You know those terrible “Flatizzas” Subway makes? After ordering one without the sauce (because “I can’t eat that stuff”), Bevalente Michette Hall called the police. She was later jailed for three minutes on a $2,000 bail for her efforts.
See more at the Fail Blog
OBG
I feel like that dude on the forklift.
Brett Kavanaugh home movies from when he was a toddler.
Bought a new Ram Tri-Flex fuel truck recently.
Will run on hydrogen, gasoline, or E85.
Had to return to the dealer. Couldn’t get the radio to work.
Service tech said it’s voice activated. Then demonstrated it for me.
“Nelson” he says.
Radio speakers said “Willie or Ricky?”
“Willie.” he says, and On The Road Again starts playing.
“Stop. Re-scan. Ray Charles”
…on comes Georgia on My Mind.
I drove away happy.
Next few days, I’d say “Mozart”, to hear the best classical ever.
Or “Beatles”, and I’d hear one of their random classics.
Yesterday, a female ran a red, and almost T-boned me.
I swerved, and yelled “Crazy bitch!”
Audio system asks: “Clinton or Pelosi?”
I love my new truck.
Guess it doesn’t know Buckcherry, though.
take-II…
Late October, a taxi hack picks up a nun, in full habit.
Cabbie keeps staring at his passenger.
“What’s on your mind, son?” she asks.
“Forgive me, but I’ve always had a secret desire to kiss a nun.” he says.
“Well, perhaps I can fulfill your longing, but only under 2 conditions…you must be single, and Catholic.”
“I AM single, and attend St. Patrick’s Cathedral every Sunday, sister.”
“OK, then, pull out of traffic, and find an alley.”
He parks, climbs into the back seat, and she plants a smooch on the cabbie that’d make a hooker blush.
He smiles, and resumes the cab ride.
After a few minutes, he starts sniffling.
“What’s wrong, my son?”
He says: “I’ve sinned. I lied to you. I’m married, and I’m Jewish. Please forgive me.”
She says, “Aww, that’s ok.
My name is really Kevin, and I’m headed to a Halloween party in Manhattan.”
Good jokes as always. I just couldn’t get the “Down by the Sea-an eel bites your knee” song out of my head for a few days..
That was ironic, cuz one of your gifs was a throng of eels on shore in the same FF.
Love the critter gifs, as always.
Fat cat under the door was amazing.
Little hammer man was pretty funny, too.
Laughed out loud at the moron with floor jack. Karma’s a bitch.
Funniest ones for me are the brothers who soil themselves, the result of some prank.
Have a good weekend, brother.
Edit: now I see the shovel. It’s not a floor jack. Doh!
-didn’t have my eyeglasses on 1st view.
and a belated thanks to Uncola and V squared for their kind remarks on the last FF
I 2nd that.
DL and Vavoom are good peeps.
Shout out to Bob P for the kudos, too, last weeks Failures / Funnies
-the 3rd L;
yapping way back behind the big dog L’s… El C, & El Poh
And, I’d be remiss if I din’t mention my good bud RiNS.
cheers
Ludgar, the War Wolf..King of the Trebuchets
Shouldn’t it be ‘BAMBERLAMPS’ on the ambulance?
The legacy of Obama immigration policy:
good stuff; let the weekend commence!
Thanks fellows . Some good laughs!
be safe out there on the road, beebs.
The racist note reportedly left on the door of a black Kansas State student was NOT done by a Trump supporting White Supremacist but was actually…wait for it…placed there by the student himself.
Thanks Admit for all the Friday Fails. And to Nkit for the great animals giffs. And all others who gave funny jokes.