Obama Signs Executive Order Relocating Congress to Guantánamo
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WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Making good on one of his key campaign promises, President Obama signed an executive order on Tuesday relocating the United States Congress to Guantánamo Bay, Cuba.
The President seemed to relish signing the order, calling the relocation a “win-win for America,” and indicating that Congress could be moved to its new headquarters “immediately.”
“We don’t envision doing any renovations to the facility down there,” he said. “It is ready to house Congress right now.”
The President did not specify what the current U.S. Capitol building would be used for in the future, but he hinted that it could be the setting for historic reënactments in the manner of Colonial Williamsburg.
“I think it could be fascinating to school groups,” he said. “It could really take them back to the olden days when it was a real, functioning place.”
Minutes after the President signed the order, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Kentucky) called it “an outrage” and “grounds for impeachment,” but Obama appeared to take such howls of protest in stride.
“If Congress believes that this executive order is illegal, they can take it up with the Supreme Court,” he said. “Oh wait—we don’t have a Supreme Court.”
THE ANDY BOROWITZ REPORT from THE NEW YORKER
Anonymous
February 24, 2016 10:31 am
Imo Obama aka Barry Soetro will one day be hiding in a spider hole.America will not only throw a block party,but demand he return his green card
Bea Lever
February 24, 2016 12:04 pm
He (Oreo) will be written up in the history books as one of the greatest presidents this country ever had. Young people will cheer him as the father of “Communist America” and wonder why you loathe the sight of him. Even now they embrace their enslavement.
PC killed this country, it is our fault.
nkit
February 24, 2016 12:18 pm
Block that pick! Block that pick! Block that pick!
BUCKHED
February 24, 2016 12:28 pm
This one issue scares me to some degree. A liberal court that does an end round on the 2nd amendment will cause chaos . There are plenty of folks itching for a fight and saying that your guns are illegal is a fight that they’ll bring to the table.
Administrator
Author
February 24, 2016 1:28 pm
Nevada Gov. Sandoval being vetted as Supreme Court pick: report
By Robert Schroeder
Published: Feb 24, 2016 1:21 p.m. ET
Nevada Gov. Brian Sandoval is being vetted by the White House for a potential nomination to the Supreme Court, the Washington Post reported, citing two people familiar with the process. The Post says the Republican governor is increasingly viewed by some key Democrats as perhaps the only nominee President Barack Obama could pick who could break a Republican blockade. Republicans have said they won’t vote or hold hearings on an Obama nominee to replace the late Justice Antonin Scalia.
Obama Signs Executive Order Relocating Congress to Guantánamo
[img
[/img]
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Making good on one of his key campaign promises, President Obama signed an executive order on Tuesday relocating the United States Congress to Guantánamo Bay, Cuba.
The President seemed to relish signing the order, calling the relocation a “win-win for America,” and indicating that Congress could be moved to its new headquarters “immediately.”
“We don’t envision doing any renovations to the facility down there,” he said. “It is ready to house Congress right now.”
The President did not specify what the current U.S. Capitol building would be used for in the future, but he hinted that it could be the setting for historic reënactments in the manner of Colonial Williamsburg.
“I think it could be fascinating to school groups,” he said. “It could really take them back to the olden days when it was a real, functioning place.”
Minutes after the President signed the order, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Kentucky) called it “an outrage” and “grounds for impeachment,” but Obama appeared to take such howls of protest in stride.
“If Congress believes that this executive order is illegal, they can take it up with the Supreme Court,” he said. “Oh wait—we don’t have a Supreme Court.”
THE ANDY BOROWITZ REPORT from THE NEW YORKER
Imo Obama aka Barry Soetro will one day be hiding in a spider hole.America will not only throw a block party,but demand he return his green card
He (Oreo) will be written up in the history books as one of the greatest presidents this country ever had. Young people will cheer him as the father of “Communist America” and wonder why you loathe the sight of him. Even now they embrace their enslavement.
PC killed this country, it is our fault.
Block that pick! Block that pick! Block that pick!
This one issue scares me to some degree. A liberal court that does an end round on the 2nd amendment will cause chaos . There are plenty of folks itching for a fight and saying that your guns are illegal is a fight that they’ll bring to the table.
Nevada Gov. Sandoval being vetted as Supreme Court pick: report
By Robert Schroeder
Published: Feb 24, 2016 1:21 p.m. ET
Nevada Gov. Brian Sandoval is being vetted by the White House for a potential nomination to the Supreme Court, the Washington Post reported, citing two people familiar with the process. The Post says the Republican governor is increasingly viewed by some key Democrats as perhaps the only nominee President Barack Obama could pick who could break a Republican blockade. Republicans have said they won’t vote or hold hearings on an Obama nominee to replace the late Justice Antonin Scalia.