Rittenhouse Verdict Raises Concerns That It’s No Longer Safe To Beat People To Death With A Skateboard

Via The Babylon Bee

U.S.—As Americans deal with the aftermath of the Rittenhouse verdict, many are being forced to come to terms with the fact that it’s no longer safe to beat people to death with a skateboard in America.

“I’m devastated. I’m terrified. I don’t even recognize my own country anymore,” said local concerned citizen Gail Piddlesnoot. “How have we gotten to the point in our nation where people can no longer beat someone with a skateboard, or kick someone in the face, or threaten to kill them without risk of being shot? It’s just horrible.”

The American Society of Communist Skateboard Murderers (ASCSM) reports that more and more of their members are dropping out, no longer confident that they can go out at night, burn down cities, and bash in people’s skulls with skateboards unmolested.

“This sets a dangerous precedent,” said Piddlesnoot. “It could be that in a very short time, we will no longer see gangs of marauding skateboard-murdering arsonists roaming our streets at night, and that’s a very sad thought.”

Experts are recommending that in the near future, for everyone’s safety, people who own skateboards just ride them for fun instead of beating people with them.

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8 Comments
MrLiberty
MrLiberty
November 22, 2021 3:35 pm

A guilty verdict would have meant only one thing. If someone found themselves being set upon by a violent mob of “peaceful protesters,” they should shoot to kill every last one that they can as their fate would be sealed no matter what. Truthfully, the not guilty verdict, in addition to being the only common sense verdict that any sane and conscious person could possibly arrive at, likely has made things far safer for the riff raff bottom-feeding scum that come out to “peacefully” protest on behalf of the numerous drug addicts, multiple felons, child rapists, wife beaters, murderers, and other saints that die at the hands of police.

diverdown
diverdown
  MrLiberty
November 22, 2021 4:27 pm

You make an extremely cogent point, Mr. L. I seriously doubt that the
majority of libtards have the mental capacity to fully grasp and
understand that the presence of police and a functioning justice system
actually helps protect the riff-raff that you so eloquently
detail above.

In their absence, Justice would be meted out quickly and terribly, as
there would be only one penalty: Death,
regardless of the nature or type ofcrime.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  MrLiberty
November 23, 2021 1:18 pm

I like the idea…since your fate is sealed for defending yourself…..use the depopulation principal of sending as many as you can to hell so that they can’t breed and like-minded “peaceful” protesters will choose to mow their lawns on “peaceful” protest days…

Iska Waran
Iska Waran
November 22, 2021 4:52 pm

It’s funny – some of the skateboards I saw being carried during the Minneapolis riots last year didn’t even have wheels. How can you do any skateboarding without wheels?

suds
suds
November 22, 2021 5:20 pm

comment image

KaD
KaD
November 22, 2021 10:19 pm

Kyle’s friend Dominick Black is still on trial in Kenosha

Binger hasn’t dropped the charges

Binger is still going after Kyle’s friend Dominick Black

Here is Dominick’s GiveSendGo
https://givesendgo.com/Dominickblack

MrLiberty
MrLiberty
  KaD
November 22, 2021 11:59 pm

Couldn’t tell from the link, but what exactly are the charges? Sounds like the desperation of a DA that needs to be taken out to the nearest lamppost.

Perry
Perry
  MrLiberty
November 23, 2021 12:20 am

Supposedly Black’s trial was scheduled prior to Kyle’s, but binger needed witnesses so he may have made some kind of deal with Black in return for Black’s testimony for the prosecution, though apparently the deal did not result in charges being dropped against Black. It looked like a case where the possible roster of witnesses for binger was so damning that his choices were somewhere between “bad” and “worse”.