PIERRE, SD — After Governor Kristi Noem caught her puppy playfully barking at the mailman today, she broke out her 12-gauge shotgun and apologized for what was about to happen.
“I’m sorry it’s come to this, Max,” said Noem, loading two shells in the magazine. “But you did bark at the mailman, after I specifically asked you not to. Don’t worry, I’ll make it fast.”
According to sources, Governor Noem had only last week blown away her last puppy with an AR-15 after she caught him digging in the garden. “These dogs are just so hard to train,” said Noem, cleaning her rifle. “It’s a shame you have to annihilate a few puppies with high-grade weaponry, but hey – that’s just life on a farm!”
Governor Noem reportedly led her puppy Max down to the infamous gravel pit where she prefers to perform her executions. “Stop dragging your paws, Max. Ugh, you are just the worst,” said Noem as they walked into the puppy graveyard. “Four dozen puppies, and I still haven’t found one that can be trained. Oh, well. Get ready for doggie heaven, Max.”
At publishing time, Democrats had condemned Noem for killing puppies when they aren’t even Jewish.
It is my sincere desire to provide readers of this site with the best unbiased information available, and a forum where it can be discussed openly, as our Founders intended. But it is not easy nor inexpensive to do so, especially when those who wish to prevent us from making the truth known, attack us without mercy on all fronts on a daily basis. So each time you visit the site, I would ask that you consider the value that you receive and have received from The Burning Platform and the community of which you are a vital part. I can't do it all alone, and I need your help and support to keep it alive. Please consider contributing an amount commensurate to the value that you receive from this site and community, or even by becoming a sustaining supporter through periodic contributions. [Burning Platform LLC - PO Box 1520 Kulpsville, PA 19443] or Paypal
-----------------------------------------------------
To donate via Stripe, click here.
-----------------------------------------------------
Use promo code ILMF2, and save up to 66% on all MyPillow purchases. (The Burning Platform benefits when you use this promo code.)
