Warning: This story might ruin your breakfast… forever.
A man in Wales recently picked up some bananas at a Tesco supermarket which turned out to be infested with spiders that can both kill you and give you a massive erection.
His wife opened the bag to find a cocoon of Brazilian Wandering Spiders (aka banana spiders) which are known to scurry around on the ground at night and hide in banana plants during the day.
They are considered the “world’s most venomous spider” by Guinness World Records, although there is an anti-venom available so not as many people die from their bites. Their bites have also been known to cause painful erections lasting several hours, and they are being studied as a potential Viagra alternative.
The cocoon started to hatch soon after she made the horrifying discovery.
“The spider cocoon started to unfurl so I put it in a sealed box and put it in the freezer as I read that that is supposed to kill them,” she said.
She then posted the photos to Tesco’s Facebook page for answers. The company told her to just mail in the wrapper so she could get a refund, but she was more concerned with not being attacked by the 8-legged killers than getting a few bucks back.
Tesco eventually asked her to bring the fruit back to the store so they could be investigated.
“We’ve apologized to Mrs. Layton and offered a gesture of goodwill,” a spokesperson said according to Yahoo.
A woman in England recently found a strange stowaway in her can of tuna fish, which turned out to be a tiny crab.
So now you can add bananas and tuna to the list of foods you are too terrified to ever eat again
Chinese website Taobao sold this dress, made famous by actor Jaime Alexander. People who ordered it, however, found the design to be… somewhat lacking. As always, you get what you pay for!
The Akron, Ohio Police Department is in a desperate search to find this car-ty pooper. Apparently he’s left his gifts inside or on top of 19 different vehicles, occasionally even opening unlocked vehicles in order to do so.
Truly, we live in benighted times.
This is why SSS golfs in Arizona
From the Smoking Gun:
A trio of teenage burglars who stole cash, jewelry, electronics, and prescription drugs from a Missouri residence also thought they got away with a stash of c0caine they found in a wooden box, only to later discover that the powder was actually the cremated remains of the homeowner’s father, police report.
Upon determining that they were not, in fact, in possession of c0caine, the teens discarded the remains out the window of their getaway car. One of the burglars actually tasted the powder and realized it was not a controlled substance.
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See more at the Fail Blog
Why are naturally occurring situations news?
OMG, there are bugs in our crops! The farking HORROR!
I fully expect 50% of Europeans and Americans to die of starvation if food ever stops being displayed in plastic-wrapped Utopia.
The real threat from bananas is that we have been enjoying ONE strain of them for 100 years. It will only take ONE pest, or ONE disease, and the banana will disappear.
I wish this was the only situation where the need for conformity has left us on the verge of despair.
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I ran a nail all the way through my shoe and foot one day when I was about 7. Mom was out so I told dad and he ran an alcohol soaked q-tip all the way through the hole to clean it out. That was literally the last time I ever went to dad with a medical issue or injury. Healed up just fine though!
IndenturedServant – that’s funny.
That’s the coochie cleaner principle at work, drill and fill, good to go.
My little brother spiked himself to an old board when he was a kid… we were tramping around the woods and high grass behind the house when he screams… stepped on an old board with a 16 penny nail sticking out. Spiked his shoe – and the board – right to his foot. All the way through and out the top of his foot…
Daddy came running, grabs my brother and carries my brother all the way back up to the house at a dead run… the board fell off along the way. Got home and removed his shoe – his sock was red with blood to the ankle. Oops.. not good. Off to the hospital they go…
They patched him up just fine at the hospital. Tetanus shot and a couple round bandaids after hosing out the wound…