If you knew you had a short time left to live, would you do anything differently? The movie, “Bucket List” highlighted how two men came to terms with their impending demise and went on quite an adventure before they “kicked the bucket”.
Longtime friend Kirk B. sent me an article published in the Watauga Democrat, “Between 65 and death”, offering 21 points of advice. We then enjoyed a great phone conversation.
Kirk’s had some near-death experiences; the subject is near and dear to both of us.
The Social Security website offers a Life Expectancy Calculator to estimate when your day will come:
“According to data we compiled:
- A man reaching age 65 today can expect to live, on average, until age 84.3.
- A woman turning age 65 today can expect to live, on average, until age 86.6.
And those are just averages. About one out of every four 65-year-olds today will live past age 90, and one out of 10 will live past age 95.”
I’ve lived 2/3 of the gap between age 65 and 84.3. My grandmother died two months before her 100th birthday and my mother’s twin sister lived to be over 100. I prefer to enjoy life without knowing or fretting about when the end will come. I’d just as soon the Good Lord surprises me!
I feel like the guy who fell off the roof of a 100-story building. As he passed the 75th floor, he hollered, “so far, so good!”
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75+ years old and counting….
I want to elaborate on some of the observations and add a couple of my own.
Finances
Points 1 & 2 deal with financial issues. Some tidbits:
“It’s time to use the money you saved up. Use it and enjoy it. Don’t just keep it for those who may have no notion of the sacrifices you made to get it….
Stop worrying about the financial situation of your children and grandchildren, and don’t feel bad spending your money on yourself.
…. You gave them an education, food, shelter, and support. The responsibility is now theirs to earn their own money.”
That sounds lovely; however, there is a flaw.
The Motley Fool tells us, “Older Americans Are More Afraid of Running Out of Money Than Death”. Where is the balance between enjoying life and going broke?
The old rule was, “Live off the interest and never touch the principal”. Today many seniors can’t do that and have to tap into their savings just to pay the bills.
| While “tomorrow is promised to no one”, you better plan for tomorrow. No one I know wants to become economically dependent on others. |
Point #13 is contradictory:
“Don’t surrender the temptation of living with your children or grandchildren (if you have a financial choice, that is). Sure, being surrounded by family sounds great, but we all need our privacy. They need theirs and you need yours.”
The Pew Research Center tells us, “A record 60.6 million Americans live in multigenerational households.” The numbers are growing:
Living in close proximity to your children has many advantages. It allows both generations to maintain their independence, privacy, and space while allowing for help when it becomes necessary. Moving in on a permanent basis is something entirely different.
I’m sure there are many exceptions where families have enjoyed all living under one roof. My biggest fear? It’s probably an irrevocable decision – what if you or your children really became unhappy?
Absolutely enjoy life and don’t feel guilty spending money on yourself – with moderation.
| Who wants to move in with their children, give up clicker control, and lose their independence? Hang in there as long as your health and finances allow you to do so! |
Aging issues
Point #17 hit close to home:
“Pain and discomfort go hand in hand with getting older. Try not to dwell on them (emphasis mine) but accept them as a part of the cycle of life…. Try to minimize them in your mind. …. If they become your entire focus, you lose sight of the person you used to be.”
With each passing day, little things happen that remind you that you are not as young as you used to be. Aches and pains are part of the deal. Take plenty of Tylenol and hot baths and accept it as part of aging. It sure beats the alternative.
Emotional issues
Point #6 & #12 go hand in hand:
“Regardless of age, always keep love alive. (Emphasis mine) Love your partner, love life, love your family, love your neighbor and remember: “A man is not old as long as he has intelligence and affection.”
Some people embrace their golden years, while others become bitter and surly. Life is too short to waste your days on the latter.”
My wife Jo recently had eye surgery. For a few weeks, she could only see out of one eye. As we headed toward a restaurant she startled me when she reached for my hand. I looked at her and she broke into a huge smile. I held her hand as she stepped over the parking bumper, up over the curb and we had a wonderful dinner.
I don’t care how old I get, looking into her eyes and having her break into a huge smile still melts my heart.
Here’s a few of my own
- Don’t push the emotional burden of your loneliness off on your children.
The UK, Independent reports on a study, “Your Parents Live Longer The More Time You Spend With Them….” They discussed loneliness:
“The study, Loneliness in Older Persons, studied 1,600 adults with an average age of 71. …. Nearly 23 percent of lonely participants died within six years of the study, compared to only 14 percent of those that reported experiencing adequate levels of companionship.
…. Loneliness is a significant factor in the decline of quality of life in older adults and could lead to depression, cognitive impairment and other health problems like coronary artery disease.”
If seniors keep active with their hobbies, card clubs, church, bingo, pot-luck dinners and other activities, (unless you are a member of the surly-bitter club) you should have plenty of friends your own age to play with.
There are plenty of places where you can find and make friends your own age who have similar hobbies and interests.
| Take responsibility for your own happiness and avoid becoming emotionally dependent on your children. |
- Look for the little things that make a difference.
– Kiss your spouse goodnight.
– Thank them for the little things.
– Compliment them in front of others.
– Look for opportunities to help.
A high school classmate was a fireman and lost his life when a building collapsed. Another classmate had to tell his wife what happened. The first thing she said was, “Oh no, I forget to kiss him goodbye and tell him I loved him this morning!” What a sad story. Never take anything for granted.
Jo’s eye surgery was an emotional jolt for me. I’d become complacent.
Without being asked, I decided to help out with chores she has done for years. While she recovered nicely, I’m continuing to try to do little things. It’s funny when I forget to pick up after myself or clean the bathroom mirror she is no longer mentioning it.
- Eliminate the Bickersons.
Point #12 also says:
“Spend your time with positive, cheerful people, it’ll rub off on you and your days will seem that much better.
Spending your time with bitter people will make you older and harder to be around.” (Emphasis mine)
Unfortunately, some couples turn into the Bickersons, always sniping at each other and (sometimes vociferously) complaining about their spouse regularly. They are not fun to be around. What’s sad is they don’t realize they are doing it.
Have you ever seen a person verbally abuse their spouse in a public setting? It’s followed by silence, everyone exchanging glances and cringing. It makes little difference if the abusive partner fawns over their spouse later, what gets remembered is how uncomfortable everyone felt.
- Laugh a lot – at your expense.
I spent many years in front of audiences throughout the world. You can laugh by poking fun at others, but you run the risk of causing some people to silently cringe. No one complains when you laugh at yourself.
Humor and laughter are good for the soul. Think about the times you come home and comment, “I had a really good time.” There is a good chance you laughed yourself silly.
Some of the best laughs come from silly stuff that are part of aging. Others can relate while laughing and nodding their head.
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Perspective
One of the advantages of rounding life’s fourth turn is the ability to put things in perspective.
Most of us don’t sweat the small stuff like we used to while keeping the important things in perspective. We seem to surround ourselves with people with similar interests and values and truly enjoy each other’s company.
I’m told that humans are the only species of animals that know they will die. Jo tells about taking her 21-year-old (cancer-ridden) dog to the vet to be put to sleep. He wagged his tail until his very last breath. I hope to be able to do the same, enjoying life until the very end.
And Finally…
“If you always protect your offspring in a cocoon they will never learn how to fly…”
For more information, check out my website or follow me on FaceBook.
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Until next time…
Dennis
www.MillerOnTheMoney.com
From SS site – I’m (68) supposed to live 16.2 years more, age 84 . I would like to see the end of the 4th Turning, however, I don’t look forward to being older with more health problems – that usually come with old age.
Dear Dutchman,
In a few days I will turn 78. I can speak from my experience.
I’ve observed that seniors who get regular, age appropriate checkups, have a much better shot at beating the longevity odds. Things like skin cancer, prostate cancer, etc. are now being diagnosed and treated before they can advance too far.
While the stats won’t show in the short term, my guess is the longevity for those who stay on top of things is much better.
Best regards,
Dennis Miller
Dennis – I’m married 47 years. 3 is the number of consecutive days that I can be at home. I’m a computer scientist – I plan on working until the day before I die.
Great article!
Hi,
I do not sell financial products or services. I have some affiliates that our readers may buy from that help us offset our costs. We have a couple educational reports that are priced very inexpensively.
Our mission is simple, to continue to educate. I’ve had many wonderful mentors in my life and I am at the age where I’m trying to give back. Our blog has been up and running for almost three years and I’ve yet to come close to breaking even, it’s an expensive hobby. I’m blessed to have a wonderful group of readers and followers who help out where they can.
Much like The Burning Platform, many actually donate money to help keep us going.
If that is offensive to you, I’m sorry.
Regards,
Dennis Miller
Huh! Why would I be offended?
Hi,
There was a (now deleted) post that was critical of my mentioning some of my affiliates and promoting their products. My post was in response to that….which is now gone.
Regards,
Dennis
Dennis
Stucky is messing with you. He deleted his comment, which automatically deleted your response.
Dennis
Don’t mind Stucky. He gets ornery when he hasn’t masturbated for a couple days.
practice positivitieness:>:>
You just have to figure out how to stay healthy and not run out of money. No problem!!
See Stucky I not the only one concerned about your sexual fantasies. Now go to your room big boy .You know what to Do Next.
I’m not at that age yet, but found the article to be a great one regardless of age. It’s hard for me to imagine Social Security/MediCare/Aid being around in any real form 20years from now. It’s hard to focus on investments for people like me that believe firmly that the US Titanic will most definitely collapse within 20yrs. I have a hard time seeing us get past next decade with all the debt, alzheimers, obesity, and mostly static income for the great majority. Also I can’t see how we continue to support a massive welfare state to boot. IF it still exists in some form, my guess is it buys me a loaf of bread and maybe some milk. For those of us that are going to hit old age in the 2030’s+ I just don’t have a drop of optimism for the system to be stable that long.
Mathematically it’s not even possible, politically its not possible either, people vote for hope no matter how irrational. No one is going to vote for steep cuts to all these systems people depend on. The younger folks might start getting a bit more pissed off as well if Medicare and SS age starts moving toward the mid 70’s to try and keep the system afloat. Clearly Dems and Reps spend funny money like its going out of style and there is only so much one can do when the very monetary sytem you are part of is rigged to collapse. We are on the downside of the curve, but its not too bad yet for those that made OK money were planful and weren’t too unlucky. But anyway, the article highlights alot of truths about life in general and I can get behind that. Life is short and its an interesting ride,” enjoy the the journey not the destination” makes more sense to me every year that goes by.
I echo your sentiments Bubbah…
I liked the piece except for this: “With each passing day, little things happen that remind you that you are not as young as you used to be. Aches and pains are part of the deal. Take plenty of Tylenol and hot baths and accept it as part of aging.”
Too much Tylenol (Acetaminophen) damages your liver. As you get older your liver is more worn out and the more likely it is for Tylenol to damage your liver. Many over the counter and pharmaceutical medications contain Tylenol so it is easy to take too much. People also have a tendency to not pay attention to how much Tylenol they are taking because it is over the counter so they believe that it is harmless. Tylenol can kill you.
Many of ya’ll are intelligent educated Conservatives but are not showing evidence that you have awoken to the fact that the Earth will go into at least a Little Ice Age for about 30 years and that will overwhelm all status quo plans; some crop failures could begin to appear Fall of 2019. The ZOG knows this and Global Warming is their Fake Science Plan to maximize that the number of Useful Idiots are unprepared and will starve and freeze to death. The Oligarchs are busy with their Agendas, FEMA Plans, DUMBs, anti-Gun Laws, etc. If you don’t factor this Grand Solar Minimum and the ZOG’s NWO Conspiracy into your plans, you’re plans will fail spectacularly. Vaya con Dios.
It snowed again last night, fifth one this month. A little ice age seems far more likely than global warming, but I only deal with one season at a time.
Memento mori, baby. It’s amazing we get life at all, best to remember that you are always one breath away from eternity.
I have a fair amount of experience with pain and I have also learned this- pain is a reminder that we ill used some part of our body and we should take care of it. People who look to avoid pain often cause greater problems for themselves in the long run by mitigating it. It is a means of measuring our limitations and if you can learn to bear it, like all things it, too will go away in the end. Living with it builds character and it won’t kill you.
So there’s that.
I’m a widower, age 83. I’ve pretty much set things up so I get along quite well with Alfred E. Neuman. 😀
Worthless article along with the comments
So what does that say about you that not only did you read something you considered worthless but you wasted your and our time with this worthless comment?