WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a stunning miracle, congresspeople just emerged from negotiations over 2.3 trillion loaves and fishes, somehow turning the trillions of morsels of food into enough meals for just five people.
An exhausted Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) and Mitch McConnell (R-KY) held up the small basket so crowds of unemployed citizens could witness perhaps the most historic event in the history of mankind, in which countless loaves and fishes given by those same citizens were magically transformed into, like, four or five measly meals.
“This is significant,” noted a sweating Pelosi, surely weary after working nearly 40 hours per week for what must have felt like three weeks. “You won’t find anyone in history who could pull off such a biblical feat.” The representative from the utopian state of California then pulled from the basket a coupon for $5 off at Applebee’s and held it aloft before the jobless masses.
The legislators then negotiated with multiple government administrations to oversee the distribution of the basket through the crowd standing directly in front of them. Distribution of the food cost billions, according to official reports.
The lone recipients of the divine intervention—a family of five—tearfully praised their democratic representatives for taking a mere seven months to perform such a miracle. “I don’t know what to do with all of this food,” said the husband. “The government has provided my family with enough to last, I don’t know, maybe two days. Praise heavens!”
His wife, overcome with joy, added, “Wow, whichever economic theory advocating that the means of production, distribution, and exchange be owned or regulated by the community as a whole, which inevitably cedes all powers and freedoms to a bloated, inefficient, and corrupt centralized government, works way better than the dumb system in which a government allows for citizens to take control of their own lives through private ownership, personal responsibility, and providing honestly for their families.”
“Our work here is done,” said Senator McConnell as a soft glow surrounded his countenance. “Now we must go to our place of rest for a time until the needy of this country call for us again. Farewell!” The senator and other legislators were then taken up into the heavens by private jets to far off vacation destinations.
It is my sincere desire to provide readers of this site with the best unbiased information available, and a forum where it can be discussed openly, as our Founders intended. But it is not easy nor inexpensive to do so, especially when those who wish to prevent us from making the truth known, attack us without mercy on all fronts on a daily basis. So each time you visit the site, I would ask that you consider the value that you receive and have received from The Burning Platform and the community of which you are a vital part. I can't do it all alone, and I need your help and support to keep it alive. Please consider contributing an amount commensurate to the value that you receive from this site and community, or even by becoming a sustaining supporter through periodic contributions. [Burning Platform LLC - PO Box 1520 Kulpsville, PA 19443] or Paypal
-----------------------------------------------------
To donate via Stripe, click here.
-----------------------------------------------------
Use promo code ILMF2, and save up to 66% on all MyPillow purchases. (The Burning Platform benefits when you use this promo code.)
It would be funny if it weren’t so close to home… Chip
As my Dear Mother would say “They have no Shame!”
More to the point … they have no souls … having made their deals with the devil so very long ago …
An observant man will see the corrupt, contemporary politicians as the Pharisees of our time. Honest people are being undermined, doxxed, financially disrupted, bankrupted, or even murdered.
“The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun.”
~Ecclesiastes 1:9~ KJV
Everyone should claim Israel as a dependent on their 2020 tax returns.
The legislative package includes the annual $3.8 billion in assistance to Israel in accordance with the 2016 10-year $38 billion memorandum of understanding (MOU) between the United States and Israel. It consisted of $3.3 billion in security assistance and $500 million for US-Israel missile defense cooperation authorized by the National Defense Authorization Act (NDAA), which passed earlier this month.
The bill also allocates $47.5 million in anti-tunnel technology and $25 million for counter-unmanned aerial systems, two burgeoning areas of cooperation in addressing threats from tunnel attacks and drones.
Additionally, the legislation includes $2 million to fund a new US-Israel cooperative initiative on COVID-related and health technologies research; $2 million to fund a new Israel-US Agency for International Development international development cooperative program to support local solutions to address sustainability challenges; $4 million for the US-Israel Center of Excellence in Energy and Water; $2 million for the Israel Binational Industrial Research and Development (BIRD) Foundation supporting US-Israel energy cooperative programs; and $2 million for US-Israel cooperative efforts related to border security, maritime security, biometrics, cybersecurity and video analytics.
Finally, the bill allocates $2 million to fund a new strategic dialogue of the Eastern Mediterranean Partnership among the United States, Israel, Greece and Cyprus; and $50 million to fund and authorize the Nita M. Lowey Middle East Partnership for Peace Fund aimed at investing in economic and people-to-people partnerships between Israelis and Palestinians, named for Rep. Nita Lowey (D-NY), who is retiring and has been known as a stalwart ally of the Jewish state in Congress.
Following the legislation’s passage, the American Israel Public Affairs Committee heralded Congress “for ensuring critical support for Israel’s security and strengthening the US-Israel relationship.”
If the entire $1.6 trillion of student debt is forgiven then I’ll claim a couple of college students as dependents. But I’ll only go with those students who voted 2 or more times and participated in at least one ‘peaceful demonstration’.
Pray for the Peace of Jerusalem for Israel is the apple of God’s Eye!