Guest Post by Gayle
Here’s a challenge for a Monday morning. You are planning an elegant dinner for eight. You’re the host, so seven people of your choosing are on the guest list. You are assured that anyone you invite is compelled to attend. Guests should be at least relatively well-known, and you are not limited to inviting just Americans. You can host a theme dinner (politicians, baseball players, entertainers, idiots, whatever) or you can have an eclectic mix. No TBP contributor can attend, but you may pick two to serve as wait staff if you need them.
Here is my guest list:
1. Vlad Putin – I just want to pick his brain
2. Emmylou Harris – My favorite musician of all time
3. Philip Yancy – An author whose writing about Christianity has influenced my thinking
4. Rand Paul – I want to size him up
5. Steven Spielberg – A genius I admire
6. John Perkins – I will learn a few things
7. Jill Abramson – As editor of the New York Times, she was one of the most powerful women in the world, plus I met her once when she was about 14
I will put the names of all the TBP regulars in a hat and pick two to help me out. This takes courage I know.
1. Ron Paul – an honest politician and good human being
2. Rand Paul – next president of the US
3. Putin – see if he really is evil
4. Obama – see if he is just stupid or actually evil
5. Jim Kunstler – hear him confront the others about peak cheap oil
6. Pat Buchanan – hear him confront Obama and Cheney about the warfare state
7. Dick Cheney – so I could poison his food
I’d pick Stuck and Llpoh as my waiters. Stuck knows his way around a kitchen and I’d just like to order Llpoh around for a few hours.
Do we have to choose from the living?
Having dead dinner guests might put a damper on things.
well, first of all, forget about the TBPers being waitstaff. they’d fuck everything up pretty quickly. therefore, i’d have jamie dimon and lloyd blankfein as the help. and i’d put them in leg irons. i’d kick their asses and slap them around all night long. here’s the list:
1. antonin scalia (i bet that guy can party)
2. mickey rourke (party animal)
3. george miller (of mad max fame–he’s australian–of course he parties)
4. mario batali (he hates bankers also–and he can party–he can drink 4 bottles of booze in one sitting)
5. rick santelli (hates central bankers, don’t know if he parties)
6. gerard depardieu (can you say party hardy?)
7. stephen king (hate his politics, but that guy used to party)
Pick me! Pick me! I’m not interesting to talk to, but free food tastes better than anything else.
I woud make Stucky eat in the kitchen at the little table with Clammy and secretly record the fireworks for the main room’s entetanment. I would be curious to see what Hardscrabble had to say in the big room. I would go back for seconds on the hamburger helper and marshmellow jello.
Adriana Lima
Kate Upton
The dude from Blues Traveler (to make me look better by comparison)
I bet this dinner would get out of hand.
—
GRIM REAPER: Shut up! Shut up, you American. You always talk, you Americans. You talk and you talk and say ‘let me tell you something’ and ‘I just wanna say this’. Well, you’re dead now, so shut up!
HOWARD: Dead?
GRIM REAPER: Dead.
ANGELA: All of us?
GRIM REAPER: All of you.
GEOFFREY: Now, look here. You barge in here, quite uninvited, break glasses, and then announce, quite casually, that we’re all dead. Well, I would remind you that you are a guest in this house, and– [whock] Ah! Oh.
GRIM REAPER: Be quiet! Englishmen, you’re all so fucking pompous, and none of you have got any balls.
DEBBIE: Can I ask you a question?
GRIM REAPER: What?
DEBBIE: How can we all have died at the same time?
[Dramatic Chord]
GRIM REAPER: The salmon mousse.
I’d have Obama sitting between Dinesh D’Souza and Vlad Putin. David Stockmen would be sitting next to Janet Yellen. Ron Paul would be sitting next to Holder.
Stucky would be my cook and just for shit eating grins I’d have Clammy making the salad. ( I won’t be having any salad).
Stucky gets to choose who has the colon blow-out Wendy’s burger special.
“I’d pick Stuck and Llpoh as my waiters. Stuck knows his way around a kitchen …” —-Admin
I’ll make sure your salad is covered with Stucky’s Special Happy Sauce.
Except for Ron Paul I don’t think I’d want any of these fuckers in my house or on my property let alone actually serve them anything. What they think or have to say is not important as we all know what they do. How soon they are all pushing up daises is whats important.
@T4C: I just got to ask.. Did you pose for that iconic picture? It’s lovely. Much, much better than my ‘lil red boots!
MA
Thomas Sowell (intellectual, since William F. Buckley is dead)
Clint Eastwood (actor)
Naomi Wolf (feminist, activist–need a hot woman)
Alex Jones (general trouble maker)
Chuck Baldwin (Constitution Party)
Chris Matthews (to get trampled by the conservatives)
Jim Quinn (blogger extraordinaire-perhaps not that well known, but should be!)
Well, I’m gonna go the eclectic route;
Politics: Obama, so I can kick him in the nuts multiple times.
MSM: Megcunt Kelly, so I can kick her in the vagina multiple times.
Educators: My 8th grade gym teacher, Mr. Law, for looking the other way when the jockfuk assholes tormented me for wearing boxer-shorts, and so I could shit in his mouth.
Religion: The Pope, I’d ask him why he brushed the Priest Boyfuk Scandal under the rug, and then I’d take him to Rahway State Prison to be ass fucked for 40 days and nights
Sports: Tom Cream, IU basketball coach, so I can ask him why he can’t play against the zone, why he’s can’t get decent bigs, and so I can kick him in the ass.
Entertainment #1: Dolly Parton. I’m a boobs man. ‘nuff said.
Entertainment #2: Linda Lovelace. I like other body parts. ‘nuff said.
Sarah Palin
Al Sharpton
Jesse Jackson
Ted Nugent
Nigel Farage
Marine le Pen
Elizabeth Warren
TE to provide eye candy, and Billy for crowd control.
Seven walk in, I think 4 make it out.
Ted Nugent–that’s a good choice, llpoh!
Vox Day
Ron Paul
James Quinn
Lew Rockwell
Laurence Vance
Thomas DiLorenzo
Theodore Dalrymple
Karl Denninger
Ralph Raico
I invited a bonus guest..so sue me..
BTW loopy will appreciate this humor..and if he doesn’t …who cares
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Dalai Lama
Allen Bean (I’d prefer Armstrong or Conrad but they have left the building.)
Genghis Khan
Benny Parsons (not for his professional ability but for his quiet and sincere kindness)
Albert Einstein
Salma Hayek
+both of my grandfathers because I never got to know them
I forgot to add Kelly Johnson.
Damn. Some of you people are really dense. The rules were;
1 — No DEAD people
2 — No TBPers
Nice job dumbshits (you know who you are)
Neil Young
Derek Jeter
Robert Duvall
Kate Upton
Jennifer Lawrence
Terry Bradshaw
Louis CK
Dinner would be served around a campfire, next to a hot tub for the girls, by Stucky and AWD. There would be lots of stories and lots of fun, no politics and no doom, not that night.
Sofia Vergara, Isabel Pantoja, La Tetanic, BB and ISKA.
See lots of the above I like.
Also, how about Paul Craig Roberts.
My Dad
My two brothers
My best friend
Admin
2 other golfing buddies/friends tbd…and two niggers waiting on us…Obama & Holder!
2 — No TBPers
what a sourpuss
Stuck just pissed cuz’ nobody invited he nor his soul-mate Clammy o sit at the main table..
Stucky says:
“Damn. Some of you people are really dense. The rules were;
1 — No DEAD people”
I can’t help it if I’d prefer to meet dead people to living people. I’ve never been a big fan of celebrity.