WASHINGTON, D.C.—The Trump White House has raised serious security concerns as the eyes in an old portrait of President Obama gathering dust in a side hallway were clearly seen moving side to side.
Aides noticed the portraits’ eyes would follow Trump whenever he walked through the hallway, then freeze again once he had left the room.
“Something fishy’s going on here,” said a Secret Service agent. “I’m pretty sure those eyes were looking to the left before. What the heck?”
Agents rushed over to the picture. The eyes got wide, then suddenly disappeared. They ripped it out of the wall and found that two holes had been punched in the wall directly behind it. A tunnel was discovered leading out of White House grounds and letting out through a sewer manhole on the street nearby.
An unidentified black man was seen jumping into a car and speeding away.
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He was hoping Melania would walk by in her underwear.
I’m sure if the Bee had been around in the day, they would have commented on how the bulge in Moochelle’s pants moved when “she” walked.
“It” sounds a lot better.