TBP 2016 NCAA-T

OK, it’s time for that annual farce known as March Madness.

Why “farce”? For the last 50 years only a BCS school (Big Ten, PAC 10, Big12, SEC, ACC, Big East)   has won it all. This year more than half the field of 64 is composed of schools from these conferences. Western Kentucky was the last non-BCS school to win it all, …. back in 19fucking66. Well, of course, those schools get the best players. And that costs a lot of money; to pay players cold hard cash (like John Calipari did at UMass), to create fake classes for more than a decade (Univ. of N. Carolina), to be so damned corrupt your school receives the “death penalty” (Kentucky’s Season Of Shame), million dollar budgets for coaches to fly all over the world looking for that special snowflake bb-player, money for prostitutes for both players and prospects (Rick Pitino at Louisville), and on and on. It really is a fucking joke. If I wasn’t totally hooked on IU Hoosier basketball, I would be able to say “Fuckit, I don’t need this shit.” Nevertheless, I am hooked, and here I be.

HERE IS HOW TO PLAY.

1) Go directly to the FIND GROUPS link below.

http://games.espn.go.com/tournament-challenge-bracket/2016/en/groupfind

Scroll down the page until you see the blue button labeled “Search Groups”. In the box right next to it, with the words “Search Groups” in the white box …. in there enter the Group Name exactly as shown here …. The-Burning-Platform …. and then click the blue “Search Groups” button.

 2) You will see the group name — The-Burning-Platform. Click on it.

3) Click on “Create A Bracket Now” (BTW … the group-motto this year is ‘No more free sh*t’.)

— We had 40 entries last year, our best year ever. Let’s try to beat that.

— This year, there will be NO LIMIT imposed by me on number of entries per person, but I believe ESPN limits it to 10.

 (IMPORTANT NOTE: FOR FUCKSAKE!!! WILL YOU PEOPLE PLEASE SAVE YOUR PICKS WITH YOUR TBP NAME … OR SOMETHING CLOSE TO IT???? Goddammit, I asked the same last year, yet we still had some a-hole saving a pick as “jryznic”. Fucken’ Pollack.)\

WHY YOU SHOULD PLAY.

• Fill out a perfect bracket …. Win $1 BILLION Obongo bucks!! Really.
  
• ESPN awards more than $1 MILLION dollars in prizes, including a free car.

(NOTE: If you do sign up to win the free car, you WILL get fucking SPAM advertisements from every fucking auto dealer in a 50 fucking mile radius from where you fucking live for the next fucking six months.)

 WHY YOU SHOULD NOT PLAY.

• You people are MAROONS!!
• Where did TBP finish last year? 29,152. Yea, that’s right
• You people ain’t winning jack-shit.
• Here are the results from last year; —- http://games.espn.go.com/tournament-challenge-bracket/2015/en/group?groupID=430261

The above results will show SSS finishing DEAD LAST, out of TBP’s 40 entries. Actually, this is another reason to play. “Yea, I know I have incurable cancer, and I lost all my life savings …. but at least I fucken beat that mole SSS!!”

 ===================================

HINTS AND COMMENTS.

Once again, the Selection Committee is obviously corrupt and fucked up in the head.

— They really fucked my Hoosiers royally. IU finishes the season ranked 10^th … and wins the tough Big Ten regular season with a 15-3 record …. and they are seeded 5^th? Are you fucking kidding me???

— Indiana plays Kentucky in the 2^nd round. That used to be one of basketball’s oldest and fiercest rivalries (until John Calimari chickened out and ended it when IU beat Kentsucky’s ass when they were #1, hahaha). Anyway, that match-up is a severe kick-in-the-face to both teams. Two TOP20 teams playing in the fucking second round? You don’t think that’s a contrived made-for-tv ($$$) fucking bullshit conspiracy? If not, you’re probably the type of person who believes Building 7 collapsed at free fall speed even though it was hardly damaged at all!

— Michigan State, a Top 5 team who wins the Big Ten Tourney and with arguably the best player in college basketball (along with Buddy Hield) does NOT get a #1 seed …. while the ACC media darlings give TWO number one seeds to the ACC, including Virginia – who won NEITHER the regular season nor the ACC Championship! Give me a fucking break.

— Duke – yet, once again – gets the easiest fucking Road To The Final4, having to play virtually no one until the Elite8. Rumor has it that during the half time of this year’s first Dukie game that Dickie V will be shown sucking all the Duke players’ cocks in the locker room. Grayson “Trippin” Allen (pretentious dick sucking name) has managed to surpass faggot pretty-boy Christian Laettner as the most despised college player of all time. Rumor has it that Dickie V will remove his glass eye so that Grayson can just fuck him right in the head.

— St. Bonaventure with an RPI of 28 (28!!!!) is left off while a shitfuk team like Tulsa makes it? WTF? Where the fuck is Tulsa anyway?

— Finally, all you have to do is to listen to the head of the Selection Committee. I’m sure ESPN will show it 20 more times. What a goddamn fucking moron. Probably a Bernie Sanders voter. Talks in circles. Completely and totally inconsistent; for example, saying one team made it because of their RPI, and then totally ignoring it for another team. As you know, I’m not a big conspiracy fan. But, I swear, this is mostly about DA MONEY, and those motherfuckers in the NCAA are as corrupt as any organization in the world.

This is the most difficult year ever. Get a load of this. In 2015-16, Top-10 teams suffered 74 losses, the most since the Associated Press launched its Top 25 poll … in 1948. Top-five teams were upset 37 times (21 of which came to unranked foes). That tied for the most ever. The No. 1 teams lost seven times during the regular season for, you guessed it, the first time ever. Holy Shit, good luck making “informed” picks. Biggest crap-shoot ever.

Seriously, here are two damned good websites for help;

• The nice thing about the link below is that it allows you to compare two teams side-by-side;

http://www.cbssports.com/collegebasketball/bracketology/team-comparison/IND/undefined

• The link below has quick access to virtually any stat you want. For example, I always look at Defensive Efficiency. So, who is #1 in the nation? Villanova? Nope. Michigan State? Nope. Kentucky? Nope. It’s ….. Wichita State! These types of things are nice to know … at least in the first couple rounds.

https://www.teamrankings.com/ncb/stats/

Do NOT listen to ESPN experts. In last year’s Tourney no ESPN “expert” finished better than 33,000. These people are like all “journalists” … fucken morans. For example, some va-jay-jay on ESPN is picking The Cheaters (Kentucky) because they have Tyler Ulis and “guard play wins championships”. Well, duh! There are only 5 (!!!) players on the court and two of them (sometimes more) ARE guards, so the chance that past winners have good guards is fairly strong. Penile challenged idiot! If you want a relatively true cliché then try this one ya dumb ginny– “Defense wins championships”. And this is one of Cal’s worse defensive teams ever.

If you think offensive wins championships, pick Indiana. They are #2 in the country in offensive efficiency. The entire team shoots better than 40% from the three. Their Achilles Heel? Turnovers. In the bottom third of the country. Teams that regularly turn over the ball 20% of the time don’t win jack shit. But, I’m submitting one sheet with them winning it all. Cuz I’m an idiot.

Kentsucky sucks ass. They play in a shit conference and Calimari is a cheater and a fraud.  Stoney Brook will beat them in the first round.  That’s a lock. The Squid, a terrible game coach, needs four or five Lottery Picks to win a title, and he doesn’t have them this year.

When will Kansas choke … again? Bill Self has been to the NCAA-T for like 28 consecutive years, and one title. Haha and whoop dee fucken doo … Rock, Chalk, SuckMyCock. Will Roy Williams have a sob eruption on air when they lose (again) this year? Villanova is Fool’s Gold … Jay Wright never has, and never will, win it all … teams take on the ‘persona’ of their coach, and Jay is one big Philly Pussy. Bob Huggins is a mean-assed cocksucker – and that’s why he should be everyone’s “Dark Horse” to take home the prize.

For the sixth consecutive year flash will copy&paste his original picks from his office pool back in 1982. He’s really confident that THIS year will be different.

Admin’s sole goal is to beat Avalon. Let us all pray for Avalon!!

SPECIAL SECTION FOR LADIES

We never have more than one or two womenz playing. Why? Cuz you don’t know shit from shineola? Yup. OK, here are some really helpful hints, that will insure you penetrate this tourney long and deep;

— 1) There are little numbers next to each team. That means “relative strength”. As you ladies know, bigger is better. So, if a “9”-team plays a “3”-team … then you should pick the “9”-team because 9 IS greater than 3. Mmm-kay?

—2) Eventually a 4-team, as just one example, from one region will play a 4-team from another region. In this case, go with the team’s name. For example, if the Oregon Ducks play the Georgia Bulldogs, you must go with the Bulldogs. Ducks don’t even have teeth. A bulldog (a Big Dog) will generally rip a duck a new asshole six ways to Sunday, just like here on TBP. Mmm-kay?

— 3) Final tiebreaker. Pick the team with your favorite color. If both have the same color, pick the team with the most neegrows.

Author: Stucky

I'm right, you're wrong. Deal with it. View all posts by Stucky