Climate Crisis Solved By New Jet That Runs On Liberal Hypocrisy

Via The Babylon Bee

U.S.—The climate crisis has been getting worse, despite liberal elites’ best efforts to fly all over the country in their private jets lecturing everybody about it.

There seemed to be no end in sight until a new tech startup, Hypocri-Fuel, introduced a private jet that runs on liberal hypocrisy.

“We just hook this bad boy up to Leo DiCaprio, Al Gore, Justin Trudeau, or any other of the thousands of progressive elites who refuse to change their lifestyles to match their beliefs, and presto — plenty of fuel to go around,” said the startup’s CEO, Gus Perder. “One fuel-up can power a jet for over a year.”

Perder said he was trying to figure out what resource the earth has that’s nearly limitless when it hit him: the hypocrisy of rich lefties. “There is so much liberal hypocrisy to go around that we never have to worry about running out,” he said. “Fossil fuels may go away in a few hundred years, and people are scared of nuclear, but we have an inexhaustible supply of liberal hypocrisy.”

And every time one of these liberal elites gives a condescending Oscar speech or goes on a world tour in their private jet to tell people how bad they are for flying commercial and not running around in a Flinstones car, they’re just generating more energy to power these new airplanes.

“It’s a win-win for everybody — liberals can keep lecturing people and actually be useful, and the rest of us can go on ignoring them while the planet cools substantially.”

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7 Comments
Pequiste
Pequiste
February 10, 2020 6:51 pm

Doesn’t Hypocri-Fuel have some important performance additives like 100% arrogance and high-test deviance?

oldtimer505
oldtimer505
  Pequiste
February 10, 2020 7:05 pm

They don’t worry about that. All of the above is offset by our continued compliance.

Martel's Hammer
Martel's Hammer
  oldtimer505
February 11, 2020 9:04 am

I like the other planes fueled by liberal tears……just as economical and available and much more entertaining.

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SeeBee
SeeBee
February 10, 2020 7:19 pm

https://nypost.com/2020/02/10/oscars-ratings-hit-all-time-low-in-2020-amid-polarizing-speeches-repeat-wins/
It’s absolutely wonderful! These people have become their own death knell.
It’s so much fun to watch!

TN Patriot
TN Patriot
  SeeBee
February 10, 2020 7:48 pm

It is so much fun to NOT watch.

SeeBee
SeeBee
  TN Patriot
February 10, 2020 8:22 pm

True. But it’s the schadenfreude that makes it fun and satisfying.

nkit
nkit
February 11, 2020 12:22 am

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