PORTLAND, OR—In an effort to prevent the reelection of sitting President Donald Trump, Mayor Ted Wheeler is encouraging citizens to raze their city to the ground. They hope that by desolating the entire city and reducing it to nothing more than smoking heaps of ash, that Trump won’t stand a chance in 2020.
“This is a small price to pay, if it means getting literally Hitler out of office,” said Mayor Ted Wheeler pouring gasoline throughout the city. “Now burn those buildings down! Burn them all!”
In response to the violence, the president has offered to send support to restore the peace to the city. Instead of giving Trump the political win he craves, Mayor Wheeler has come up with a solution of his own. “You can’t restore law and order to a city if there is no city left!”
Many questioned Mayor Wheeler’s commitment to the cause until he struck a match and set his own home ablaze. “In the end, this will all be worth it. Homes can be rebuilt, but a chance at hurting Trump’s poll numbers is priceless!”
So far there have been no signs of these actions negatively affecting Trump’s re-election chances. Confusingly, some polls even show Trump gaining ground.
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I thought this was supposed to be sarcasm?
IN 2020 America it takes a hell of a lot of effort to achieve sarcasm.It’s like lighting a campfire in a driving rain.
https://summit.news/2020/08/31/polling-firm-rasmussen-warns-about-national-poll-suppression/
Do you know this lady ?
Do not identify this mother/good parent!I would say may put her life in danger!
That said,how can a mother be so bear like protective have a son who strayed that far?
One day if he makes some good decisions this young man will thank his mum.
James.
No strong male figure as head of household.
While I agree,feel this mum covers both roles(hopefully for this young mans sake),am trying to be positive in a negative environment).
“…feel this mum covers both roles(hopefully for this young mans sake)…”
Simply not possible.
Understand your sentiment in a negative environment, but it’s best to be truthful.
A father or, in absence thereof, another strong steady male figure in a boy’s life, is absolutely indispensable.
There is more truth than satire there. If they can’t have it, they’ll burn it down before they let you have it.
When your father is the Devil you do Devilish things.
What a fine specimen of jellyfish we have for the mayor of Portland. I have no doubt Wheeler would burn down his own house to not piss off the rioters, I mean peaceful protesters.
I just pray that Ted and the other democratic mayors in democratic states continue their brilliant approach to dealing with the chaos. They are creating more and more Trump voters every day.
Nice to know BLM reads Babylon Bee. Last night they tried to burn down Wheeler’s condo.
As this insanity continues,if you are sick of it and live near me and the insanity hits at home,well,I got your back!
I was not raised a Grizzly Adams lifestyle with special forces combat tours thrown in the mix but have practiced martial arts and can shoot reasonable distances,will do me best if needed.
On a side note,would love to have a full sized grizzly bear as a team mate!
I will say till it hits the fan in your area you have time to still find/work with locals in your area,get on it!
It should be noted that Commie fuktard mayor Ted Wheeler comes from a prominent and wealthy family in the lumber business. Bring some of those lumber trucks into town so the Communist terrorists BLM-Antifa and anarchists can get the burning bigger and better.
And if he were true to his calling as a Maoist accessory he would make the family wood business into a State of Oregon owned company!
This scumbag Trotskyite exemplifies an Enemy Of The People.
I guess he’s just following his orders…
so that all that downtown real estate can be bought for pennies on the dollar, by all his friends who got him elected.
This is Left coast America Comrade, follow the orders of your paymasters.