FBI Admits It’s Really Hard To Solve Crime They Didn’t Make Up Themselves

Via The Babylon Bee

WASHINGTON, D.C.—According to sources, local investigators with the FBI are absolutely flummoxed by a difficult murder case, since it’s one of those rare crimes they didn’t make up and stage themselves.

“Yeah usually solving crimes is so easy, because we’re the ones that do them,” said Director Christopher Wray. “We stage the crime, then we commit the crime or entrap someone into committing it for us, and BOOM! Case closed. I love open and shut cases like that.”

“Unfortunately, in rare cases, you see crimes getting committed by someone who isn’t even in the FBI. That makes it tough because we don’t have their phone number and stuff. We have to track all that down. It’s really hard.”

With federal crimes not committed by the FBI on the rise, investigators are investing in detective stuff like long trenchcoats and magnifying glasses to help them solve those really difficult cases when they don’t already know who did it.

“We may even have to stop committing fake crimes so that we have resources for real ones,” said Wray. “I hope that day never comes. Sounds hard.”

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TN Patriot
TN Patriot

How much overtime did they expend last Saturday in the District of Corruption. The FIB probably had more undercover agents present than actual protesters.

Joe
Joe

+10000

Joe
Joe

+ 10000!

anon I
anon I

Now that’s funny. One of their best ever. Priceless.

MrLiberty

NO act of “domestic terrorism” committed in the US has been free of FBI provocation, coordination, funding, or orchestration.

Arnold
Arnold

Asked my fffbeeeye buddy once if he always had the black bag in the trunk of his car or if he had to check one out every time he did an illegal entry.

Red faced, veins bulging, and pissed off come nowhere near describing his reaction.

musket
musket

Great Britain had a saying during the First World War….especially around the time of the Battle of the Somme disaster:

Lions led by jackasses

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