Man Horrified As Kids Give Him Noose For Father’s Day

Via The Babylon Bee

CHARLESTOWN, RI—Local father of two Bradley Carson was horrified, shocked, offended, and aggrieved Sunday as his family gave him several racist symbols for Father’s Day, the kids and his wife each having given him a noose.

“I was literally shaking,” Carson, a white progressive, said. “It was a clear message, plain and simple: we hate you because of your skin color. Well, I mean, not my skin color. But I’m offended on behalf of some people somewhere who might have been offended by this.”

Carson called the FBI to investigate. After a thorough search of his house, they determined the nooses were actually neckties and that he had several dozen of them in his closet. Carson is standing by his story, though, saying, “I know a noose when I see one. This was a loop that goes around a human’s neck for no other purpose than to send a racist dog whistle to my oppressors.”

“It is literally violence.”

The man later fainted from shock while tying his shoes.

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11 Comments
TN Patriot
TN Patriot
June 24, 2020 1:52 pm

Millions of people should send this article to NASCAR

Steve
Steve
  TN Patriot
June 24, 2020 2:31 pm

Seriously, 15 friggin FBI agents had to go to Talladega to “investigate” this “heinous crime”.
Fuck you Bubba, you’re a little bitch.

MrLiberty
MrLiberty
June 24, 2020 3:22 pm

Don’t be left out not knowing how to tie one. I understand that the ideal number of wrapping loops is 13.

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Neuday
Neuday
  MrLiberty
June 24, 2020 4:50 pm

Great idea for Halloween:

Hang a noose or two from a tree, and surround the tree with stick figures wearing sheets (ghosts). Pointy hoods on the ghosts, optional.

MrLiberty
MrLiberty
  Neuday
June 24, 2020 5:18 pm

Yeah, I have a great noose sitting in a box with all of my other Halloween decorations. About 8 years ago I hung a skeleton from my tree. Wife told me never again (not that there were any issues). This year I am doing a “covid victims” graveyard (liberty, common sense, medical freedom, freedom of religion, freedom of speach, freedom of movement, etc.). Wife is good with all of it.

TampaRed
TampaRed
  MrLiberty
June 24, 2020 7:17 pm

liberty,
back in the late ’70 s a buddy & i dressed up on halloween as ted bundy & the chi omega girls–
the females at the party were not as amused as the guys–

MrLiberty
MrLiberty
June 24, 2020 3:47 pm

And in case you got one of those horrible nooses for Father’s day (or want to look professional for a job interview):
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Or combine the two for a look that will surely land you a job at the BET network:
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Panzerlied
Panzerlied
June 24, 2020 8:27 pm

NASCAR is D.O.A. They can left turn those rolling billboards around and around and around, and nobody is going to give a fat flying fuck. Stick a fork in’em, they’re done. I must say, however, that the CEO of that organization must be one of the dumbest S.O.B.s on the planet. Ban the Confederate flag in Alabama and the southern states,yeh, right. Evidently, he doesn’t understand that them ol’ boys still smell the powder burnin’ and I guess they always will. That’s why damyankee is still only one word.

overthecliff
overthecliff
  Panzerlied
June 24, 2020 10:44 pm

Panzer, hope you’re right. We will see what boobus Americanus will do.

Armchair Skeptik
Armchair Skeptik
June 24, 2020 10:14 pm

Black people are obsessed with nooses, not White people. This is why hate hoaxes are so easy to spot. White racists wouldn’t bother leaving symbolic nooses to frighten the victim. The true purpose of the noose in these hoaxes is to infuriate Blacks, nothing more. If you see a noose then it’s a ruse.

overthecliff
overthecliff
June 24, 2020 10:38 pm

NASCAR engineered the whole thing so they could act woke. They know it’s bullshit ’cause they planned it.