The poor fella needed protection from the protection he so adamantly, and somehow recklessly tried to acquire.
ABC News reports the 29-year-old man and a couple his buddies planned to steal the condoms by blowing the rubbers vending machine to smithereens.
Amidst the explosion the three fools took shelter in a car nearby, but the victim failed to close his door, and took a fatal shot to the noggin from a flying piece of metal.
Scott’s parents were able to return the console to Target and get a replacement, but Scott’s faith in Santa Claus is shaken. I guess Call of Duty: Black Ops III and The Uncharted Collection will be there to carry him through this difficult time.
Brought to you fresh and fried out of Lecanto, Florida, The Citrus County Sheriff’s Office arrested a woman on shoplifting and drug paraphernalia charges. She was apprehended amidst a shopping cart fueled joyride out of hell.
The woman’s been identified as Josseleen Elida Lopez, 25. Lopez was held after scarfing down $32.36 worth of food and wine. She told the authorities she’s homeless.
If you’re going to hit rock bottom, at least eat some chicken, and wash it down with some wine right? In all seriousness we wish Lopez the best on her road to recovery. Deputies disclosed to the press that they found two empty syringes after arresting Lopez, which she claims she used to inject crystal meth.
See more at the Fail Blog
That dudes quest for a condom worked out in the most deliciously ironic way possible. It prevented him from having a retarded kid and it corrected the mistake his parents made by having a retarded kid. :>