The following exchange took place on the “Authorship” thread yesterday:
— “Question of the day …. It seemed like it only took Stucky two seconds to horn in on the idea which is, IMO, pretty fucked up.” ———Indentured Servant
— “Fine. I’m done with them. …. “How real men become pussies on the internet” … self-explanatory. I’ll dedicate one chapter to I_S.” ———- Stucky
— “Stuck, if you quit over one criticism, Chapter One should be about you.” —- EL Chorizo
— Llpoh posts a box of fucking tissues.
Yesterday I took my dad shopping to Aldi. I park. We shop We come back to the car. The car on the passenger side is parked so close that dad couldn’t get the door open wide enough to get in. I back out. He gets in. I start to go. He says, “Schtop!”. OK. “Gif me a pencil und paper.” OK. “LEARN HOW TO PARK YOU SONOFABITCH!” (in caps and in perfect English). Nice “Put it on zee vindshield.” Yeah, whatever. Our next stop is the German butcher, not far away. On the way back he says, “Let’s go beck to Aldi’s”. I inquire, “Oh, did you forget something?” Ummm, “Nein! If that car iz shtill there I vill put the note on zee car meinself!!”. Dad is a feisty 91.
We get home. Maybe mom will make more sense. One of my mom’s still living friends which she’s know since nineteen fucking sixty eight hasn’t stopped by in over two weeks. I offer to call Hilde (actual name) to see what’s going on. Mom says, “Nein. She’s crazy in the head ….”, and then starts telling me a story about this crazy in the head woman. A story that happened in nineteen fucking seventy one!!!
My sister hasn’t talked to me since dad’s car accident a couple months ago. Apparently, I said something in the hospital that pissed her off. She’s 50.
The Stucky Family Greeting
I come from a looong line of thin-skinned Krauts. It’s amazing we’re all still alive. You all should pray for us, especially me.
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I read much here about how great some of you are. “That’s niiice” (remember that joke?) It seems everybody here is like the couple below; handsome, beautiful, fit, trim, smart, young and rich.
So, the getting-to-know-you inquiry (not, question) of the day is; which ONE thing is your weakness, or to put it another way, you just don’t like about yourself? It should be the type of thing that might have held you back in your career, socially, or even in close relationships.
You know mine. I spilled my guts. Don’t fucken piss me off. Now spill yours.
I’d have to say my ability to say what’s on my mind. What you see (and hear) is what you get. I can be my own worst enemy that way. I’m not out looking to piss anyone off but I’m not gonna piss on your head and tell you it’s raining. When I was younger it might have held me back some but now that I’m older, I don’t really care. I marvel at the way simple, honest statements repel people. It’s like moron repellent. I don’t look at it as a weakness though.
It pisses me off that people cant or won’t say what’s on their mind. Everyone puttin’ on airs. My best friend cracks me up because when I’m being a bit harsh he’ll say so and my response is always “would you rather I lie to you?” and he always answers “oh fuck no!”. I’d love it if everyone dealt with each other that way.
My one weakness I don’t like about myself is that I’m a fat fuk. I’m just lazy I suppose. I quit drugs with no problem at all in 1993. I quit smoking in 1999 with no real effort. I gave up serious drinking (getting drunk) in 1991. I’ve diligently saved money putting off all sorts of wants in the present in expectation of getting to a place like llpoh has achieved but losing weight is a bitch. It’s a mental hurdle I’ve yet to clear.
Apart from that, I’m a happy man. Life is good. I have no real reason to bitch about anything other than TPTB.
I absolutely hate being ordered around whether i was 3yo or 30yo, explain and ask and if it makes sense ill do what i can to make it happen, if its stupid ill tell you or the look on my face will portray my thoughts. Doesnt matter if its my parents or the prez of the company i work(ed) for, has definitely hindered my career and caused the loss of friendships.
I also hold grudges and often escalate tense situations when i am not worried about my well being (or drunk).
I also have the car modding bug, id have more savings if i didnt spend time and money tinkering with my multiple cars.
I may be a tad bit stubborn.
I realize the request was for one, but fuckit, i am bored sitting in a doc’s office.
None of your damn business what are my weaknesses.
My only comment regarding that is that people are born with their personalities; optimists have more fun, pessimists are usually better informed. I’m a glass-half-empty person, putting me in the latter group.
That said, my wife and I *absolutely* look like the couple in the photo on the beach. My kids are socially-adept rocket scientists, their wives are sweet, attractive and intelligent young ladies and my granddaughter is too charming for words.
No, I didn’t get a blue ribbon for showing up. No, I don’t believe in living in Unicorn Land, secure in my delusions (remember, glass-half-empty.) Yes, I am arrogant about my family.
Yes, I try to make myself a better person today than I was yesterday.
And no, I don’t compare myself or my life to those of others. Most people are of the masses, and their lives and behaviors are irrelevant to me, almost to the point that they are a different species and watching them is like watching the circus on Monkey Island.
Okay, I waste too much time commenting on blogs and when I comment, I write way too much.
(I expect 1000 “thumbs up” on this one.)
I’m an only child and am used to doing things on my own. Our homestead growing up was in the country on 30 acres so we didn’t have traditional neighbors. I was ahead of my class and almost always the leader in school on group projects, receiving mostly A’s and occasionally B’s. I preferred studying in my room instead of in a group at the library. I excelled at an individual sport (tennis). I was the founder, president, captain, leader, or director of religious, political, business, and academic associations at various times. In the working world I’ve preferred individual assignments instead of team projects. You could say I’m an individualist and it’s served me well.
I’m single and have gone on plenty of dates, but haven’t connected with someone to the point where I’d want to share the rest of my life with them. I’m wise enough not to settle or become a parent in the meantime. That said, I’m hoping to walk through the next chapter (and rest of my life) with a decent woman. My parents have been married 45 years and I admire them for that. To give back to them after all they gave to me, after working for several years for the family business after college I used the skills in getting my MBA to sell their business so my parents could have a comfortable retirement. I’ve served as the interim director for two local non-profits since and caught up on traveling (Israel, England, and California among others) after living a pretty focused life. I’m selling my house and close on it in two weeks, having lived here for 9 years on my own. I’m looking forward to a new place, a new career, a new adventure… and a partner to walk through life. I’ve succeeded on my own, but more than anything I’d like to share future successes with someone special.
Oh, and here at 55, after a career characterized by honest success (not the resume-padding “I won every work contest bull) and degrees in microbiology and biology (don’t get me started on dumb ideas) I’m both unemployed and in all likelihood unemployable.
So I’m slightly bitter.
“None of your damn business what are my weaknesses.” ——– dc.sunsets
LOL. But …. but …. but ……… it’s one of THE most “popular” job interview questions!
“My weakness is dealing with dumfuk questions from cocksuckers like you!!” …. isn’t that how we ALL would like to answer that question? That and, “Where do you see yourself in 5 years?”. “Ummmm, being in a position to fire your skank ass, that’s where!”
Stucky, it definitely makes me angry when the clowns with whom I interview think they’re the smartest people in every room they enter.
Especially since, in any room I already occupy, that couldn’t possibly be true.
(grin)
Only one? Hmmmm. Okay, I won’t listen to bullshit – especially political correctness, without straight up letting my feelings on the matter be known. People might chuckle, but they’re usually the cowardly fucks that stab you in the back…..for me, as a business owner it becomes a financial wound that won’t heal.
I’m almost always right. Some people find that annoying. Stupid people – which is most of them.
Insecurity and know-it-allness.
That’s just wack.
“Where do you see yourself in 5 years?”
“Sitting on my deck with a cup of coffee (AM), glass of iced tea (afternoon) or long-island iced tea (late afternoon or evening), not worrying about having to show up to work in some nausea-inducing industry like this the next day or any day, or ever having to knuckle-under to people like you who are poster children for the Peter Principle as it slams into Dunning-Kruger.”
Maybe it’s not that surprising I’m unemployed.
Instead, I’m semi-retired after a career working for people who (all joking aside, apologies for the arrogance) were undoubtedly 10-30% dumber than me, the 2nd half of my career calling on customers (physicians) many if not most of whom were STILL dumber than me, Dunning-Kruger still applying in that field.)
I sure as hell don’t miss that.
I hate knowing we are doomed as a nation .Most people I talk to have no idea the destruction we face and that really gets on my nerves.
Physically I hate losing my good looks.
bb
Would you …ummm …. help me with my package? It’s too big a job to handle alone.
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My weakness is wasting too much time on websites like this.
I have a hot temper when someone pisses me off. It can go off like a nuclear bomb but clears quickly. I also don’t care about other people’s opinions of me. When it comes to flight or fight mode, I usually fight (at least verbally) I am not adverse to using words that people label profanity. I also come from a long line of stubborn Germans.
Holy Shit!!! I think a ***warning*** should accompany T4C’s post, as there is a full frontal view of Double Dick Dude’s weenies. Talk about doppleganging!!
From the article …
“One man who has two fully-functional penises goes by DiphallicDude (or DoubleDickDude, which morphed into DDD), as he is committed to keeping his real identity private. He is an American man in his mid-20s, living out on the East Coast. Beyond that, not much is known about who he really is.”
I nominate Admin.
T4C
I MUST know …. what kind of search did you do to find Double Dick Dude ….. and, WHY?
I’m overly suspicious. Because it’s 2015 and the world is getting stranger and stranger I won’t volunteer personal information to a bunch of strangers I’ve never met even though I like the blog and find the people who post interesting.
Does DDD get double his pleasure from dueling blowjobs? Inquiring minds want to know.
You have the right to remain silent, anything you say, can and will be used against you in the next shit fest.
DDD is a two-fisted masturbater. Stucky has some competition.
T4C- Does there exist a female with double vaginny? If so, are there photos to prove it?
Too many to list..beginning with lazy, arrogant, narcissistic, cowardly, introverted nihilist.
I am told I have my good points as well.
We are very complicated beings with myriad characteristics, moods and each possessing a vast (infinite?) subconscious and imagination.
“Compared to the dullest human being actually walking about on the face of the earth and casting his shadow there, the most brilliantly drawn character in a novel is but a bag of bones.”
Yet we just LOVE to put people we don’t know, never have and will never meet into tiny little boxes?
See…I am in the mood to wax philosophic today. 🙂
I jerk off just like the rest of you fellows…
often and in PRIVATE.
Leave me alone.
This is turning into an educational site. Who knew?
DDD?
Old news. Doubt you’re interested, but author Phillip Jose Farmer wrote an entertaining short story called “JC on the Dude Ranch” where it turns out DDD’s oddity is shared by both Beelzebub and JC himself.
Farmer had a novel (pun intended) take on what one might do if so equipped.
Stucky, thumbs up on the photo of Christopher Cantwell, he hates copfuks too!
Bea, don’t know about the double-v, but maybe the guy can do DP all by himself.
What I hate about myself is being short and not good looking. Yeah, it’s a genetic lottery, and you play the hand you were dealt, I accept it. But putting up with bullshit from other guys because you know they can kick your ass in a fight; don’t even bother trying to ask out the hot chicks; it hasn’t been a blast. On the plus side, I do have an IQ four SD above the norm, so it’s not all bad.
T4C- Any photos of the double vaginny would be like 9/11……an inside job. Just curious if DV is side to side or stacked one on top of the other.
Stuck I dont think there is any non~dysfunctional families anymore and thats what me no like about myself / fambly.
I assume everyone knows the same things I do.
Cussing.
If you lie to me, we are done.
People parking crooked really make you wonder about how they do other things in life.Like do they give a shit about anything. I have to hold back from doing bad stuff to their car. Like using it for target practice. If you are going to do something do it well.
I bet about half the people in my small town are getting ready for when the SHTF.
Is there a fooking POINT to your endless drivel? Otherwise ust save it for your psychotherapy sessions!
i guess it would be my tendency to despair due to 2 handicapped children , never seen either condition in anybody in my family ever . so no grandkids for me ( takes the wind outta me a lot actually ,if there is a god then he/she/it decided my line ends with me . at my age ,49, in really excellent shape , last doctor visit said I was physically in my 30s , there is no possibility of starting over due to children circumstances . doenst matter if im a good guy bad guy or a combo of both im the end of my line . and I understand not airing personal stuff on the internet , but this seems a fair exchange for the pleasure ive had from this website and the personalities here )) the free speech component gets my absolute thumbs up . Not looking for pity or any condecsion fuck I cant spell lol and to llpoh I agree with the parenting thing , but sometimes … …. it aint just that ((((
I’m too impatient with stupid people and especially ignorant right-wing bible thumpers who’ve never read any other book and get 100% of their news from “Fox”.
A good example was the KABOOM shitfest last week.
The only real trouble I have had is with female bosses…just could not follow their orders. My bad, but, at least I do follow (mostly) the wife’s directives..(abet with much under the breath grumbling).
Well I’d say the main one is that I tend to be shy. I’ve fought hard to overcome it but I’ll always have that side.
to me It seems a waste of time to share such things , It Is a search for a common core of humanity ,correct? these master insult blaster fest’s. An, I’ll show you mine if you show me yours, I wasnt surprised when the comments digressed into sexual territory, As to set the boundries of how we are all made of the same shiz and you will choose one out of the group to be the most candid and unabashedly unashamed of their human condition! getting to know weaknesses and strengths is totally human tribalism . I need to know who will watch my back when the shtf! but on these sites opening up as you put it can be monitored by a billion of others who as someone just put it ,” they observe the people of the masses as if they were of another species ! Always , it never fails , cultism is always established the same way, but theif you keep going down this same path your all goin to need a deprogrammert to break the spell! “No one is perfect , not even me! Ha! Ha! Their is only one who is! So, on comparing I suggest don’t get started ! Warning the following words contain extreme judeo christian biblical verse and may be offensive to some. Reader beware continue reading at your on risk!
“If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.” “We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise.”
” Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men; and the weakness of God is stronger than men”.
“For you see your calling, brethren, how that not many wise men after the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called:
But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty;
And base things of the world, and things which are despised, hath God chosen, yea, and things which are not, to bring to nought things that are:
That no flesh should glory in his presence.”
Stuck – yes, I posted the tissues, you thin skinned bastard.
But I also ripped IS a new one, too, for flapping his pie hole. Notice you did not mention that.
As for me, my major flaw is I am too fucking kind- hearted.
Seriously, you fuckers.
I have a forum hit and run habit.
/salute!
Stuck, wow, where would I start? Well, since many of y’all have been reading me for years, you can probably guess my #1 weakness, my mouth/expressing myself. I’ve been working on shutting it for my whole life. Still working on it.
It feels sometimes like I’m nothing but a big (well, little, I’m little, maybe that is a weakness?) weakness.
Then I realize it’s just my childhood programming & some bad marriages talking.
And cussing, dear gawd the cussing. Years and years ago (probably like 28 yrs), my dad and I were working on my POS Mustang during a blizzard/deep freeze. We had a foot of snow in the road/driveway, then the temps dropped to below freezing, and he and I were out changing the alternator (for the 2nd time). It was my turn to risk my fingers to freezing, and I was tightening the bolts that dad’s big ham hands couldn’t get to. Wrench slipped, I took off 3 or 4 inches of skin across three fingers and let out a string of obscenities that would have put me in the hospital just a few short years earlier. Instead of beating my ass or popping me in the mouth, dad just turned to me laughing and said, “I had no idea I’d raised a sailor!”
As a young lady I ran mainly with the neighborhood boys, playing poker & Euchre, working on motors & everything else, going hunting, then as a working girl landing gigs in bars and factories and auto repair shops, by the time I was 20 my mouth was downright obscene.
Thankfully, I’d learned to dial it down, a bit, before going to work in an accounting office. I’ve never accepted a job offered by an easily wounded self-professed Christian. I just know that wouldn’t end well for either of us…
Even my darling daughter made me promise to “work on my swearing,” before the birth of my grandgift. She said that the Nana couldn’t be the one to teach HER baby niece to cuss. When I pointed out that she didn’t cuss, she said, “well, yeah, but I’m a really good kid, we don’t know what she’ll be!”
Thanks Stuck, enjoyable discussion.
Stuck- Where did you get that picture of me and the misses at the beach??
I hate technology and don’t suffer it or fools lightly.
I was too nice, even handed and respectful to the undeserving my whole life. The undeserving includes some co-workers, most bosses, most girl friends, some neighbors and miscellaneous strangers.
I was a dreamer and had a childish passion for “what’s right”, “the way things oughta be” and the idea of family, race and country. Now I see all that as buffoonery and a waste of time and heartbreak for me in this fucked up culture.(Yeah, I know…boofuckinghoo on me).
You can see why I was a survivalist for so many years. I dreamt of something good rising from the proverbial ashes after the destruction of this shitstorm I call ‘MurikaFuckYeah!
It was not to be. Boo-hoo.
I open my heart, spill my innermost weakness to youse all, and what do I get for it? Thumbs downed, that is what.
See – I am too kindhearted, and what I get in return is disrespect.
So, those of you giving me thumbs down for sharing my innermost secret –
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“Getting to know you #1”? Is this a series? If so can the next installment be “which poster would you most like to punch in the mouth”?
I am a procrastinator. On my desk I have a quote from the Chinese Yellow Emperor, 4th Century B.C: “Maintaining order rather than correcting disorder is the ultimate principle of wisdom.”
I put it up to help me keep up on my paperwork. It hasn’t worked very well I HATE PAPERWORK!
I ponder the quote a lot and have come to realize it is a great truth affecting every area of life.
I don’t have enough confidence in myself. I know I have paid a price for this.
I’m a classic introvert, and I can tolerate a bunch of aimless small talk for about 10 minutes before my eyes glaze over.
I could make quite a list but will spare you.
” .. getting to know weaknesses and strengths is totally human tribalism” — nowherebrain
No, tribalism is me wanting to smash your face in with a thousand blows from a jagged rock, to see you bleed and cry, then taking a knife and cutting open your guts, pulling out your intestines, tying them around your neck, and choking out your pathetic remaining life.
You mock human interaction …. and then you have the audacious stupid ignorance to quote Bible verses … cuz, you know, God also hates it when humans act human against each other.
This is why I hate hate HATE Bibe thumperfuks like yourself. You worthless scum piece of shit.
I would seriously like to practice some tribalism on your faggot ass You know exactly where I’ll be next month.
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To everyone else …. except the other donkey dick sucking faggot, RIS … thanks for the great stories.
Anger MIGHT be my second weakness.
Stucky- You and I both posted a violent post at the same time. Can Ms Freud work us in tomorrow?