What are you attached to? Can you become detached?
So, the photographer was here yesterday and took 50 pictures of the house. We should have them sometime today, and then in the next week or so we’ll signup and post them on a FSBO site …. and that’s the signal that the move is really going to happen. It will be an extremely difficult thing for Ms. Freud, and I anticipate great disturbance in the Force.
While she does not have The Hoarder sickness, she is a Keeper of Things. Everything is a “memento”, even clinical notes dating back ten years. So, how will she be able to get over 3,500 square feet (that includes the basement) of STUFF into a two bedroom apartment?? Her choices are; 1) sell, sell, sell stuff, 2) rent all the storage spaces in town, 3) learn the discipline of Detachment ….. or, a combination of all three.
Regarding that last one, let me go all Jeebus and Buddha on ya;
The Dalai Lama says, — “Most of our troubles are due to our passionate desire for and attachment to things that we misapprehend as enduring entities.” In other words, the most important concept when trying to incorporate non-attachment into your life — IF that is your goal — is by consciously acknowledging that everything that’s manifested in our physical world is temporary, not forever. You can only “lose” that which you cling to.
I got divorced after 19 years of marriage. Our house was bulging with stuff. My most cherished possessions were in my exceedingly large den …. a huge mahogany desk and literally a few thousand books. But, when I left that marriage in 2002, I drove off with what little I could stuff in my 1995 Lincoln Mark VIII …. a rather small car in terms of storage, 75% of which carried my clothes. I left poor as a church mouse, never looked back, and never regretted any of my “loss”. I came into this world naked and poor, and it’s likely I’ll exit the same way. lol
That’s NOT for everyone! And certainly not something I “expect” Ms Freud – or anyone else – to mimic. It’s merely my story so, please do not misunderstand what I’m saying. Non-attachment is NOT having to give up their possessions to somehow feel “free”. This is very far from the truth. Detachment is simply not feeling owned by the things you possess or desire … to be able to “let go” without remorse.
So, I ask again. If you are attached to stuff, can you become detached? OR, if you’ve become detached to stuff, how did YOU do it?
.
(P.S. Looking forward to your responses, later tonight. Got stuff to do with my dad, and will be gone until late afternoon.)
Thanks Bea.
I know this thread is dead ……. BUT, just in case some stumble on it …… just curious ….. how much would a house like this cost in YOUR area? (It’s 1850 sq ft on the first floor … and a fully finished basement)
We’re listing it for $450,000 …. which is about in the middle for the comps in the area.
Stucky- Depends on the area, in the better areas you would get $140,000 to $180,000. In the BEST area of Louisville maybe up to $200,000. Average price here would be around $159,000. I am considered a good curb appraiser.
For your asking price here, you would live in a McMansion compared to where you live in NJ and the property tax would be around $4000 per year. Big bonus 96% of population is not black.
In my area this house would probably do well listed between $100K-$120K. But here’s a link for what kinda property you could get for around your asking price. Move to the south, that is all.
http://www.realtor.com/realestateandhomes-search/Texarkana_TX/price-400000-600000
Ha, ha…Stucky could buy a plantation style house in my area for his asking price.
http://www.realtor.com/realestateandhomes-detail/3911-Jack-Cullen-Dr_Texarkana_AR_71854_M86295-22857?row=1
Nice place you got there. Pics look like something out of Southern Living magazine.
To put it in my terms, I would throw anything away.
Hey, Stuck, since there’s only 9 (maybe 10) peeps coming to the Big Bore Party-Pooper Party, we could have it at your digs, in the front yard even
Stucky says: T4C is hot!!
Look who just woke up to the truth. If we modify Stan Lee’s dictum: (with great power comes great responsibility) we get -> with great ass comes great beauty. It’s not always true that with great beauty comes great ass but the reverse is almost mandatory, it’s like a cosmic law.Only one time have I seen a disconnect. Which is why guys on the prowl look downwards first and only then look at the girl’s face.
Steph- Pricing is fairly close here to your area. $500,000 here will buy you new construction similar to the plantation house you posted only slightly larger and brick construction with 2 1/2 to 3 car garage.
Notice I priced Stuck’s in only better to very best areas of town, in average price range areas 100K to 120K would be price here also.
Bes- I believe it could be listed higher but I think it would sell in the price range I gave it. I’ve seen too many hopefuls in the past 6-12 months have houses relisted multiple times for price drops. I hope Stuck didn’t wait too long before this real estate bubble burst. But I think the real bubble waiting to burst is rental properties so he may do just fine.
Read somewhere that NY real estate prices are dropping. Probably due to the Chinese devaluation/crisis.
Don’t own so much clutter that you will be relieved to see your house catch fire.
The place doesn’t look cluttered, I hate clutter bugs.
@ Stucky
Within a 1 hour drive of our place and depending on the postal code anywhere from 400k to 1.4 Million. Sadly.
Francis
“I hope Stuck didn’t wait too long before this real estate bubble burst.” ——– Stephanie
Yea, me too. But, this is a highly desirable area, especially for the schools – considered to be amongst the very best in the area. Also, the train to NYC is three minutes away. I’m guessing about 20% of this town works at white collar jobs in NYC. This year two $700,000+ homes on our street sold in under a month …. with one of them selling in ONE DAY after it hit the MLS.
“The place doesn’t look cluttered.” ——— EL Coyote
Staging!!!
And, you can’t see what’s in the drawers (JAMMED) and behind closet doors (JAMMED). Also, there’s another room in the basement as long as Ms Freud’s office (26 feet), but not as wide (7 feet), and all of it is jammed with boxes from floor to ceiling. And the 12×14 wash room in the basement, and the garage …
“Ha, ha…Stucky could buy a plantation style house in my area for his asking price.” —-Stephanie
We just put an offer on that house!! LOL
Seriously, that kitchen gave me a woody!! (tmi). Holy shit, what a friggin gorgeous home.
It’s official: housing prices in the USA are insane! If ever proof were needed that nearly everyone has bought into the banksters’ diktat of what you must pay for shelter… Sadly, it’s spread nearly everywhere (even in 3rd world countries), but…
Nothing personal, but $450k? Yeah, sure, it’s NJ and…and… But let’s get real: once upon a time (not that long ago), i.e. pre-QE, one could live a comfortable life with the interest generated by that sum, even after buying another dwelling outright in a less expensive area, one in which you could have land and build your own without the burden of excessive taxes and restrictive laws. I left the US to do so and am every day more grateful that I did. Take your country back, for &%$%’s sake!
Monte, he said the neighboring houses sold for $700K.
Whoever buys his house will get instant equity.
Good gawd stucky there ain’t houses like that in our neighborhood. It looks like something out of 1989 the most glorious age on interior decoration. Tell yer wife I said she’d be crazy ter sell, and if yew could git uh job and chip in on the bills yew should stay put.
PS I can’t believe this boring ass question gained any traction
BW, git yew a photog ter ‘stage yer place fer sail. Crop out the mud hole yew calls a ‘lake’ and mebbe it’wud sell reel quicklike. Be shur to feature the ample pick’em up truk parking in the rear, of the house, I mean
@EC In theory, compa’, in theory, God willing, the creek don’t rise and the bubble don’t burst. I hope it sells tomorrow and Family Stuck evacuates the NYC metropolitan area, but six years ago I built a house not much smaller than that one (no finished basement, but 1100 sq. ft) for $20k and it’s super-insulated (straw bale) on land I already owned and my son and his family live in it and expanded it to nearly double the size for $10k more. That “instant equity” could easily go to zero if the reset that no small number of readers here believe is in the offing.
Own outright in a low tax area, simplify and THEN you’ve got yourself some equity!
@Stucky OK …. what if I buy Joseph …. AND also a Mary statue. If I bury them together, and then when I dig them up … will I have a free baby Jeebus? Thanks for the advice …. but, I’m not superstitious.
Do what I did… dug around in the attic and found St Nicholas and buried him. Sold the first day. Jolly old St. Nick.
EL Coyote post @8:12PM
Holy Shit! Did he just forget to log out as El Coyote …. before signing in as Billah’s Wife???
hmmmmmm ??????
“I can’t believe this boring ass question gained any traction” ———- Billah’s wife
BLOW ME. And, I’m not kidding. I write for reasons, and for people, such as below.
“Stucky, you are onto something with these topics, the self reflection that they inspire is a gift to a lot of people you will never know and that kind of generosity is appreciated more than you can imagine.”
——- hardscrabble farmer
No, I’m just fluid in hillbilly lingo. Stop tryin to stir up shit. Sherlock your not.
“Do what I did… dug around in the attic and found St Nicholas and buried him …” —–Maggie
If Ms Freud reads this ….. it’ll be MY fat ass she buries !!!
.
(Note for newbies: My real name is “Nicholas”)
“All tied to their things, they’re netted by their strings. Free to flutter in memory of their wasted wings.”
Genesis – The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway
“Nothing personal, but $450k? Yeah, sure, it’s NJ and…and… But let’s get real: ” —-Montefrio
Not taking it personal at all.
You are ABSOLUTELY correct!! Our little abode is a PERFECT example of the FUCKING INSANTY that has crept into the system … at least in some parts of the country, and CA is even worse.
My parent’s home, as another example, is even worse in terms of price insanity. My dad paid $16,500 for the house in 1968. The house below is virtually IDENTICAL …. about 3 blocks away, and is listed for sale at $358,500 !!!!
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That’s just fucked up, and shit. (Good for my parents though, if they ever move to a retirement home … which they WON’T !!)
“We just put an offer on that house!! LOL”
Surely, you’re just jesting right…right?
One example of many from lotus land….
http://www.realtor.ca/Residential/Single-Family/16102376/6767-ELWELL-ST-Burnaby-British-Columbia-V5E1K2
T4C- You never know with ole’ Stuck.
“Surely, you’re just jesting right…right?” ———- Stephanie
OK, that’s funny. Of course, I jest. But, why would you be worried? I am a TERRIFIC neighbor. I mind my own fucking business, I keep my area pretty and clean, and I help out whenever needed or asked.
@Francis …. that’s not a bad looking little house …. but $880,000 (US dollars)??? Wow. Looks like I won’t be moving to BC …. so, YOU’RE safe, also.
I love stuff. Just am attached to very little of it. It is a result of being brought up poor as a church mouse and tending, for various reasons, to lose everything on occasion. And by everything I mean everything.
What I am attached to, however, I am deeply attached to. Those few items fit in a small briefcase. If anything on that small list ever goes astray I become frantic until it is found. It is a very deeply imbedded neurosis I cannot shake. I am also pretty fearful of ever becoming poor again – not a situation I want to relive – but that is a horse of a different color. But beyond those few items, I enjoy things, but am not attached to them as such.
As I get older I think the key is to own your stuff and to not let it own you… if that makes any sense???
Llpoh
From dust yew came and to dust ye shall return. The poor have a better chance of makin it inter the great hunting grounds. I’d start sellin shit like Stucky if I was yew.
Stucky- I just don’t think I can cope with seeing a “Spic Wanted” ad in the thrifty nickle from you looking for a gardener for your plantation.
El Beaner says:
“BW, git yew a photog ter ‘stage yer place fer sail. Crop out the mud hole yew calls a ‘lake’ and mebbe it’wud sell reel quicklike. Be shur to feature the ample pick’em up truk parking in the rear, of the house, I mean”
Here it is yew dark skinned mongrel. If yew make fun of our precious southern vernacular agin I will hire srgt mac ter track yer ass down and put uh dose of curry in yer chicherones if yer know what I mean. He will squash yer precious taco hat, and squeeze yer cheechees ah guyana in uh pair uh vice grips. He will use yer Lupe Esparza autograph ter wipe his Harry ASS. He will flatten the tire of yer 92 dodge pickup. The day of reckoning will be at hand.
Stucky, that’s a nice looking house, I’m sure it will sell. But the statue deal has nothing to do with superstition. It came to me from a real estate broker client of mine whom I hired to sell my home after another had zero effect, not even a looky-loo. First thing this guy told me was the statue deal and it worked. He told me that’s S.O.P for all his listings and he was the biggest selling broker or agent in town.
“I just don’t think I can cope with seeing a “Spic Wanted” ad in the thrifty nickle from you looking for a gardener for your plantation.” ——— Stephanie Shepard
Not my style. I treat everyone who does business with me with respect. You don’t understand me, at all.
Stucky- Joke.
Stucky , nice looking house. You probably get what you’re asking. A friend of mine at FedEx parents bought a house in 1966 for 15000 dollars in Los Angeles. His mom just sold it for 450,000 last month. Three bedroom two bath ranch .
Dang, I scored another hit. Big one too. Never thought it was possible to get BW’s goat. Am I a fucking troll or what? Someday I will achieve bb’s stature. For now, it’s time to celebrate taking BW’s scalp. Yay.
Stuff? Probably got too much – might drop some more. Wife is the thrower-away in our pair, I am the accumulator. Not much to say about that either, except she’s agnostic / atheist and I have Buddhist leanings. Saying that cost me a job one time, led to a period of poverty, then grad school for a decade, now I’m out doing my thing as a consultant – and mostly happier. Does not throwing away things make me a bad Buddist? Certainly, my practice (as intermittent as it is) could use improvement; didn’t Buddha say he had more compassion for the poor horse? Can’t remember.
Have some stuff filling most of a 1400 ft2 house. Used to live in bigger houses, generally, but this deal came open and .. anyway, at first we had a storage unit. It took about three years to clear it out, but it got done. Most of what I have now is books, tools and small equipment. Love books – have shelves of science fiction, more in boxes, and saving them to read in retirement. If I get to – along with the tools, some supplies and so forth to get through the Crunch, maybe start a home business or repair things until some kind of sanity returns. It may not, ever …
But I have some tools, a few seeds (not enough), a few weapons (not enough, in a big city, civilized, but still a city) and I’ll have enough supplies to watch the fires and fevers subside, I hope, and help start the rebuilding. That’s what all this stuff is really for – the generator, hand tools, small power tools, seeds, and especially the books. Will the barbarians burn the University library? I might make a last stand there, now to think about it – or just defend myself and mine, as originally planned. Moving all this shit to safety might be quite an effort – but I have enough textbooks and references to rebuild a small set of industries, with help. I have designed and build industrial facilities in the past employment, so it’s not an idle dream. When we rebuild, how will we keep what we build out of the hands of the statists?
There will be a need not just for soldiers and police-types (sheepdogs) but for builders, designers, those who can start with raw materials (perhaps scavenged from the ruins) and make alcohol for medical uses (sterilizer, extracts / pharmceuticals, fuel; alcohol is really useful) and basic chemicals, fertilizers, explosives to clear away wreckage in places; there will be a need for people who can use their brains as well as their brawn to restore what we never should have lost, had we the wits to keep it. I plan to be here for the rebuilding, and to have enough knowledge / tools / supplies / whatever to help make it happen.
And then again, maybe I’m delusional; the statists will conquer all, and tell fools that dependency is better for them than initiatives (which they aren’t controlling) and spies and thieves will rule the earth, briefly, but long enough to screw the rest of us. But I cannot give up without a fight, and I fight to win; for my family I will find a way, if I have to level a area and sow it with land mines and trip wires to keep them away. I will endure, and persist, and build; it’s what I do, and it’s too late to change me.
For someone with not much to say, I’ve rambled far too long. Do what you can, and worry not about your stuff; if you can’t take it with you, someone else can use it – or build your pyre with it, if not.
JtW
Since you don’t have enough seeds:
http://jlhudsonseeds.net/
Thanks, El Coyote – that might be useful. Enjoy!
Stucky
If you want a California comparison check out these three I found for you.
http://www.zillow.com/homedetails/16494-Farley-Rd-Los-Gatos-CA-95032/19745315_zpid/
http://www.zillow.com/homedetails/118-Hillside-Dr-Woodside-CA-94062/15597599_zpid/
http://www.zillow.com/homedetails/2068-El-Sereno-Ave-Los-Altos-CA-94024/19621409_zpid/
Nice looking house, Stucky. That is a nice 50s-vintage brick ranch that has been nicely updated and has great outdoor space. You have done a good job of caring for it and keeping it updated. Given its proximity to NYC, it should easily fetch the asking price.
But those taxes are HELL… though those in Chicago’s suburbs are up there with them. We here in the city are bitching up a storm about the coming hike in property taxes necessary to meet the bill for the past 25 years of our politician’s corruption and financial lunacy, but they will still be far under those of the burbs. I note they are not stopping the well-paid yups from paying $2M for 110-year-old A-frame “workers” cottages in Chicago’s uber-trendy inner-city neighborhoods… the term “inner city” to refer to ghettos is way out of date- these days its the OUTER nabes that are deteriorating, especially at the south end and far west side.
About attachments- it’s fall clearing time in my condo and I’m looking for stuff to dispose of. I confess to “attachments”. I admit to loving beautiful things, and have a hard time letting loose of them, so I limit what I bring into the apt to begin with. If it doesn’t fit withing my walls or my basement storage space, it cannot live here. If I don’t find it useful or beautiful, it is out of here, and if I can’t sell it I will just give it away. I don’t go out looking for things to buy, already have enough “stuff”. Books and films are borrowed from the library whenever possible.
The things I can’t bring myself to let loose of is anything that can keep me warm. Thus, there is an impressive accumulation of blankets and old bedspreads folded and stacked on the main bedroom radiator cover, while the front closet is stuffed with old coats. They are too useful if, say, your boiler breaks down in January. It’s also nice to have them to throw over a neighbor who had to run out of a fire, or something. But the snow boots that are starting to leak have to go, and I finally had to let go a a few old coats with them. Thankfully, Salvation Army is within walking distance, so it is easy to donate the stuff.
I recently found myself in possession of not one, but TWO sets of extremely good china, both received as gifts by people who no longer wanted them and couldn’t sell them, and both very beautiful and expensive to buy new. Ladies, do NOT spend $100, $300, or more a place setting for this stuff- you can get it for a gift price, or even free, from women who wish they had the money it cost! I gave away the Lenox set I didn’t want to a friend who hankered after it but is too frugal to spend money on such a thing. It was easier than trying to sell it. If something is saleable, like my old boutique stereo equipment, I sell it, and everytime I sell stuff like this, I’m forcibly reminded of how much easier it is to spend money on bling than it is to get it back. You go to sell stuff, you are lucky if you get 5 cents on the dollar it cost, no matter how pristine it is.
These days, I buy almost nothing that is not for replacement of something really necessary. Everytime I consider a purchase, I think about the time when I will be forced to dispose of it. Easier to just avoid bringing more crap into the house to begin with.
I have far too much room, and stuff. 3 car garage, full of hub’s, mine, adult son’s, daughter’s – now the grandgift’s – partial basement and two attics.
This place is the longest time I’ve ever been in the same place, and it’s a combination of three half households, plus the entire 10 years of only daughter that has about 20 adults whom cherish – and spoil her, plus the hobby of going to garage sales, thrift shops and the like. Oh yeah, the business spillover too.
I was raised very poor, had to find ways to earn money for basics, like clothes, while most kids still lived in the blissful land of everything being free. Throw in the loss of stuff from multiple moves (over 20 lifetime) and three divorces/house divisions, and I’m fighting against my want to hoard.
I also know that once I shed my stuff and return to the outside workforce, I will be able, will be easier, to leave.
Hence the amount of crap that surrounds me. This summer I’ve tackled multiple areas and son has been warned that his stuff will be leaving one way or the other.
Read somewhere, maybe here?, to think of all your things gone and destroyed – as they all WILL be eventually. Nothing on this big blue marble lasts forever.
Big garage sale then freecycle free for all at the end of October. So much must go, I’m drowning and I finally want to swim again.
Good luck with everything Stuck. And bury the blessed statue, there are worlds other than this one, I’m finding it best to cover all seen and unseen bases. Hugs
“And bury the blessed statue, there are worlds other than this one, I’m finding it best to cover all seen and unseen bases.” ————- TE
NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! 🙂 I just can’t do it. Other than that, nice post!
Also, yours Chicago999444. I have truly ENJOYED reading all the GREAT responses about “stuff”. Very fun to read and re-read.
BTW … working on another Pictorial Essay. Should be done by 5PM …. then again, I’m a horrible estimator.
Pic Essay Hint: Read Psalm 139:14