Ms. Freud is home today and has refused my pleading to not turn on CNN. However, as a lifelong Catholic (barely active) she flat out insisted on watching the Select-A-Pope spectacle on CNN.
Now, I was raised Catholic also (lapsed over 30 years), so the pomp and circumstance rituals were of no great surprise. What was surprising was my tremendous revulsion at their Other Worldly fantasy … almost to the point of throwing my glass of lemon-carrot juice at the television screen.
A bunch of old fuck men, mostly white, all serial masturbators (unless God changes males hormones to become less horny when faggots devote their lives to Him), wearing funny hats, and …. dresses, acting all solemn and important, as if God gives a fuck who THEY elect as the next Dope …. Errr, Pope. Kind of mind-blowingly absurd once you realize God can’t even hook up two normal humans without the benefit of ChristianMingle.com.
It’s just an all-boys club … complete with secret handshakes, secret oaths, and performing The Nasty in secret with little boys all over the world. It truly reminds me Jackie Gleason’s Moose Lodge on the Honeymooners, … they had secret handshakes too, as stupid little boys are wont to do. Only, these ass-clown Cardinals have an audience of about a billion people waiting to see the results of their secret balloting …. whether or not black or white smoke wafts from their little chimney.
Seriously, this religion has such a Comic Bookish feeling about it. A crappy Comic Book, at that.
Select-A-Pope … that’s the main thrust of this thread. Won’t spend too much time bashing that religion except to mention 5 other beliefs, plus a Bonus, that live on the Edge of Ridiculousness ….. things that make me wonder why there are any adult Catholics at all.
1– Papal Infallibility — assholes!! He’s a human being. All humans make mistakes. A quick and cursory glance regarding various popes will clear up any doubt how fucked in the head they are.
2– Indulgences —- aka, Let’s Make A Deal with God regarding how long someone gets tortured. Listen up numnuts, a God who takes pleasure in torturing the shit out of his created beings, isn’t one who is going to bargain. You’re pretty much fucked.
3—Transsubstantiation — the utterly childish belief that fermented grapes (bought at a store) magically and LITERALLY becomes Jesus’ actual blood …. and that a cracker (bought at a store) becomes literally Jesus’ body. I couldn’t believe this shit if I was high on two ounces of LSD.
4– Joseph never fucked Mary —– not once, not ever, even though the Bible says Jesus had brothers and sisters.
5)– Intersession —– the idea that a Priest is even needed as the link between you and God. Utter and total horseshit found nowhere in Scripture.
Bonus: The Doctrine of Look Away and STFU …… the principle whereby a Man of God can suck little boys dicks to his delight, and if he gets caught, merely gets reassigned to another parish.
.
The scary part of all this is that hundreds of millions of people believe this shit. You might even be one of them. (Don’t take this rant personally.) Cockroaches don’t believe this shit, and that’s why they’ll survive our demise.
They are still powerful men. Sad, but true.
“the Select-A-Pope spectacle” good work summing it up nicely.
#6. The doctrine of purgatory
Stucky is the Anti-z. Very funny stuff.
Stuckenheeb,
You should be more careful when talking about the pope. He is divine humanity personified. It just so happens that humanity is a bunch of soulless degenerate heathens. Do not further your case for the underworld. I am watching you.
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Damn, Ratzinger sure looks like the Star Wars Emperor. Gives me the Willies.
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Picture handling leaves a lot to be desired..
Database conenction errors, no rendering of PNG…
A hundred million Catholics in America …. and not one of you little Pope Worshippers is defending MY represenative on earth??
All of you will burn in Hell.
And I’m not answering any more of your prayers either. (99.999% of them were retarded anyway.)
Poor stucky, still not able to separate the word. The acts. And the actors.
I will agree that the history of the Catholic faith is full of evil deeds and acts. That’s what you gett with a god that will allow you freedom of choice. To eat of the forbidden fruit or to be the forbidden fruit , that is the question.
Religion is established by falible men. Followed by falible men. To believe otherwise is sad. Having said all of that the catholic faith has done some pretty aswome things.
For proof of gods love I give you, beer. Thank you trappist monks.
Stuck,
Remember when you were young and wanted to be the Pope?
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ZombieDawg
PNG = Pope’s Not God …. that’s why I won’t allow your stupid pic to be “rendered”.
Grow some fuckin balls and switch to Firefox …. (I LOVE fire … and so will you)
Better than Mormonism
And they gotz zee gold so they can make the rulz
Stuckencondoms
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All worship the Bishop of Camden
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though i have a deep belief in god, i have little faith in my church. but i sure would like to know what they have stashed in that library below the vatican.
who are you who thinks he know the difference between good and evil, right and wrong?–G
Jimski: We can thank monks for champagne too: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Champagne
The oldest recorded sparkling wine is Blanquette de Limoux, which was apparently invented by Benedictine Monks in the Abbey of Saint Hilaire, near Carcassonne in 1531. They achieved this by bottling the wine before the initial fermentation had ended.
el stucko, no doubt that last: The Doctrine of Look Away and STFU was inspired by someone who was trying to watch the proceedings on CNN.
aberrations aside, where would we be without a God fearing remnant to intercede for us sinners? oh, wait we don’t really have representatives in congress and we can’t afford lobbyists.
so george carlin was a cynic, look where it got him, dead as a fucking fuckhead. as al pacino said in scarface, you stupid fuck, look at you now. priests have to cleanse themselves first before they can pray for your worn out soul. give ’em a break.
Stucky,
I’m coming after you now. You posted a picture of a nipple. And not just any picture of a nipple, the virgin Mary’s nipple, the most holiest nipple ever. Hell hath no fury like a virgin Mary scorned.
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@JIMSKI – if ‘beer’ is proof of God’s love, then the Catholic Church and their monks are truly fucked… Ancient Egyptians had beer (drinking huge clay pots of it with a straw) and worshiped a divine mother (Isis) and her son (Horus) who was conceived under dubious circumstances (the father Osiris was not alive when Horus was conceived, thus Horus was born from immaculate conception). The Egyptians were doing all of this at least 3,000 years before the founding of the Catholic Church, maybe longer. But even the ancient Egyptians don’t get first dibs on God’s love. That would be the Sumerians of ancient Iraq, who were brewing beer not only before the existence of the Catholic Church but also roughly 6,000 years before the supposed birth of Christ.
Little known fact: Moses was drunk on beer when he heard voices coming from a burning bush.
While we are crediting Monks – lets not forget that no one has refined the art of fudge packing like those Catholic Monks.
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Chocolate Fudge Royale with Nuts
Those monks take their fudge packing very seriously.
http://www.brigittine.org/monks/confec0721.htm
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I love you, Stucky. I hope you’re good-looking.
Somewhere I read that there are 3 centers of the New World Order…
1. Vatican – Religion
2. City of London – Money
3. Washington DC -War
The Catholic Corporation has been involved in all of the worse events in history and on the evil side, not the good. If there is a god, he must be from the dark side of the force. They are losing power here in the Philippines and they are having a heart attack over it. Imagine, allowing someone to use condoms or plan their families or even not have kids if they so choose! How evil! (Or so the Church claims.) Mormons are in the same boat but are new comers to the game.
Stucky,
Good stuff, but I was raised a Mormon and the anti-moron stuff keeps me busy. Good rants mostly, you have to keep a straight face when talking about religion.
Here, Chicago, judge for yourself!
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Did someone say Mormon?
Chicago999444
I am a very handsome fellow, and also
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Stucky
This is a sad post ….. on so many levels.
Sure, egyptians had beer, after Joseph gave it to them to help preserve some of their corn crop. Israeli s are one of the worlds oldest civilizations. I wouldn’t fuck with God’s people, no matter how dissolusioned, Herr Stuck. Find a support group,.preferably Christian, and find God.
Nonanonymous
Thank you for your concern regarding my spiritual welfare.
In terms of fucking “with God’s people”. I have no idea what that even means.
Regarding me needing to “find God”, well … I accepted Jeebus as my personal Lord and Savior back when I was in my 20’s. I am a firm proponent of the doctrine, “Once saved, ALWAYS saved”. My own version of a Perpetual Life Insurance Policy … covered cradle to grave and beyond.
See you at the Pearly Gates.
Stuckenschitzel,
the real mental disease common to all western countries is to appear weak and divided in front of muslims.
it’s kind of strange that you waste your precious time to spew such protestant shit.
It’s clear to me that I dont give a flying fuck about the pope’s election, neither I do about the number of time they shake the pecker a day. shut the TV, problem solved.
now, it’s equally clear to me that the protestant financial world, strongly backed by the jews that (almost) control it, is currently aiming its power of destruction at all the lower catholic states of Europe. they asked the Vatican to remove the former pope, and that’s what they did…and guess what? 2 days later, the ATMs of the Vatican were allowed to function again. you have no idea of the financial war Wall Street is doing to the church.
if something like the catholic church was to collapse, it would widely help the muslims to make Europe theirs. that’s their goal, and they are very active with the Qatar and Saudis behind.
the destruction of the catholic values you deny is the first step
colonisation and creation of an ethnic majority is the second step
civil wars and extermination of Christians is the last step, like in Turkey, Bosnia, Kosovo, ect…
if the financial SOBs think they will go scott free, they’re WRONG.
if you think as an individual, that you don’t care and that it won’t splatter on your shoes, you’re WRONG.
I chose my shit
Frenchie
I just gave you a thumbs up. I don’t know why cuz I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about regarding Popes and ATMs.
I just like you. You’re like a European version of Smokey.
If you do get a thumbs down, it’s from Zara. He likes moooslims.
Stucky, thank you, thank you, thank you.
Watching and listening to the pope choosing is right up there with Sunday’s dog and pony political “news” circuit.
It makes me question my sanity.
Thanks for the smiles and camaraderie.
Nonanonymous, the Joos are working for the Protestants? Wow, the things I learn.
And finally, Stucky says, “…Little known fact: Moses was drunk on beer when he heard voices coming from a burning bush…”
Another little known fact, I read in an autobiography of FDR (been years, don’t ask which one, I really don’t know) that when Pearl Harbor was attacked, and during the time that FDR was deciding (pretending to decide) to declare/enter the war, he had a sinus infection.
Sinus infections were routinely treated by cocaine in the 40s – it opens the sinus passages.
So, odds are real good, that FDR was tweaking out of his mind on coke while deciding the fate of millions of America’s sons.
Just sayin’.
ps – please don’t tell SSS that the founding fathers also routinely grew – and used – marijuana, that much reality isn’t good for his old heart.
Stucky,
I will try to explain.
the jew state wet dream is to push muslims to attack catholics christians, and to get rid of both.
they have to give the money back for what has been done during WW2, and they have to get rid of a maximum number of muslims.
they don’t like to do the dirty job, that’s why they pretty well succeded in this task with the help of AIPAC in the US. note that they regard the protestant US majority as “allies”, but I should say proxies.
if you want the muslims to attack catholics, you have to weaken Rome’s church.
muslims always attack when they think they’re the strongest.
catholic church has roten from the inside thanks for corruption, big money, sex scandals, ect…
this has always happen thanks for “outside” help…
now that the tilting point is reached, financial sanctions directed at the Vatican’s banks equal those aimed at Iran or Syria. we’re talking about the ability to transfer money from state to state, and as a collateral consequence, to use ATMs in this area.
what wall street wants is the catholic’s gold (a huge bunch) to allow dollar to continue for a while. what others want is the church to be weaker and to appear as an easy prey unable to protect its believers. if you lose money, you lose media control and game is over.
you can check what happens today for catholics in Nigeria and other area of the world.
tomorrow it will be in Europe. muslims could be shown the exit door if it wasn’t for socialistas in Europe. but it won’t be, and I can bet on a civil war in less than 50 years with a heavy toll on both sides. guess why all medias owners and top socialistas brass are jew in my area, and why they protect muslims, allow them to do the nasty, and block the rise of far right? one stone, two birds.
see the point?
best regards.
Frenchie
Thank you for taking the time to post your response.
I do see the point.
I have relatives in Austria, which has a significant Turkish (mooslim) population. My peeps over there hate the mooslims.
Strangely enough, their chief complaint is not religious, but social. The mooslims simply refuse to assimilate … to learn the language, accept the majority customs, etc. They are “guests” of the country, but act like they are “masters”, even wanting special priviledges regular Austrians don’t have.
The response of some Austrian politicians has been to enact laws to effectively push the mooslims out of the country. The movement is still small, but growing. Nationalism and Patriotism are making a comeback. If successful, the mooslims will be toast.
TeresaE — you’re welcome.
SSS — just for you
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Stucky,
a fair percentage of the population is preparing for war at middle term.
due to how the socialist shit is poisoning minds of 1/3 of the population in France, there will no other solution than civil war.
same fate in Great Britain, but because of PC bullshit instead of socialism.
same for Germany because of very low birth rate…
dark, it will be.
Stucky, when did I ever say I like muslims. Oh that right, never.
SSS says:
“Stucky, This is a sad post ….. on so many levels.”
sometimes monsewer stuck tilts to the left, sometimes to the right. sad when he posts drunk
If they elect a pope named Peter, then it’s all over according to the Papal prophecy.
He will be “the last Pope”. I will bet anyone $100 that the next Pope elected IS named Peter.
There is not a doubt in my mind it will happen that way. After all the Matrix is preprogrammed right?
Zara
You let me believe you were a girl for a very loooong time, even when I was hitting on you.
So, I’m gonna fuck with you for a very loooong time. I’ll let you know when it’s over.
The only thing sad about this post was that it allowed no entrance to post pictures of women.
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A white puff! That means they’re smoking the good stuff:
A New Pope Is Elected
Submitted by Tyler Durden on 03/13/2013 – 14:11
Moments ago white smoke emerged from the Sistine Chapel which means that the Cardinals of the Catholic church have elected a new pope. The identity will be revealed shortly. Stocks take this as a bullish signal and hit intraday highs, and for the DJIA, new all time record highs. All is good in the world.
Stucky says:
“Zara You let me believe you were a girl for a very loooong time, even when I was hitting on you.”
same thing happened to me in panama but the adam’s apple and large hands kept putting me off. and she was taller than me. i hate that.
Another great piece, Stucky. Funny! You’re all going to Hell.
An Illegal Alien Pope??? WTF? I guess I will have to pay for my dispensation for this post in pesos
So when do we get to slam on Islam? Or are we scared to?