Thoughts On Southern Identity

Guest Post by The Zman

Southern identity is one of those things most people think they can define without too much trouble. After all, there are so many southern stereotypes popularized by Hollywood that you are spoiled for choice. If you think poorly of the South, then you can go with the snaggle-toothed redneck in overalls and no shirt. If you hold romantic notions about the South, then there is the smooth and courtly southern gentleman, who makes the ladies blush. Of course, there is everything in between.

In reality, those types we get from popular culture are caricatures of old realities, more than anything based in present reality. In the major population centers in the modern South, you will be hard pressed to find the snaggle-toothed redneck or the courtly southern gentleman. Instead, it is mostly middle-class suburban people living better than most of the country. The quality of life in the modern South is much higher than most of the country, which is why so many are moving there.

Of course, the South has never been monolithic. Georgia has a different culture than South Carolina, because it has a different origin story. Parts of North Carolina are more like Virginia, while other parts are more like Appalachia. Again, this is due to the people who settled these areas. While Southern identity has largely been bordered by slavery and the Civil War, even within that framework there was a great deal of diversity in the South, going back to the beginning. Southern culture is diversity.

Then there is the fact the South has always been home to a large black population with its own identity and origin story. Despite what northern historians claim, blacks have always been a part of Southern identity. In the rest of the country, blacks are a tolerated add-on population. A black person raised in Boston would never call himself a Bostonian, while a black raised in the South is going to identify as Southern. It is a different sense of identity than a white person from the South, but not alien.

Compounding the natural diversity of the South in the current age is the large number of foreigners that have moved to the South in the past few decades. From the perspective of the natives, it is hard to say which is worse, the migrant laborers from over the horizon or the economic migrants from the rest of the country. The former seems to have more respect for the locals than the latter and they generally have the decency not to vote in local elections. Still, both are now a part of the South.

Unlike white identity, Southern identity, as a cultural and political movement, has another problem. There have been prior efforts to forge a politics in the South, all of which have failed for various regions. As a result, Southern identity carries with it a stigma that is hard to shake. Efforts to organize today, inevitably have to deal with the old guys from the past showing up wanting to revitalize their thing, rather than embrace something new and based in present reality. The South still has ghosts.

All that said, the South is going to be on the cutting edge of identity politics, even if it struggles to forge a new identity. Georgia is 55% white, with a large black population spoiling for a chance to hold the whip hand over whites. Florida is 56% white with a swelling population of Caribbeans. Texas is already minority white and the flood of migrants is making it more so. It is in the South that white identity, regional identity and identity politics will be the defining issues in the very near future.

How this breaks out is hard to know. There are people with ideas about it, like the folks at Identity Dixie, with whom I did an interview recently. They are in many ways the New South, in that they are college educated, middle-class guys. As I like to put it, the new Southern man has a pickup truck, but it cost sixty grand, has leather seats and the bed has only ever seen his kid’s toys and his golf clubs. If it has a bumper sticker on it on, it is for parking at his office building or maybe his golf club.

When thinking about Southern identity, a good place to start would be the world of William Faulkner. A century ago, the changing nature of the South was the displacement of the old gentry with the decedents of white plantation workers and dirt farmers. The old aristocracy was giving way to a cruder, more cunning and less culturally ambitious breed of Southerner. The Snopes family was the new South, not invested in any romantic notions of the past, beyond what could profit them.

What seems to be happening today is a reverse of that. The people in the new Southern identity movements are like the guys at Identity Dixie. They are smart and educated, working in the modern economy. They have a connection to that old sense of Southern identity like the Compson family in the Faulkner novels, but they are not haunted by it. It is in the South where a native archeofuturism is forming up, where the past informs the present, as they develop an identity for the future.

It is hard to know where this goes. It is in the South where the homogenization and financialization of America is most obvious. Vast developments of identical houses, with Potemkin “town centers” populated by strangers from all over the earth, is just as much a part of the New South as anything else. If someone had moved away from the Charlotte area thirty years ago and returned for the first time today, they would be in a foreign country. Even NASCAR is different from the recent past.

How a Southern identity grows out of that is hard to know, especially one that is not reactionary. If the new sense of Southern identity is going to avoid the fate of prior efforts, it will have to be positive, rather than negative. When a group identity is based on opposition to some other group, it is not something to carry a people forward. It is their long retreat into the oblivion of history. Whatever comes next for Southern identity will have to avoid that mistake and be forward looking and independent.

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168 Comments
Diogenes’ Dung
Diogenes’ Dung
May 16, 2019 12:14 pm

I bes ‘positive’ that ya’lls gots a purdy mouth.

Mygirl...maybe
Mygirl...maybe
  Diogenes’ Dung
May 16, 2019 4:51 pm

Nice try, but you can’t seem to get the proper dialectic going. Ya’ll is plural and singular, no ‘s’ required. Ditto for ‘be’ no ‘s’ there either. Here’s some real banjo for your purdy mouth….

Diogenes’ Dung
Diogenes’ Dung
  Mygirl...maybe
May 16, 2019 9:14 pm

Deep in Akinsaw’s backwoods, the term was yous’n for plural ya’ll sufficed for both. Among my momma’s inbred Hinson and Olsen relatives, I heard many a butchered s.

Like them, proper dialect never figured much fer me whin rit’n.

What? You the only one with the right to be a work in progress, chiseled out of dried shit by multiple identities you hint at owning?

I own mine proudly. It’s my moniker; Dung being plural.

Mygirl...maybe
Mygirl...maybe
  Diogenes’ Dung
May 16, 2019 9:43 pm

Dang…you chose your moniker well.

M G
M G
  Mygirl...maybe
May 17, 2019 4:00 am

Granny Fannie said “Youins kiddos need to get yore shoes on iffin youins wanna go ter town.”

Diogenes’ Dung
Diogenes’ Dung
  M G
May 17, 2019 11:52 am

Dang, I’ve been hunting Granny Fanny on eWhoremoney.

Wrong neck of the woods, I guess.

Miles Long
Miles Long
May 16, 2019 12:36 pm

All that bad negative, toothless, ignerunt stuff is true. All y’all stay where you are. You wont like it down here, except maybe Florida.

Diogenes’ Dung
Diogenes’ Dung
  Miles Long
May 16, 2019 12:54 pm

Got gator?

Grog
Grog
  Diogenes’ Dung
May 16, 2019 1:40 pm

Gator’s gone.
RIP Burt
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Diogenes’ Dung
Diogenes’ Dung
  Grog
May 16, 2019 2:50 pm

Burt’d be tough eat’n.

Gitcherself a, young, tender, 5 footer and you’ll never eat chicken again.

https://youtu.be/uZhnpAhYmb0

Unless you are Jim, whose also gone.

RIP, Jim.

When you come home you can eat, pork and beans
I eats mo’ chicken, any man seen

Mygirl...maybe
Mygirl...maybe
  Miles Long
May 16, 2019 1:33 pm

yep. bad here, stay away…rattlesnakes
n gators….

robert h siddell jr
robert h siddell jr
  Miles Long
May 16, 2019 5:20 pm

Make it South Florida if ya don’t mind.

Coalclinker
Coalclinker
  Miles Long
May 16, 2019 7:54 pm

If you’re an environmentalist from up North (they all believe in GoreBull Warming), you will hate Kentucky, for there’s a good chance you’ll be smelling phenol and sulfur odors all winter from the coal your neighbor burns to keep warm.

Vixen Vic
Vixen Vic
  Coalclinker
May 18, 2019 2:17 am

Exactly, so keep out of the South.

Southern Sage
Southern Sage
May 16, 2019 2:37 pm

Great article!

lone wolf
lone wolf
May 16, 2019 2:42 pm

Ya’ll won’t like our women none neither!… ; )

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Diogenes’ Dung
Diogenes’ Dung
  lone wolf
May 16, 2019 2:51 pm

Sum TASTY Gator Tail!

Diogenes’ Dung
Diogenes’ Dung
  Diogenes’ Dung
May 16, 2019 4:07 pm

“Now, dahlin’, toss dat lure waaaaaay out yonder wit yer next cast. ”

“Prolly havta git it over them thar power lines.”

“I promise to resuckataste ya soon as ya quit twitchin’!”

lone wolf
lone wolf
  Diogenes’ Dung
May 16, 2019 6:20 pm

Ma’am… That sho is a nice ass, i’mean bass!

WestcoastDeplorable
WestcoastDeplorable
  lone wolf
May 16, 2019 10:27 pm

You nasty boy!

BL
BL
May 16, 2019 3:20 pm

ONLY real southerners understand the south. Yankee dipshits can write all day about “southern identity”, they don’t know their butt from a hole in the ground.

Seems to me a LOT of Yankees in the TBP community would like to relocate to the south, that tells you something. THE SOUTH WAS AND ALWAYS HAS BEEN RIGHT!! Keep up the insults you Yankee Rabble and WE will build a wall to keep YOU out. (or just shoot your ass off if you cross the Mason- Dixon Line to save some Benjamins)

downeasthillbilly
downeasthillbilly
  BL
May 16, 2019 3:29 pm

Yankees, damned Yankees and hemorrhoids, but I still married one

Diogenes’ Dung
Diogenes’ Dung
  downeasthillbilly
May 16, 2019 4:14 pm

Think that’s fucked up? The mother of my two daughters is a Texas Jew born in New York.

My daughters used to perform a hilarious skit, singing in natural southern accents, about being Texas Mountain Jews. I’d laugh beer out of my nose.

Coalclinker
Coalclinker
  Diogenes’ Dung
May 16, 2019 7:44 pm

Benjamin Judah was the Secretary of the Treasury in the Confederate States of America.

Mygirl...maybe
Mygirl...maybe
  BL
May 16, 2019 4:42 pm

hear, hear….I’m a southern/texas gal and I second what BL wrote

Mygirl...maybe
Mygirl...maybe
  Mygirl...maybe
May 16, 2019 5:29 pm

little deep south…more banjo…I loves me some banjo

Diogenes’ Dung
Diogenes’ Dung
  Mygirl...maybe
May 16, 2019 7:26 pm

Straight outta my eWhoremony profile:

I LIKE listening to

Bass from a broom handle twined to a tub,
backing up a fiddle, banjo, washboard and harp =
me dancing

Mygirl...maybe
Mygirl...maybe
  Diogenes’ Dung
May 16, 2019 7:45 pm

DD: I don’t give two buckets of spit bout what you like or think, It’s what I like that counts to me. You don’t like banjo? Tough. Go fill your eharmony profile with your hardbody old spice squat thrust baby face filler channeling god and cthulu verbiage and vamoose.Don’t need your downer vibe, man.

Diogenes’ Dung
Diogenes’ Dung
  Mygirl...maybe
May 16, 2019 9:25 pm

Well, if that ain’t Jeebus fuk’n a cockroach! I love banjo!

Should I get fetch you a half-rack of sanity pads or a mop?

Mygirl...maybe
Mygirl...maybe
  Diogenes’ Dung
May 16, 2019 9:40 pm

You can shove the pad in your mouth and soak your head in the bucket…

Diogenes’ Dung
Diogenes’ Dung
  Mygirl...maybe
May 16, 2019 9:55 pm

I don’t have to give you an engagement ring first?

Mygirl...maybe
Mygirl...maybe
  Diogenes’ Dung
May 16, 2019 10:25 pm

Is what we’re doing a TBP romance thing? If so then we need to set the date and let the folks know about the impending festivities….

Diogenes’ Dung
Diogenes’ Dung
  Mygirl...maybe
May 16, 2019 11:27 pm

bein’ a Southern Gentleman an all, I’d be obliged to follow your lead in these matters, as soon as I ask your daddy, Mistico, if I can have your hand for my own personal use.

True story:

Dad was a LCDR on the William V. Pratt, a guided missile destroyer stationed at Mayport, FL in 1970, when a young Lieutenant asked him for my older sister’s hand in marriage.

Asking a father’s permission is a tradition that has lasted longer in the south than anywhere else in this country, and my father was as southern as anyone ever has been. As salty and tough as any sailor too; an E-8 nightmare for shitbirds before he was commissioned.

His answer is redneck sailor gospel.

“Jay, I’m happy to welcome you into our family but you cannot fuck my daughter. That’s an order.”

Mygirl...maybe
Mygirl...maybe
  Diogenes’ Dung
May 16, 2019 11:46 pm

Your daddy had a salty sense of humor. I ascribe to asking permission for a woman’s hand, Daddy’s know best. What plans do you have for my hand?

Diogenes’ Dung
Diogenes’ Dung
  Mygirl...maybe
May 17, 2019 12:22 am

That was misdirection, a tactic I learned to employ at the feet of my Dominatrix.

I’d actually prefer to start with your toes, a place I have learned a great deal, though I’ve no real plans for them.

I have a thing for little piggys that stay home, paint’n an such.

Diogenes’ Dung
Diogenes’ Dung
  Mygirl...maybe
May 17, 2019 12:28 am

Like this delicious little redheaded piggy, from Newport CA, who sent me a smile on eWhoremoney. I gave her the EC lookover:
—————————-

The old wolf loped along a Northwest eHarmony trail, heading south to Mexico. His silver pelt glistening in the forest shade with each easy stride. He was on a fresh, new scent, redolent of spring; flowers, warm earth and farmer’s markets. His eyes weren’t as good as they used to be, but the little light that penetrated the forest refracted off his bald head and illuminated his quarry. “Well. Hellooo OH, OH! Little Red Riding Hood. You are a long, long way from home. Headed for Granny’s house?”
—————————–
“Oh dear…are you going to eat me Mr. Wolf ?”
—————————–
“Hold on just a minute. I’ll have to borrow President Washington’s woodn teeth.”
——————————
“There, that’s better. You appear to be without all your faculties. Please sign this “I consent to Woodn Teeth” form. No, not just yet. We have to wait for a Notary.”

Have I reinvented dating, or What?

Mygirl...maybe
Mygirl...maybe
  Diogenes’ Dung
May 17, 2019 1:11 am

..or what…am I a good audience? So when do you want to get married? I opt for sometime after the cast comes off, that will be many weeks from now. I don’t want anything extravagant regarding the wedding, as far as the guests,well, since we’ve been so private I would imagine that only those intimate friends who have been reading the comments should be invited. I like polka music and think we could get a VFW hall fairly inexpensively. A few kegs of Milwaukee’s finest beer and some bratwurst. what do you think?

Mygirl...maybe
Mygirl...maybe
  Mygirl...maybe
May 17, 2019 1:49 am

Mr. Dung? Hello, Mr. Dung..well golly, I wonder where he could have run off to? Hopefully not too far, we still have to decide on the best man, formal wear, reception, music, church, flowers… hmm, here comes the bride, de dum da dum….Sweetums, what do you think about chocolate for the grooms cake?

Diogenes’ Dung
Diogenes’ Dung
  Mygirl...maybe
May 17, 2019 9:48 am

I think waiting for the arm cast to come off is a good idea. I still have PTSD from a girl in 2nd grade who had one and she used to hit me with it if I wouldn’t let her watch me pee.

Nix the formal wear… I want the bass fishin’ lady to be my Best Man and she’s wearing too much already.

I saw some chocolate butt kisses advertised on TBP that can serve double-duty as a display of fart flowers and the Groom’s sugar-goodies.

I like the VFW/bratwurst/beer forum, but the polka – not so much. That your daddy’s, Mistico’s preference? He got a wooden leg ‘r sumptin?

Mygirl...maybe
Mygirl...maybe
  Diogenes’ Dung
May 17, 2019 12:06 pm

a musical interlude for you…darling

Mygirl...maybe
Mygirl...maybe
  Mygirl...maybe
May 17, 2019 12:13 pm

and this is reminder about the perils of cheating hearts

KeyserSusie
KeyserSusie
  Mygirl...maybe
May 17, 2019 2:20 pm

u did it again…

Mygirl...maybe
Mygirl...maybe
  KeyserSusie
May 17, 2019 3:22 pm

heh…

Mygirl...maybe
Mygirl...maybe
  Diogenes’ Dung
May 17, 2019 12:28 pm

polka is my idea, think he’s more into….

Vixen Vic
Vixen Vic
  Mygirl...maybe
May 18, 2019 2:26 am

Milwaukee? I guess I’ll have to BYOB.

Olderndirt
Olderndirt
  Mygirl...maybe
May 16, 2019 8:36 pm

How about a little Heavy Metal Bluegrass by some Alabama boys?

BL
BL
  Mygirl...maybe
May 16, 2019 9:34 pm

MyGirl- That group, The Dead South , is a bunch of Canucks and NOT real southerners…..but I like them. I was first to post them here.

Mygirl...maybe
Mygirl...maybe
  BL
May 16, 2019 10:10 pm

They’re good and…banjo. the video was shot in San Antonio, partly. Had the Tower of the Americas and the Bexar county courthouse in some shots and I can’t keep my feet still when I listen, that’s good stuff.

Miles Long
Miles Long
  Mygirl...maybe
May 16, 2019 9:46 pm

Almost a local band.

Mygirl...maybe
Mygirl...maybe
  subwo
May 16, 2019 11:21 pm

Excellent

Vixen Vic
Vixen Vic
  Mygirl...maybe
May 18, 2019 2:22 am

We also love rock ‘n’ roll in the South.

Vixen Vic
Vixen Vic
  Mygirl...maybe
May 18, 2019 2:22 am

So does this South Carolina gal.

The Modern Chronicler
The Modern Chronicler
  BL
May 17, 2019 9:49 am

“It is in the South where the homogenization and financialization of America is most obvious. Vast developments of identical houses, with Potemkin “town centers” populated by strangers from all over the earth, is just as much a part of the New South as anything else.”

This is very much true. Within the past two years, I visited some suburbs in the outskirts of both Dallas and Atlanta. These developments of cookie-cutter houses are everywhere, many are new, many are being built, and they’re beautiful. Ditto with the strip malls.

I must admit that this is not the image I had of the South, although I’ve admittedly seen very little of the former Confederacy. That said, what I did imagine to be the South: rural, “country,” very small towns, farms, etc… that exists aplenty in the Yankee world. Drive less than an hour north/northwest of New York City and you’d never know the vicissitudes of liberal Manhattan were so very near.

Mygirl...maybe
Mygirl...maybe
  The Modern Chronicler
May 17, 2019 11:44 am

the sad truth is that every tom, dick and harry are moving here…developers and city councils are greedy bastards who could give two shits in a bucket about conservation or historic preservation. i lived in a small town outside of dallas, it got swallowed up and is now one massive and hideously ugly sprawl of outright tacky…folks in the south know ‘tacky’ is an ultimate insult, just like when thy think someone has lost their freaking mind they say ‘bless their hearts.’ an example would be ‘that mr. diogenes dung sure is acting strange over that girl, bless his heart.’

Diogenes’ Dung
Diogenes’ Dung
  Mygirl...maybe
May 17, 2019 12:01 pm

Thank you kindly for your ministry… maybe.

My heart, frequently discarded into and retrieved from Dung piles, needs many blessings. If you could get everyone on TPB to bless my heart, somebody, somewhere, might think twice about shitcanning it.

Have you set a date for our Dallas polka?

Mygirl...maybe
Mygirl...maybe
  Diogenes’ Dung
May 17, 2019 1:25 pm

left dallas years ago…now live in the coastal plains, farmland, little town down the road from me has a vfw hall. i’m a country girl and i’ll bless your heart upside down and sideways each and every sunday if it’ll make you happy. i’ll bless your pointed little heads too…

Mygirl...maybe
Mygirl...maybe
  Mygirl...maybe
May 17, 2019 1:28 pm

head

Diogenes’ Dung
Diogenes’ Dung
  Mygirl...maybe
May 17, 2019 9:35 pm

Yessssss, THAT one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

nkit
nkit
May 16, 2019 3:31 pm

Southern Lady

comment image

comment image

Northern girl

Anonymous
Anonymous
  nkit
May 16, 2019 4:19 pm

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to compliment a southern bud
from a damn Yankee he knows, when common bonds exist.

nkit
nkit
  Anonymous
May 16, 2019 4:33 pm

comment image

Vixen Vic
Vixen Vic
  nkit
May 18, 2019 2:36 am

Don’t believe the propaganda. Women have been drinking (beer and mead) from at least the Middle Ages while pregnant. There was not a problem with smoking while pregnant before the Communists decided there was.

Mygirl...maybe
Mygirl...maybe
  nkit
May 16, 2019 5:44 pm

ok, got the T&A for the guys…. this here’s for the women, southern scotland, another ancestral homeland… and….oh my, check out the lad with his big, big…drum…on the left:)

Coalclinker
Coalclinker
  nkit
May 16, 2019 7:47 pm

“Ticks” up North, especially New York and New Jersey:
comment image?resize=878%2C594&ssl=1

Mygirl...maybe
Mygirl...maybe
  Coalclinker
May 16, 2019 9:34 pm

nasty…

Diogenes’ Dung
Diogenes’ Dung
  Mygirl...maybe
May 16, 2019 9:56 pm

who’re you to call anything nasty?

Mygirl...maybe
Mygirl...maybe
  Diogenes’ Dung
May 16, 2019 10:22 pm

Heh, keep trying, the water’s fine, I’m just gonna lie back and float….either that or go check out the drummer guy again…

Diogenes’ Dung
Diogenes’ Dung
  Mygirl...maybe
May 16, 2019 11:45 pm

only if you’ll float face down

Mygirl...maybe
Mygirl...maybe
  Diogenes’ Dung
May 17, 2019 12:31 am

lie back….you can float face down, now, enough….

M G
M G
  Coalclinker
May 17, 2019 4:29 am

The ticks are unbelievable around here with all the rain and mild temperatures this past winter.

I’ve been on a vigil to keep ticks off the Big Dogs. It’s gotten out of control.

I had Big Jake shaved Wednesday. It took the groomer four hours. Seventy ticks, she said. I wasn’t interested in seeing them.

But, thanks for the disgusting reminder of what the biggest danger to my Gentle Giants has been since we moved here. The JDAWG got erlichnea from them and, eventually, had to be put down because of seizures.

The female Pyr gets her shave today. Another four hours in Cape Girardeau, Missouri, where the river is about to come over the wall.

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Anonymous
Anonymous
  nkit
May 17, 2019 9:01 am

NE big city wacko

Vixen Vic
Vixen Vic
  nkit
May 18, 2019 2:35 am

Luna tic, brilliant.

Martel's Hammer
Martel's Hammer
May 16, 2019 4:51 pm

You forgot the martial tradition of the South which carries on to the present day, with 44% of the US Military made of up of southerners. The officer corps is even more highly skewed towards Southerners. https://www.ozy.com/acumen/why-the-us-military-is-so-southern/72100 We put up a decent fight in the civil war despite being woefully deficient in everything but courage. This tradition of martial excellence is yet another reason the Deep State, coastal elites hate and denigrate the South on a regular basis….they are afraid…….we are independent minded and in general reserved but we have a “code” that is being silently applied even if the clowns of the Northeast elites sneer………Always have a plan to kill everyone you meet but be nice” General Mattis.

'Reality' Doug
'Reality' Doug
  Martel's Hammer
May 16, 2019 5:27 pm

I don’t see that. I have a good view. Institutional cuckoldry is not cultural tradition, be it martial or not. The police can do anything, and good Southerners say ‘Thank you, for your service.’ Southerners, real ones of the Bible Belt tradition, will have to be literally sodomized by the police to overcome their sycophantic allegiance to something greater than themselves called the State, which is hardly a courageous social stance. Gentlemen don’t fight against their future like morons might. Ladies are ladies because gentlemen will hit them. You romanticize the South. Things are dire. White history is nothing if not narrow tall peaks and the valley of the Dark Ages (also romanticized, for reasons I think Dalrock has identified). As the evil song goes, “No one’s putting up a fight.” That band is very popular among rednecks, as is the song. Narrative does not manifest, only sovereignty does, and it’s so easy to pretend with the Establishment.

Martel's Hammer
Martel's Hammer
  'Reality' Doug
May 16, 2019 5:54 pm

Ok, thanks for the vague generalizations without a cogent argument or even a central theme other than everything sucks, everybody sucks, we are all worthless and weak and nothing good is ever going to happen again in America because we all embrace a slave mentality? I am so sick of the whining whinging and general feckless complaining…….well get off the porch you little bitch and let’s change this.

'Reality' Doug
'Reality' Doug
  Martel's Hammer
May 16, 2019 8:23 pm

You aren’t tired enough. You will be.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  'Reality' Doug
May 16, 2019 9:15 pm

Get off the couch I am 58 and can still crank out 8 min miles all day long and carry a ruck and rifle.

M G
M G
  Anonymous
May 17, 2019 4:35 am

I’m 58, recovering from major surgery and I can’t do 8 minute miles but am sure I could make it in ten.

I can still climb a tree and take aim.

Mygirl...maybe
Mygirl...maybe
  M G
May 17, 2019 11:50 am

when i recover from my broke arm i can aim, with your legs you could straddle a tree.

Mygirl...maybe
Mygirl...maybe
  'Reality' Doug
May 16, 2019 6:43 pm

…and we wuz kangs and shit…muslims built the space program and you know fuck all about ‘real southerners’

Diogenes’ Dung
Diogenes’ Dung
  'Reality' Doug
May 16, 2019 9:35 pm

All you can see is your own shit and you’ll need a glass bellybutton to improve your ‘good view’.

Churchill: “Don’t talk to me about Naval Tradition. It’s nothing but rum, sodomy and the lash.”

Surely your heritage includes a fleet of British Boatswain’s Mates who apprenticed as a Cabin Boys.

Mygirl...maybe
Mygirl...maybe
  Diogenes’ Dung
May 16, 2019 10:20 pm

It must be love, I’m feeling the love….

Vixen Vic
Vixen Vic
  'Reality' Doug
May 18, 2019 2:43 am

Not all Southerners think the police are great,nor the government.

Mygirl...maybe
Mygirl...maybe
  Martel's Hammer
May 16, 2019 6:31 pm

The Mexicans were being decimated by the Comanche in what is now Texas. The Comanche were a fierce and blood thirsty lot who laughingly referred to Mexicans as their ‘livestock keepers’. In desperation the Mexican government brought in the Scots-Irish to settle and contend with the Comanche, which they did in some vicious and bloody battles. They whipped Comanche butt and then they turned around and whipped up on the Mexican government for wanting taxes and lo, from that rather fierce beginning we now have Texas. That ancestral blood is still around, dormant but waiting, don’t rile it up, you won’t like the aftermath…

Diogenes’ Dung
Diogenes’ Dung
  Mygirl...maybe
May 16, 2019 9:36 pm

Amen, halleluiah, and pass the corn liquor!

Diogenes’ Dung
Diogenes’ Dung
  Martel's Hammer
May 16, 2019 9:27 pm

Dayum, I feel born agin.

Mygirl...maybe
Mygirl...maybe
  Diogenes’ Dung
May 16, 2019 9:51 pm

ok, you’re bored and spoiling for a fight. Will I rise up to the bait or just settle back down into the water and cool my heels. I’m thinking…

Diogenes’ Dung
Diogenes’ Dung
  Mygirl...maybe
May 16, 2019 10:07 pm

platypus be thinkin’
is it worth the dinkin’?
to bite the usual bait?

should I cooIit‘n wait?
a trapdoor to be hung
on a hook from Dung?

Mygirl...maybe
Mygirl...maybe
  Diogenes’ Dung
May 16, 2019 10:39 pm

The water’s fine, I’m chillin’, lazy and fine, little minnows nibble my feets.

Vixen Vic
Vixen Vic
  Mygirl...maybe
May 18, 2019 2:46 am

My god, you two are the perfect couple. You think alike.

KeyserSusie
KeyserSusie
  Martel's Hammer
May 17, 2019 12:34 pm

Enter ex Senator Jim Webb’s Born Fighting. It makes a good companion to The White Trash Cookbook. Deep in the original Redneck Riviera on the coast south of Tallahassee they used to have a White Trash Bash every year on remote Dog Island. They shut it down when hundreds of boaters and beachside stripper poles became numerous.

Mygirl...maybe
Mygirl...maybe
  KeyserSusie
May 17, 2019 3:13 pm

damn. that’s why you keep good stuff on the down low

robert h siddell jr
robert h siddell jr
May 16, 2019 5:30 pm

I don’t consider the immigrants in the huge Yankee Plantations as Southerners; living here does not make you a Southerner, that is a moral quality that must be developed and few succeed.

BB
BB
  robert h siddell jr
May 16, 2019 6:57 pm

I have lived in the South all my life but it is changing for the worse. He is right about Charlotte NC. It is becoming a third world dumpster. I fucking hate these parasites . They are here for one reason . To replace white people . This has been the Jewish goal all along.

Mygirl...maybe
Mygirl...maybe
  BB
May 16, 2019 7:13 pm

Most of America’s cities are or are becoming shitholes, not just in the south…take a gander at california

Coalclinker
Coalclinker
  robert h siddell jr
May 16, 2019 7:51 pm

If the “immigrants” from up North make cornbread where more flour is used than corn meal, the shortening is olive oil, and they bake it in glass pans, then they can never become Southerners.
If you give one a cast iron skillet, they’ll never be able to cook without the food sticking to it because they’ll always insist on scrubbing it with Brillo pads.

Mygirl...maybe
Mygirl...maybe
  Coalclinker
May 16, 2019 9:34 pm

i will commit heresy and sometimes wash mine with soapy water, but that’s generally after a fish fry.

Coalclinker
Coalclinker
  Mygirl...maybe
May 17, 2019 6:05 am

If I have to, I’ll boil some soapy dish water in the skillet and stir it around to break really nasty stuff loose. However, a quick wash of dish water and a quick drying on a stove burner followed by a wipe of cooking oil usually suffices.

Diogenes’ Dung
Diogenes’ Dung
  Coalclinker
May 16, 2019 11:47 pm

salt on bacon grease soaked rag

Mygirl...maybe
Mygirl...maybe
  Diogenes’ Dung
May 17, 2019 12:28 am

to be rubbed in your open wounds

Coalclinker
Coalclinker
  Diogenes’ Dung
May 17, 2019 6:06 am

That is a waste of bacon grease! Keep it for when you need to fry potatoes or hash browns.

Mygirl...maybe
Mygirl...maybe
  Coalclinker
May 17, 2019 11:58 am

yup, you’re right.bacon grease on a biscuit was a tasty treat and a cardiovascular nightmare’

Vixen Vic
Vixen Vic
  Mygirl...maybe
May 18, 2019 2:49 am

Actually, bacon grease from naturally raid pigs is very healthy. You ancestors lived on it and it didn’t cause problems. Only industrialization of pigs caused the problems.

yahsure
yahsure
May 16, 2019 7:03 pm

The southern women sound sweet and the men sound like retards. it’s strange the first time you hear people referring to blacks as porch monkeys and niggers, it never did seem right or normal. even old lady’s do it. I traveled the south for years and you can have it! I’d stay away from truck stops in the south, They have a strange idea about what clean is.

Mygirl...maybe
Mygirl...maybe
  yahsure
May 16, 2019 7:11 pm

uh huh, and the northerners are a pristine, cultured. erudite and fastidious lot. Hyperbole much? Vapid generalizations to cover a massive geography and people are rather puerile.

Martel's Hammer
Martel's Hammer
  yahsure
May 16, 2019 7:27 pm

Talking slow does not mean thinking slow….the whole roundabout, not getting to the point is a little infuriating but its all a feeling out process because the first thought in most southerner’s head….”Is this a threat, do I need to kill this person” so slowing down and evaluating prevents a lot of violence….or used to, now we are more civilized and it’s less relevant. The whole Commanche things still freak me out……living in Montana now I see lots of native Americans……mostly very large people, big strong and smart……it must have been terrifying for the 5’5″ white pioneer seeing these screaming “injuns” coming for him……

Mygirl...maybe
Mygirl...maybe
  Martel's Hammer
May 16, 2019 8:03 pm

you want some fierce and handsome folk, take a look at the Lakota. I was recently commissioned to do a very large painting about the ‘Battle of Walker’s Creek’ which was between a small company of Texas Rangers and a party of Comanche whose numbers were estimated to be between anywhere’s from 40 to 200 men. I did the research, fascinationg stuff. Here’s some reference material
https://tshaonline.org/handbook/online/articles/btw02

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Mygirl...maybe
May 16, 2019 9:19 pm

Awesome and exactly what I am talking about. How crazy tough were those early Texans!!!!!

Diogenes’ Dung
Diogenes’ Dung
  Mygirl...maybe
May 16, 2019 10:10 pm

All my Fatal Attractions had Art History degrees.

We were meant to finger-paint each other.

Mygirl...maybe
Mygirl...maybe
  Diogenes’ Dung
May 16, 2019 10:41 pm

I’m still chillin an’ floatin’…I don’t have an artist history degree, I have an mfa in illustration and I paint. Art historians just read and talk about it

Diogenes’ Dung
Diogenes’ Dung
  Mygirl...maybe
May 16, 2019 11:50 pm

whooooeeee. I wouldn’t have married two of ’em if that’s all they did.

They for sure made some history with their artistry.

One of ’em was always interrupting herself to suck paint out of my bristles.

git out of that water an dry off.

Mygirl...maybe
Mygirl...maybe
  Diogenes’ Dung
May 17, 2019 12:24 am

and the artistry was so great that none of them remained.

Mygirl...maybe
Mygirl...maybe
  Mygirl...maybe
May 17, 2019 12:27 am

Sweetie, you wanna talk then you need a means outside of this platform. . Daddy gonna nail my feet to the floor if you keep this up.

Diogenes’ Dung
Diogenes’ Dung
  Mygirl...maybe
May 17, 2019 9:58 am

I don’t have anywhere else to go and there’s no place I’d rather be, but I’ll meet you anywhere your daddy ain’t holdin’ a hammer.

Mygirl...maybe
Mygirl...maybe
  Diogenes’ Dung
May 17, 2019 11:54 am

[email protected]….it’s up for three days and then it dies…if i’m hit with massive waves of spam i shall come after you with a hammer and i’ll eventually find you..maybe

Diogenes’ Dung
Diogenes’ Dung
  Mygirl...maybe
May 17, 2019 9:48 pm

Thank you – I’m in there now. Go ahead and shut the spam pipeline down. You know a tsunami is coming.

And I already have too much competition.

KeyserSusie
KeyserSusie
  Mygirl...maybe
May 17, 2019 1:23 pm

Mygspot not, Born in Ft. Worth, two grand chillin and daughter in law who live next door, from there too. Is there a link to your illustration? I would like to see it.

I been to La Grange and my exes are not from Texas…except my college girlfriend who lives in Austin.

I had a pony and a Paso Fino gelding, tended to their stallions of the Puerto Rican polo team and went to see Trigger mounted in an Apple Valley museum. Now I ride in boats along the trail of swells in the Gulf of Mexico.

Mygirl...maybe
Mygirl...maybe
  KeyserSusie
May 17, 2019 1:47 pm

www,bwoosley,com. haven’t upgraded since i broke my arm so its wonky…i live 150 miles from texas gulf. you saw trigger! wowsa…

KeyserSusie
KeyserSusie
  Mygirl...maybe
May 17, 2019 3:08 pm

Impressive collection! My son was stationed at Ft. Hood when it happened. His reaction was if his platoon, just back from action, had been in the room; Allah ak….is all that would have come out of his mouth before they were on him. I think it is great that it was a female who shot him down. (shoulda double tapped him some say)

I am glad you humor me with Dung’s dungy flirtations. I once was his favorite target for derision. He has been back to his old self of witty doubt.

I like your style and captured spirit representations. I retain fondness for my Texas roots and Western values. The summer of 7th grade I worked at Greystone Manor in Colorado, my experience with horses helped land me a job at the dude ranch. I was mostly a cabin boy (to the likes of Cornelia Otis Skinner) and dog groomer to 6 collies.

Mygirl...maybe
Mygirl...maybe
  KeyserSusie
May 17, 2019 5:33 pm

I sat thru six weeks of suppressing the urge to leap up and smash his (Hasan’s) filthy face into the desk. Bastard lept onto a desk and fired point blank into a crowded room of unarmed men, nowhere to hide room. those who tried to stop him were shot point blank. Small deputy, civilian shot him outside the building, she got shot for her efforts. radical muslims in today’s modern and diverse army .
what kind of boat do you ply along the waterways? I assume you live in Fla.

I play along with dung, i’m his foil and straight man. He makes an easy target at times and I can’t resist firing back. I figure he’ll get tired and move to another target eventually.

KeyserSusie
KeyserSusie
  Mygirl...maybe
May 17, 2019 8:01 pm

The best kind, other people’s boats. They drag me along because I can catch more fish than the average angler. I have owned boats, suitable for offshore fishing, tuna, dolphin, wahoo up to 100 miles offshore. I have caught a few bill fish but do not target them. AND bottom dwellers, groupers, red snappers and so forth. I fish for and catch deep dwellers in 600 foot depths.
I do live just east of the Western Gate to the Sunshine State. I fish as far west as Louisiana’s Delta and East to Key West. @71 agewise I do it for fun. I have commercially fished, long ago supplying my brother’s fish market and tackle store, a block from the Governor’s Mansion in Tallahassee. Redfish, trout and flounder are caught with regularity from my dock on Santa Rosa Sound. Right now it is blue crab season. Big male crabs search the grass flats for food and first year females who mate only one time in their lifecycle.

A hearty welcome from this crew member here on TBP. It is a watering hole where many intelligent designers come to tell stories around the digital campfire. You fit right in.

Mygirl...maybe
Mygirl...maybe
  KeyserSusie
May 17, 2019 8:18 pm

now you are making me hungry. I fell in love with amberjack when my brother lived in fla. bout lived on keylime pie and amberjack. I love to fish but I am a tender redhead, I can’t handle the sun, I night fish and come out like a vampire and hide during the day. you are welcome to email me, you have the address, I prefer to visit there.

downeasthillbilly
downeasthillbilly
  yahsure
May 16, 2019 8:44 pm

Don’t let the do’ hit yo’ skanky ass on the way out. Shitbird.

Diogenes’ Dung
Diogenes’ Dung
  downeasthillbilly
May 16, 2019 10:15 pm

Shitbirds got no ass.

They’re a puff of feathers squawking about ‘feeling out processes’ that ‘infuriate’ them.

And they think everybody should give a shit.

Stucky
Stucky
May 16, 2019 8:51 pm

I HATE New Joisey.
I HATE the entire Northeast.
FUCK the goddamned Yankees!!! And I’m not talking about the baseball team. But, yeah, fuck those overpaid cocksuckers also.

I have ALWAYS been a Southerner at heart. And when mom dies, I’ll be there, somewhere, in person too.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Stucky
May 16, 2019 9:21 pm

CT refugee to MT and it is such a relief not perfect but a lot better. Grizzlies scare me even though they haul ass when they see/hear you.

nkit
nkit
  Stucky
May 16, 2019 9:58 pm

yeah yeah

Mygirl...maybe
Mygirl...maybe
  Stucky
May 16, 2019 9:58 pm

Your welcome here anytime. Just remember that without AC Texas is uninhabitable in summer. Houston was the only city so humid that I could bend a cracker.. . we have fours seasons: Before summer, summer, after summer and Christmas.

Vixen Vic
Vixen Vic
  Mygirl...maybe
May 18, 2019 3:00 am

In South Carolina, we have cool summer, summer, warm winter, and about two weeks worth of what many call cold fall.

Vixen Vic
Vixen Vic
  Stucky
May 18, 2019 2:58 am

You’re welcome to come to South Carolina, Stucky. I live in North Augusta, and I think you would like it.

MarshRabbit
MarshRabbit
May 16, 2019 9:20 pm

Lenny Bruce, on Southern Accents.

Mygirl...maybe
Mygirl...maybe
  MarshRabbit
May 16, 2019 9:55 pm

He mentions Einstein…one of my favorite bumper stickers read:
“I’m smart as a horse and hung like Einstein”

Diogenes’ Dung
Diogenes’ Dung
  Mygirl...maybe
May 16, 2019 11:52 pm

That’s been added to my eWhoremoney profile.

Thank you!

Vixen Vic
Vixen Vic
  MarshRabbit
May 18, 2019 3:01 am

The South is definitely a different country, and should have been.

nkit
nkit
May 16, 2019 11:09 pm
Mygirl...maybe
Mygirl...maybe
  nkit
May 16, 2019 11:30 pm

True south

nkit
nkit
  Mygirl...maybe
May 16, 2019 11:52 pm

Been playing harp, (Lee Oskar) for decades.. I still suck..sort of…but that guy needs help My Lady…

nkit
nkit
  nkit
May 17, 2019 12:15 am

This is a song about my favorite Golden Isle…

Mygirl...maybe
Mygirl...maybe
  nkit
May 17, 2019 12:33 am

i’m a banjo player myself, I suck at it but have a great time anyways

nkit
nkit
  Mygirl...maybe
May 17, 2019 12:36 am

God bless you….

Mygirl...maybe
Mygirl...maybe
  nkit
May 17, 2019 1:05 am

and you too…

M G
M G
May 17, 2019 4:05 am

I like this guy singing it.

BL
BL
  M G
May 17, 2019 10:34 am

Magoo- There is hardly a dry eye in the house when the entire crowd sings “My Old Kentucky Home” before the Kentucky Derby is run. It’s a beautiful thing Mags.

Ginger
Ginger
May 17, 2019 2:55 pm

Don’t know if anybody will read down this far, but one simple fact has not been mentioned, and that being the only real culture this country ever had was the pre-1900 Southern culture. Most was lost through lincoln’s war on America.
What is obama’s, or trump’s, or any Presidents’s refinement in general knowledge compared to Washington’s, Jefferson’s, or Robert E Lee’s honourable lives.

Even Joe Biden’s accomplishments compared to Geronimo’s.

Mygirl...maybe
Mygirl...maybe
  Ginger
May 17, 2019 3:10 pm

bingo, this thread’s still alive but getting faint

TampaRed
TampaRed
May 17, 2019 10:53 pm

tom petty doing “rebels” live w/the TRUE american flag–it’s been taken down b4 so enjoy while you can–

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D_Wk6VYCOdU

TampaRed
TampaRed
May 17, 2019 10:56 pm

the late,great lewis grizzard–

Vixen Vic
Vixen Vic
May 18, 2019 2:20 am

There’s too many Northerners moving to the South, and liberals, and screwing things up, like the idiot mayor in my little city. Stay where you are and stop trying to turn the South into the liberal headache you just moved from.