Pelosi Announces Every $600 Check Will Come With Free Slice Of Cake

Via The Babylon Bee

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Nancy Pelosi has announced that every $600 stimulus check will come with a free slice of cake for Americans to eat.

She made the announcement in a speech yesterday after the stimulus bill was criticized for not doing enough for the middle class. The amendment to the $900 billion stimulus bill, coupled with the reasonable $2.3 trillion spending bill for the federal government, means that in addition to getting $600 created out of thin air, each American will get a slice of chocolate cake.

“Americans have been suffering, so we need to let them eat cake,” she said in front of Congress yesterday. “We closed down their businesses for the past nine months, so it’s the least we can do. Really. I do mean that. The least.”

Congress considered ice cream for every America, but Pelosi vetoed it as it was too expensive to give every American a $13 quart of the brand she eats. There was also talk of giving the option of vanilla cake, but that was shot down as being racist.

-----------------------------------------------------
It is my sincere desire to provide readers of this site with the best unbiased information available, and a forum where it can be discussed openly, as our Founders intended. But it is not easy nor inexpensive to do so, especially when those who wish to prevent us from making the truth known, attack us without mercy on all fronts on a daily basis. So each time you visit the site, I would ask that you consider the value that you receive and have received from The Burning Platform and the community of which you are a vital part. I can't do it all alone, and I need your help and support to keep it alive. Please consider contributing an amount commensurate to the value that you receive from this site and community, or even by becoming a sustaining supporter through periodic contributions. [Burning Platform LLC - PO Box 1520 Kulpsville, PA 19443] or Paypal

-----------------------------------------------------
To donate via Stripe, click here.
-----------------------------------------------------
Use promo code ILMF2, and save up to 66% on all MyPillow purchases. (The Burning Platform benefits when you use this promo code.)
Click to visit the TBP Store for Great TBP Merchandise
Subscribe
Notify of
guest
14 Comments
BL
BL
December 23, 2020 9:11 am

Pelosi and Chuckie S. have now agreed to $2000 checks for the proles since the word got out about what was actually in the 5500 page (NON) Stimulus Bill. If you read about the bill , keep a puke bucket handy. NEVER has there been a bigger insult to the American population than this pork laden travesty.

The bill is actually 2.3 TRILLION not 999BN and you should be livid that CONgress is trying to pull this over at a time where Americans are losing everything.

TN Patriot
TN Patriot
  BL
December 23, 2020 10:32 am

Come on, man. Congress is quite adept at providing Yuuuuge insults with pork laden bills. To call this as the ultimate might be an exaggeration.

Don’t forget that it was early in the morning on CHRISTmas Eve that they gave us a gigantic proctological probe known as 0bamacare. Could we see a repeat late tonight?

Abbi
Abbi
  TN Patriot
December 23, 2020 11:09 am

Agree, especially since obama robbed Medicare to pay for obamacare. As a Community Health RN , it was heartbreaking to see my patients struggle to pay for Tier 3 no generic available medications that had previously been covered by Medicare.

Maplesyrupjunkie
Maplesyrupjunkie
  BL
December 23, 2020 1:22 pm

Twas foretold.
comment image

musket
musket
December 23, 2020 10:09 am

They need to strip out every penny that is supposed to go “off shore” as well as every entity in the US that is not a family or small business…..

This includes the $495M +/- for the Ukraine……..this will not be a re placement to Burisma that was paid to Joey baby and Hunter. Everything else is bullsh*t……..plain and simple.

flash
flash
December 23, 2020 10:11 am

comment image

TN Patriot
TN Patriot
  Administrator
December 23, 2020 11:22 am

What if the machine knows you are a Trump voter and turns it into $10?

Gomer
Gomer
  TN Patriot
December 23, 2020 11:33 am

Then shoot the sombitch!!!

Anonymous
Anonymous
December 23, 2020 1:20 pm

The divisive pseudo-Christian Bee must burn.
comment image

Steve
Steve
December 23, 2020 8:07 pm

Sure, I’ll take the $2000 now knowing future taxes for it will be about $ 12,000.
As looooong as they keep the $4 BILLION for GAVI in this porkulus Bill, what’s not to love?

sarc…

BL
BL
  Steve
December 23, 2020 8:14 pm

Steve- That 4 BILLION for Bill Fukkin Gates GAVI was when I grabbed the puke bucket and smoke boiled off the top of my head.

Anonymous
Anonymous
December 23, 2020 10:20 pm

Does Congress know that nearly everyone is laughing at Them

AnonR
AnonR
  Anonymous
December 24, 2020 6:10 pm

This isn’t a laughing matter. These people are out to ruin everything.