Controversy Arises As A Desperate Biden Resorts To Malarkey To Save Failing Campaign

Via The Babylon Bee

U.S.—South Carolina is do-or-die for Joe Biden, and he knows it. In a controversial and desperate decision, Biden has reportedly reversed himself on the core issue of his campaign in an attempt to gain momentum.

“It is time,” Biden said in a leaked audio recording of a meeting with staffers, “to engage in malarkey.”

This decision was met with resistance from Biden’s most loyal staff members. Joel Hoffman, who is rumored to have resigned in protest, was heard on the recording pushing back against this decision. “You can’t!” he is heard pleading. “That goes against everything we stand for!”

“This is the real world, kid!” Biden responded. “If malarkey is what’s going to win it for us, then that’s what we have to do. Just look at Bernie Sanders. He’s beating us, and all his ideas are pure malarkey. And his Bernie Bros all they engage in is malarkey. So if we want to win, we need malarkey. And we need it big time!”

“I believed in you!” Hoffman shouted. “I believed that someone was finally going to take on malarkey. And now I don’t believe in anything!”

Not only is Biden now engaging in malarkey, some have also observed him engaging in moonshines and shenanigans. “It’s sad,” said a Biden staffer who wished to remain anonymous. “He’s just a shell of his former self.”

-----------------------------------------------------
It is my sincere desire to provide readers of this site with the best unbiased information available, and a forum where it can be discussed openly, as our Founders intended. But it is not easy nor inexpensive to do so, especially when those who wish to prevent us from making the truth known, attack us without mercy on all fronts on a daily basis. So each time you visit the site, I would ask that you consider the value that you receive and have received from The Burning Platform and the community of which you are a vital part. I can't do it all alone, and I need your help and support to keep it alive. Please consider contributing an amount commensurate to the value that you receive from this site and community, or even by becoming a sustaining supporter through periodic contributions. [Burning Platform LLC - PO Box 1520 Kulpsville, PA 19443] or Paypal

-----------------------------------------------------
To donate via Stripe, click here.
-----------------------------------------------------
Use promo code ILMF2, and save up to 66% on all MyPillow purchases. (The Burning Platform benefits when you use this promo code.)
Click to visit the TBP Store for Great TBP Merchandise
Subscribe
Notify of
guest
4 Comments
Jerry
Jerry
March 1, 2020 6:09 pm

Mike Mularkey was a hell of a tight end for the Steelers….if I were a Democrat, hahaha, roflmao, I would write Mike in….

Big JiLm
Big JiLm
March 1, 2020 8:58 pm

Umm, wasn’t he suppose to be the “No Malarkey” candidate???

Pete Dunham
Pete Dunham
March 1, 2020 9:07 pm

Waiting for the pure-Malarky play: I’ll vote for Joe when he professes his #MeToo moment by promising to pass legislation making it a criminal offense to sniff the hair of pre-teen girls.

Anonymous
Anonymous
March 1, 2020 10:48 pm

This guy reminds me of lyod bridges in the hot shots movies. Can you imagine the off the wall shit that would come out of his mouth as president? He is a gold mine.