U.S. — Following the revelation that a deadly parasite was once removed from his skull, political experts were shocked to learn that the dead worm found in Robert F. Kennedy, Jr.’s brain was already polling higher than Joe Biden in 11 states.
The latest poll results indicated a large portion of the electorate had abandoned Biden in favor of the deceased parasite that had previously been lodged in RFK Jr.’s brain, leaving the White House scrambling to formulate a strategy to combat the dead worm.
“We weren’t expecting to see numbers like these,” said one high-ranking Biden campaign strategist under the condition of anonymity. “We considered the fact that Joe would struggle up against living competition, but seeing him fall behind a worm that isn’t even alive is a huge red flag. We’re really fighting an uphill battle here. And, from what I’ve heard, you never want to fight uphill.”
A campaign team had already begun to coalesce around the dead brain worm, believing it to be the most viable candidate on the left to provide an alternative to Biden. “Brain Worm 2024!” shouted one excited campaign staffer. “Why risk another four years under a failed Biden administration when you can take a stand for a brighter, more prosperous future with a dead brain worm at the helm?”
At publishing time, rumors had begun swirling that the dead worm from RFK Jr.’s brain was in discussions to name the fly that landed on Mike Pence during a debate as its running mate.
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Whoever told RFK Jr. it’s a great idea to make public that he had a parasite worm eating his brain is an idiot. Like Kristy Noem’s story of shooting her dog, there’s no upside to sharing this information.
“there’s no upside to sharing this information.”
Uh….,I have to disagree,this stuff makes for great humor/something we need more of!
Laughter IS the best medicine! It’s how I protected myself from Covid. I just got high as balls and laughed at it until it went away!
Well,getting high probably ain’t healthy. However,it probably didn’t give you myocarditis or turbo cancer while protecting you and grandma from Covid.
Here comes the censorship and 3AM no-knock SWAT arrests:
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Schadenfreude:
All the best leaders have had their brains partially eaten by the Zionist parasite. That’s how you know they’re the one …reeeeee
Does this infer that Brandon has a brain…?
Some parasites eat straw.
The Bee is getting to be a worthless schill for Warp Speed.
How did Brandon get 29%?!
I first saw RFK Jr & the worm in his brain as a headline for an article in yesterday’s Chicago Tribune – I clicked on it to see what it was about, but it only resulted in a blank page.
Guess the Trib finally figured out it was satire, but they still forgot to remove the headline from its website.
Sad but true fact of life is that most of Team Democrat’s candidates are nowhere as appealing as a dead worm.
This was a real story?! Told ya: Mkultra boy.
Now ‘the worm’ can explain weird memory losses etc.
Searching this I noticed the lefty mainstream is covering for him such as, ‘more common than you might think’.
For those who said no way would the left support him.