DETROIT, MI—In an event Democrats can only describe as miraculous, a ballot counter has turned an offering of only 5 humble ballots into 5,000 votes for Biden. Poll workers and Biden voters are celebrating the miracle which could put Biden over the top in their state.
According to witnesses, a little boy brought 5 absentee ballots into the counting center in the early morning hours after Election Day. Within a few hours, those 5 votes had turned into 5,000. Sources say that Democrat disciples even filled 12 baskets with the leftover ballots.
“It’s a miracle,” said one election supervisor. “This is irrefutable evidence that God wants Biden to win!”
Officials confirmed this morning that thousands and thousands of additional Biden votes are pouring in from miraculous places. An entire pallet of votes was discovered under a bridge, and thousands more were discovered in an abandoned warehouse.
Further evidence suggests even the elderly have been divinely moved to vote for Biden after it was found that the entire population of every nursing home in the state had voted for the Democrat candidate.
So far, 273% of the state’s eligible voters have voted in the election in what appears to be yet another miracle.
Democrats everywhere have declared that their faith in dedicated ballot counters has been restored by this divine event.
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Another miracle is the “raising of the dead” for at least a brief opportunity to exercise their sacred vote.
I know it is humor but what is terribly sad is that it is closer to the truth than what the media is reporting.