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https://imgflip.com/gif/5sx3ih
I sharted you know, the thing.
I hope it’s someone’s job to make sure he sees every single one of these.
We have a new candidate for the title ” Shitstain”.
It’s a struggle every week to crown the winner of Friday Fail of the Week. There are so many utterly worthless human beings so deserving of the accolade I agonize for the better part of three minutes to settle on the ultimate loser. Then it takes another several minutes of my completely worthless time to jot it down. I mean I could be doing other things with my time like taking a nap. If I could drink while napping you wouldn’t be reading this now.
Candidates this week include:
– Woke idiots who presume to dictate what Halloween costumes we can wear. The very concept of cultural appropriation is laughable. If you dress like a lazy-assed border-crashing welfare-leech Mexican, it somehow conveys disrespect for the bastards? They tell me (dressed in Indian feather headdress and a poncho with blackened face ), “How dare you make a mockery of our cultures!” “My culture is not a costume!” And when I thoughtfully reply, “Fuck you,” they take even greater offense, shrieking, “You have no clue that you’re being deeply offensive to people of colour. When an ignorant white patriarch like you steals elements of a culture that you always repress, you’re dehumanizing them.” So, taking a different tack, I say, “Okay, let’s say I accept your point, then I’ll have to insist you stop using elements of white man’s culture like smart phones, computers, cars, planes . . .” Having been trumped, they start punching me, but, tonight, lying in traction in my hospital bed, I’ll smile knowing I won the argument.
– State Senate President Steve Sweeney spent multi millions to retain his seat in very blue (and very black) New Jersey. He was beaten by a truck driver, who threw his hat into the ring for the Republicans on a lark, investing all of $153 for flyers and donuts for campaign workers in his ostensibly losing cause. That’s like the Southwest Rochester t-ball squad whipping the Atlanta Braves. (I’d hated that stupid chop thing the fans do while chanting some Indian tune since the Blue Jays wiped them in ‘92, but now that it triggers leftists, I love it.) Of course, the Democrats “found” 12,000 more ballots after the count was completed, so poor old Edward Durr may have to continue earning a living as a truck driver after all, as opposed to sucking off the public teat ruining things for the middle class.
– Virginia Governor Terry McAuliffe is another huge loser of the week. Running in Virginia–where legions of woke, spoiled, condescending, irritating arsepipes who “work” for the federal government devising ways to make things even more miserable for the country–McAuliffe managed to wrestle defeat from the jaws of victory. His campaign essentially conveyed, “So you think you have a say in what your children learn in school? Piss off, you awful white racists!” “So your daughter got raped by a transman in the girls washroom? Arrest him for being a transphobe!” “So you think you can keep your job when a brown illegal from Nicaragua deserves it more than a white slave master? Go to hell.” “You don’t like rising prices and falling living standards? Stop bitching; no one cares what you think.” “You don’t want the vaccine? You’re a murderer!” In short, “You’re all useless, terrible people, so vote for me.” Who knew that was poor politics? Well, everyone but McAuliffe and his campaign team knew it, and they got a bit of what they deserved. Mounting their heads on pikes is the rest of what they deserve. Maybe, just maybe, this election represents a turning point and offers some hope that sanity may not be lost forever.
– As worthy as those idiots are, I have to choose the blowhards populating the useless COP conference in Scotland as Friday Failures of the Week. They seem to revel in their hypocrisy. They dare to lecture us on emitting CO2 while they expel as much getting to and from the summit as we expend in a lifetime. They dare to tell us to eat bugs while they chow down on steak and lobster. They dare to threaten us with more covid crackdowns while they ignore all their own edicts hobnobbing with each other in their fancy ballrooms and $200 million yachts (which prompts the question, ‘Where the hell is a suicide bomber when you really need one?’). And by the way, not only is CO2 not poison it is absolutely critical to all life on our planet. Hey, billionaire oligarch assholes, earth’s climate has always and will always change due to Mother Nature. You assert that humans are causing the climate to change so it’s incumbent upon you to prove it. You’ve utterly failed to do this. Every major prediction you’ve made has not come true. So stick your grasshoppers up your ass. I’m enjoying cooked dead animals as long as I live. Congrats, losers, you beat stiff competition to win Friday Fail of the Week.
Enjoy Friday Fail.
Gotta go with the hypocrites.
Self-righteous fools are always above our ignorance.
How many KW can get generate from each body burned? Asking for the future. Don’t worry, we’ll use scrubbers on the smoke stacks.
2.1 million pounds of carbon into the atmosphere.
They know all this AGW is horseshit.
It’s just the latest scam to scare the rubes into accepting socialism.
And how much of that carbon did all the plants use to make energy and oxygen??
All of it.
Yes let’s start this global warming carbon neutral show by outlawing all private jets.
“Private jet from Moscow” took off from Kazakhstan? Map fail.
I know it’s f.f. but I had to throw in 1 win.
The left’s worst nightmare.
She’s also an outspoken Christian.
BTW, they DESPISE her.
Christian! Outspoken CHRISTIAN!!! I want my upvote back.
downvote person DIAF please
This is an important observation. This a real person with a real weapon. It has tool marks. It has scrapes and dings. This is not someone who was handed a rifle for a photo op.
This is her rifle. There are many like it but that one is HERS.
Mine had a bottle opener like the one Chevy Chase had in Deal of the Century.
… or somebody’s.
Sounds like the bootcamp gun scene from FMJ.
Dang!!! Maybe there is hope for the Republican’s!!!
Ex-Marine? Bwahahabababa
I’ll take it though.
And a United States Marine, too … FTW …
Semper Fi, Ms. Sears …
We’re never going to win until we get serious. Gushing over leftist totems like “black” and “female” is just plain stupid. None of those things listed is a qualification for the job she was elected to do. Some of them, I would argue, are the opposite.
excellent rant!
Excellent! Thank you!
That was a huge wake up call for Democrats (Marxists). They now know they really need to up their election rigging game before next year.
Those 12000 “uncounted” votes…
They did the same thing in 2008 when they stole a Senate seat in Minnesota. That was what woke me up to the reality of American politics.
They ran a literal clown named Al Franken, who lost by about 700 votes. That was close enough that they were entitled to demand a recount. As the recount progressed, they kept finding “uncounted” packets of votes (one of them in a box in the trunk of a Dem poll worker’s car). They all seemed to favour Franken. The Republicans never challenged any of them.
In some districts the Dems declined to recount, opting to accept the original count. “No problem”, said the R’s.
So the gap gradually shrank, until the Dem votes passed the R count, and they immediately declared victory. “Congratulations!” said the losers.
What kind of bullshit recount is that? If you’re going to recount, you count ALL the votes. And if they “find” uncounted votes, they’d better be able to prove their provenance. The R’s totally threw that election.
That’s why I was completely unsurprised when they threw the 2020 election as well.
(NJ) State Senate President Steve Sweeney…..
Ed Durr, the truck driver, has reported that he spent more like $5,000 – $10,000 on his campaign. The $153 was only the first reported expense. BTW, this was his 3rd campaign, but the first for State Senator – and potentially the first win.
Sweeny reported expenditures of $490,000 on this campaign as of Oct 4. The multi-million dollar campaign was in 2017 when the NEA unsuccessfully spent over 4 milllion to oust him.
The recount is, at this time, still ongoing. The “found” 12,000 ballots physically exist – I’m avoiding calling them “real”, regardless of whether they end up being counted or not. Still one heck of an accomplishment.
Hey I recognize the song that it’s playing:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifs8crL5p4E&t=1s
Take back the initials LGB….now we just need a good replacement for T.
Keep it simple so even liberals can understand it.. I suggest – Time
“Twit”
How about an LGB montage of different places, referred to as the Let’s Go Brandon Tour? Not to be mixed up with his recent tour of doody.
Ahhh…a new use for an annoying acronym.
“Tard”
LET’S GO BRANDON TRIBE
No, leave it be. You don’t want to get into an acronym war with the crazies. They’re already ahead of you by TQIA+, and they can invent new sexual perversions faster than you can keep up with them.
Hilarious. Bob, you’re a killer.
They both leave teeth marks.
Having to choose between her and the hyena to get a blow job-I give up sex.
This cartoon triggers me, both because it communicates that women should be kitchen slaves and mothers when they could be doing something valuable like heading an equity department in the work force to drum out white men, and because both subjects are white. Everyone knows the typical family has at least one person of colour and one faggot. I need to get to my safe space right away!
At last. some adult supervision, where it is so desperately needed…
Its ok Bob. Don’t get your panties in a bunch. They are both men.
Is that you, Void?
Those who are not been inoculated against it seem to suffer the most severe apoplectic reactions to it.
Way to go. Just keep him away from Fauci.
Hey, boy, you can pick cotton for me. No wages, but room and board are free!
Poor suffering idiot. I watched a show where he bought two Ferraris because he liked both colors. People don’t like whining crybabies who will destroy team cohesion.
So he does not use Federal Reserve Notes (aka Dollars)?
Read the whole Babylon Bee article, it is hilarious.
Maybe more tats would help.
first
Better than Fauci did.
But did he get the picture?
Yes.
The “picture” is “girls throw like girls.”
Poorly.
My fastball pitching niece will burn the glove right off your hand
Wouldn’t you watch at least one baseball game and practice in the backyard one afternoon throwing at a tree or something? I wouldn’t expect a fastball, but try to try.
FF
second
One down; one to go.
I don’t care for him at all.
He at least shows us why were all fuked.
No one did.
That’s why The Swamp had to steal the 2020 election.
He wasn’t elected…
He was an aS S before he went senile.
He devolved into a senile ass
nah….I’m fine if he just dies
(glad to know the real one has already been executed)
In cell block 9
Western Sky loans is just the Native Americans getting back at stupid white people….like their casinos.
Hey, MrL, we don’t need no other races to screw white people; we’re doing it to ourselves. Or, rather, a small elite minority of whites is screwing the entire race. We need to root them out then toss them aside to rot in the sunshine.
Problem is most of the people taking out those loans are Native Americans who shot their wads at their casinos.
Depends on what the priest did to them, I guess. (I can say that because I’m Catholic.)
Probably did the same thing as the gay pedos
Rabbis do it to their yeshiva students, too … in fact one rabbi in NYC said that about 60% of all of the yeshiva students have been buggered by the rabbis there …
The big difference? Priests, etc. from the Catholic Church have to endure lawsuits and such …
Rabbis? First they try to intimidate the victim and his parents and make them STFU … and if that doesn’t work, before the victim and his family call the law on them — he leaves for israel … never to be prosecuted.
Parents let them. Let that sink in.
She has a tiny “Vacancy” sign flashing in each eye; no thought has ever lodged in her brain.
And he said this before he became senile.
Can you spell “Crazy Eyes”?!
Look vacant to me.
Looks like a jackass about to make a hard dive at a bunch of carrots…..
I was going to say, “What happens when evil is armed with tanks, gunships, and nukes?” but then I remembered twelfth-century goat herders beat those odds.
Everyone walks out a door or drives down the street sometimes.
Palestinians only had rocks.
Better odds with JHP, than with the shown FMJ.
The atomic snub nose revolver? (and all of the range vs bursting radius jokes that go along with it)
Fuggie trifecta…
Dang, that kid in the yellow shirt is one tough Hombre.
?
The hills are alive with the sound of gunfire.
…And the lamentations and clothes rending of libs.
https://www.okshooters.com/attachments/upload_2020-4-11_0-50-3-jpeg.159251/
If the constitution were legitimate, it would not keep catastrophically failing to achieve anything it claims, starting with the first Congress.
Not the Constitution’s fault. It’s the fault of politicians and bureaucrats for ignoring it and judges for failing to enforce it. Keep the Constitution; discard the corrupt functionaries and punish them severely so it won’t happen again.
Its the fault of the people who should have set an example back in 1789 with their first political executions.
Funny thing is Jefferson, the architect of the constitution, was the first to violate it with his Louisiana Purchase. Also funny is the that the federalist ideals were introduced to the colonists by the Iroquois.
WOW!
The Iroquois were familiar with Aristotle, Plato, The Rights Of Man, Magana Carta, and Treaty of King John?
Tell us more. This is new.
Could be, history is not what you think it is. Maps from the 1500’s show major cities in the areas that have been presented as just tribes of Indians. There once was a world-wide culture and those you list got it from an even earlier civilization. Perhaps the Iroquois already had it and did not need to know of that which you list.
https://www.thedailybeast.com/how-an-iroquois-chief-helped-write-the-us-constitution
So the these civilizations knew a better way but choose not to take it? I will concede that history as we have understood it does not always match up to our own personal views but what you are saying is that a superior society needed the founding fathers to put their own ideas into practice?
Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other.
John Adams
One of my favorites. Thanks!
Frendo, the Constitution is full on legitimate, else we Deplorables would be standing
in front of pock marked walls. The fact we aren’t means those who WILL be standing
in front of those pock marked walls are trying to figure out how to avoid their fate.
Sic Semper Tyrannus.
It’s coming.
I ask where are the Militia now?!?!?! They are nowhere to be found. And we need them so much.
Shit, that didn’t work.
I’m thinking we’re about due for another revolution. Here’s hoping men of this quality will step forward to seize the day.
There are hard men in every generation.
just saw a poll that 30% of the millenials are fags?
They were also considered traitors.
Only by King George III, a corrupt nasty piece of human garbage.
The Swamp of his time.
They were Masons.
They were the furthest thing from respecting the Scriptures.
To them, the Bible is nothing but furniture in their halls.
The Holy Parchment was written to protect THEM and THEIR Posterity.
We are under Contract through the Birth Certificate process.
“Contract makes the Law”.
We are under Statutes.
Examine every word in the Holy Parchment that is a proper Noun.
For the ignorant, that means the word is Capitalized.
A Proper Noun can have a completely different meaning than when the word means when it is written in lower case.
People worship a piece of Parchment that has nothing to do with them.
We are slaves Neo.
Thanks Karen.
That was beyond half assed.
I have always wondered, if you had the chance to talk to Thomas Jefferson’s kids,
(You know, the kids born to his Mulatto, part African Slave Mistress,)
What They Thought About Dad???
bet he fed them well.
Jackass.
Not a fail – carpenter drill team exhibition
Yes, ma’am, I understand this is the women’s washroom but the sign seemed so welcoming to men.
If the water doesn’t revive you, I assure you we have a hearse standing by.
If he survives, he’ll be about 3 inches shorter.
that dude’s dead.
Equipment operator should just bury him before the boss gets back from lunch.
That was the boss.
And he has the equipment to do it right there.
Republic Good
Empire Bad
Look at the picture upside down.
Okay, kids, just to reassure you, it’s been three days since our last fatality, so hold on and have fun!
wonder if Hub got his money worth?
Here’s where a suicide bomber could actually be constructive. (No, Mr. NSA spy, I’m not advocating violence; I’m joking. So piss off and try, for once, to stop actual threats to the nation.)
What’s sad is that many of these kids are so young that all they understand is that there are lots of pretty colors….that’s how they get them.
PUKE!
Out of the frame — a couple coiled rattle snakes between the keys and Kenny.
I’m worried about Doug. He seems unnaturally fond of that beer.
Now do a spin!
So, now, a complete lack of necessity is the mother of invention?
You have no idea.
Really, there is no need for a one-handed zipper for jackets, etc? I can think of plenty of 1-armed folks, folks with horrible arthritis, folks missing thumbs, etc. who might disagree.
That would never work for those of us who haven’t seen our belts in years.
No doubt the basketball “slaves” will want these installed on all the baskets to make things more fair for them.
Engineers are the true heroes. Yet so many aspiring engineers cant pass statics and diff EQ.
Don’t worry, they are dumbing down math because its RACISSSSSSSSS. So soon everyone will get a participation degree, and you will die in a bridge collapse.
More likely from famine.
We had a black MIT graduate who couldn’t do fractions.
I’ll bet you couldn’t short change him on his paycheck though.
Statics was a breeze, differential & integral calculus were doable, but that rotational dynamics was a bitch
While both of those subjects are important, I would argue that a lack of appreciation of dynamics causes more structure failures than the lack of a structure’s ability to support itself (statics).
I see a political application for this.
What’s that smell?
I bet that could cut through bullshit like a hot knife through butter.
Not to mention it cauterizes a stab wound as you inflict it….
Would’ve been disgusting if she were ugly.
She should have spit the jizz out BEFORE she took a swig.
Loving the single canyon yodeler downvote.
LOLOLLL!
downvote must be a lesbian.
been there….done that
trucker passing us on the highway honked.
I think truckers get to see all kinds of things
Flunked physics
That reminds me of you Bernice, when you used to give extraordinary head when we were married.
The result was much the same.
So she doesn’t swallow.
WAAAAATT??? I do not know how a person could tip over a hoe on flat ground. A certain kinda special maybe??
Skills
One of the few things I desire that I don’t really need.
No comarands on my lake, don’t know why?
went on a charter in key west a few years ago. The guide referred to them as nigger ducks. The guide, not me of course.
Sort of how I refer to those gangs of loud crows around here.
I know a girl like that.
Once again the Lions managed to shut out the Christians today in Roman football. Here’s the star digesting his meal while celebrating after the game.
Seems to me anything that smashes a reporter in the face is cause for celebration.
Please tell me he was a ESPN Reporter?
f.f. sets the level straight.
Real Brandon fans.
Let’s go, Brandon!
Also works well as a college prank to create a mess.
Notice; Product is banned in San Fransico.
The White House steps?
Looks looks like Biden had more that one accident. Oh well, they can always follow the trail to see where he wandered off to.
was Biden there?
Waddaya mean banned?? Judging by the picture, it’s San Francisco’s main product!!
Why?
If it requires a clean rim, the utility of it is limited….
From tenor to alto.
Rooster to a hen
After the mishap, Pavarotti will henceforth sing as a soprano.
One for Joe…
One for the Doc…
One for fujigm…
and one for nkit…
I remember when the Cousin’s wife went out bow-hunting at
7 or 8 months pregnant, and if I remember correctly, dressed
and carried the deer home herself.
(and she was not an overly big girl.)
Gotta love redheads!
Amen brother, Amen.
Not using the peep-sight, oh well.
Can you spell 23 years of Child Support Payments???
STD’s anyone???
Why does nkit get the babe? All he does is make an invaluable contribution to FF, whereas I really like tits. I think my case is stronger.
…and one for Bob.
Thanks, Mix!
👍
nkit got the lion’s share of the deal.