MALIBU, CA—Many described the scene as breathtaking or awe-inspiring. Others were so touched they couldn’t find the words to communicate how they felt. Most simply wept.
No matter how they expressed their emotions, everyone agreed that the scene off the Malibu coast Monday morning was exactly what America needed to get through this pandemic. Celebrities gathered their multi-million-dollar yachts on the waters of the Pacific Ocean and spelled out “WE’RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER.”
“We’re just like you,” said Ellen DeGeneres on her Instagram as her servants sailed her yacht into position to form the apostrophe. “Yes, maybe I have a yacht and you’ve only ever been on the Storybook Canal boats at Disneyland, but still. It’s pretty much the same thing.”
“Stay home, save lives — it’s not that hard,” said Patton Oswalt, whose fleet of yachts made up several of the letters. “Look, poor people, it’s not worth risking your life just to go to Fuddruckers or work a job or whatever it is you peasants do all day.”
After the stunt was over, Oswalt had his chauffeur drive him home in his hot tub limousine as he snorted several million dollars’ worth of powdered caviar.
“All of humanity is fighting this together and we’re all as one,” said Lady Gaga, who was wearing a bathing suit made out of gold bricks. “Though, I mean, don’t try to get on my yacht. My guards will literally shoot you. That’s not a metaphor.”
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Why doesn’t this virus spread through the Hollywood Hills and Beverly Hills instead of through nursing homes?
This same CoVid message is written on a big plywood board at a house up the street..
I pointed this one out to my wife and have been calling them “The Knucklehead Family” for a while. Their adult kids went to school with one of mine and and used to park their old, beater Jaguars in the street, detailing them and driving like fools when the cars were in working order. Their mom looks like Gaga, and thinks it’s still cool to dress like a teenager in cheetah print clothes and high heels during school functions.
This one also told my wife she worked at the University. I laughed my ass off because my wife thought she meant the local community college, but I knew better. “The University” is a kiddie daycare five minutes from our house where I do drop-offs from time to time.
Long story short, the Deplorables are watching and the East Coast is just as oblivious as the West ….
I had to double check the ‘source’ – just to be sure it wasn’t the Onion 🙂
I’m thinking maybe a bunch of us deplorable peasants should get our rowboats together and spell out something like “Hey Holly Weirdos – SCREW Y’ALL”. I don’t have a rowboat but maybe I can borrow one.
Great idea.
It might be an excellent opportunity to have an “unfortunate boating accident” where everything valuable except the beer and fishing poles go overboard.
There’s still Fuddrucker’s? Who knew?
It doesn’t get more Orwellian than this. Canada has a stronger together propaganda theme going. Stronger together while forced distancing and lock downs keep us apart. can’t go to a funeral, can’t go to a wedding, can’t hold the hand of a loved one no matter what they are dying from. There really is no cure for this level of stupid. Lack of wisdom has destroyed us.