Please come up with a really retarded petition which not even Mark Dice can get people to sign.
Based on “Back in PA Mike” who said in today’s Brown House thread — “It’s getting so hard for him to come up with something stupid enough that people won’t support. Maybe it can’t be done.”
I might even email them to Mr. Dice.
Don’t be “shy” with your ideas.
Here’s an idea NOBODY would ever approve:
How about a bill or a law or company of some kind that would harvest parts of unborn babies for resale to the medical community?
That idea is SO abhorrent, no sane person could ever approve of or agree to.
Oh, wait…………
Abandon hope, all ye who enter here.
A petition to outlaw the growing of corn or importing corn or corn products into the U.S.
Since corn is used in most food items we consume, any signers will be putting themselves into starvation mode.
A petition to change the name of America to “Moronica” because the old name is just outdated and no longer reflects the American people. The new name would be better suited to fit the devolution of our country.
An Executive Order (intentionally not a law!) declaring that the name of the country is now “The United Socialist States of America” and suspending any provisions of the Constitution that interfere with our rightful socialist system.
A bill to send all Euro-Americans back to their original homelands, entitled to 40 acres there and a mule.
(N.B. depending which country I chose as my “homeland”, 40 acres there could be worth more than I have now.)
A petition to go back to a monarchy because the election of presidents and CONgress have just become too expensive and time consuming. The Constitutional form of government just no longer works for us and the Consttitution is outdated, (Never mind that that is what we were fleeing when this country was founded)
“Studies have shown that our Canadian neighbours to the north only have a black/african population of less than 3% of their total demographic make up. This is suspiciously low by American standards and points to a political policy of racism that is endemic in the Canadian immigration and political system. President Obama has requested that we send troops to Ottawa to secure the cooperation of their politicians in an investigation ( headed by the US Alphabet Soup Agency of your choice) of their obvious racist immigration policies.”
I think he should ask people to sign a petition to require the federal government to issue a check in the amount of $100,000 yearly to each individual in the United States in the interest of fairness.
And the justification for this would be that since the federal government has the right to print money, or to have the Federal Reserve print money, it would not cost the United States anything to implement this
A petition to move DC to Alaska because the present location has too much black crime and the murder rate is too high and blacks won’t move to Alaska to continue the criminal activity because they hate really cold climates.
GOVRUNAMUCK- I would sign that petition , if we eliminate entitlement programs,SS and the cost of 800 military bases and ENDLESS WAR, your plan would actually save us money. At least it would be FAIR in that everyone would get a check. If money can be conjured out of thin air, then freakin conjure us ALL some of that fake ass money.
“I think he should ask people to sign a petition to require the federal government to issue a check in the amount of $100,000 yearly to each individual in the United States in the interest of fairness.” ———— GovtRunAmuck
Fuck yeah!!! STUCKY would sign that in a heartbeat!!
Bea
I just love that “Moronica” idea.
Invading Canada sounds like fun, too.
Please help Obama to force the FDA to approve Soylent Green by signing this petition. Soylent Green: it’s good for the environment, and OK for you.
Charlton Heston approves this message.*
* Not really.
Stucky- HELL YEAH, I can be bought for the right price. I would be a huge cheerleader for the Fed if they would “share the wealth” instead of giving it to the .0001%. Yellen would be my new favorite Joo.
Ten bucks says Llpoh would move back to the USA!USA!USA! if they started handing out checks for 100K.
Bea, this was always advertised when I was in AZ…
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Raise the minimum wage to $200/hour. That way, you’d only have to work a few hours a week to have a “living wage”.
Not that unreasonable, just had a plumber here for 40 minutes and that’s what he charged.
PA Mike
That is priceless, OMG.
The best Mark Dice petition I’ve seen was one that wasn’t even done by Mark Dice. It was on the Man Show with Jimmy Kimmel and Adam Carolla.
They had a nice table and sign on a busy street corner urging people to sign up to end women’s suffrage. They got women to sign it. Corolla kept saying “Yeah, those gals have suffered enough”.
Some funny shit here … like the $200/hr ……..BUT, the idea ws to get people to NOT sign the petition.
For example; “The Post Office is struggling to stay afloat. Please sign this petition to make a first clamp stamp $20.”
=======================================
The post office on Monday reported a net loss of $586 million this spring.
HOWEVER ….
Fredric Rolando, president of the National Association of Letter Carriers, said the results represent an impressive “turnaround continuing in full force.” The group cites the $1.2 billion in “controllable” net income for the first three-quarters of the year. Controllable income excludes certain factors including a requirement that the Postal Service prefund retiree health benefits.
The operating losses during the third quarter aren’t unusual, and “it doesn’t change the fact that 2015 is turning into one of the USPS’ most impressive annual performances since the Great Recession,” he said in a statement.
ONLY IN DUMBFUK ‘MURIKA …. can an annualized TWO BILLION DOLLAR loss be a cause for orgasmic joy.
@Stucky, USPS is a bad example because it has to use a unique and horrible method of accounting thanks to Republicans wanting to kill it off. I’m not an accountant but from what I understand, by law USPS records all future liabilities, including employee and retiree health care, as a current liability on its balance sheet. Many large private businesses would be insolvent under this method, and ALL of government would be as well. It’s just an accounting trick to try and force USPS out of business because some Republican believes that UPS/Fedex will suddenly take over and do everything better at half the cost.
Give California back to the Mexicans, and then we won’t have a problem with illegal immigration
Oh this challenge is to good to resist. How about this.
Ask people if they would be willing to sign a petition banning the distribution, sales and household use of H2O as scientists have now proved that it is a major contributor to global warming.
If they gave California back to Mehico, all the Americans there would become illegal aliens & Mehico doesn’t tolerate illegals. Hilariously, they’d probably kick all the Americans out!
We like gringos.
1. Now if he put some liquid hand soap on a soup spoon and tried to sell it as baby batter to dykes.
2. My buddy said his friend would regularly put on an African tunic and collect money for passage to the motherland.
3. My son’s friend would take a lollipop out of his mouth and offer to sell it to the tourists on Hollywood Blvd for $1.
I don’t see what the big deal is what with uh little blood flow from the cooter hole runnin down yer leg. Our half lab don’t mind uh little extra iron in his diet if you git my drift, and ever time Billy sees it he starts singing ‘she’s mah cherry pie’ which is about as romantic as he gits.
I think people should sign a petition fer free wall cleaning fer families with a son that constantly rubs his shit everywhere.
AC they could make that Soylent Green out of expired baby parts. That way nothing would go to waste.
Stuck, aren’t you just a little afraid of the answers to some of these questions?
Speaking of cooter holes, Stuck, no more mention of the Shitfest in the Shithole?
https://youtu.be/5fP2Rg8K5b8