Dead Worm Found In RFK Jr.’s Brain Already Polling Higher Than Biden In 11 States

Via The Babylon Bee

U.S. — Following the revelation that a deadly parasite was once removed from his skull, political experts were shocked to learn that the dead worm found in Robert F. Kennedy, Jr.’s brain was already polling higher than Joe Biden in 11 states.

The latest poll results indicated a large portion of the electorate had abandoned Biden in favor of the deceased parasite that had previously been lodged in RFK Jr.’s brain, leaving the White House scrambling to formulate a strategy to combat the dead worm.

“We weren’t expecting to see numbers like these,” said one high-ranking Biden campaign strategist under the condition of anonymity. “We considered the fact that Joe would struggle up against living competition, but seeing him fall behind a worm that isn’t even alive is a huge red flag. We’re really fighting an uphill battle here. And, from what I’ve heard, you never want to fight uphill.”

A campaign team had already begun to coalesce around the dead brain worm, believing it to be the most viable candidate on the left to provide an alternative to Biden. “Brain Worm 2024!” shouted one excited campaign staffer. “Why risk another four years under a failed Biden administration when you can take a stand for a brighter, more prosperous future with a dead brain worm at the helm?”

At publishing time, rumors had begun swirling that the dead worm from RFK Jr.’s brain was in discussions to name the fly that landed on Mike Pence during a debate as its running mate.

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14 Comments
Cricket
Cricket
May 9, 2024 9:21 am

Whoever told RFK Jr. it’s a great idea to make public that he had a parasite worm eating his brain is an idiot. Like Kristy Noem’s story of shooting her dog, there’s no upside to sharing this information.

James
James
  Cricket
May 9, 2024 10:22 am

“there’s no upside to sharing this information.”

Uh….,I have to disagree,this stuff makes for great humor/something we need more of!

comment image

The Central Scrutinizer
The Central Scrutinizer
  James
May 9, 2024 12:08 pm

Laughter IS the best medicine! It’s how I protected myself from Covid. I just got high as balls and laughed at it until it went away!

Anonymous
Anonymous
  The Central Scrutinizer
May 9, 2024 2:54 pm

Well,getting high probably ain’t healthy. However,it probably didn’t give you myocarditis or turbo cancer while protecting you and grandma from Covid.

Anonymous
Anonymous
May 9, 2024 10:04 am

Here comes the censorship and 3AM no-knock SWAT arrests:

FBI Begins ‘Communications’ with Social Media Platforms to Fight ‘Disinformation’ Ahead of 2024 Election

.

CNN Fact Checker Defends George Soros, Claims He’s Target of ‘Antisemitic Conspiracy Theories’

Illegal Immigrants in Denver Issue Long List of Demands to City

Top Tech CEO Warns ‘Wokeness’ Is ‘The Central Risk’ to America

Ted Cruz: Democrats’ Only Hope to Stop Trump Is by Jailing Him

.
Schadenfreude:

Hillary Clinton’s Feminist Musical ‘Suffs’ Featuring ‘Non-Binary’ Performers Struggles at Box Office

flash
flash
May 9, 2024 10:54 am

All the best leaders have had their brains partially eaten by the Zionist parasite. That’s how you know they’re the one …reeeeee

Anonymouse
Anonymouse
May 9, 2024 2:30 pm

Does this infer that Brandon has a brain…?

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Anonymouse
May 9, 2024 2:55 pm

Some parasites eat straw.

Travis Bickle
Travis Bickle
May 9, 2024 8:04 pm

The Bee is getting to be a worthless schill for Warp Speed.

Rifles are the Cure
Rifles are the Cure
May 9, 2024 9:56 pm

How did Brandon get 29%?!

Jackie Puppet
Jackie Puppet
May 9, 2024 10:39 pm

I first saw RFK Jr & the worm in his brain as a headline for an article in yesterday’s Chicago Tribune – I clicked on it to see what it was about, but it only resulted in a blank page.

Guess the Trib finally figured out it was satire, but they still forgot to remove the headline from its website.

Spinach Farmer
Spinach Farmer
May 10, 2024 5:12 am

Sad but true fact of life is that most of Team Democrat’s candidates are nowhere as appealing as a dead worm.

Anonymous
Anonymous
May 10, 2024 10:18 am

This was a real story?! Told ya: Mkultra boy.
Now ‘the worm’ can explain weird memory losses etc.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Anonymous
May 10, 2024 10:23 am

Searching this I noticed the lefty mainstream is covering for him such as, ‘more common than you might think’.
For those who said no way would the left support him.