Majority Of Americans Would Rather Risk COVID Death Than Endure Any More Skype Lectures From Celebrities

Via The Babylon Bee

U.S.—A recent survey revealed that a majority of Americans are ready to get back to work. Even when asked if they realize that getting everybody back to work right now could increase deaths from COVID-19, most responded that they were willing to die if that’s what it took to end the nightly parade of self-important late show hosts scolding them all for needing money from the comfort of their fancy homes getting paid millions to shame-Skype America.

“It’s like when you accidentally FaceTime someone you really did not want to talk to. That’s what TV is like now,” said one participant in the survey who then begged for the COVID-19 virus to release him from another webcam Trevor Noah monologue.

Late show hosts are pushing for a longer quarantine period citing their preference to talk down to America on a laptop camera while wearing pajamas, not having to be around all the gross people who show up in live audiences and receiving the same sweet paycheck every week.

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9 Comments
Anonymous
Anonymous
April 24, 2020 9:00 pm

Man fuck these overpaid narcissistic assholes living the Dream in their palatial estate with the heated pool , hot tub , sauna and workout room with a view . Kitchen and maid staff how why and what I should be doing !
I resent any cause celeb , social justice ass wipe , politician and a tax payer funded armed badge wearing minion LEO telling me what I should or should not be doing for my own good . I am perfectly capable of taking the precautions necessary to protect myself and those close to me because no we are not all in this together !
The rush to start back in stages ASAP is because the supply chain is breaking down . When that system breaks down and people start missing meals then you will see how together we are in this !
A hungry man is a dangerous man and the powers that be know it . As for the Hollywood leftist elites if the system brakes down people I Watts will be paying you a visit and they do not fear LEO’s or any other security you may have unless it’s capable of at least a semiautomatic rate of fire !

B.S. in V.C.
B.S. in V.C.
April 24, 2020 9:17 pm

Celebrities are just clowns to amuse us nothing more, so shut up and dance for clown

Cricket
Cricket
  B.S. in V.C.
April 24, 2020 9:47 pm

You can dance if you want to. You can leave your friends behind. Cause your friends don’t dance and if they don’t dance, well they’re no friends of mine. 🙂

MrLiberty
MrLiberty
  Cricket
April 24, 2020 10:35 pm

Some of these celebrities simply cannot leave their friend’s behind. 🙂

MrLiberty
MrLiberty
April 24, 2020 10:34 pm

These couple of months will go down in the annals of advertising as the most disgustingly insipid and vomit-inducing in the history of advertising. Every fucking company is pandering to everyone as if they are 2 year olds in need of a “blanky” and some warm soup. And I swear to god if I hear the phrase “the new normal” one more time I am going to lose it. This fucking BETTER NOT be the new normal.

The other day my mind wandered and I was imagining Bill Gates injecting the majority of America with his deadly vaccine, and 3 million, then 10 million, and then 50 million dying from the vaccine….thus ending forced vaccines once and for all, and ridding us of the 50 million sheep that rushed to be the first in line. I felt a bit better.

BlackC
BlackC
April 25, 2020 12:16 am

Huh, I thought the Babylon Bee was supposed to be satire.
When did they start reporting actual news?

flash
flash
April 25, 2020 7:38 am

Shut up. I have no job, money, food or electricity, but when I see celebrities shut off from 24/7 attention, bucking up and making the best of it, it gives me courage to soldier on , because we are all in this together. #MakeLockdownsGreatAgain

Glock 1911
Glock 1911
April 25, 2020 8:59 am

Personally, I just don’t get it. How dare people-especially Americans-to not bow to the expertise and authority of celebrities. Those people have earned the right to speak down to the rest of us who actually work hard for a living, for our families and for our fellows. Plainly, they contribute nothing. This, naturally, makes them experts on anything. If we all actually did what Cher or Richard Simmons said, wouldn’t the world be a better place?

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Glock 1911
April 25, 2020 10:29 am

Maybe.