Yesterday, two copfuks showed up at our door. Because I murdered a raccoon.
So, I’m sitting on this lovely deck overlooking this lovely English garden-like property on a Friday morning composing a faaaabulous porn QOTD.
Suddenly I hear a clatter, or was it chatter, coming from the small coy pond, and I stand up to inspect the matter.
There, to my horror, I see three huge fucking racoons swimming in that pond like it’s their own goddamned private bathroom.
Now, this pisses me off because, like coons everywhere, dey ain’t paying no rent. It pisses off our landlord because those big fat free shitters actually live in the attic, and they’ve caused damage to this Historic Home, and all their attempts to get rid of them hitherto have failed. Time to take matters in my own hands.
So, I run to the basement in hopes of finding the proper removal instrument. I found a four foot length of 2×4. That should work. It did, sort of.
The coons must have sensed my evil intentions upon them, for when I reappeared two of them were nowhere to be found. The third one decided to climb the nearby pine tree. Big mistake. He, or she, decided to only climb up about six feet, and hide on the opposite side of the pond, with his little head peeping from behind the branch. Big mistake.
Afraid that he/she would climb out of reach if I approached slowly, I quickly ran to the spot, arms held high, and smacked that sonuvabitch freeloading varmint right on the noggin. It fell to the ground immediately. But, it wasn’t dead. So, I smacked it a few more times. I did this with a good heart … I did NOT want this creature to suffer! But, lemme tell you; coons are HARD to kill!! So, I found a good sized rock nearby … I’m guessing 20+ pounds, and smashed it upon his head. This worked … after the second smashing. From the clubbing to the smashing, it took about one grisly minute.
One of the other tenants saw this. Not sure who, but I suspect it was the vegan chick (a very nice lady, really) from the 3rd floor. Whoever it was, called the cops. They showed up two days later. This huge delay isn’t giving Ms Freud much confidence should I decide to go apeshit on … oh, nevermind.
The copfuks, both kneegrows, gave me the impression that they really didn’t want to deal with this bullshit. After all, there were two murders in this town the last couple of months, both unsolved … and wouldn’t it look patently ridiculous to solve a raccoon murder while human murderers still roamed free? Yes, it would.
Nevertheless, I discovered that killing varmints is against the law, and I would be subject to arrest. So, “Did I kill Rocky Raccoon?”. Well, as it so happens, I watch a lot of “Law & Order”, and I know they can’t do jack-shit without, A) a murder weapon, or B) a body. The murder weapon is hidden, and the body has been disposed. So, I said, “Racoon? I don’t know nothing about no racoon!”.
And thus, the investigation ended peacefully without further incident … in less time than it took to kill the little fucker in the first place. However, I think they’re keeping an eye on me as I’ve seen them casing this joint in a slow drive by a couple times since. So, even though I saw both remaining coons AGAIN this morning, I did not kill them. I can’t risk getting ass raped by a coon in the local jail cuz of a coon swimming in mah coy pond. I was born at night … but not last night.
Q1: Am I a bad person for what I did? (Killing the coon … not lying to the copfuks.)
Q2: Regardless, would YOU have called the cops on me?
Q3: Any copfuk stories you can share which you personally experienced?
.
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Now we’ve got you motherf**ker. You have confessed to this heinous crime and will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. We’ll be charging you with illegal possession of a 2 x 4, murder, and a hate crime for calling the innocent victim a coon.
Expect our arrival shortly.
I was cleaning my 2×4 when it went off.
WHEN 2X4s ARE OUTLAWED, ONLY OUTLAWS WILL HAVE 2X4s!!!
Ya but you know what will happen, as soon as they outlaw 2×4’s some SOB will start cutting 2.5x 3.5s. They’ll be more club like so even more dangerous…
Throw in metric system and then mayhem would ensue…
Never let a good 2’x4′ got to waste.
There were two assailants, audio proof of a stone following wood club proves it, listen at :51 seconds.
Assault studs. Next thing you know there will be synthetic lumber with flash suppression.
You got a bump-stock fer that 2×4?
I’m a little more cautious in disagreeing with you when I post, especially if there are any 2×4 ‘ s laying close by.
So, to answer your question. No. No and no.
Coons have been causing problems in this country for quite a while now.
There’s got to be some legal way to get rid of them.
That’s RACISSS!!!
I have a large garden, just outside the “city limits.” I kill roughly 12-18 raccoons, the same number of ‘possums, and that number of squirrels again every year … shoot them w/ a 22 just outside the “city limits.” I try to be very respectful about it … do it at a time when few or no one will notice. But, the country is overrun w/ such vermin and if I didn’t do it the garden would be destroyed.
@Stukfuk sez, must be a slow news day in the stukfuk household. Even so, what else is to be expected from a lowlife scum but to make fun of honest Americans doing their job, aka first responders, and racism?
I’m not in favor of private armies, or professional fire fighters, but the smallest jurisdiction which covers every square of territory in the United States is a county, and there is one Chief Law Enforcement Official (CLEO) in each jurisdiction. We don’t need state or federal law enforcement with the power of arrest, only the CLEO, whose job it is to serve court orders. Everything else is just pissing up a tree, like Stukfuk.
So, you also suck cop dick?
Wow, what a surprise.
You kiss your priest’s ass, the State’s ass, cop ass, your dog’s ass, your own ass ….. what ass haven’t your lips locked on?
Oh. Yeah. MY ass! So, how ’bout you stop over some time and kiss my hairy white ass? If you do a good job … is there anything you’re good at??? …. I’ll also consider letting you suck on my hairy ballz.
Typical stukfuk, diving straight for the gutter. Ms. Freud not up to the task?
Fer fuck sakes AWB you went for gutter first… you give maroons a bad name..
Are you fucking kidding me? Nobody dives deeper into the cesspool. That’s strictly stukfuk’s domain.
My kids whine about who hit who first. Big Fucking Deal, shithead.
You must be another unbeliever, and a Stukfuk apologist to boot. Go fuck yourself with one of Stukfuk’s spools of rusty barbed wire when he’s done.
“My kids …” —— AWB
Somebody let YOU fuck them??? Praise da Lawd, He still worketh miracles!
Better watch out RiNS …. Basement Boy is very very mad at you.
@stukfuk sez, you’re the basement boy, stukfuk, and you’re not projecting your way out of it. RiNs and RePeat must be one of your proteges, douche baggery squared.
Well boy howdy.
Asshole
Wunderkind
Bible Thumper got as far as square roots in skool!
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Freedom of speech and the age of grace are a double edged sword.
Where do you want to spend eternity? Repent and accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior, believe God raised him from the dead, and you will absolutely be saved. (Rom 10:9- 10).
Where else are you going to get that kind of guarantee? Not on this earth and certainly not from Stucky. He’s beyond redemption. Romans 1.
If eternity entails spending it with the likes of you then the other options tend to me to be a whole lot better..
Plucking harps and jumping clouds ain’t a great sales pitch.
How about this..
Are there whores in heaven and if so where do I go when I get there to get laid?
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Yours in Odin,
RiNS
Wouldn’t know about whores in heaven, not my department.
You can save your Odin salutation for someone who gives a shit.
lol
even the whores don’t want anythin’ ta do with you.
Yours very much in Odin,
RiNS
Oh, you’re a whore spokesperson, now?
Your mother must be so proud.
lol
“first responders”
Good one.
Q1: yes, very bad. you have taken away the potential revenue from the local animal/wild life control people. They gotta eat too. They would have spent countless days trying to capture this critter, so they can dump it in my rural neighborhood, usually under cover of night. (PS thanks)
Q:2 No, never, ever call the cops, or even acknowledge their presence. This is a sure fire way of getting a little too much attention. The CF’s have one mission in life, and that is to pretend that their jobs are more important to society than any other, and of course, extract revenue from the plebes.
Q:3 I too am guilty of imposing my will on varmints, which in turn, resulted in multiple arrests, (no convictions) due to my ability to out think and out maneuver said cop fucks.
Even though it is possible to evade, eventually, you will need to pay the piper. and court is a terrible waste of taxpayer money. The judge in my case didn’t even have a degree, he was a shift worker at the local modular home factory. He just happened to marry into the local family that founded this shit hole of rural NY
my recommendation is to figure out how to work at night, when you feel like letting off a little steam, or, learn how to make some effective snares or traps that will give these little bastards a 2nd thought as to camping in your backyard.
Are you begging for punishment stuck?
Of course, he is. What else are you going to do in a rooming house infested with vermin?
The question is, why did Stukfuk feel compelled to kill a racoon in a back yard that doesn’t belong to him, and then lie about doing it?
That’s really all one needs to know about Stukfuk to know what a lowlife scum he is. Honestly, why would anyone admit to being a lowlife scum, yet that’s exactly what he’s done here. I don’t wish him ill, but it’s my opinion he’s brought it all upon himself through the choices he’s made in his life. If he’s never been divorced, that would be one saving grace, but sadly, that too he’s managed to fuk up. The question then becomes is there anything he hasn’t fukt up, and why would anyone want to read anything this loser writes? If this sounds harsh, you don’t know Stukfuk. He’s never cut anyone a break who doesn’t share his disbelief.
Call him scum TWICE then add that you don’t wish him ill…
How Christian generous and hypocritical.. you are truly an ambassador of Christ in every way..
Kill the other tenants. Problem solved.
I live on a lake, in the city limits – can’t shoot them. Next best thing is to put out a pie tin, of tasty (it tastes sweet) antifreeze. You just never see them again. Be sure to keep your pets indoors when you do this.
Kill other tenants. Hilarious!
Dutch … seriously …. does that antifreeze solution really work? Full strength, I assume?
Also, how quickly does it work. The last thing I want is for it to not kill them quickly … and they climb back into the house (attic … which is enormous), and die there. I hear the smell is horrendous and takes a long time to dissipate.
TIA
Yep,raccoons or other critters rotting over say a plaster ceiling slowly staining it/leaking thru is a ugly thing to deal with.I have for people,try some Vicks rub on ones lip to help with the smell along with disposable gloves and a heavy duty trash bag,not fun at all but can charge a good amount as many folks understandably would rather pay to deal with it!The antifreeze is a slow killer,would not reccomend butto each their own.
Antifreeze will kill your neighbors cats. You will have a war on your hands.
The antifreeze unfortunately kills all,including kids,why little kids wandering around alone tis another story,but,one drinks your varmint broth,could get very ugly.Why the hell one would have Koi pond in a city region is a whole nother story!My friend has chickens/garden and sheep on his acerage out in the wood/field lands,so far has never had a problem with varmints.I suppose the large Pyrenees and German Shepard that get along famously might have something to do with it.
“Why the hell one would have Koi pond in a city region is a whole nother story!”
Maybe because it’s a large property that’s impeccably landscaped with over 100 unique species of trees …. did I mention it looks like an English Garden? …. and if you were beamed down here directly you would NEVER suspect you were in the city ….. and because it looks beautiful?
But, there hasn’t been fish in it for a few years.
That’s because the coons like easy pickings and ate all the fish…
Hilarious. I can write that and still have plausible deniability when someone howls that is raccoonist….
Antifreeze also gets rid of all the stray and loose pet dogs in the neighborhood.
They love the stuff and you get the pleasure of knowing you gave them a rather nasty death.
Thank goodness I still live where you can shoot the little bastards.
Hey, Human-type of cowardly bitch,
Ich frage euch: Wollt ihr den totalen Krieg? Wollt ihr ihn, wenn nötig, totaler und radikaler, als wir ihn uns heute überhaupt erst vorstellen können?
You want a war? We’ll give you a war, motherfucker!
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I’m not saying you are not right YoBo, Stuck could be a potential serial killer (starting with AWB) but OMG…..POT calling the kettle black.
YOU are the parasite that must by eliminated, you human piece of filth!
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Once again, a vile “human” spreading degeneracy and pornography has attacked our traditional, healthy, natural, raccoon culture while we were doing NOTHING to bother that hostile alien living in our midst.
I hope there are at least 6 million to you for us to take out our anger on, filth!
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Agreed. We will mass our forces on the borders of his property, then advance in a lightning fashion with our raccoon wehrmacht.
You may control the media, you “human” scum. You may have the narrative here, but you will feel our wrath.
Get ready for a train ride to the east, motherfucker!
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Obergruppenfuhrer Raccoon is my favorite. Nice hat, love the boots, working the armband.
We’ve already ordered 1,000 raccoon sized uniforms from Hugo Boss.
Your flayed corpse will be buried under Blood and Soil within a week, I can promise you that, Oh “Child of God”.
You are a child of Satan! Get ready to have Hell unleashed, vermin!
Ein Volk! Ein Reich!
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Jebus H. Krist YOEBBLES ! Is every subject an opportunity for you to do your Nazi schtick??
OK- so it is funny…but still.
Oh, c’mon …..
Rottenführer raccoon, Obergruppenführer raccoon,
Reichsführer ss racoon, etc. …
Even those names are hilarious!
I think it’s El Coyote. Habla alemán.
Thanks for the credit but I suspect YoBo actually has a sense of humor and T4C is like creeper weed.
EC- T4C is not like weed, she smokes da weed because she likes it. 🙂
Creeper weed was an old style variety that took a while to knock you on your ass.
Not today’s one toke and your toast.
Whomever is posting the NAZI coons …. probably Yo …. fucken hilarious stuff!! Really. Ms Freud is actually laughing out loud(ly).
One does not win going to war with nature long term.I used to live in another home in country with small amount of yard,1/2 hour at most to cut,just enuff to lie on/a little frisbee ect.While a friend and I on front steps having a beer saw a few chipmunks that had dug holes in lawn,hmmmm……,covered them with a few rocks.next day a bunch of new holes,their way of saying cut it out,live with a few holes and be done with it.Of course,covered new holes also with rocks,next day,surprise,more holes!So,covered all holes I knew of excepting one,tossed in a M-80 and covered with trash can lid!Out of a distant but missed hole a chipmunk flew up a few feet vertically before scadadaling sideways to woods with smoke coming out a few minutes later,this was met with a lot of laughs with friends and another beer(of course!).We sat on the steps and could hear them chirping away in wood line,thought was very funny!
Needless to say well over 20 holes in yard by next morning,just lived with it.I later got a Siamese cat that loved the outdoors,strangely enough chipmunks to a large part moved on.I did later on have a ground hornet nest in yard,they actually left me alone even mowing and did a live and let live,cat got interested and stung,1/4 gallon of gas down the hole and a match took care of them!Oh,also from under burned out or poisoned roots about a square yard!Once again,another botched victory!
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There are times when YoBo is actually lovable.
The Vegan chick needs to go back to her planet. She’s a threat to our culture and could lead to a Burger King genocide.
BTW, Stuck, have you been making unseemly propositions to the Koi pond?
1. Raccoons are tough, props to you for being able to off one through brute force.
2. No, I would not have called the cops.
3. I got cuffed and thrown in the back of a cop car at 18 for being the nearest by-stander handy after a fight. I peeled the two assailants apart and kept them from going back at it. Cop grabbed me to make a statement.
He let me out after everyone scattered.
Still pissed me off.
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Not sure if this is serious or if Sticky is just practicing writing fiction.
Anyway, in my state it’s illegal to relocate (alive) wild animals, but raccoons and many others are on the list of animals that are legal to kill as varmints. This only helps if you are in a rural area where such things are legal (under local law) and considered normal.
True story, Snicky.
Q2: Trapped (live) a couple of my insane neighbors cats that had been shitting in my boat and dumped them in another neighborhood. Deputy showed up at my door telling me that said insane neighbor told them I had killed his cats and burned their bodies. Story was so out there I (medumbfuk) told the deputy what I had done , even showed him the live trap. A few days later I get called in for an interview at Sheriff’s office. Seems insane neighbor had went to DA and pressed charges. Animal control had got in on the crime and they wanted a piece of me. Luckily I passed the interview and charges were dropped. Don’t think I would have done any time but am sure could have lost substantial $$ if convicted. Later had a confrontation with said insane neighbor. He explained how valuable those cat’s were in keeping down the rat population in his barns. As a gesture of reconciliation I offered to pay for his cats. He proceeds to tell me they had been spayed and declawed. I asked how good they were as mousers with no claws, kindly explained extortion to him, and told him to go fuck himself.
NEVER TALK TO THE COPS.
Years later I have chickens shitting all over my patio. Insane neighbor is going thru neighborhood looking in people’s garbage cans for his missing chickens. I have no idea what happened to them but animal control said that Bantams make a good gumbo.
Bingo.
I actually gave them to a sheriffs deputy.
Different Un
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Jeebers man. You beat some poor little bandit faced forest creature to death over the period of a minute with a stick and a rock but give me a hard time for humanely putting down a giraffe with a high powered rifle?
I got one thing to say to you buddy!
You shoulda used a .22…
I hope I didn’t give you too much of a hard time over MURDERING that giraffe.?
When I first found out about the coons I told our landlady that I’d get a bb gun (at the time I didn’t know how difficult it was to kill them).
She sad, “Ach, nein! Zat ist against zee law!”. Indeed, ya can’t even own a bb gun in this shitfuk state without proper paperwork. Not to mention I live literally next door to the mayor. If I’d fire off a .22 the entire copfuk force would be here in two minutes.
Forget the antifreeze, the formulation is different and will not work like in the past. Mix Gold Malrin (a fly bait) with coca cola. Make a paste, smear on tree bark five or six feet off the ground. No, I’m not a serial killer and won’t likely become one, but I do know how to protect my shit. It’s not against the law to make homemade pesticides. I would use the 2×4 and claim self defense.
Thanks for the tip…
“This past May, a dog named Gunner wandered into his neighbor’s barn and lapped sweet blue liquid from two pie tins on the floor. Then he collapsed and started to convulse… It was a mixture of Coca Cola and methomyl, a chemical sold to attract and kill flies.”
“Some of them die with their face in the pan that they’re licking out of. I mean, it kills them that quick.”
from ScienceMag.org
Amazon has it, and Admin gets a cut. What could be better?
Better solution. Feed them some of those ((carbs)) that Denniger keeps screaming about. The little fuckers won’t last the week according to Karl.
I had a pet raccoon as a young boy. My dad was a logger and found it. He should have never brought it home since there is no way we could keep and raise it. Anyway, the darn thing got out of it’s cage every night by untwisting the sandwich ties we used to keep the cage closed. They are smart, have thumbs (well, maybe not thumbs but might as well be) and can make great pets.
The dog ran the raccoon off. I’m sure it died since it never had a mother to teach it how to survive.
Damn you Stuck, leave mother nature alone. I mean, fuck, you’ll be gone soon enough anyway. Learn to live and let live.
There are a lot of people who think killing a coon is not a bad thing.
Has anyone seen my cat?
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They should lock you up!
I don’t think Stuck would last long on the inside. I hear its tough in there.
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Cat in need of a 2 x 4
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Q1: Am I a bad person for what I did? (Killing the coon … not lying to the copfuks.)
No. Coons are varmints. Coons kill chickens and raid trash cans and they can also carry rabies, so I have no love for coons. You get extra points for creativity in finding weapons, killing it quickly so that it didn’t suffer, having the strength and perseverance to follow through and get the job done, and having the sense to get rid of the evidence.
Q2: Regardless, would YOU have called the cops on me?
I wouldn’t call the copfuks on my neighbors for any reason except, maybe, if they killed a person. Even in the small town that I live in calling our very nice police would likely cause more problems than it solves. In the city that’s pretty much guaranteed. I’d be much more likely to buy my neighbor a beer for a job well done in this particular instance.
Q3: Any copfuk stories you can share which you personally experienced?
No I tend to avoid any interaction with copfuks. But in the previous small town I lived in I lived right on the main road. One Saturday (so not much likelihood of getting fish and game to answer their phone) I found a deer on my property that had been hit by a car and was suffering a slow death. It was not hunting season, the area was too exposed to expect privacy, and with no access to fish and game I called the police. A very nice police man came and shot the deer for me with his 9mm right between the eyes. I was impressed 🙂 On my current property I wouldn’t have this problem so I don’t have to depend on the cops.
My first suggestion for getting rid of the coons. Get one of those have-a-hart or similar traps of sufficient size. Make sure that you weigh it down or attach it securely to something otherwise they will tip it over and escape. When you catch a coon (they’re smart so it might take a few tries) wait until nobody’s watching, put the trap in the pond to drown the coon (making sure to keep the trap upright so it can’t escape), dump the body in the trash, reset the trap, and disavow all knowledge of any dead raccoons.
My second suggestion is to work with the landlord and try the various poisons that people here suggested – but put them up in the attic so you don’t have to worry about dogs, cats or kids getting into them. The biggest problem with this one is that if it works you’ll have to carry the bodies down from the attic before they stink up the place.
Third suggestion is that you suggest to the landlord that he hire an exterminator. After all, he is the landlord so getting rid of vermin and varmints is his job. You might want to do the research so you can suggest an exterminator that 1) will get the job done (i.e. kill the coons and not just shoo them away or whatever) and 2) will find and fix the access so any new coons or other pests or varmints can’t get in the attic.
You should have skinned the poor innocent defenseless thing and made a Coon Skinned Cap out of him/her/it instead of letting it go to waste in a trash can somewhere. When wearing it and when the Copfucks showed up just tell em “Racoon? I don’t know nothing about no racoon!”. This would have easily have qualified you as the modern day “Davy Crockett” and the TBP “King of the Wild Frontier”.
Never let the prospect of a good Coon Skinned Cap go to waste!
I wonder if the local game warden will pay you a visit. After all, the state owns all animals in its jurisdiction, but it’s Joisey so YMMV.
Q1-Good job on both counts. That’s what you get for living in Joisey. Get out while you still can. Not a problem shooting around here except for safety. Houses in line of sight dont make for happy neighbors.
The house finally sold so will be moving even farther away from any neighbors. There’s a place with 26 wooded acres surrounding a nice but small house about 40 miles west we’re going to look at tomorrow. Life is good.
Q2-The only time I called cops on a neighbor was when reason & logic did nothing. She had 8 fucking chihuahuas, 10 chickens, a rooster that crowed in the dark, & an ostrich right next door. The houses were maybe 10 ft. apart & I couldn’t sleep for more than an hour or 2 between noise episodes. She was cited & had to get rid of all the animals but 2 dogs.
Q3-Statute of limitations.
Q1. Vermin are vermin, no harm (to humans) no foul.
Q2. No, probably would have bought you a beer as well.
Q3. I was living in Germantown, a snooty suburb just east of Memphis. There was an accident / obstruction, had to turn off my normal commute and wound up in south Memphis, bad territory. Black cop pulled me over and asked What are you doing here? I’m lost, I said, trying to get back to Poplar Avenue (main drag). He said, The only white folks I see around here are looking for hookers or drugs, which is it? I’m not after either, just trying to go home. OK then, take a left here ….. and don’t be slow, after dark it can get ugly around here. Really, tough neighborhood? It’s a rare night I don’t catch somebody, be it drug dealer, junkie, whore or thief. Don’t be one and don’t come back. You got it, thanks! and I was gone.
I always knew you were a mass murderer in the making.This is how all of them get started.Killing helpless little animals , watching and masterbating to Porn.
I will for pray your soul , Stucky.
bb
You are a true friend, praying for me. Please say an additional 1000 prayers to Our Blessed Virgin, for things are worse than you know …
…. sometimes I jerk off to Bunny Porn!
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Fixed it for you
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Cool. Thanks. I mean, really, isn’t that sexy as hell?
Shit. I gotta go take care of, ummmm, business. Be right back. really
Should take it easy on ol’ bb. Posting pictures like that when man just got some plumbing done could result in a blown gasket. Or worse…
Best to keep it PG
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As for the questions
It would be
No.
No.
I can’t think of any right now but I’ll get back to you later if I do…
When I first got my rabbits here, I was intrigued by their mating behavior. My first buck somehow managed to hurt his neck (a condition called wry neck) and was unable to straighten his head. I didn’t think it mattered… after all, he wasn’t using his HEAD.
Well, the does would NOT have him on them and they actually would put their butts into the corner and refuse to let him mount. He would try to hump their heads and push them away from the wall, but the doe is quite a bit bigger, so no luck at all.
l tried several times, but the doe(s) got braver and braver until they finally began to mount and hump HIM.
That is when I visited another local bunny maker and bought the buck I have now out of his “recycle” cage. I told him I needed a sire and he told me to find one with both his testicles and I could buy him for ten dollars.
Yeah… I felt around and counted two, handed the guy a ten dollar bill and “Scrapper” got busy as soon as I got him home and acclimated to being in his own cage. The guy had all his “discard” bucks in a cage together and they fight… trying to tear each other’s testicles out. Rabbits are vicious if you understand their mating behavior.
I actually filmed the event a few times because it is really hilarious to watch. Scrapper is still with me and he performs well… it is just that Shirley Godbunny either miscarried or he was shooting blanks this spring.
And, yes… the first buck went into the stewpot and was canned. His name was Brer.
Geeze you actually give a name to what goes in the pot… I would not want to mess with you.
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Oh, you know I gotta go find my Bunny Porn videos now.
Nothin funny about killin. If you got to do it to eat, OK. How about I took a 2×4 to your shit for brain head? That would be the longest minute of your life. Pain is relative, a lot more relative if it involves you. Funny how you religious motherfuckers embrace death.
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Try filling a big trash can (after dark so assholes don’t see) about 18″ with water, put some rotten meat in it, lean a 2X12 by 8 ft on the trash can. Before sunrise, bury the dead animals that killed themselves. You can find more sophisticated ways to kill coons on Youtube.
Your problem was that you got caught, but you shrewdly denied everything.
Keep an eye out for Miss Vegan or anyone else setting food out for the coons….and some night slide a jumbo shrimp down their defroster duct.
A Raccoon’s face looks a lot like a small poodle, except Raccoons don’t bark at shit. I’ve never wanted to beat the living fuck out of a Raccoon but I sure as hell have wanted to out of a little poodle. I really think all annoying little dogs should be put to death. Israel and annoying little dogs…the world would be such a better place without both.
I think you’re an asshole for killing that critter, Stucky. It wasn’t threatening you and you had nothing to benefit from it’s death. Your excuse that they are causing damage to the place you live is bullshit. They are not small animals and would be easy to keep out, but then you don’t own the place so it really isn’t your concern. You just did it because you could, which means you are no different from any other murderer. I think it’s really true that there is a small distance from killing an animal for no good reason and killing a human. You either rejoice in life and the beauty of it or you gain a perverted sense of power by ending it. I go out of my way to avoid stepping on bugs on the sidewalk, but that’s me and I’d rather be me than you. If I could I would make you eat every scrap of flesh from it.
When I was a kid one of my chores on the farm was to feed the hogs some ears of corn in the morning before school. A damn Groundhog started stealing ears from the corn crib. After about a week of this and noticing he was being quite greedy, I decided to take him out. Next morning I loaded my Dad’s 38 Police special and shot him clean between the eyes!!
As a joke, I stuck him on a rock my Dad would see when he came home from work. He gotta good laugh out of it.
” … there’s two things I dislike about you, your unbelief and copfukery.” …… Asshole Without Brains
You forgot the third thing …. I’m in your head!
I have plenty of belief. What ties your girlie panties in knots is that I don’t believe in YOUR ridiculous tribal version of your Sky Daddy. . Of course, this gives me tremendous pleasure. There are many here who find your brand of religiosity utterly ridiculous. Why not unleash your vitriol on them? Because I’m in your head!! Hahaha
Copfuks only and always are beholden to the State. Your “rights” mean nothing to them. Oppose them, even peacefully, over the demands of the State, and they won’t think twice before putting a bullet between your eyes.
That you worship such vile authority is no surprise. You already worship your vile and putrid version of a corrupted Sky Daddy.
I invented “copfuk” …. and now you’re using it!! Haha.
More and more people here rightfully understand that copfuks are a serious danger to this society. Just read the copfuk stories in this thread. Or, read Admin’s copfuk story regarding Catalonia. You don’t have the balls to go after Admin, or anyone else. Why? Because I am in your head.
Sorry (not really) to rip you a new asshole all the time. But … it’s so damned easy.
You might consider seeing a psychiatrist. Cuz I ain’t never gonna stop with my copfukery or J. Hobah rants, ya Putz.
You’re the bigger danger to society, as has been adequately demonstrated.
And you’ll be held accountable for your lies, regardless of your beliefs.
Beyond that, I couldn’t care less about you or anything about you.
“Where do you want to spend eternity?”
—— Asshole Without Brains
Wherever you’re not …. because wherever you are, THAT would be HELL.
Seriously, folks, can you imagine spending eternity in the same space as Asshole Without Brains? Can you??? Of course you can’t. Some things are much too horrible to think about.
I’ve already got that covered for you, although, I look forward (not really) to checking in on you from time to time. You don’t have to worry one bit about sharing space with me for one moment, much less eternity. I don’t doubt you’re saved, but with respect to rubbing elbows, not going to happen. Even so, it’s not my call, either. YOYO, herr stookfook. Hoisted by your own petard. Stand clear!
You’re still an asshole and a pussy as well. Never once have I asked Admin to remove an offensive post and I never will.
PS. Fuck you.
I commend you for taking the thing out. I currently have a few knocking my garbage can over routinely. I may try the poison up the tree trick, or the water in the barrel trick.
Neighbour across the street shot a black bear in his back yard. Fucker was knocking all the garbage cans over and eating all the fruit trees. Fat fucker broke my cherry tree.
We all heard the shot, no one called anyone. That was before everyone had their noses up everyone’s asshole.
Just for you, Stuckmeister… try to contain your excitement.
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Hold on…lemme get off the phone
If I can’t get this video linked here, I will email it to Someone else to share. Our internet connection here is pisspoor at best and intermittent when it works. I would add (Exede doesn’t guarantee its signal strength nor data usage availability but since they are really about the ONLY show in town here, they don’t give a fuck. It is called Oligopoly, folks and that is what all of our services are now. Media, News, cable providers, bankers… you name it and they gotcha where they want you.)
Is why I am on the computer and phone less and less and less. However, I do want to share this successful mating of my bunnies with Stuck. It was a record for Scrapper and Shirley… less than ten seconds.
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send it to me maggie and I will post..
I tried…
Killing one coon doesn’t make you worse than Hitler, you moron!
Your position regarding truth and your lies make you worse than Hitler. Jews were and are hated through out Europe. It’s only been since the turn of the 20th century through the efforts of the money changers that has changed.
Which lies are you going to believe? I’ll stick to the truth of God’s word as revealed in the canon, of which you evidently know little. You’ll get no sympathy from you, as you willfully deny God, and encourage others to do so. You’ll be held doubly accountable, as you well know, and yet you persist. Rather, you have my pity.
When the hurricane downpour ends and our internet is online RiNS will get the bunny video. I just made a new one special for TBP. Titillating Bunny Porn.