Guest Post by Stilton Jarlsberg
In what is quite possibly the most delightful news story Hope n’ Change has read in years, Socialist presidential candidate Bernie “Share the wealth” Sanders had to involuntarily share (and eventually forfeit) the stage with idiotic protestors who commandeered his microphone.
Before we dive into the actual events – which are so delicious that we don’t have to make up anything – let’s all take a deep relaxing breath so we can truly savor each delightful detail of this hilarious fustercluck. Ready?
It all began in Seattle, the very Mecca of Liberalism, where Bernie Sanders was scheduled to speak to (in the words of the Huffington Post) a “massive” rally of dozens of liberals, staged by a group called the Social Security Works Coalition. The event was a celebration of entitlement services, complete with a tacky cardboard birthday cake – presumably in commemoration of the many years that people have been getting taxpayer-funded cake.
Sanders took to the microphone and drew cheers when he thanked Seattle “for being one one of the most progressive cities in the state!” Which turned out to be his last word on that or any other subject because the microphone was quickly snatched out of his hands by protestors from Black Lives Matter.
Activist (we’d never use the word “extremist”) Mara Johnson then accused the alleged crowd of covering themselves in “white supremacist liberalism” and demanded four and a half agonizing minutes of silence to mark the sad one-year anniversary of violent cigar thief Michael Brown becoming a speed bump in Ferguson, Missouri.
The crowd, albeit annoyed and whining, actually did exactly what Johnson told them to do because white liberals would rather burst into flames than challenge a black person, even one who’s disrupting a public event. Which is why, following the period of silence, Johnson launched into a seemingly endless tirade against racism and other perceived injustices.
Eventually, showing the strength and resolve which he would no doubt bring to the Oval Office, Sanders simply slinked away from the event without saying another word.
The event’s organizers were disappointed but, being Seattle liberals, had praise for the “courage” of the Black Lives Matter protestors.
Frankly, Hope n’ Change thinks that the activists (who no doubt showed up on a bus funded by the Clinton Family Foundation) should have set their sights a bit higher and grabbed a microphone from Barack Obama to protest this horribly unfair and racist nation.
Unfortunately, that wasn’t an option – because the president is in Martha’s Vineyard kicking off his multi-million dollar #BlackVacationsMatter campaign.
“BlackVacationsMatter campaign” – it was this stupendous ending that brought it all together.
To me, the unseen story here is: “With this opposition, how can the Republicans lose?”
But of course, they do lose. Because they have no idea what we really need and really want from our “leadership” (haha).
Time after time they trot out some pathetic asshole of a white stiff, who mouths a bunch of platitudes and the electorate yawn and stay home in droves. (except for the Free Shit Army, of course)
Last time the “people” said:” Hey let’s try a black dude”, and this time they’ll probably say “Hey, it’s Hills’s turn”.
It’s a fucking Gong Show.
Don’t denigrate the Gong Show like that!
Bernie is a POS, but he’s in good company. ALL of the contenders are POS whores, both repukes and demoturds. The Marxist-Leninists dems make policy and the GOP rubberstamps it by not opposing or overturning anything.
We working class proles are waaaay past the time when voting mattered. Just accept the suck and plan accordingly. To anyone who suggests that my belief is akin to ‘just giving up’, here’s a clue for you. We proles gave up decades ago when we stood by and watched all our factory jobs go bye-bye. We didn’t do shit about the patriot act, the illegal wars, the total unaccountability of .gov on anything.
You know who riots? the FSA. Works for them!
As far as Bernie? Of course he won’t get in. He’s just a foil against Hitlery to show a Marxist-Leninist who is just slightly more communist then that bitch is. Hitlery will be the President of the FUSA, bet on it. You know how this’ll work? Here’s how I see it played out:
The Donald will continue be popular with the working class. The GOP will continue to marginalize him at every turn. Gradually, the MSM will simply stop reporting on anything Donald says or does. So next Donald will, reluctantly and with regret, start a third party campaign. Suddenly, Donald will be in the news again, big time. The Donald will torpedo the GOP in the election, and Hitlery is in. The GOP will blame Donald and it will be all wrapped up in a nice neat bow.
Problem-reaction-solution.
Problem: How do we get an even bigger traitorous Marxist into the White House after the Coon?
Reaction: Set up the classic and time-tested “Dark Horse” candidate bullshit.
Solution: Hitlery is in, but it’s nobody’s fault, least of all the gallant GOP who did their best.
Aftermath: Donald gets first dibs on developing Central Park for high end condos. Or something equally terrible.
The GOP gets to continue to benefit from unlimited immigration so they have a fresh supply of cheap labor, and not be blamed for destroying our culture.
The Demo-Marxist get ‘MurikaFuckYeah! and will continue, with the blessings of the GOP, to destroy everything White people ever stood for, and our culture, and our livelihoods, and, in the end, our lives.
That picture is as funny as the 1 from the FOX news story. Ritz or saltine, never heard that 1 before. Politics has become funnier in reality than the Onion fake stories.