas like that freedom is a good thing and that thinking for yourself is a healthy American value. People might start getting the wrong idea.”

Walensky said the red pill is contagious, and that just one person taking it could lead to more and more instances of people thinking outside the box of conventional opinion and questioning their leaders.

Meanwhile, the FDA is rushing out an emergency approval process on a new, stronger blue pill to counteract the red pill crisis.

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gatsby1219
gatsby1219

subwo
subwo

Thanks, this needs to be a stand alone post.

Abigail Adams
Abigail Adams

I love the Bee. Every time I see a title from them I just crack up.

Ginger
Ginger

This is my all time favorite, I’ve got it bookmarked so can see every morning and have a good laugh.

https://babylonbee.com/news/taliban-buys-hunter-biden-painting-for-presidential-palace

MrLiberty
MrLiberty

Took my first red pill when I watched a debate on PBS in LA featuring Libertarian Party candidates discussing the failed and immoral war on drugs. Got even more red-pilled with the party as a local party official and as a State Senate candidate. Once your mind is opened from the first red pill, the truth pours in like water over a falls.

Anonymous
Anonymous

If you had ever taken the red pill, you wouldn’t still be a libertarian.

MrLiberty
MrLiberty

Well it took a little while for the molecules to work fully. Now I’m a full blown anarchocapialist and will never go back to even one ounce of support for government’s existence.

'Reality' Doug
'Reality' Doug

JP works for (((them))). When red pill is really purple pill. I’m red/black pill, and you probably are not surprised. lol

A cruel accountant
A cruel accountant

Rollo Tomassi. The OG of the red pill.

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