Experts Call For 15 Days Of Counting To Flatten The Curve Of Votes For Trump

Via The Babylon Bee

U.S.—After a concerning spike in votes for Trump occurred on election night, experts are calling for 15 days of counting to flatten the curve of votes for the “wrong candidate.”

While some scientists recommended just letting the votes for Trump be counted fairly until we all achieve herd immunity to Trump, others said we need to lock down the vote-counting places, and make sure no one can get inside, in order to kill off the virus of Trump.

“If we all band together and allow just 15 days of counting, we can flatten the curve of votes for Trump,” said Dr. Fauci. “And we also advise Trump supporters to wear airtight masks. For, you know, science.”

The CDC, WHO, and China are all backing the plan, saying it is “SCIENCE!” and anyone who is opposed to it is “ANTI-SCIENCE!” However, the CDC quickly reversed its support for the decision, then went back and supported it again, then did it again, etc.

At publishing time, the experts had revised their recommendation to at least 8 months of counting to flatten the curve.

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5 Comments
Lee Harvey Griswald
Lee Harvey Griswald
November 5, 2020 3:52 pm

Hey kids, does anybody know what day it is?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LF1951pENdk

Glock-N-Load
Glock-N-Load
November 5, 2020 3:57 pm

Oh shit, that was funny.

Stucky
Stucky
  Glock-N-Load
November 5, 2020 4:10 pm

Yes, it was!!!

Babylon Bee is waaaaay funnier satire than The Onion ever was.

KaD
KaD
November 5, 2020 6:32 pm

EXCLUSIVE: Texas Poll Watcher Testifies On 2020 Voter Fraud In Houston, Has PHOTOS

EXCLUSIVE: International Audit Executive – Based on Results and a Review of Numerous Activities, the 2020 Presidential Election Was MATERIALLY CORRUPTED In Favor of Democrat Joe Biden

https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2020/11/watch-suitcases-coolers-rolled-detroit-voting-center-4-brought-secure-counting-area/

https://summit.news/2020/11/05/trump-supporters-question-why-absentee-ballots-were-filed-for-people-up-to-120-years-old/

Depressed Aussie
Depressed Aussie
November 6, 2020 6:15 am

Good to read another bee article. Brings a smile in a very dark time