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It is my sincere desire to provide readers of this site with the best unbiased information available, and a forum where it can be discussed openly, as our Founders intended. But it is not easy nor inexpensive to do so, especially when those who wish to prevent us from making the truth known, attack us without mercy on all fronts on a daily basis. So each time you visit the site, I would ask that you consider the value that you receive and have received from The Burning Platform and the community of which you are a vital part. I can't do it all alone, and I need your help and support to keep it alive. Please consider contributing an amount commensurate to the value that you receive from this site and community, or even by becoming a sustaining supporter through periodic contributions. [Burning Platform LLC - PO Box 1520 Kulpsville, PA 19443] or Paypal
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To donate via Stripe, click here.
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Use promo code ILMF2, and save up to 66% on all MyPillow purchases. (The Burning Platform benefits when you use this promo code.)
Welcome fellow members of Sublime Fraternity of Couch Potatoes to Friday Fail. Admin sure kept us waiting this week. I’d have given up if I had anything else scheduled for the rest of my life. Now, let’s see if anyone else was desperate enough to stick around. If not, I guess I’ll just be entertaining myself–same as usual.
That’s not where your depends go joe.
Well, he is a shithead, so…
Yeah, I gave up earlier.
John, trying to run away from his troubles, suddenly felt the weight of the world on his shoulders.
High speed treadmill FACED.
With a melon bounce and rapid dismount.
honey, you always moan in pain when you get back from the gym
George Lutz tragically passed away yesterday after he forgot which end goes up.
Darwin, my dear Bob. Darwin.
That stick is pregnant.
Down for a cat nap.
I’d buy that cat another beer.
Flying lessons cures that.
Average Joe. Paging Average Joe.
Sorry, Aunty, us old fart f.f.liers are sick AND perverted.
The Democrats seriously considered running this man, Brent Bannerman, for president in 2020, but determined that Biden’s senility was more advanced.
I never doubted you, Joe. Not even when I was knee-high to a junebug.
No I did not!
and in Hollyweird
James wondered why no one else had ever attempted the 3/4 flip until he found himself lodged in the wall.
James; “oh look, a doughnut”.
In the middle of his routine, he saw it: the elusive stag beetle.
He would have it this time, he said to himself.
pindick
Niggah gotta nig.
Yeah, they do. They thang.
The moment Arnie first regretted not paying attention in physics class.
Arnie’s finances wouldn’t allow him to build the pool until next year.
Why do we call our team the grasshoppers? . . . Never mind.
A well endowed melanin pile.
Associate-powered lawn FACED.
Drink beer instead
DiHydrogen monoxide can cause rapid convulsions and death when entering the lungs. It is a colourless, odourless chemical compound. Used as an industrial solvent in every factory in the world and is present in many dangerous acidic and caustic compound throughout the world.
Amazingly, it is also present in varying degeree in most all of your favourite drinks and food preparations and most importantly is rapidly absorbed into body tissues and bloodstream.
Even though farmers routinely cover their crops with it, the CDC and FDA has placed no limits for farmers use or for the food factories in production of consumer edibles.
We must ban this compound. sign my petition here
Emergency legislation will be passed, like the PATRIOT act, the great Cornynholio is on the job !!!
What about the guy who fell into the beer vat?
Should have punched the bitch first.
Somehow Sandra’s innovation, the belly flop dismount, never caught on.
It was the mat FACED that doomed that dismount.
Ouch.. thats got to hurt .
mallet FACED!
Reminds me of that Will Smith moment. Gonna prove his machismo to his woman and gets bitchslapped right in front of her.
Thus begins and ends top soccer highlights of 2022.
“Faced”-denied.
Alex needed a stiff drink after falling off the wagon.
Proper anti-FACED response.
It all begins to go bad and any pretense of recovery is abandoned.
Arms forward and down.
Face turned right or left.
Body roll on impact.
Face protected from rapidly advancing pavement by sacrificing more sturdy bodily appendages.
Alex?? Thats Cory from miffbuthders… he has a lisp after this face plant…
YourAverageJoes’s daughter entertains their cat.
A father couldn’t be more proud.
brings a tear to my eye….
Through the ceiling and still lands on its feet.
Hey honey, if you’re old enough, turn upside-down!
With a grip like hers, it reminds me of the Pollack with a bionic arm.
Secret technology allows us to participate in YourAverageJoe’s nightmare.
Hahahahahaha! That’s some funny shit right there!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!
Cat-astrophic fail
NEVER let cats near a party. Trust me.
Todd the raccoon plays the water harp for his fans.
For your listening pleasure:
Finally, some harp music worth listening to.
I must have missed that part.
pretty cool
Mom! I want a harp for Christmas!
Peter was disappointed no candy fell out of daddy’s sack.
All he would get are nuts anyway.
This was me,didn’t realize I was signed-out.
OMG, why am I failing at staying signed-in?
All he would get are nuts anyway
There’s only one way to get candy to fall out of his dad’s sack. Ok maybe two ways…
1. Who would have of ever thought that would happen?
2. Let me just stand in front of junior swinging a long wooden pole..
3. Not my idea of getting a woody..
2X fail. Nice.
I’d say he’s having a bad day.
Our newest IRS agent.
Sum Dum Fuk
neat dog in the manager trick
Well, I’ll never get that 30 seconds back.
Take a bow, Bob.
What good would that do? You’d still waste them here.
Impressive.
Reminds me a lot of my old neighborhood in Japan.
Don’t fret, Becky, there are only about 65 million people watching. You’ll live it down if you live to be 100. Keep going; we’re still live.
Is that were they store the emergency supply of Nuts
Too bad that shirt didn’t get wet.
I’m sure it didn’t go so well when the guy was caught again.
You know they let Dog administer some disipline.
Did you mean Dawg. I’m good, very good, with discipline.
They have a future with the FBI.
Cue the Benny Hill music.
Thanks to Benny Hill, I got into trouble for calling my step-dad a “stoopit iriot.” It was just a joke but he was totally unfamiliar with the Benny Hill show and had no clue what it was all about.
I got a condolence card from my folks when Benny Hill died, cause they knew I was a huge fan!
Tango had a fun day…
Glorious!
Whales are just unreal..
Creatures worth venerating.
Being a whale seems like a pretty good gig…I like seafood, too.
When things went black I could tell he was white.
Quite the comedown from the matrix.
Bloody ketchup faced
Geez…….and I thought the pole dancer had a grip!
Luscious.
Peek-a-boo…I’ll do you.
FF Survey of the day: is the love of a good woman closer to priceless (thumbs up) or pricey (thumbs down).
Depends on what you want the woman to be good at.
Bofe.
Looks a bit like Patty Hearst (yeah, I’m old).
Yup! you’re right. I’m Old too.
I just tried that and, if I may be so bold, I heartily recommend against it unless you want your balls lodged in your throat.
Or in the stair spindles….sorta like that squirrel.
When my knees bend like that, it is not on purpose.
These are the best CA…..wait for them every week….
Thank you.
I laugh out loud at them!
There is no proper FF without you, nkit.
no doubt whose the daddy of those pups