Open Letter From President Zelenskyy To My American Comrades

Blessings and peace be upon you in the name of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.  You may wonder how I can say this as a Jew. Well, I place my faith in the fact that Jesus was a Jewish carpenter. I also believe in his words when he saith, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a Russian to enter Ukraine“.  Let him who has ears, hear.  They who rightly divide the word of God shall calculate that Vladimir Putin is the antichrist. Hallelujah. He is also a racist, white supremacist, homophobe, misogynist, Nazi, Commie, and thug. He is the father of Deplorables.

Biden pledges U.S. backing of Ukraine's sovereignty in phone call with Zelensky - MarketWatch

Although we are buffeted on all sides by Satan (Putin) we rejoice for we know the Lord grants victory to the Righteous (Ukrainians).  In the beginning, the Lord said to Father Abrahamovitch that we are His Chosen and the land of Kviv will be ours forever and ever.  Yea, he has made us a warrior people.  That’s a picture of me on the left. Does it not strike FEAR in you?  Of course it does.  (I think I look dashing in that Israeli made Level IIIa helmet. I never leave home without it.)

Anyway, the strength of any nation is in its people.  I just yesterday got by DNA results from 23 & Me, and this is what they found; 30% Mongol, 25% Viking, 20% Roman soldier, 15% T-Rex, 5% Comanche, 4% Sikh, and 1% Polish. We Ukrainians are the new superhumans. Now you can see that your MSM is 100% correct — we have punished with great harm and loss the demonic hordes from Gog & Magog.  Victory is just a week or so away. Although,  I must admit sometimes I am afraid the Polish blood in us is gonna totally f*ck things up for us in the long run.

Linda Thomas-Greenfield, Biden's pick for U.N. ambassador, calls 2019 China speech 'a huge mistake.' - The New York Times

Before I get to the real reason for writing to you, my beloved, let me first say how much I appreciate the verbal beat-down your Ambassador to the United Nations, Linda Greenfield, is giving Vlad The Impaler. Such intelligence! Are all American women this beautiful?

In the spirit of full disclose I must admit to you that Ukraine is not a perfect country.  We have two main shortcomings.  First, we have throughout the modern era constantly asked, and then demanded, Free Stuff from the world’s nations. Second, we never take responsibility for anything.  Our self-inflicted wounds are always someone else’s fault. What I am saying is that I identify with this woman of color, and I love her.

You won’t believe this but I actually met her a long time ago.  I was in NYC (doing a gig at the Improv) and she was outside running a hot dog cart. And now she represents your country to the world! America, what a country!  Only in America can a wrestler and a body builder become governors, a transvestite run the military, a prostitute become vice president, and a reality star become president.  God’s Grace is using America to create inclusion, diversity, and heaven on earth.

Side Note:  Watching CNN has been such a blessing to me!  Specifically, my heart melts with gratitude when I see in your cities, great and small, the thousands of Americans rallying for my countrymen. It seems there are millions of Ukrainians in America.  But permit me, just this one time, to pick a bone with you.  Where is our voice on the Supreme Court??  Does it not state in your Constitution that the Supreme Court “must look like America“?  I do understand your president is looking for a black woman.  Well, I bring you tidings of great joy … we have one of those in the village of Yerkhanov, and she told me she’s willing to give up her Kielbassi cart business to serve you.

………..

Sorry for the distraction.  I now wish to report to you the truth regarding our casualties. The 300+ reported dead are indeed dead …. but, they all had Covid, were fat, and unvaxxed.  Just sayin’.  Not that I mind the error,  because dead civilians, especially old people, women, and children, are simply invaluable in generating hate … and donations.  My public relations people tell me we get about a million dollars within hours of broadcasting another dead baby story.

Bottom line is that we have suffered only two casualties at the hands of the Russians. Again, we are damn near invincible. The casualty was  a poor, destitute, beautiful, innocent young Ukrainian lady, with her entire future in front of her, and she was pregnant with child, when a Russian soldier sliced her open and threw the baby in a boiling pot of Borscht. We are trying to raise money for a proper funeral, so please donate whatever you can, as soon as you can.  We only need $25 million dollars.

Ghost Of Kyiv meme | Ghost of Kyiv | Know Your Meme

On the other hand, we Ukrainians have killed 13,271 Russians, blew up 745 tanks, downed 18 Sukoi fighters, and wiped out an entire squadron of attack helicopters. One 12 year old girl destroyed a heavy cannon with her homemade Molotov cocktail. An 83 year old grandmother is shoving poison-laced daisies up the asses of every Russkie soldier she sees. And even dogs are joining our Resistance.

Do not concern yourselves with the maps showing which areas of Ukraine are controlled by Russia.  All those places are in flyover country and we don’t give a crap about them.

Do not concern yourselves with Putin’s threat to use nuclear bombs. Should they start falling from the sky, we will simply look up, shake our fists and cry out, “Fuck you, Russian A-Bombs!!” …. just before we escape our earthly bodies to be with the Lord.

I want to give a quick shout out to the German people.  Yesterday Germany declared that it will increase it’s military budget from $40 Billion to a whopping $120 Billion.  Praise be to Almighty God.  History has shown that only good things happen when Germany is the dominate power in Europe.

Hints for a Smooth Stay in Kiev, Ukraine - Europe Up Close

Picture of Kiev taken yesterday. As you can see, the destruction is akin to that of Dresden in WWII. This is a mostly violent war.

———– .

Before I get to the real reason for writing to you, my beloved, permit me to offer just a few possible Action Items to help us out;

—-1)  Please start referring to Russian Dressing as Freedom Dressing

—-2)  Putin has a checking account at Hoboken Credit Union.  Please burn them down.

—-3)  There are some in America, such as on theburningplatform.com who refer to me as an “Ass-klown Dictator”.  Please prosecute this is a hate crime.  All I know is that Justin Trudeau would have already had this guy stripped naked and given 40 lashes.

—-4)  Please consider buying one of our bumper stickers. They are only $50 each.  Proceeds go to The Big Guy Foundation.  Choices are; “Ukrainian Borders Matter“,  “We are all Ukies“, “Ukies Love Hunter“, and “Putin sucks DDD“.

—-5)  Please send us all your empty gallon milk containers so that our children can continue making Molotov cocktails without interruption.

———- .

Brother Biden!  I briefly digress to exhort you concerning your State Of The Union address tonight.  First, I think your title “A thousand more promises I can’t possibly keep” needs a little more positivity. Look, let us speak truth to one another, as iron sharpens iron; you’re facing a lot of problems in America right now, and half the people think you’re friggin meshiginah in the head.  Do you know the solutions are right in front of you?

Inflation problems? “It’s the Russian Invasion!”  High gas prices? “It’s the Russian Invasion!”    Covid pandemic?  “It’s the Russian Invasion!”   Supply chain problems? “It’s the Russian Invasion!”   Crime everywhere? “It’s the Russian Invasion!”    Empty shelves?  “It’s the Russian Invasion!”  No avocados?  “It’s the Russian Invasion!”   Yea,  it’s that easy. Oh, by the way, regarding that Russian invasion? TRUMP’S fault!!!  You are the luckiest s.o.b. on the planet.

A couple other tweaks.  I would expect that you call Putin a “thug” at least six times.  You might want to compare him to Hitler. Paint the conflict as Pure Good vs Pure Evil.  Tell the people you are either for Ukraine, or against Ukraine … and threaten sanctions against the latter. A memorable closing is always a plus. May I suggest, “Russia hates us for our freedoms!“?

———– .

Finally, let me state my main purpose for writing.  I have already taken up too much of your time so, let me be bold and brief:  $$$ ME AND MY COUNTRY NEED MONEY. $$$

Lest I appear ungrateful, let me profusely thank you for the one billion dollars you sent just in the past year.

But, pardon my boldness,  the United States government spends  $17.3 BILLION PER DAY    !!!  So, that billion we get from you  is not even one hour’s worth of spending!  You are doing the Lord’s work in Ukraine!  How would He feel with your niggardly contribution?

The Lord came to me in a dream last night and said, “For 3 days I suffered in hell for your sins, and on the 3rd I was raised, so beseech Caesar Biden for 3 days wages.“. So, there you have it …. God says you must give us $51.9 Billion dollars.  Praise the Lord, it shall be returned to you 100 fold, pressed down and shaken together.  If it helps speed things along just send us the printing press, $100 plates, paper and ink,  and we’ll handle it from there.

Of course, you are going to have to sell this. That ought to be quite easy.  The United States hasn’t been this united since the day after 9/11.   Trump = Sanders = Republicans = Pelosi = Fox News = Pelosi = Democrats = The Squad = CPAC = every Tom, Dick and Harry in America singing from the same song sheet.

Still, just to be safe,  you must evoke sympathy and deep sadness. As always,  bring in the children and brave soldiers.  As such, I am forwarding to you a copy of the  Save Ukie Christian Kids And Saintly Soldiers act.  Or, the SUCK ASS act, for short. Since American citizens have been taking it up the ass for decades now, this should easily pass 535-0.  Be sure to offer an “I SUCK ASS” bumper stick for a low low price of$100.

Finally, in closing, let me thank the AMERICAN PEOPLE for their willingness to sacrifice.  When gas hits $8 /gal this summer, when a Big Mac & Coke costs $15,  when you start to doubt if supporting sucking ass was a good idea, just remember this YOU SAVED DEMOCRACY because if Ukraine falls, every democracy on earth will also fall.   I award you the HERO OF URAINE Award!!

=======================================

BRIEF RESPONSE FROM GENERAL “BIG NICK” STUCKY (U.S.A.F., Ret.)

Dear Assklown Dictator,

First and foremost,  you should be grateful that the majority of Americans forget political events more than a week old. You should fall on your knees and kiss the collective asses of every Mainstream Media person, every politician, and everyone of the social media platforms for;  1) not mentioning that Ukraine had a democratically elected government that was overthrown by your own Nazi’s and with the help of the CIA, and 2)  that YOU have MURDERED 16,000+ of your own citizens.

I predict you will have an “OH CRAP!!” moment when you hear Biden’s  speech tonight. More empty words and promises. You hooked up with evil and now you will wonder “What the hell was I thinking??!

Russia will not be stopped, no matter what lies you tell yourself.

No one is coming to save you.  Europe won’t save you.  America won’t save you.  Hiding won’t save you.  You fate is sealed.

YOU could have prevented ALL of this; 1) Don’t join NATO. 2) Don’t pursue acquiring weapons that threaten Russia.  How hard is that?  Was it worth it?  You’ll have an eternity in hell to think about it.

Lastly, a word from the Lord. Daniel Chapter 5, verse 25.

Menemenetekelupharsin 

In plain English …

YOU’RE F***D SIX WAYS TO SUNDAY

.

.

THE END

Click to visit the TBP Store for Great TBP Merchandise

Author: Stucky

I'm right, you're wrong. Deal with it.

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RayK
RayK

Started with Zelenskeyy saying ‘NYET’ and the rest was provided by the ‘Stucky Filter’. Good translation!

pyrrhuis
pyrrhuis

Stucky is on fire…

another Doug
another Doug

You know where you’re headed stucky………… Siberian gulag. Just after Ukraine takes over mother Russia.

pyrrhuis
pyrrhuis

But do they require the Jab in the gulag? That would be a deal killer…

August
August

We’re all Ukrainians now!

Therefore, be it known that if the above slogan hasn’t already been copyrighted by CNN, the Heritage Foundation or Kurt Schlicter, I hereby assert first dibs.

Anonymous
Anonymous

Is this whole Ukraine thing just an overly elaborate psy-op to get Americans to start spelling Kiev as Kyiv and pronouncing it as “keeve”?

At this point, that’s a semi-serious question.

Mike_C
Mike_C

Neurolinguistic programming at work.
Just like when the virtuous people suddenly started saying “Neeka RAH hwa” and “COO ba”.

If a person is now calling it “keev” he’s an ass unless he also says “pah REE” instead of “PARE is”. (That would make him a pretentious ass.)

Anonymous
Anonymous

At least we didn’t lose the war with AvGHONistahn

teo toon
teo toon

It is a signal that there is some Vindman writing the CIA/media propaganda.

Trapped in Portlandia
Trapped in Portlandia

Stucky, if we were in Canada, your accounts would already be frozen.

Iska Waran
Iska Waran

All of Russia’s 8 demands in December were eminently reasonable. Zelensky pulled a Flounder:

August
August

American Foreign Policy for the new century:
it may suck, but it’s gotta work better than the truth.

SeeBee
SeeBee

“Finally, in closing, let me thank the AMERICAN PEOPLE for their willingness to sacrifice. When gas hits $8 /gal this summer, when a Big Mac & Coke costs $15……….”

Should I hold off buying a car? How about a hybrid?

(btw, Stucky, awesome sardonically, editorial prose.)

Anonymous
Anonymous

When gas hits $8 /gal this summer, when a Big Mac & Coke costs $15

This summer? Canada nearly has that already. Just saw $2.01 (cad)/litre for gas when I was in Victoria. Burger, fries and a root beer, $14+. That was over a week ago, so probably 10% more by now.

very old white guy
very old white guy

At $2.00 a liter you are over 8 bucks a gallon.

Anonymous
Anonymous

Our gallon 4.54l

US gallon 3.8l

So yes, in Imperial gallons.

But our loonie is worth much less than the US dollar.

Still crazy inflation.

flash
flash

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m
m

Here in Europe -assuming the top right pic of the cartoon is USD per US Gallon-,
we’re almost there already (~8.60)

NC Rob
NC Rob

Better off buying a horse. Electricity prices will also explode. Worst case scenario you can’t eat your car.

Mary Christine

Horse and buggy but you have to feed the horse.

Administrator

The wisdom of Kneepads Harris

JGS

This is why homeschooling is so important.

micky
micky

Consider the IQ of the demographic she was speaking to…..and this went over their heads. Hell, they are throwing poo, literally, on new york subways now.

We are doomed……

AK John

Admin. Check out this article. Best I have seen this year. How the KGB propagated the Global warming myth. https://www.americanthinker.com/articles/2022/03/the_strategic_threat_from_netzero_emissions_.html

m
m

An excellent showpiece for ‘complete insanity’, thanks.

If you want to know what Putin really thinks of Globull Warming, read his Valdai speech http://en.kremlin.ru/events/president/news/66975 (as kremlin.ru is still under DDOS attacks, find the speech from October 2021 somewhere else for now)
identify the Easter Egg in it, and have a good belly laugh at it.

flash
flash

eeeeeeeee…

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Doohickey
Doohickey

Looks like the neck needs some botox refills or the plastic surgeon forgot to finish the job from the chin down. No wonder she’s so damn angry all the time. When a former beauty queen turns ugly and can’t rely on her looks to get what she wants, watch out. Even her own staff can’t stand her. There was a day when she was able to climb the political ladder on her back. Those days are now gone. They say Putin is unhinged. Ha. This weathered hag makes Putin look like the Rock of Gibraltar.

PainesBannedGhost
PainesBannedGhost

Hey, she’s grooving on her butterfly!

August
August

Presidential timber, man. Presidential timber.

PainesBannedGhost
PainesBannedGhost

That woman is wearing and enjoying a butterfly personal massage device.

another Doug
another Doug

IQ about 47.

Lee Harvey Griswald
Lee Harvey Griswald

I’m sure she used to have intelligent DNA in her body. Unfortunately she spit it out.

another Doug
another Doug

Now we need an interpretation of WHO helping to tell us how to manage our Next pandemic. Go Stucky

Oldtoad of Green Acres
Oldtoad of Green Acres

Viktor, viewed that video of yours on YouBoob.
Love those heels! That leather looks so tight.
Or more importantly,
Putin has moved his family into an underground city to survive a nukular (bushism) attack.
Clueless Joe says, “No Problem.”
Any concern here yet?
Too old to kiss my ass goodbye when the flash hits, just gonna nurse a bottle of Russian vodka.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C5eXWeoe1Ko

flash
flash

ha ha ha …= + 1000 …. GCP just struck your name from the book of Rapture Ready.

flash
flash

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Rusty Shackleford
Rusty Shackleford

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! That is so good.

JimN
JimN

Hey Stuck,

Wow! I’m stunned. And here I thought all you could do was bitch about things. Maybe Ol’ White Joe (credit Kunstler) could hire you to write some humor into his senseless shit.

BL
BL

If you want to write about a big joke, “Sick Ticket” Zelenskyy is the place to start. The whole thing is a joke.

Unfortunately, I read today that Anonymous sent word to the Russian people to clean their bank accounts out by 3/3 or their money would be given to the Ukrainians, CIA doesn’t even try to hide they are evil anymore. Seriously, this is the worst BS I have ever seen. They are going after Putin tooth and nail.

flash
flash

Russians are the Germans now…sux to be them.

Ken31
Ken31

Yea. Remember the Germans were the most popular among the common people while anti-war sentiment was prevalent, but as soon as Pearl Harbor was orchestrated, all of that got erased and Nazi were the new Satan as Christianity was systematically stomped out.

Lee Harvey Griswald
Lee Harvey Griswald
m
m

Yes and no.
They can pull it off, as they have all the resources and military they need.

Mary Christine

I could be wrong but it looks to me like they are going for regime change in Russia. If Russia backed into a corner and goes for the nukes I just hope they do an EMP. It would make sense to save infrastructure. I’m just sayin.

BL
BL

MC- I think we are going to go grid down and they will blame Putin and the Russians for all of it. I wouldn’t want to be in the cities at that point.

I think they are going to strip the Russians of their money, Putin may lose his fortune along with the oligarchs.

hardscrabble farmer
hardscrabble farmer

Sounds like a great opportunity to take everything from everybody. Kind of speed up the you’ll own nothing and be happy future they promised.

Blame it on the Russians.

Viola! Mission accomplished.

BL
BL

HF-And as old Paul Harvey would say, “And that’s the rest of the story”.

I think the plot is correct, I would not rule out that Putin is just the main actor, but as Hitlery says, “At this point, what difference does it make”? Got beans and rice?

Anonymous
Anonymous

And off grid power?

Anyone relying on the infrastructure at this point is taking a big chance.

Mary Christine

BL, HSF, did either of you see this on Zerohedge? Is Escobar blinded somehow or could he be right? Things just get more confusing every day.

https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/escobar-follow-money-how-russia-will-bypass-western-economic-warfare

BL
BL

MC- I think this makes the 100th time but, Pepe Escobar is an actor by the name Tony Greenberg, of the famed Greenberg family of mostly crisis actors related by marriage to D. Rockefeller.

I’m sure the Russians have tools in the toolbox, sometimes they work. Mostly the plot thickens as in any story of intrigue. Can’t wait til Trump 2024, he’s a real diplomat.

another Doug
another Doug

Maybe take NY and DC first.

teo toon
teo toon

Anonymous just revealed it is CIA: do you really think anybody would be allowed to have that much computing power in a surveillance/pp;ice state?

SeeBee
SeeBee

Boots on the ground…..

flash
flash

Well, if everybody else is doing it…
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Rusty Shackleford
Rusty Shackleford

That tells you exactly who the good guys are.

Doohickey
Doohickey

This clown puts on a set of fatigues like a Hollywood actor and suddenly he becomes a hero. He’s nothing more than a 2 star comedian. It would’ve been like having Rodney Dangerfield in the White House during the Vietnam war. I’m supposed to be impressed? ha. But the lies and propaganda machine is revved up and running on full speed. Even Tucker is starting to go sideways. In his last couple shows he was much more subdued and blamed it all on Putin. The stasi must have paid him a visit. I guess I’ll have to settle for TBP and Zerohedge for objective and accurate news. On last night’s nightly news I thought the anchor was going to tell us that Putin was seen torturing Ukrainian puppy dogs and gassing all Ukrainian pensioners.

flash
flash

Same as it always was…

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August
August

Putin eats Ukrainian babies… while they’re still alive!

Zulu Foxtrot Golf
Zulu Foxtrot Golf

Good shit Stuckmeister.

ZFG, out.

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WTF
WTF

Excellent job Stucky! Made my day!

Mary Christine

This afternoon I listened to mainstream local radio just to see for myself how bad it is. All I heard was Putin is insane…he’s lost his mind..and various and sundry other ways to describe a lunatic. This info came from known liars. I think they are projecting, since we have a lunatic in the Oval Office.

We are so screwed.

hardscrabble farmer
hardscrabble farmer
B_MC
B_MC

From the Twitter comments….Its like she is about to get to open presents at Christmas.

Helen
Helen

Those dentures were nearly out, she had to do some fancy manoeuvres to keep them in. I saw a slo-mo of it and enlarged it. I always root for the dentures to escape.

Mitch
Mitch

Someone said, seriously, that what’s burning in the burn pits is evidence of all the corruption and theft that they’ve been doing in Ukraine. This would make her day.

Balbinus

Upon viewing the list of Ukraine supporters including Soros, Schwab and all the ultra leftist crowd I can only draw one conclusion, rootin for Putin.

BB
BB

I don’t know if anyone here watches RT news. I get t on Dish Network right now. It seems to be that this is the only objective news I can find. They are cancelling it right and left in Europe so it has become my favorite source of news along with TBP. Even a lot of What finger seems to be siding with Ukraine.

B_MC
B_MC

Hope that Dish can hold out….

The Purge Of RT News Continues As DirecTV Cuts Off Broadcasts in U.S.

The Purge Of RT News Continues As DirecTV Cuts Off Broadcasts in U.S.

Anonymous
Anonymous

Why do you write this crap. It’s a waste of our time when we are looking for real information.

Markiss
Markiss

This article is REAL INFORMATION in the form of SATIRE. More real info here than all the news outlets combined.

Markiss
Markiss

By the way: Who is WE? Are you speaking for yourself and your other personality? How many of you are there?

m
m

So tell us where you found real information.

RiNS
D. Gatos
D. Gatos

Just another fluff piece of propaganda. The fog of war is strong on the whole thing. The WEF wants all attention diverted away from their actions.

Fedup
Fedup

Zelenski in a YMCA type routine

Two if by sea.
Two if by sea.

So sayeth the Stucky. Amen

flash
flash

This is your nation on Globohomo.

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BL
BL

The club blows it up, tears it down , levels it out, then rebuilds and sells it back to you and they are KIND enough to finance it for you also. Humanity “R” Dumb.

flash
flash

Highlights from the State Of Joe’s dementia.

ASIG
ASIG

“Go get em” – Oops he screwed that up too, he meant to say “Lets Go Brandon”.

Anonymous
Anonymous

No, that was asking for new Depends.

flash
flash

What the past tense of stupid? ‘Murica …gonna’ have to vote a lot harder.

Robert Smith
Robert Smith

Wonderful. Thanks so much.

Jim
Jim

Stucky is right again. The US has enabled the western Ukraine region’s bad behavior for too long.

anonymous
anonymous

In the same way we rate the Superbowl commercials (beer commercials being the pinnacle of excellence), so we should be rating the disinformation/propaganda war between The West and Russia.

We are looking for classics here that will last decades.

Anonymous
Anonymous

Brilliant

flash

What does Globohomo want ?

Nuclear war.

When do they want it ?

Now!

The reality is that a no-fly zone, which sounds cute and “safe” in a way that would especially appeal to females seeking to bubble-wrap the world, would actually mean declaring an air war against Russia.

What the Hell Is Going On? Globalist Cabal Is Now “Cheerleading” For Nuclear War

flash

Ukrainian chirren. Why we fight.

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ursel doran
ursel doran

Armstrong has some fresh notes here.

Ukraine & Reality

Norman Franklin

You still da man, herr stuckmeister. That was funny shit. “Threw the baby in a boiling pot of borscht.” Sounds vaguely familiar to throwing babies from incubators. You my friend could have a great career as a narrative shaper for the see eye A.

YourAverageJoe
YourAverageJoe

I keep an open mind.
Is this guy the problem or is Putin the problem.
I think Russia has a reason to be anxious over having a hostile treaty organization wanting to encroach on territory that was part of.the organization in 1987.

Mary Christine

Hmmm… I guess she’s all about Ukraine freedom but not Canadian freedom?

Mary Christine

🤣🤣🤣

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