It’s been at least four months since I’ve had even a bite of ice cream. Yesterday evening around 9PM, I had The Craving, The Yearning, The Desire … almost as if I was with child. So, I went to CVS … because it’s only half a mile away.
I longingly looked at B&J (may they covered in boils!!) Cherry Garcia, but was put off by the $5.99 cost. They carried Hagen Daz, and had another favorite flavor; butter pecan – for “only” $4.79. That’s for just a damned pint, which means a gallon would cost $32 bucks. May they be covered in pus and boils! But, since I’m now clogging my veins only every four months I took the plunge.
The DICk (Dumb Ignorant Clerk) rang me up … $5.99.
Hmmm. I said nothing and just paid up, cuz I’m a pussy and there was a line behind me. I walk out of the store, look at the receipt, and throw the receipt on the ground instead of the trash – my brave and noble act of defiance. Open the car door, step inside, start up the car, and then it hits me like a ton of bricks; “Hey, just wait a minute! I ain’t no fucken pussy!!”
Get out of the car, go in the store, dash to the ice cream freezer. Yup … it says $4.79! Go to the DICk to inform her of her error;
— DICk: “Oh, that’s the price if you have a CVS card.”
— Stucky: “Seriously??! You’re not Costco or a big store. You’re a rinky dink pharmacy in a rinky dink town and I need some magic membership to get the sale price?!”
— DICk: “Yes. Those are the rules. Please stop being difficult.”
I once again dash to the ice cream freezer. I put the Hagen Daz back and take the Cherry Garcia. I walk past the DICk letting her know what I did;
— DICk: “Wait. You can’t just leave. Come back.”
— Stucky: “Umm, why?”
— DICk: “You have to officially return it.”
— Stucky: “But, it’s the SAME product at the SAME exact price.”
— DICk: “But, it’s a different brand!”, she says triumphantly.
— Stucky: “Whatever.”
The DICk then strolls to the ice cream freezer to retrieve a butter pecan ice cream that she can “officially” exchange. It takes her almost a minute, really, to key in god-only-knows-what. Then she says;
— DICk: “I need your receipt.”
— Stucky: “Wellll, I threw it away.”
— DICk: “Sorry, but I can’t exchange the item without a receipt.”
— Stucky: “What the hell are you talking about??? I was just in here not two minutes ago!!!”
— DICk: “Those are the rules. Please stop being difficult.”
I tell her to give me a minute while I get it. Meanwhile, the line is growing. I go outside and find the receipt rather quickly and present it to her triumphantly. She keys in a bunch of numbers … again! Then she says;
— DICk: “I need your driver’s license.”
— Stucky: “Are you shitting me??!”. I turn to the line behind me and cry out “Can you believe this crap? You need a damned license to return ice cream I bought just a few minutes ago!! I’ll bet the next thing she asks for is my birth certificate.” They guy immediately behind me – a 40ish black guy — thought this was funny as shit. The customers behind him … not so much.
— Stucky: Deciding to be a dick, I said , “I don’t have a license. I walked here. So what are you gonna do now?”
— DICk: “I think I’m going to call the police.”
— Stucky: “Go ahead ya moron! What are they gonna do? Arrest me for Improperly Returning Ice Cream?” Well, seriously, she picked up the phone. And then the black guy stepped up to the plate.
— Black Guy: “Ma’am, here’s my license. Use it.”
Sooooo … she keys in a bunch more shit. At this point you may be thinking that I’m making this shit up. I am not!! It took somewhere between 5-8 minutes to return that ice cream. Finally, she says ..
— DICk: “You need to sign and print here.”
— Stucky: “Holy crap! I need to SIGN SOMETHING to return ice cream???!!!”. I then turn to the line behind me and say. “Folks. This is why were DOOMED as a country!”. Most everyone nodded in agreement. Really. So, I signed. She took the signed receipt and put it in her drawer without looking at it. After walking away a few steps I turned to her and said;
— Stucky: “You might want to look at that receipt. I signed it Donald Duck.” Which I really did, and this made Black Guy laugh out loud.
— DICk: “You can’t do that, sir!”
— Stucky: “Hell if I can’t. I just did. Here’s an idea pea brain … why don’t you call the cops.” She just gave me the dirtiest look you can imagine. And then rang up the black guy.
Now, it turns out the black guy only had one item! A bag of chips, I think. And he paid cash. So, he was right behind me as I walked out. And he asks me if I need a ride. What a nice guy!! I tell me no, that I live just a block away. So, I walk past my car … no way I’m getting in my car cuz then he’ll think that I’m a real dick … and I walk half way down the short block until I see his taillights in the distance.
And as I walk back to my car I suddenly realize why this country is so fucked up. Surely, it’s not because of people like me. No, it’s because America has too many dicks.
In closing ….
CVS Sucks!! Save America!! BOYCOTT CVS!!
Active voice: As I walk back I suddenly realize.
You don’t know what active voice is because you just speak actively. I had Deborah Chester at OU red-inking my prose until it bled. It is because I was taught by very prim and proper school teachers who sometimes were also my Sunday School teachers. Is, was, were, are all passive verbs. Old fashioned and lovely writing, but passive.
People have quit talking frankly and honestly to each other. Everyone has to get all bent out of shape because someone said something. I not only don’t care, I actively don’t care to the point I am ready to open my window and say I’m mad as hell.
But, I didn’t even see three people today. Just the one Nick I have around here in storage. And, if you decide you want to live in an un-insulated (not yet… we will get it foamed, but we lived in it for almost a year, you big baby) house on ten foot stilts? Well, My Nick is the last Nick I need, but a Spare Nick in storage might be good, but to stay two in the big house, you will need to discuss the Eric Clapton 24 nights rule with EC, who’s been briefed on policy and house rule should he have to escape and evade to Misery.
I’m glad I caught this. I do know how you feel, Stucky. It is like the world has up and lost it’s ability to make sense.
If you would, stop by Biology 101 and say hello to JC Onabike, please. He’s really going to be an asset to this community, if they will have him. He’s already researching the next bike ride.
And he’s probably related to LLPOH.
And, since I haven’t “seen” you in a while? I caught Jakey in the fire pit again. He’s in blackface.
Yes, I have on plastic gloves, but not for virus protection. I was scooping poop for a while before it started raining. Again.
I haven’t been to a CVS in years. Really. Or a Walgreens. Mostly we use local groceries and farm supply stores. VA supplies medicine and the care here is really pretty good because there aren’t a lot of Veterans living around here. They picked up my tab for the ordeal with the hernia mesh, but the Air Force put the mesh in there, so we’re good.
Hey! Did you get the silver sponges? Ask HSF what I mean.
M G,
Are you Forest Gump’s sister?
It’s a diablog with Stucky so just ignore me. He can delete my comment if he wants or hide it.
I asked that in what I thought would be an endearing way. You have always had so many stories. I finally found something to connect you too. I now pronounce you (M)iss (G)ump.
OMG, Donkey? I didn’t know you had a sense of humor and I like “Miss Gump” now! Thank you.
I’m just used to being called not endearing names. I thought you were giving me shit like CO2.
I love your quirkiness.
i get the barn right?
jerkwad downers
Hey … you Skanky Seven who down-voted Maggie’s post. Tell you what …
How ’bout y’all GO SUCK SOME DISEASED DONKEY DICK !!
Really.
Bwahahabababa, good ole Stuck pulled out the triple D.
Good times, good times.
I agree. It is like a family reunion after a funeral. We are sad, but it is good to have each other as consolation.
I was hoping to elicit the tripD from the lumberjack.
Where is rayray?
This is from someone making a big deal out of $1.20 worth of retail ice cream
that is way over priced to begin with. I think the poor little DICk needs a raise
for having to deal with adult EMR students. Geeeeez.
If you do ever come here and meet my husband, do not try to hug me.
The last big Teddy Bear of a man I grew fond of and introduced to my husband shook his hand and then HUGGED me. I’d told him to come by, meet my husband and explain what he could do for us and if my husband liked him, he would agree to hire him to do more work for us.
Then he HUGGED me.
Dumbass.
My Nick leaned back, crossed his arms and glared at him in a way that told me he lost the job.
I basically told him thanks we will discuss it now and we’ve never seen him again except when we pass on the road.
I told him my husband was the jealous sort. He didn’t listen.
I hired someone else who wasn’t so charming. Just dig the hole, buddy, and don’t try to hug the boss’s wife.
You want a good definition of ‘cunt’ there ya go.
I’m a Walgreens guy myself. Always hated CVS since similar bad experiences from up Champlain Valley way.
And CVS uses too many trees in their long receipts so there!
Great stuff, Stucky!
I will probably get negged all to hell but…
You are quite proud to have a abused some minimum wage cashier with zero latitude for not following the rules. You most likely ruined some else’s day to get your pound of flesh from a corporate giant who cares even less about what she thinks than you. She is working rather than being on welfare and having the job filled by an illegal with a stolen SS# because “Americans won’t do those jobs”
If that makes your day then I’m sorry.
Anybody negging you is hoping he’ll soon be pegging you. Negging is a pickup technique.
Oh, I see ….. she was just doing her job.
So, when a copfuk bashes your head in because you’re selling lemonade without a license … well, he’s just doing his job. It’s like that, right?
“Just doing my job.” — the refrain of dumb-ass dicks since cavemen walked the earth. “Just doing my job.” — the downfall of nations since 2500 BC.
Do me a favor and tell all those downvoters to suck you know what. That was a private message for you I put right there on top for all the world to see.
I know that makes you smile so I hope a half-dozen or more people down-vote me too.
A similar refrain from my 3 year military stint during the mid 1980’s, which really pissed me off, was “it’s not my job”. Also, have not darkened CVS’s doors in many years because of the card crap.
The reason they have all that shit in place is because 1) many customers are dishonest, and 2) many employees are dishonest.
Which is why I prefer dogs for company and robots for employees.
That said, I know my dogs will steal any morsel of food left unguarded, but will beat the rap by looking guilty with a sad face. Damn, I love dogs.
The woman with whom I walk, Geneva, tells me stories about her days working at a factory in the 1960s and 1970s and I, myself, remember my mother’s hard work during her two years at a factory to pay for the clothes dryer my father said he would not pay for.
Compare that to the standard of work I myself saw at Tinker AFB aircraft maintenance facility. At any given time, there might be dozens of workers outside milling and smoking while almost no work on teh floor was going on. Regulations about moving tools, aircraft parts, all sorts of lunatic safety measure and policies created “workstops” on production.
Workstop on an aircraft’s maintenance schedule brought the General out of the big office with the nice leather chairs. I got to give my briefings in those nice leather chairs a time or two.
So, they were starting to automate when I left and I’m sure it is completely automated now, but do you know what? They were not allowed to lay off any workers. IAM union rules. International Aerospace Machinists Union and National Labor Board rules.
I agree with you on automation, LLPOH.
It makes sense. But, what about the people…
Well, a pandemic might take care of some of the useless eaters.
And that is natural selection, not bigotry.
MG – I had a hard and fast rule. If one of my managers came to me saying that theY had found a robot that we should buy that could replace 3 people, I made them nominate which 3 people in advance before we bought the robot, and I fired the three the minute the robot was up and running. Union rules be damned. I did not run charities.
Some people will think that is terrible, and harsh, and hard. The reality is that is the way of the world, and always has been. The strongest survive, the weakest die off.
The world has too many people. I expect sooner or later it will do something to correct that.
CO2 lover is griping because I’m trying to introduce J.C. the Biking Biologist to the big dogs to hasten the vetting due to the Infodemic upon us.
I hope you will at least listen to the introduction where literally presents his academic and street credentials and if you don’t sense a sincere and intelligent GenX Native American wanting to make a difference for the world by answer questions as he bicycles around Pittsburg?
Well, line up with Co2lover and both of you can hold your noses. But, a Biologist on a Bike? C’mon… it’s mesmerizing.
And Yoji is bent out of shape because I slapped him with him own memenonsense, so you can see I’m stirring up as much shit as I can while Stucky is around.
Just picture the tough-skinned hippo. She don’t care.
llpoh,
liberals like you who are too weak to punish the guilty help to destroy people’s faith in our country–
shoot the damn dogs,just leave mine alone–
I know, I know, I should have rubbed their nose in their accidents when they were puppies, too.
But they were so damn cute, and I love them, and I am of no doubt that they love me, too. And they are my babies, all 150 pounds of them, and I am pretty sure they would fight to their last breaths to protect me. But given that the sight of them terrifies 95%+ of the population, I doubt it will come to that.
Recently a tradesman doing a bit of work at my place said he heard I have big dogs, and he loves big dogs, and asked to meet them. He took one look at them, said “Oh hell no”, and backed away eyes averted.
Dogs are way better than most people. At first, my neighbor was nervous about Jake. Now, she might let him carry her.
I take the big guy walking with us. The other day, a car stopped and Jake walked over, got petted by someone who said “Hello there Jake, I’ve heard about you.” and then the car drove off.
It was Geneva’s grandson (her daughter lives down the road around the curve) I’d not met, but still. He stopped to talk to my dog. He never bothered to speak to me.
Maybe he doesn’t care.
As you commented, “dogs are way better than most people”.
When I pay cash for something that I did not need an ID to purchase I will not ID myself and I will read the sentence on the money and the receipt that typically says no return or refund without receipt . Nothing about ID as for store policy that is for employees .
Making a stand for traveling about America unmolested is a right and fuck any policy to Hell its not law !
Well I am a Dick with a capital D. Born Richard, but somehow got tagged with the nickname “Dick”. Could have been Rich or Rick, but no. Back in my youth Dick was an innocent sobriquet. Now it is anathema, sometimes appended with the word head. Not that I care at this stage on the downslope of life, but isn’t it interesting how words and names can pick up new and altered meaning? Who would name a daughter Lolita today? Life is good and beats the approaching alternative, whatever your name.
Rick
Lolita is the diminutive for Dolores, I think Bob Hope’s wife was a Dolores. I don’t think anybody names their daughter Lolita.It’s a lovely name, despite the novel. I don’t think anybody would name their daughter Monica, though.
Pollocks might.
Hey Coyote,
Not just words, but also phrasing can make a difference. I could have written “Who would think of calling their daughter “Lolita” after Nabakov’s novel of that name was published?”
Some good names get trashed for any number of reasons.
I knew you were speaking of Humjob Humbert and I came back with Clinton’s anxiety relief, Monica
Some names get trashed fir good reason, like “Obama”
One set of “neighbors” has an 8 year old daughter named Caitlyn.
It was a perfectly good name 8 years ago.
Rick – I worked with a guy named Richard Head. He went by Richard and would not answer to any other name.
i once had a boss named richard whacker & you better not call him anything but richard–
he was a hard charging ahole & one day in a staff meeting he pissed off a guy too much–
“why don’t you just kiss my ass,mr dick whacker?”
I had to work with/for an officer last name was Minor. He was a Major. It was hard to greet him without cracking up.
Good morning, Major Minor.
Was his nickname “Weed”?
I knew a guy who was opposite: He was Richard Johnson and INSISTED on being called Dick Johnson.
You totally made that black guy’s day. He enjoyed every minute watching the white dude deal with shit he has mastered and gamed….for years.
You should have jew’d the clerk before you left the store the first time. Lesson hopefully learned.
Now the important question. Was the ice cream worth the trouble?
Paying at the $32 per gallon rate is hardly jewing somebody. I’m surprised a person your age still stoops to using slurs.
Jewing had nothing to do with the price per gallon. It must be an East Coast vs West Coast thing.
The real question is, was the 1.20 plus tax worth the trouble? That was a 25% markup. Stores do that quite often. And they wonder why they lose customers.
Back in the 80’s I ran into the old scam where the gas jockey takes your payment out by the pump, no register entry. He shorted me a dollar and when I told him, he said, oh yeah, that was $5? I said, no it was a dollar. He was trying to bribe me. (I’m not really that honest, Old Pangloss said that every man has his price, he said his was a Lear Jet.)
Do you recall that old story, Maggie? About the author who offered a lady $1M for sex, she said sure! Then he tried to jew her down and she said did he take her for a whore? He said, I think we’ve established that.
EC – at what point is being overcharged too much? If not $1.20, what amount is too much.
Any is too much.
That’s true, I was merely correcting Sea Flea for asking the wrong question.
For Blow and Job, errr i mean Ben and Jerrys even $.01 os too much to give those libtards
Well, a man who steals a few thousand dollars worth of your money is a thief, but one who grabs millions is a shrewd businessman.
There’s got to be an easier way, Stuck.?
Threw the receipt on the ground did you? Boy, that’ll get back at ’em! Hassle the clerk, will you, for wanting to comply with the demands of the job she is supposed to do, because so many people are dishonest? Whata guy! Nothing like getting that ego in there and inflating it by “being right” and the other poor bastard “wrong.” Time now for some reflection maybe. I suppose I am being hypocritical, though, come to think about it. Nevermind.
A few grocery chains(not membership stores)started the card thing.I would put a pile of groceries on belt,found out needed a card,got one at register with the name Ian Anderson,other store Robert Plant,this was back in day when no drivers license/e-mail ect.Now,I put gorceries on belt,no card due to needing to renew(?),ask they use their store card,they always have.I do believe the look as I ask nicely for them to use store card lets em know will just leave groceries on belt if not,so far has worked.I would say any store needing my personal info. to give me a better price just a lost cause for me as a shopper.
Wait till they outlaw cash due to corona beer,that will get interesting!
most of these cards are tied to the cardmember’s phone # & no card needs to be shown,just punch in the phone #–
in our family we all use my mom’s winn dixie card if they have something we want–
it would blow your mind how much beer that 86 yo lush can put down,though she claims to not have taken a drink her whole life–
Name: John Galt
Address: 14 Galts Gulch
Phone: 555-5555
Gimme my discount card
I have a grocery card. I can’t say whose name it’s in though. 🙂
What is a grocery car?
I don’t know, you tell me. Did I misspell it and somehow someone corrected it? I’m lost.
I picked mine up in the parking lot one day. I get the discounted price and somebody else gets the points.
Stucky- I support you and salute you for attempting to save the Republic single handed. I could see your ice cream encounter and raise you a hundred dick stories from my lifetime. There are too many f’n rules in this country and soon we will not be able to to accomplish even the simplest transaction without a suffocating noose of BS around our neck. Keep up the good work Stuck and don’t let any corporate Nazis overcharge you on anything.
a few months ago my dad’s hearing aid batteries went out– the rehab center he was in was about 1/8 of a mile from a cvs so i ran up there–lots of those batteries are almost exactly alike–i found 2 that i thought would fit so i bought both packs after asking the clerk if i could bring back the wrong size–he said it would be no problem–
i paid cash & went back to the rehab center–the 1st pack i opened fit so i ran back up to cvs–
same clerk,he remembered me,an unopened pack,i had the receipt & it was less than 30 minutes but if i wanted cash back & not a gift card i had to show id–
i hate cvs but the real problem is states allowing the private use of driver licenses–there are companies that track what you return w/o receipts & report to retailers–
lowes now has a policy that to redeem a gift card that you received for returned merchandise w/o a receipt you have to be the person to whom it was issued–
they’ve run most of the little guys out of business & can now dictate instead of competing–
Funny how no democrat is bitching about id laws for cvs returns only voting. Funny how these poor can show id for refunds but not for voting
Stucky. Maybe someone was trying to tell you that you really did not need any ice cream.
I totally agree with your final comments regarding too many Dicks in America.
CVS does suck.
You are a Dick. For so many reasons. Ask to borrow a card. Oh, please give me a CVS card, I have brain farts.
Convenience, oh my! You need practice.
All these membership cards are really in cahoots with credit card companies and banks. They gather every data and see everything you buy. Sell it to online companies. Add facebook and google. I can tell you what you ate Daily for the last 5 years, hour weight within 1 lb accuracy, what sexual position you prefer, and if you are prone to violence. Hence the red flag laws. They have so much data they feel like they can pre crime your ass a decade out.
This is why they will use this virus as a means to acclimate people to digital currency. The credit cards and check cards did it about 68%, add a virus and 90% will be cashless. Then, based on these numbers only troublemakers are using cash and if your data profile is too short they pinpoint you as a cash purchaser and come gunning for you with irs audits.
They gps your car and phone along with facial recognition. Our grandkids will only have some privacy on at least a hundred acres but drones and satellites will get what they need. If you need to bury shit for the future you have few precious moments left before everything everywhere is recorded. Buy your guns from individuals while you can with no record. The only future revolutions will be with ghost guns like these. Otherwise they know where every gun is and who purchased and if democrats get their bullshit “gun show loophole” which means no more person to person selling or transfers without registration you have no way to hide what you have. When they dislike you, like in china, they jackboot your ass mid night based on the “data” they have with red flag laws. It is coming people. The next generation will pay dearly.
“They have so much data they feel like they can pre crime your ass a decade out.”
I started learning about the way the information is collected, parsed, sorted and stored. I posted Google’s Creepy Line here which got about 20 comments here and most of them were between me and two others. I did get a string of email correspondence from some computer science types asking if I’d followed up.
I have. Not here.
Here at TBP, people don’t like to hear about the GooglePlex. They are too smart to worry about it.
Best buy. Same thing. But the reciept printed blurred. I never even left the line and it turned into a twenty minute fiasco caused by idiot clerks, management, and a shitty cash register. I said i’d never go back. But i had forgotten. With thisvreminder, boycott back on. Same thing at mobil over a three dollar car wash complete with threats of calling cops. Then st the fucking toll b ooth i get threatened becsuse i adk can i go now to some idiot toll taker who wants to lecture me and every other driver making a ten minute wait over nothing. Deranged faggot. Thanks for re pissing me off ya dick.