NEW YORK, NY—Beloved New York Mayor Bill de Blasio has announced his latest plan to boost the economy and population of Florida by getting everyone to leave his city and move there.
“Let’s face it—winter is coming and Omicron is here, and we also have too many people in this city, so we have to empty it out,” said the Mayor in a video posted to Facebook. “That is why I am announcing a citywide vaccine mandate. With your help, we can help launch the economies of states like Florida and Texas into the stratosphere!”
New Yorkers all responded with a string of vile obscenities as they packed their U-Hauls and left the state forever.
“This #$@%$&% scumbag is a *%^#$& %@$, said one local deli owner of de Blasio’s new mandate. “I hope he $@@%@ **$#!@ %$@# in %*#%^ *&^!.”
De Blasio’s mandate is receiving high praise, however, from New York’s wealthy elites, who believe they have the right to know that all their servants, cab drivers, and prostitutes are fully vaccinated. Upon hearing of the mandate, they all erupted in a polite round of applause by clinking their silver cutlery against their champagne glasses.
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis thanked de Blasio for the economic boost and welcomed the new taxpayers to his state.
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Just think – they elected him TWICE.
gluttons for punishment. Just like with butt surfer Barry
Probably by the same “they” who (s)elected Biden.
Here come the carpetbaggers
Yup unfortunately they will bring their bad ideas of govt with them, I am sure it is not all of them but way too many are ignorant.
Too right, Ken.
I’m a 5th generation native Floridian (great-great-grandparents came
herein 1843) and I will tell you quite frankly we do not want them here.
While many may be ‘credentialed‘ they are nevertheless usually
stupid to the point of retardation, which is why they have fucked up
their own nest so badly that they have had to flee elsewhere. And
wherever they go they bring the same lame-brained thinking so they
end up fouling the nests of others.
The only fortunate aspect is that they all congregate in the same place
(Miami, Ft. Lauderdale, Broward & Dade Counties) so that, if the split
comes, we can draw the line along I-4 through Orlando and cast them off.
Look what the Californicators did to once solidly conservative Colorado. All you have to do is look at Gov. Polesmoker to understand what is coming your way when this invaders come for your state government.
He was probably told to do as many regulations as you can, or we might off you. He is just doing the bidding of the New World Order.
He’s lived up to his name…Deblowme !
Tiny Hat Club member…..again.
Actually I doubt seriously DeSantis – and certainly NOT the general populace – will welcome the damnyankee invaders. Understand wanting to leave, but we dont want yall in the South. Or the West.
Amen. Stay the hell away from Florida (or Texas for that matter). You made your commie bed, now lie in it.
The problem is they are not all going to Florida. Too many are stopping and staying in Georgia.
I keep thinking about the premise of the movie Escape from New York. We need walls and guards and machine guns and helicopters. All to keep New Yorkers in New York.
“Warren Wilhelm, I thought you were dead.” (DiBlazios real name).
Suggested Babylon Bee headline: Mayor DiBlazio sets off new hobby craze in NYC – constructing gallows.
Three more days of DeBoobio. Buh Bye douche.