The innermost circles of the American mafia are abuzz. The Boss of the Philly mob — ‘Skinny Joey’ Merlino — is taking a victory strut, hobnobbing around the highest echelons of old-time mafia folk, mostly in Florida, describing what may have been the heist of the century: the 2020 presidential election.
The feat is drawing praise from far-flung corners of the Italian American business community, which sees the thanks of a grateful administration as key to the revival of the community’s political influence.
But an associate says that Merlino might just be willing to flip on Joe Biden and the Pennsylvania political operatives who ordered up some 300,000 election ballots marked for Biden. The source alleges that Merlino and a lean team of associates manufactured those ballots at a rate of $10 per ballot — a whopping $3 million for three days of work. They were then packaged into non-descript cardboard boxes and dropped off outside the Philadelphia Convention Center.
Sources who spoke to The Chronicle on the condition of anonymity say that Merlino picked up those ballots from two private households where a trusted handful of associates were busily marking ballots with Sharpie markers. They were paid more than $1,000 per hour, often producing thousands of ballots every hour for more than 60 nearly-consecutive hours.
The ballots were purchased in cash.
It’s thought that Democratic Party operatives working inside Philadelphia’s election office provided Merlino with crates of raw ballots just hours before polls closed on election night, which he transported to two private households in South Philadelphia. By 10 p.m. that night Merlino’s operation was already generating more than 3,000 ballots per hour, which quickly scaled to more than 6,000 ballots per hour before midnight.
But now, Merlino might just be willing to flip on Biden — in primetime Congressional testimony — if President Donald J. Trump is willing to issue the longtime mobster a full expungement of his decades-long criminal record. And, of course, Merlino wants to be pardoned for the election fraud itself and any crimes to which he may incriminate himself during his testimony.
“He wants a clean record. He wants to fish and hunt on federal lands. He’d really like a job with the National Parks Service. You need a clean record to get those things,” explains one confidant. “But most of all he wants the thanks of a grateful nation for coming forward.”
“He wouldn’t mind a little fame — or a lot of fame,” he jokes. “If he comes forward he’ll probably get a book deal and a movie franchise.”
Political observers believe that Merlino could sell the rights of his story to a major Hollywood production studio for more than $20 million, and a book deal could yield as much as $10 million.
“You have to understand the thing about Skinny Joey is that he is very charismatic and knows how to tell an enthralling story,” the associate explains. “He’d be an incredible movie narrator, and he’d perform excellently in congressional testimony. He could hit that testimony so far out of the ballpark that he becomes a superstar instantaneously — a real celebrity presence.”
The damning congressional testimony — being tentatively dubbed ‘The Biggest Heist in Political History’ — could make it politically impossible for the Republican-controlled legislature in Pennsylvania to certify the State’s 20 electoral votes.
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I wonder if DEMs would ever be able to get anyone elected to sit in the White House if the mob didn’t flip a few cities for them. Not a surprise, and don’t you just love the name “Skinny Joey”? Shades of JFK and Chicago.
I’m sure there is a movie in this somewhere, good fellas just doing what they do.
a mafia gangster wants a clean record, so he can fish and hunt on federal lands?
and also be a park ranger?
there is something fishy here.
once you reach a certain level of wealth, you do not put worms on your own hook, nor do you hunt in locations wear joe six pack gets a chance to wack you with is 30-06
no my friends, clean record or not, you go charter fishing, or pro guided hunts, on private reserves, where they have hookers and blow waiting at the lodge.
This article smells worse than an dead carp, wrapped in a newspaper, stuffed into your mailbox, on a hot summer day.
Anon- I literally howled with laughter over the fishing and hunting on federal land. We will wait for the “skinny Joey” hunting and fishing show on the Outdoor Channel. I’m ‘spose to behave so I’m glad you posted that. 🙂
He wants to be a forest ranger, what’s to laugh about, doesn’t every Italian Mobster?
So, in one night they created 300,000 ballots, at a rate of 6,000 an hour? Something doesn’t add up…
Not that I don’t believe there was fraud, but in the words of Joe, common’ man, get real!
somebody is putting some disinfo out but who is doing it & why?
the story is plausible except 4 the details about the guy–
This will revealed as fake news in a couple of days to cast a shadow on legitimate fraud claims.
You are correct.
When you reach a certain level of wealth and power you hunt for quail and shoot your friends with a shotgun.
classic reference to the bowel movement known as Dick Cheney, another demon inhabiting a flesh suit on this planet.
Uh huh…look at those ballot counters. Not a White face in the bunch.
Has anybody actually verified the “ballot counters” are able to count? Just curious…
Maff be hard and shit.
Well, if Skinny Joey decides to confess, sounds like Hillary might have to come out of retirement to take care of things, if you know what I mean.
Ahh…NO!!!!
Give his 2nd and 3rd tier underlings absolution for thier testimony.
Nail skinny Joe’s balls to the wall!
“Some have postulated that Merlino would be well suited to host a new Bravo series…. That deal could come with a $2 million per season paycheck”
Actually, unless he’s in witness protection, that deal would come with a death sentence from the commission.
No, he won’t turn rat, because if he did, he’ll get a bullet not a book deal.
You know Trump folks are getting desperate when they start hoping to be rescued by some east-coast dago named Skinny Joey.
Stucky- I don’t know why some tard downed you, good comment. Clown World is getting stranger by the minute.
Thanks. Not to worry, BL …. this happens from time to time … I have a never-Stucky follower, voting down whatever I say, no matter what. NBD.
Or, it could just be a butt-hurt dago.
Diversity is a real bummer
By all means, educate us, mormontard pea shooter magnum.
Auntie thinks the Shitposter has a point here.
Around 20 yurs ago, I had a week of CE classes for water damage/mold in Philly. Took the Blue Line toward Rittenhouse one night and went into a Tex-Mex bar/restaurant on Walnut (Mustang?). A guy my age heard my southern accent, so he came over and we talked, as he grew up in Texas. He was a criminal defense attorney, so I asked him if he was defending Allen Iverson from pistol whipping his girlfriend. The bartender laughed. “What’s funny?” “Chris is Joey Merlino’s attorney”. Gulp.
The next hour or so was interesting. He told me to stay and go to Ed Rendell’s fundraiser Friday night. Ha ha ha. Didn’t. Jumped on ACELA back to sweetie pie at the time’s place on East 77th. He didn’t gove anything away but gave me a great education. Plus a great story or three.