The story from Aurora, Colorado goes like this: A man jumps out of his vehicle after dropping a lit cigarette down his jacket. He then stumbled while leaving the van – which was still running without its brakes on. In the process, he got caught under one of his own wheels. Doctors say the man is in critical condition but will likely survive.
Amou Haji is an 80 year old man who has chosen to live a solitary, nomadic life in Southern Iran. He hasn’t bathed in 60 years and smokes a pipe filled with animal feces. Haji believes “cleanliness brings him sickness,” according to the Tehran Times.
Though his chosen lifestyle may seem a little off, including eating his favorite meal of dead, rotten porcupine, Haji may be happier than many who live that of a more conventional lifestyle. He says the lacking of material possession actually makes him happy.
See more at the Fail Blog
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To pass the time over the last several months, given that the tyrants governing me have ruled out everything I used to do apart from reading and writing, I’ve written a play that focuses on some of the lunacies that comprise 2020. It’s free now on Smashwords (some have told me that free is too much and that I should pay them to read it, but I choose to ignore them). It’s also available on Amazon, but they make it almost impossible to give away books, so it’s 99 cents there.
Anyone eager to lose his shirt and his standing in the community—indeed you’d be run out of the community—is free to produce this play. The most entertaining aspect of putting on the play would be watching leftist heads explode, but I’m sure that will remain a fantasy since no one in the woke-infested entertainment industry would touch this. (This is handy for me since I can blame wholesale rejection on leftists rather than my own incompetence.) Maybe in 2120 someone will dig a copy out of the rubble and put on the play. I imagine, even if the audience—all 12 of them—find nothing humourous in the dialogue, they’ll howl at the foolishness of their forbearers a century ago.
Note that a good two dozen of the lines in the play were lifted from my comments on FF that were well received, which means if the play stinks, it’s your fault. Anyway, for those interested, here’s a brief description and the link.
Don’t Say it! is a slice of life in 2020, a year of unmitigated lunacy where feelings trump facts, where drivel like imaginary genders transcends existential problems such as war and famine, where we can be fired for saying all lives matter, where petty dictators forbid us from going outside–except to riot–because of a virus harmless to 99.9% of us. With wonder, disdain, and a great deal of biting humor, old-timers David and Peter poke fun at the folly.
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/1042409
Sounds cool. I think I’ll buy it on Amazon. I’ve thought maybe I should write a book, but somebody said you have to read one first. So I’ve got my work cut out for me.
Quickly finished scene one RD, scathing ?
A Kranky Kurt Schlichter wannabee?
I have downloaded your play and look forward to reading it. 93 pages and no pictures…might be tough sledding.
I am enjoying the hell out of your writing Bob! Your sense of humor would be a natural fit with my family.
Sorry to interrupt but BOOM!!!!
Ding dong.
Boom is right!
Is Jake Ballsack related to Stubby Dick? I think their cousin is Joe Mybalzich from Chicago.
Jake named his son Harry.
And their name is Anglicized.
They’re descendants of Balzac.
Play Stupid Games
Federal rap and conviction? DOJ needs to open up a nice large prison in the balmy western Aleutian islands for the Communists-Antifa-BLM-anarchist crowd.
From there they are free to fucking swim to Kamchatka or Manchuria for some moar Marxist fun and frolicking.
They already have the FEMA camps set up for the normies who will not abide by their rules. All they have to do is add a few safe spaces and it would be perfect for Auntie Fa.
The old Navy base at on Attu is mothballed.
Fuck those little shits. A few more need to shot in the face, and the good people need to run over a few more and punch them out. Arrests on the federal level with HIGH bail amounts will end the protests within 2 weeks.
Fuck the left!
ONLY 10 years? Too bad, so sad.
Hahahahahaha! That is almost as good as the Minneapolis city council wondering why crime is going through the (burnt up) roof.
Minneapolis City Council had the balls to ask the police chief why the cops aren’t out doing “their job” this week……..
This is insane, right?! They should only be getting about a week, and that’s only to properly size the electric chair for them.
OH! BOO HOO! BOO HOO! Welcome to the real world where KARMA reigns supreme. Just like we normal folks have known for years, “If you can’t do the time-don’t do the crime.” Oh, and say hello to “Bubba” when you get to the big house. I have a feeling you are going to “LUV” him.
Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.–
Mark Twain
Good evening, I’m canvassing for the Canadian Cancer Society, and I hope you can spare a few . . . Uh, never mind. A simple no would’ve sufficed, sir, but have a nice day.
Hard to read than when its placed against the forehead and between your eyes.
No need for them to get that close.
Sure they can criminalize onion relish, but stage a coup against a sitting president, you’re good to go.
Only the brown onions are criminalized.
Yep
Simple. He wasn’t black.
A little sick subtle twist I’ve noted as I skim the Sports page every morning is they’re now capitalizing Black and Hispanic but it’s just white for us Honkies.
That’s what “white privilege” gets you – absolutely nothing.
Gentlemen and Ladies,
Most of us can remember the first pic, that’s why we’re here
Then, will you please blow the horns off now?
One between the eyes would be better.
I can understand your point, but I have always preferred a small caliber to the gut. That way we get to watch them lay on the floor and wiggle, while the red stuff runs out.
Egad…. DEMONIC is the only word that comes to mind for the “Now” photo.
Wow! I’ve never seen a fairy godfreak before!
That’s it little fella, draw a bead on it.
Prescient
I miss Reagan; I miss the eighties. I miss common sense.
Make up your mind…which is it going to be.
The conspiracy of ignorance masquerades as common sense. That’s the best we get nowadays.
Or keep voting Republican … who are the absolute best at doing nothing to stop the Democrats.
Yea, that’s my two main complaints with Republicans. No backbone and no balls. Oh, wait. For some folks that may qualify as only one thing
Off to Siberia with you, you annoying little shit!
Yes, tasked to count the birches there, bitchez.
All soviet food is gluten-free. It is also bread-free. Like the old joke. A worker goes into a shoe shop to buy a loaf of bread. The salesmen says: “sorry, this is a shoe store. We only have no shoes. For bread you have to go across the street. There is the bakery. There they have no bread.”
They pretend to pay us…..we pretend to work.
Welcome to Communism
Having a hundred of these stickers made only costs a few dollars.
The response…Priceless
That’s fucken hilarious.
I’d love to seeing video of that happening.
I can hear the shouts of “Give me a towel, you stupid f*ing machine!” coming from restrooms across the country.
Theres one in the mens room at the gas station right off the 90 at the 365. I looked at it, said fuck that and left with wet hands.
Where do you get them???
I work in an office tower and there are over a hundred towel dispensers.
In the pool, everyone gets exposed to the piss, but in a restaurant nobody gets exposed to the WuFlu.
Yep, it’s like the old saw: You can’t have a pool without p.
Remember, the COVID (Controlling Oppressed Victims Independent Decisions) only operates above 5 feet in Restaurants!
Bob, can you relate?
The only difference is ten years or so. Some pretty gals keep their looks into their early fifties, but then time closes in and the natural process of decay overwhelms and by their sixties they become a broken down jalopy. Still worth a ride though.
just make sure ya got plenty of lube for that jalopy, BP.
You don’t want your dipstick to buckle upon re-insertion.
I’m very happy with my late model Cougar…no plans of trading her in ?
I just slap the dust off of my GILF and wear a face diaper
Cougar “Eliminator”, 429 cubic inches of fun.
Nice
Cougar “Rider”, with 4.29 inches of thrust’n and fun.
On a good day…..
And the nosepiece folds to one side so you don’t have to pull the engine to change the cam
If beautiful when first acquired, beauty can be maintained but it takes ever-increasing amounts of work and money. To the discriminating owner it’s all worth it, as replacing with a newer model is prohibitively expensive and nearly all of the newer models seem to have something terribly wrong with them.
Very clever, Neuday.
One of these cougars you can ride all the way to taco bell without getting carbon monoxide poisoning.
Instead to get food poisoning at the T.B.
Diarrhea….it’s best if you take the bag of taco bell “food” and throw it directly into the toilet. It’ll be there in an hour anyway…..
I’m afraid that I’m indeed the car, and my wife is still truly beautiful after all these years.
Guess I really did live in “heaven”. I’ve had them both. Actually, I was able to keep the bottom one longer.
They’re getting away with this in Denver Public Schools
Where are the Communist hammer ‘n sickle and Antifa flags?
Someone needs to have a stern word with the school’s comrade principal.
Frightening –
This is how much sad little puppets they are. The LGBTQ flag is inverted chakras. The red is supposed to be on the bottom as it is your lower self run by passion- lust, violence et al… The purple is your highest spiritual self and what you are supposed to attain through good living.
Now, the backers (DS) know this and it is the ultimate joke, that they are driving their minions to seek attainment of their lower selves, to be minions. Their own backers think they are brainless tools and laugh right in their faces as they use them for their agenda.
I prefer a backhoe
Utilizing Feral hogs is a lot less work.
“Feed ’em to the pigs, ‘arold.” -Brick Top
Using captive farm pigs you butcher in a few months is even smarter.
At least Farmer teddy said so.
Cuz Soylent Green is people, y’all.
Tastes great, and less filling, y’know
Me being a little older and a lot more lazy, I’ll hand them the shovel and tell them to dig a deep hole first.
In rural Texas, we have plenty of land and a backhoe. And no, I don’t need any help
That’s a fact jack
Don’t live in Texas, but I’ve got forty acres and a big set of discs behind my tractors.
‘Nough said
And if you have any further sniveling to do, keep in mind one of the big benefits of a free society is freedom to LEAVE.
Kind of like I have always told people, “so long as you leave me alone, I’ll let you live. Anyone who has a problem with that could easily end up with bigger problems.”
Stupid games
v
Thank Allah for the entertainment.
Nottin’ like back-blasting your buddy
I’m… not quite sure that’s what you meant. Butt maybe it is.
From Bob P’s autobiography
Just after marriage, I got a hold of a Kama Sutra book of sexual positions and had a laugh with my wife looking at the pictures. One would be lying flat one on top of the other, the next one person would raise an arm, next raise the other arm, then the partner would do the same, then bend a leg . . . It was all nonsense, but we tried them anyway, laughing and loving. New love is the best.
At this stage of life Auntie is a buy-sexual.
If Auntie wants casual fun sex, Auntie is going to have to buy it.
Jaws drop when I tell people that: “We’re all buy-sexual, you know. You pay for it one way or the other.”
That’s F’ng funny I don’t care who you are!
We really need a way to give more than one thumbs up.
My favourite kind of chick.
Same here, Bubba.
I prefer Dr. Daniels to do mine
At Blue Jays games, before the communist government here outlawed them, we’d smuggle in a mickey of whisky (that’s a 12-ouncer), then buy a large cup of coke, drink or pour off most of the pop, and fill it with whisky (i.e., about 12 ounces of whisky to four ounces of coke), then enjoy about three innings of the game before losing all memory of anything that happened for the next few hours. Best way to see a ball game.
In the past three days the Yankees hit 19 (!!!!!) home runs against the Jays … an all-time record in a series of ANY length.
Whiskey? If I were a Jays fan I’d probably have to snort heroin.
I moved to Brooklyn from Canada at age 6, just after the Dodgers left for LA and just before the Mets entered the league. I think every kid in Brooklyn loathed the Yankees with a passion and rooted for the Mets; so did I. Now I root for the Jays, but my hatred for the Yankees continues. To get slaughtered by the Yankees is the worst thing that can happen in sports. Par for the course in 2020.
Sounds like concerts at Red Rocks. At one time you could bring in your own drinks. Always spiked and there are several concerts that I never remember seeing the Headliners.
Cow Doctor I lived in Highlands Ranch for a while beautiful except Wash. Park at night. My concert was Peter Frampton in Hartford I think.
I remember Gary Wright and Dream Weaver but little else.
Mine was Waylon Jennings, remember my buddies dragging my puke covered self out of the bed of my pickup at my house and hosing me off by the front door. My father opened the door and it wasn’t pretty. We all worked during the summer for my Dad. Needless to say the next day we all got stuck with the shitiest, hardest work he could find for us. That never happened again.
It is the only way to make watching baseball fun.
Never in a million years…
Yes.
Some of us saw it coming like freight train, so YES.
Once I researched the origins of 1917 and saw who had control of US education, media, finance, congress, and judiciary, I saw it as inevitable.
Another case of the capitalists selling the rope with which to hang them.
Everyone born after FDR was elected has already seen most of it take place.
I never imagined this. The closest I ever came was watching “Red Dawn” and hoping I could have carried my own load. Guess we all get to find out.
I didn’t see this coming, and I was coming of age during the ’60’s. Lock and Load, Folks.
It was tried already in the 1930’s.
Vitamin I…can’t go nowhere without it
When I was 40 I yawned and pulled a muscle. Beat that.
Herniated a disc taking a shit.
Oh, shit; you win.
Ouch!!!
Had an uncle who ruptured a hemorrhoid trying to let a big fart into his wife’s lap. Darn near bled to death, right on the living room floor.
Screw the Ibuprofen, I use holistic, natural remedies like Vodka.
I knew everything when I was a teenager, but I know next to nothing at 65, and I’m not even senile yet.
Ain’t that the truth
When I was a teen, may parents were totally stupid. They learned a lot by the time I hit 30.
I remember my Father telling me at 12 years of age that I would think he was the biggest idiot that ever walked the earth for the next ten years. He then said that in 15 years I’d find out he was the wisest man that ever lived.
This is true. Age 13 changed my kid thoughts. Won’t know the endpoint.
Somewhere between 22 and 25 the light bulb comes on.
If your kid is still screwed up at 25, I have no hope for them to come out of it.
Mark Twain said:
The more you know, the more you don’t know.
Aristotle
You must be 970 years old.
See Genesis 5:27
It depends on who your parent are. Some try and help their children know whats going on, and others desperately need to cling to the belief that everything is going to be fine (especially if the ‘right’ person can only get elected).
Damn Straight
You are neither promised nor guaranteed another heart beat, so make the most of each one as they happen.
After Thanksgiving dinner
v
After about 3 hours I went back to look for my friend Jack, and I saw this. Poor Jack.
His teeth will be buried three days after the bear’s next shit.
That’s why you carry a .22 when hiking with a friend. One shot to the knee and the bear stops chasing you.
I thought we were to wear little bells and have pepper spray?
That’s if you intentionally go to feed the bears.
You do not need either one if you can outrun your friend. The .22 is to make sure you can.
Arrrree yoouuu ready to ruummbbble!
v
Mr. Eastwood, your white male privilege disgusts me. What do you say to that?
I’ll get things started.
Muscledawg
DAmn… I just pulled a muscle! 😀
Technically that’s not a muscle.
Sorry, Mr.L.: The Muscle of Love.
Tan lines?
Up next, nice pre-post Mix
Yes, yes you do have a tan line.
If I were her I’d gaze at myself all day, too.
It’s Oktoberfest time…Boobs and Beers, Damn I love Dirndl dresses.
All eight of them are beautiful.
Are those the kind of dresses with boobs pushing out the top?
Yep! And where they tie the ribbon at the waist tells if they’re single, engaged or married.
…and yet another nugget of information, gleaned from the wits of like minded, here on Thee Platform.
…It’s why the regulars hang out…Common Ground, and titillating bits and bytes of knowledge
to be shared. Ah-Ha!’s…in abundance.
The Truth.
Courtesy of Admin, and TMWNN.
-with appreciation, I say.
Thx Doc.
What is the code? Is there one for married, but not happily?
HILARIOUS !!!
That bastion of information, Wilipedia, calls that an urban legend. Sounds like a good ice-breaker question to me…
I’ve been told by an old Bavarian friend that if it’s tied on the right they’re spoken for, tied on the left they’re single and available and, if tied in the middle it’s nunya damn business.
Octoberfest??? I always enjoy celebrating sunsets. Even before it starts.
Hootchy mama!
They don’t make them like they used to. 1978 vacation, Hofbrauhaus in Munchen, our waitress was a grandmotherly type with FIVE of those in each hand. Needless to say, the young Nazis didn’t give her no lip. 🙂
She is a fucking dumb kunt. Visible tattoos are a sign of the proverbial lemming falling over the style cliff. Fucking stupid.
I never saw the tattoos until you mentioned them ??
Your eyes are on the wrong body parts.
Okay, Cow Doc, you get the brunette and I’ll take the blondes.
Your on
You’re out of luck, Bob. When they drop their drawers, you will see they are all brunettes.
More like they drop their drawers and not a hair to be seen.
Brings me to another thought. Is there a correlation between porn/fashion industries making sure that pubic hair is a no-no and as such conditioning men to accept this pre pubescent look and the sickening push to ingratiate pedophilia as mainstream.
I think you’re on to something there
has nothing to do with pedophilia..I just don’t enjoy licking hair or getting it in my teeth..or on my tongue..
nkit is correct, skin for the win!
Isn’t it a little early for Oktoberfest? Oh wait. I’m in Arizona.
Begins in September.
Mind if I rest my head below the glass to catch any drips?
A few more swallows and those things are going to bust.
Beware of wild, black, hairy, pussies.
Hold that pose while I place something in it.
See! There she is! Yeah. There’s ten there.
Or is it her great-great-granddaughter?
Ah yes, the creamy head.
Her mouth says it all.
Octoberfest has more than beer and BRATS this year.
Ja!
Joe has a thing for sweet puppies, don’t ya Joe.
Ja!