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Use promo code ILMF2, and save up to 66% on all MyPillow purchases. (The Burning Platform benefits when you use this promo code.)
It is my sincere desire to provide readers of this site with the best unbiased information available, and a forum where it can be discussed openly, as our Founders intended. But it is not easy nor inexpensive to do so, especially when those who wish to prevent us from making the truth known, attack us without mercy on all fronts on a daily basis. So each time you visit the site, I would ask that you consider the value that you receive and have received from The Burning Platform and the community of which you are a vital part. I can't do it all alone, and I need your help and support to keep it alive. Please consider contributing an amount commensurate to the value that you receive from this site and community, or even by becoming a sustaining supporter through periodic contributions. [Burning Platform LLC - PO Box 1520 Kulpsville, PA 19443] or Paypal
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To donate via Stripe, click here.
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Use promo code ILMF2, and save up to 66% on all MyPillow purchases. (The Burning Platform benefits when you use this promo code.)
Click to visit the TBP Store for Great TBP Merchandise
I’m first!!!!!!!
A dubious distinction if ever there was one.
Honestly, I don’t know if I congratulating you or feeling sorry for you (for reloading TBP countless times from early on) would be the better response…
No, I opened it up in the morning before work every day and I just got there at the right time.
But feeling sorry for me makes you feel better go right ahead.
And I also ran a pool table once in my entire life that was a good Day.
Sometimes you just get lucky
Those rare days you just get lucky are the best.
I’m genuinely happy for you.
good start, now all you need is to bowl 300 and golf a hole-in-one!
For me, a good bowel movement is the best way to start a morning.
One of the golf pros did that in a recent tournament, although since his 1st two shots were in the drink his hole in one was merely a saved par.
Finally Friday. Have a great day everyone!
Not my circus, not my monkeys.
I feel bad for parents nowadays.
You have to be able to explain the birds and the bees.
…the bees and the bees.
The birds and the birds.
The birds that used to be bees.
The bees that used to be birds.
The birds that look like bees.
Plus, bees that look like birds, but still have their stinger!
No tougher to be a parent now than ever. Tell your kids bees will always be bees and birds will always be birds no matter what some purple-haired bitch tries to tell you.
Don’t feel sorry for or fear for your kids because the world they are going to grow up in is not what it used to be.
God created them and called them for the exact moment in time that they’re in. Their life wasn’t a coincidence or an accident.
Raise them up to know the power they walk in as children of God.
Train them up in the authority of His Word.
Teach them to walk in faith knowing that God is in control.
Empower them to know they can change the world.
Don’t teach them to be fearful and disheartened by the state of the world but hopeful that they can do something about it.
Every person in all of history has been placed in the time that they were in because of God’s sovereign plan.
He knew Daniel could handle the lions’ den.
He knew David could handle Goliath.
He knew Esther could handle Haman.
He knew Peter could handle persecution.
He knows that your child can handle whatever challenge they face in their life. He created them specifically for it!
Don’t be scared for your children, but be honored that God chose you to parent the generation that is facing the biggest challenges of our lifetime. Rise up to the challenge.
Raise Daniels, Davids, Esthers, and Peters!
God isn’t scratching His head wondering what He’s going to do with this mess of a world.
He has an army He’s raising up to drive back the darkness and make Him known all over the earth.
Don’t let your fear steal the greatness God placed in them. I know it’s hard to imagine them as anything besides our sweet little babies, and we just want to protect them from anything that could ever be hard on them, but they were born for such a time as this.
Great advice to relay to the kids, but I think I and a lot of us parents can take encouragement from your statement as well!
Yeah, my parents raised me that way, too, but it turned out I wasn’t David or Daniel or any of those. Now, a lifetime later, I still haven’t achieved greatness, and dogs are pretty much all that’s left of my religion. But I’ll settle for that, and be grateful.
Very good advice, CA; part-time preacher? I did my best to raise my boys to be the best men they could be. One now does a decent job with his little girl in a tough situation. The other, sadly has been called up by the Great Architect already. Vax victim, I believe, but of course they still say “cause unknown” after almost a year. I just try to believe that he is fulfilling the plan laid for him in the beginning.
and be sure to tell them to not let the pervs cut off your pecker!
And what are the chances these three are EXACTLY one pound?
I done gots me sum dam 5W-20 Mazola at dee sto.
Like you could keep a man….
Olive oil only goes in Fiats, lady. And, um that’s the wrong hole.
Back in the day one of my friends owned a Vega. Normally, if there were burnout marks they came from the general vicinity of the engine.
That was NOT a stock Vega engine. Those little shitcans could never get out of their own way, and generally died before 50k.
Quite possibly one of the smartest working canines to grace a livestock owner’s field.
It’s worth the click, i.m.o.
https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dwjkrY_yxNz953mLrneOSf6PD82UnJ8hu28h17bHupGmfV9ePcatByKgPXXr7iaebXOr4gxEaJ4Hz6195SVO4q42a3jFKji2DLOrNMdr0soV13wB0WXQv7jW2ZUVswd4LZaJ3U
And another one worth watching…watch for those perked ears and tail wags at the 0.14 second mark.
https://www.msn.com/en-us/video/animals/rescue-dog-learns-to-ice-skate/vi-AA17F0ho?ocid=mailsignout&pc=U591&cvid=7a3b8acd3c4344acbd9f961a926a13d5
Suds – Used to love to watch the working dog competition at the state fair. It was always entertaining to see how well the dogs responded to nothing but the animal’s reactions and the handlers hand signals.
TN, what impressed me about that vid was, cold, wet, muddy conditions,
and she was just waiting on her master’s command. When given, she tore off as if there was zero time to spare and corralled that herd, pushing it exactly where it was required to go, with an efficiency unmatchable by humans, unless on horseback. Then, once done, she returned to her perch, and looked to her master for an evaluation, and once given an atta-girl!, relaxed, and never once seemed to be reluctant, in such sloppy, miserable conditions. Some human workers should recognize such stellar work ethic and loyalty. Wow.
breed better workers
Looks like the sheep have done this before, too.
mea culpa, if this is a repeat, in scanning the collected memes from the last week or so.
Another week went by already? Wow.
Time for the bestest part of M-F…
FRIDAY FAIL!!!
Huh, I would’ve said he’s just being naughty, and I’d inform him, “Get out of there before I flush you into the sewer!”
It’s positive reinforcement, Bob.
Trust me, I know a bit about that having NEVER experienced it throughout my entire childhood. (Ooops, I probably should’ve kept that to myself or just told the shrink I see 8 times a week.)
Admin,
You didn’t get my Stuckey Furniture store sign I emailed you for FF?
With your face I’m not sure it will help, ma’am.
Butterface indeed
Ed Zachery
Mudshark.
and they don’t care how ugly or old as long as it’s white!
And can post bail.
Pharmacist: There’s a guy that has a miniature horse stud farm, he buys most of ’em.
This is to certify that the well-past-his-prime Dishon. Robert D. P necessitates the use of gorgeous call girls at bed times. Minimum requirements would be one per night.
Signed:
Dr. Harry Beaver
Believe it or not, my wife didn’t believe this was legitimate! I’ll never understand women.
Dr. Feldtersnatch….
Dr. Seymour Bush….
Has anyone seen Mike Hunt?
Looks legit to me, Bob. Let me show it to my wife ans see what she says…OWW!
The gorgeous creature on the bottom right makes me as horny as the one on the bottom left.
money Bob and more money is what the young cuties want? especially if you’re an old fart!
I just threw up a little.
Just a little…?
Imagine having sat on that for a couple days waiting to use it as a SERIOUS Friday Fail! Every time I save another pix a stupid little icon of that one is displayed. Chickie is NOT happy with me making little messes and extra dirty laundry the past few days.
(But for me it’s all worth it since she really likes my memes – or so she says.)
But you go ahead and send more FRN’s to the corrupt comedian, Traitor,
because, it’s not like we need to fix our infrastructure, and we’re not having any problems with train derailments lately.
Never mind civil rights. After all the black riots and thefts and rapes and murders, not to mention trillions in welfare giveaways, give us conservatives our reparations!
Those are ounces at best ;p
Nice generous ounces. 4 fingers full and “puffy”.
It says “Quarter pounder”. 4 ozs. Get it?
i remember when they were called “lids”
And the lid had fingers.
Yeah, me to, but I never knew why.
Barf –
And let me tell you 50 bucks is a lot of money for a kick in the nuts.
In my case cougars are in their seventies and eighties, and they’re like, “Don’t mind the spider webs down there.”
darn it, a cougar for me is like a Martha Stewart type?
She was a model back in the day.
Yeah, I hate that
Dear F*CK IT ALL company,
Whenever I give your FUCK ME pen to women at the bar I get slapped. Then I give them your FUCK YOU pen and I get slapped again. I want my money back.
Bob P
Dear Bob P,
Please see the pen we sell which is the second from the bottom. It clearly states ‘Fuck me.’
May I presume we should be looking forward to a large order from you in the very near future?
Best regards,
Mr. FuckYa’ll
PR Director
FuckItAllPens
Yeah, thanks, Mr. PRD, I saw that belatedly and changed the comment.
Dear Bob P,
In that case we are pleased to provide you as a good will gesture this complimentary pen shipped directly to you freight on board.
Cordially,
Mr. Fuck Ya’ll
PR Director
FuckItAllPens
Next time just hand the bartender (not AOC) the ” Fuck it ” pen and walk out.
just a slap, but did you score?
In English, it means she has no skills or talent and is too lazy to work, so she hopes to make a living spewing nonsense to idiots.
Might also have to do with trading “her” for a crazed criminal.
Meesa lika disa Isabella Maria DeLuca
Crazed criminal, my ass.
Victor is a calm, calculating professional.
Criminal is irrelevant as the state makes that determination.
The Russian state does not consider him a criminal.
Like ours does not consider “her” a criminal.
Sell guns to terrorists as an agent of the US government, or as a protected, Stock Market-listed death merchant where Uncle Sam gets huge kickbacks and everything is fine. Do the EXACT SAME THING as an “independent” agent with Uncle Sam getting NO kickbacks and you are the worst man on the face of the earth.
I still think “she” is a guy….
The pool boy and gardener opted not to get into the picture until after the kids left.
This is the Internet.
The pictures are out there somewhere.
Maybe Xhamster.
I’m sure the dindu had a ball.
Sorry, Mr. Cannibal, I know in my heart a woman tastes a lot better than a man. (Their thighs are particularly scrumptious.)
And they return to Backspace.
….From Alt-itude….
I hope the Spacebar has an emergency ESC route.
If Anthony Edwards had died in real life, this would be cruel.
Hopefully he got paid for some of the flashback scenes.
Oh, d-d-d-d-dear.
I’m going to steal this one to send out on Easter Saturday, SOH, k?
Got a vision of even Jesus laughing at this one.
Well done, again this week, Estudiante de Historia.
When all else fails,
Vaya con Dios.
Can’t steal what’s already “stolen” my friend…
👍🏻
And Noah’s wife tasted a lot better than Noah. So there, cannibal.
And what makes you think a pessimist would lend it to you?
My optimism?
Fuck off, cow. Melt me now and I’ll be back next week, when you’ll be on special at the supermarket.
Two-pound piss flaps are nasty. The best ones start at 5 grand.
True. Trouble is, common sense isn’t common. Should be labelled uncommon sense.
Its a super power now. Only TBP’rs seem to have it. mostly
great! only worse happened here when a farmer in a pick-up went through and the machine rolled up the barb wire in his bed. then a lady in a new Gold Edition Cadillac went through behind him and the machine/barb wire tore her vinyl roof and sheet metal to shreds!
yep, all we need is FJB!
Also Oriental Avenue would give the woke a stroke. We’d have to rename it Chink Street or Gook Avenue or Slant Eye Blvd.
Slope Lane. Zipperhead Pkwy.
Shovel-face Road
and “free” parking ? not now.
These professors need to face the wall. I had one for botany.
FAKE!
The dog is white so this test would never appear in
a public school test.
The correct answer is “yes”.
There must be some kind of miscommunication. I thought I applied for the ‘other people do my job’ position.
The salary is way higher that way!
A 15 minute diversion vid of some still pictures,
of a siren I had never heard of before. Whoa.
Talk about attractive. Holy smokes.
Thanks, Suds, but I understand perfectly why men only want her for her body without having to waste 15 minutes.
Pretty woman.
EDIT: OOOPS! I forgot to translate the text above the pix.
It should read: “The side effects from following the drooping stylie thingy.” (Loosely, very loosely translated.)
I found the Danish more comprehensible than the translation.
Yeah, machine translators make anyone an expert…
. . . until humans are all replaced.
(BTW, it isn’t Danish) 😝
What language is it?
It’s really poorly written Norwegian. (“…up and go…” is English, isn’t it?)
Sadly it’s from one of the few (tiny) Norwegian sites I frequent, and in this case one where most who visit (and especially) comment consider themselves a cut above their average fellow citizen.
BTW, fair play to you, my translation was really more “Mancunian English” vernacular than anything else…
I lived in the UK for almost 20 years and this meme just sorta “speaks to me…”