When I smelled something much worse than my dogs farts and she was looking at me like what the hell is that?
TomMacGyver
June 9, 2017 2:09 pm
When I heard a fart, and both my dogs looked straight at HER!
Gloriously Deplorable Paul
June 9, 2017 3:15 pm
Over 40 years ago, when we were a couple in high school, she wouldn’t even sneeze in front of me. Now lets just say the honeymoon is over.
Miles Long
June 9, 2017 3:24 pm
After a Mexican dinner that couldn’t be beat, she asked me to pull her finger. I told her I would if she would. We had finger pulling 69 on the 2nd date. Life is good.
TC
June 9, 2017 3:47 pm
For the longest time, and still to this day, my wife does not and will not intentionally pass gas in front of me, which I think is hilarious. The first time I cought her we were sitting on the sofa watching TV. She had fallen asleep and let a thunderous paint-peeler rip! It was so loud that it rattled her awake. I was laughing my ass off because I finally caught her, and she got pissed at *me*. She tried to deny it, but she was busted. Funny thing is, that exact same scenario plays out about once every 6-8 months or so.
Ticky Toc
June 9, 2017 4:05 pm
Early on my significant other and I went camping and I was able to get a picture of her crapping in the woods. That picture is about as priceless as a photo of Bigfoot. Whenever she gets a little too uppity I make sure it’s seen.
The funny / sad thing is that now when we go camping she’ll sneak off and hike about a mile and hide in a briar patch to do her business. We camp a lot and it’s been hell to get more pictures and she knows I’m looking to expand my “portfolio” – pisses her off to no end.
Ed
June 9, 2017 4:18 pm
In our first apartment my wife farted so loud that the neighbors started laughing their asses off. She was embarrassed to face them after that. It didn’t help that I told her friend that she farted so loud the neighbors started banging on the wall.
james the deplorable wanderer
June 9, 2017 7:08 pm
We got over that stage, the “being embarrassed by normal bodily functions” stage, quite early, thank goodness.
On an early date, we were driving between her home city and a larger one when her period arrived early – and she was wearing white slacks. After she reassured me she didn’t want to go back home, we went on – and our first stop at the destination shopping mall was the Sears, where only the men’s room was locateable (I think they must have hidden the women’s room somewhere in tools or home furnishings, it sure wasn’t anywhere obvious). I stood guard outside while she went in to wash out her duds, and we went on to a successful date, courtship and marriage. When I asked her about it later, she said she was impressed by how determined I was to prevent HER embarrassment. Also by the fact I didn’t faint, laugh or act disgusted by what is a normal part of a fertile woman’s life.
Looking back it seems like such a small thing, something any male should be capable of, but I have since met men who cannot deal with that part of reality well. They should spend a month cleaning out women’s restrooms until they understand that Nature does not care about their feelings, but does what is necessary, and there is nothing embarrassing or unnatural about it.
I am totally confused – what the hell did you mean by this? I buy condoms (well, I used to anyway) and pads / tampons, whatever is needed….
Some years later a fellow engineer and obvious immature idiot stated in the presence of three wives and husbands that any woman HE married would have to buy “that stuff” (feminine hygiene products) with her own money, he wasn’t responsible for anything of that sort.
I wonder if he ever married; my wife later expressed her doubt that any woman worth having would have him!
EL Coyote
June 9, 2017 7:48 pm
So, when the stripper farted on me, she was flirting? I totally missed my opportunity since she was a real hottie.
Gator
June 9, 2017 9:10 pm
She managed to not do so for a long time, allowing me to continue with my position that girls don’t shit or fart. That lasted up until I was holding one of her legs back during the delivery of our first child. Lets just say there was a lot going on down there. Didn’t bother me in the least, since I got to help deliver our first child. Afterwards, in the recovery room, when things were still a little ‘messed up’ and numb down there ,she let fly with a couple, and I happened to get a picture of her embarassed face when she looked up at me after she let one fly.
james the deplorable wanderer
June 10, 2017 12:49 am
Mammalian birth is not for the faint-hearted, whether pitching or catching.
When I smelled something much worse than my dogs farts and she was looking at me like what the hell is that?
When I heard a fart, and both my dogs looked straight at HER!
Over 40 years ago, when we were a couple in high school, she wouldn’t even sneeze in front of me. Now lets just say the honeymoon is over.
After a Mexican dinner that couldn’t be beat, she asked me to pull her finger. I told her I would if she would. We had finger pulling 69 on the 2nd date. Life is good.
For the longest time, and still to this day, my wife does not and will not intentionally pass gas in front of me, which I think is hilarious. The first time I cought her we were sitting on the sofa watching TV. She had fallen asleep and let a thunderous paint-peeler rip! It was so loud that it rattled her awake. I was laughing my ass off because I finally caught her, and she got pissed at *me*. She tried to deny it, but she was busted. Funny thing is, that exact same scenario plays out about once every 6-8 months or so.
Early on my significant other and I went camping and I was able to get a picture of her crapping in the woods. That picture is about as priceless as a photo of Bigfoot. Whenever she gets a little too uppity I make sure it’s seen.
The funny / sad thing is that now when we go camping she’ll sneak off and hike about a mile and hide in a briar patch to do her business. We camp a lot and it’s been hell to get more pictures and she knows I’m looking to expand my “portfolio” – pisses her off to no end.
In our first apartment my wife farted so loud that the neighbors started laughing their asses off. She was embarrassed to face them after that. It didn’t help that I told her friend that she farted so loud the neighbors started banging on the wall.
We got over that stage, the “being embarrassed by normal bodily functions” stage, quite early, thank goodness.
On an early date, we were driving between her home city and a larger one when her period arrived early – and she was wearing white slacks. After she reassured me she didn’t want to go back home, we went on – and our first stop at the destination shopping mall was the Sears, where only the men’s room was locateable (I think they must have hidden the women’s room somewhere in tools or home furnishings, it sure wasn’t anywhere obvious). I stood guard outside while she went in to wash out her duds, and we went on to a successful date, courtship and marriage. When I asked her about it later, she said she was impressed by how determined I was to prevent HER embarrassment. Also by the fact I didn’t faint, laugh or act disgusted by what is a normal part of a fertile woman’s life.
Looking back it seems like such a small thing, something any male should be capable of, but I have since met men who cannot deal with that part of reality well. They should spend a month cleaning out women’s restrooms until they understand that Nature does not care about their feelings, but does what is necessary, and there is nothing embarrassing or unnatural about it.
Jimbo, a real man buys the condoms, pussies go to the store to buy feminine pads for their old ladies.
I am totally confused – what the hell did you mean by this? I buy condoms (well, I used to anyway) and pads / tampons, whatever is needed….
Some years later a fellow engineer and obvious immature idiot stated in the presence of three wives and husbands that any woman HE married would have to buy “that stuff” (feminine hygiene products) with her own money, he wasn’t responsible for anything of that sort.
I wonder if he ever married; my wife later expressed her doubt that any woman worth having would have him!
So, when the stripper farted on me, she was flirting? I totally missed my opportunity since she was a real hottie.
She managed to not do so for a long time, allowing me to continue with my position that girls don’t shit or fart. That lasted up until I was holding one of her legs back during the delivery of our first child. Lets just say there was a lot going on down there. Didn’t bother me in the least, since I got to help deliver our first child. Afterwards, in the recovery room, when things were still a little ‘messed up’ and numb down there ,she let fly with a couple, and I happened to get a picture of her embarassed face when she looked up at me after she let one fly.
Mammalian birth is not for the faint-hearted, whether pitching or catching.
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