FRIDAY FAIL

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creepy fap ninja Police Are Searching for a Criminal Now Known as The "Hipster Ninja Masturbator"

Police are on the lookout for a man who has made a “special” visit to the same house in Seattle up to four times according to Seattle PI.  You can probably guess what he’s doing based on the blurred out segment of the image.

See more at the Fail Blog

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637 Comments
Suds
Suds
March 12, 2021 11:14 am

worth a revisit, per Doc
comment image

brian
brian
  Suds
March 12, 2021 11:38 am

The Jo 2020 is enough right there to indicate there isn’t enough intelligence between them all to figure out that the best way into the car is to smash the window they are working to get past. Then simply plastic and tape it like the back window. Problem solved.

Bob P
Bob P
  Suds
March 12, 2021 11:40 am

The logo on the jacket is superfluous. I already knew who they voted for.

Mix
Mix
  Bob P
March 12, 2021 1:55 pm

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Anonymous
Anonymous
  Mix
March 13, 2021 4:45 pm

A “diverse” family just moved into my neighborhood. Six cars (all new,) 10 screaming kids, 3 bedrooms. None of the “adults” ever leave for work. Our country has failed.

Rusty Pipes
Rusty Pipes
  Anonymous
March 13, 2021 4:46 pm

Sorry that posted as anonymous…this is Rusty Pipes.

Hotstuff
Hotstuff
  Bob P
March 12, 2021 4:59 pm

“Stupid is as stupid does”… lol! 😉

Doctor de Vaca
Doctor de Vaca
  Suds
March 12, 2021 1:59 pm

A picture is worth a thousand words…Yep!

SGT SNUFFY
SGT SNUFFY
  Suds
March 12, 2021 4:05 pm

WELL HELL MY FREINDS JUST LOOK AT THEIR HOODIES.

Suds
Suds
March 12, 2021 11:18 am

What was seen, and what was Whisker’s expletive?
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Anonymous
Anonymous
  Suds
March 12, 2021 11:22 am

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me again
me again
  Anonymous
March 12, 2021 11:28 am

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YourAverageJoe
YourAverageJoe
  me again
March 12, 2021 2:16 pm

Hahahastupid cat.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Anonymous
March 12, 2021 11:31 am

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Bob P
Bob P
  Anonymous
March 12, 2021 11:36 am

I guess Pelosi just got out of the shower.

Suds
Suds
  Bob P
March 12, 2021 11:49 am

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Anonymous
Anonymous
  Suds
March 12, 2021 10:09 pm

was she so drunk she forgot her bra?
if she has a bra on, I’d hate to see those water balloons without one

Bob P
Bob P
March 12, 2021 11:19 am

Stop! Are you wearing your mask? Are you at least six feet away from any other human? Have you been vaccinated against a disease that you have a 0.2% chance of dying from? If yes to any of these, you may not enter Friday Fail. We will issue further guidance on what you can and cannot do once fully awake.

Mix
Mix
  Bob P
March 12, 2021 2:06 pm

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!…comment image

Roger V. Tranfaglia
Roger V. Tranfaglia
  Mix
March 12, 2021 7:54 pm

6!

brian
brian
  Roger V. Tranfaglia
March 12, 2021 9:12 pm

Still needs the shrink wrap over the head seal. safety first

J Hall
J Hall
  Roger V. Tranfaglia
March 13, 2021 11:24 am

She only stopped because she ran out of ear.

Suds
Suds
March 12, 2021 11:20 am

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Suds
Suds
March 12, 2021 11:25 am

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Suds
Suds
March 12, 2021 11:26 am

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Bob P
Bob P
  Suds
March 12, 2021 11:32 am

Woke Builders Inc prides itself on hiring only people of colour and LGBT contractors. Our results speak for themselves. If you don’t hire us for your next building project, you’re racist!

Mix
Mix
  Bob P
March 12, 2021 2:13 pm

Windell Washington resembles those remarks…comment image
W G Inc., movin’ on up.

TN Patriot
TN Patriot
  Mix
March 12, 2021 9:00 pm

Is that the bridge to nowhere?

J Hall
J Hall
  TN Patriot
March 13, 2021 11:26 am

No, that’s the bridge to the middle of the bay.

Suds
Suds
March 12, 2021 11:35 am

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Bob P
Bob P
  Suds
March 12, 2021 11:37 am

The Three Pooches?

Gloriously Deplorable Paul
Gloriously Deplorable Paul
  Suds
March 14, 2021 4:42 pm

“Is there anybody in there? Just nod if you can hear me. Is there anyone at home?”

Suds
Suds
March 12, 2021 11:36 am

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Bob P
Bob P
  Suds
March 12, 2021 11:48 am

Your honour, if someone told you, “Hey, freak, Dr. Frankenstein sure fucked up your ears,” you’d have torn his head off, too.

Gomer
Gomer
  Suds
March 12, 2021 12:40 pm

That’s MR. POTATO HEAD to you.

Mix
Mix
  Suds
March 12, 2021 2:21 pm

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Suds
Suds
March 12, 2021 11:42 am

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Bob P
Bob P
  Suds
March 12, 2021 11:51 am

May I suggest Betty Gee-I’m-sorry-that-whites-invented-everything-useful?

brian
brian
March 12, 2021 11:42 am

If the wimen can’t find you handsome at least they’ll find you handy…
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Bob P
Bob P
  brian
March 12, 2021 11:54 am

Still makes more sense than an EV.

ILuvCO2
ILuvCO2
  brian
March 12, 2021 12:12 pm

Gotta love a tiller handle.

Gomer
Gomer
  brian
March 12, 2021 12:42 pm

Now they can go for a “cruise”.

brian
brian
March 12, 2021 11:48 am

Can’t deny the proof…
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Bob P
Bob P
  brian
March 12, 2021 11:53 am

Come off it; that’s obviously a picture of a missing Pepsi.

tr4head
tr4head
March 12, 2021 11:52 am

Where’s my baby’s Daddy?

Bob P
Bob P
  tr4head
March 12, 2021 11:57 am

Not me. My wife had me neutered 30 years ago.

Suds
Suds
March 12, 2021 11:54 am

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Bob P
Bob P
  Suds
March 12, 2021 11:58 am

Exhibit 1 in the #MooToo movement.

Mix
Mix
  Bob P
March 12, 2021 2:38 pm

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ILuvCO2
ILuvCO2
March 12, 2021 12:03 pm

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brian
brian
March 12, 2021 12:04 pm

Training to be civil servants one day.comment image

Bob P
Bob P
  brian
March 12, 2021 12:07 pm

They have the useless part down pat, but they need to work on slouching off.

brian
brian
  Bob P
March 12, 2021 12:13 pm

They haven’t moved in an hour…

MrLiberty
MrLiberty
  brian
March 12, 2021 4:06 pm

There are 6 “supervisors” standing out of frame, watching.

prester kahn
prester kahn
  MrLiberty
March 13, 2021 3:55 pm

Squad leader, Platoon Leader, First Sargent, Company Commander, Sargent Major, Battalion Commander…

Suds
Suds
March 12, 2021 12:10 pm

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ILuvCO2
ILuvCO2
  Suds
March 12, 2021 12:13 pm

Here we go. I could hoist that!

Anonymous
Anonymous
  ILuvCO2
March 12, 2021 6:42 pm

She hoisted me…

Gomer
Gomer
  Suds
March 12, 2021 3:15 pm

She saw my hammer,sat on my wood then I nailed it.

Roger V. Tranfaglia
Roger V. Tranfaglia
  Suds
March 12, 2021 8:01 pm

HELL LOO Dere!!!

Suds
Suds
March 12, 2021 12:12 pm

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Suds
Suds
  Suds
March 12, 2021 2:40 pm

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Anonymous
Anonymous
  Suds
March 12, 2021 2:47 pm

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UGA guy
UGA guy
  Anonymous
March 12, 2021 7:03 pm

looks like a Triumph twin.

Suds
Suds
March 12, 2021 12:16 pm

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Gomer
Gomer
  Suds
March 12, 2021 3:17 pm

“Welcome to my kitchen, what would you like to eat?”

Guest
Guest
  Suds
March 12, 2021 5:27 pm

It’s sort of cute that you guys don’t know all these models are trans these days.

Roger V. Tranfaglia
Roger V. Tranfaglia
  Guest
March 12, 2021 8:02 pm

Yourrrrr just JEALOUS!!!

ILuvCO2
ILuvCO2
March 12, 2021 12:18 pm

Rich buttery taste. Ahhh noooo!!!

Known Associate
Known Associate
  ILuvCO2
March 12, 2021 8:11 pm

You must be batching it this week, Mike… }:o)

Suds
Suds
March 12, 2021 12:20 pm

18th Century carved door in Germany highlights rare workmanship
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Bob P
Bob P
  Suds
March 12, 2021 12:31 pm

Yeah, it’s pretty good, I guess, but I’d have thought the lady would be freaked out by a guy with two heads.

MrLiberty
MrLiberty
  Suds
March 12, 2021 1:01 pm

Too many white people, better carve it off.

Just a Medic
Just a Medic
  MrLiberty
March 12, 2021 9:03 pm

They’re obviously BROWN people…

brian
brian
March 12, 2021 12:20 pm

We took care of that guy boss, lock’m in the trunk.comment image

Suds
Suds
March 12, 2021 12:22 pm

bridge outside Da Nang, Vietnam held up by 2 giant stone hands
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Gomer
Gomer
  Suds
March 12, 2021 3:22 pm

Hands holding up a foot bridge? What is holding up the hand rail?

Bob P
Bob P
  Gomer
March 12, 2021 4:00 pm

Foot stools

Suds
Suds
March 12, 2021 12:25 pm

Mama’s got a squeeze box…
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Suds
Suds
  Suds
March 12, 2021 12:26 pm
Anonymous
Anonymous
  Suds
March 13, 2021 12:02 pm

Daddy doesn’t sleep at night.

nkit
nkit
March 12, 2021 12:28 pm

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nkit
nkit
March 12, 2021 12:29 pm

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Bob P
Bob P
  nkit
March 12, 2021 12:38 pm

Hot tug.

MrLiberty
MrLiberty
  nkit
March 12, 2021 1:03 pm

Hot tub with a great view.

Mix
Mix
  nkit
March 12, 2021 3:01 pm

comment imagecomment imagecomment image

nkit
nkit
March 12, 2021 12:30 pm

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MrLiberty
MrLiberty
  nkit
March 12, 2021 1:03 pm

Hot wheels are the best.

brian
brian
March 12, 2021 12:31 pm

Ummm… wut??comment image

Bob P
Bob P
  brian
March 12, 2021 12:41 pm

How’d the old saw go? Add a girl, subtract her clothes, divide her legs, and multiply.

nkit
nkit
March 12, 2021 12:31 pm

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nkit
nkit
March 12, 2021 12:32 pm

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Bob P
Bob P
  nkit
March 12, 2021 12:43 pm

Get back to me when I can I rent a woman like that.

MrLiberty
MrLiberty
  Bob P
March 12, 2021 1:28 pm

Here you go Bob. Not sure of the locations.

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Mix
Mix
  MrLiberty
March 12, 2021 3:08 pm

“Served chilled”, now that’s hot! Maybe that’s why 3 of 4 are redheads.

nkit
nkit
March 12, 2021 12:33 pm

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nkit
nkit
March 12, 2021 12:33 pm

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Bob P
Bob P
  nkit
March 12, 2021 12:49 pm

In the world of birds, as opposed to humans, retards don’t get to pass on their genes, as with this one whose eggs will splatter on the ground immediately after she lays them in her upside-down nest.

Pogrom
Pogrom
  Bob P
March 12, 2021 2:41 pm

WRONG!!!! 😛
The nest of a weaver bird often has a narrow tube-like entrance that opens upside down. It is hard for a predator to get inside the nest.comment image

The entrance is to one side and the pocket is for eggs.. it is an african bird so home invasions are a real issue.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Bob P
March 12, 2021 3:16 pm

…yet life goes on Bob.comment image

nkit
nkit
March 12, 2021 12:34 pm

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Bob P
Bob P
  nkit
March 12, 2021 12:56 pm

Africa wasn’t satisfied with sending hordes of barbarians to Europe; it had to send the Sahara desert north as well. The sand will soon disappear. Too bad the same can’t be said of the barbarians.

Mix
Mix
  nkit
March 12, 2021 3:38 pm

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nkit
nkit
March 12, 2021 12:35 pm

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ILuvCO2
ILuvCO2
  nkit
March 12, 2021 4:47 pm

can’t do the acidcow, wifi suck too much, sucks!

nkit
nkit
March 12, 2021 12:35 pm

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Bob P
Bob P
  nkit
March 12, 2021 1:00 pm

Whiling away the hours accomplishing nothing. Those plants remind me of me.

YourAverageJoe
YourAverageJoe
  Bob P
March 12, 2021 2:28 pm

Really?
They reminded me of cats.

nkit
nkit
March 12, 2021 12:37 pm

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Bob P
Bob P
  nkit
March 12, 2021 1:06 pm

Hey, maybe I can blow up my girlfriend with that bike.

MrLiberty
MrLiberty
  nkit
March 12, 2021 1:08 pm

It would have been quicker to have just ridden around.

nkit
nkit
March 12, 2021 12:38 pm

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nkit
nkit
March 12, 2021 12:39 pm

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Lingam
Lingam
  nkit
March 12, 2021 4:19 pm

This is called a “cadogan” teapot. The design feature has been around since at least the 15th century, but the name was applied in England during the early 19th century when some teapots of this type were imported from China. Most of them have a more attractive appearance than this one.

nkit
nkit
March 12, 2021 12:39 pm

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MrLiberty
MrLiberty
  nkit
March 12, 2021 1:12 pm

Do these come in human-size? Asking for a friend.

Mix
Mix
  nkit
March 12, 2021 3:51 pm

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nkit
nkit
March 12, 2021 12:40 pm

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nkit
nkit
March 12, 2021 12:41 pm

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Bob P
Bob P
  nkit
March 12, 2021 1:08 pm

I wonder if that would work to de-ice my wife?

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Bob P
March 13, 2021 12:43 pm

I like my women like I like my coffee. Cold and bitter.

nkit
nkit
March 12, 2021 12:42 pm

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Bob P
Bob P
  nkit
March 12, 2021 1:10 pm

My answer to Biden’s plan to let us know what he permits us to do on Independence Day.

1969Bird
1969Bird
  Bob P
March 12, 2021 1:47 pm

Just moved to SC and every day is Independence Day!

Anonymous
Anonymous
  1969Bird
March 14, 2021 4:56 pm

when the sh-t hits the fan this the place to be.

Lingam
Lingam
  nkit
March 12, 2021 4:28 pm

This is the BrahMos supersonic (mach 2.8+) cruise missile, which was jointly developed by India and Russia, and is currently the world’s fastest known cruise missile. A hypersonic version is under development and is expected to achieve mach 7 to mach 8.

nkit
nkit
March 12, 2021 12:42 pm

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Bob P
Bob P
  nkit
March 12, 2021 1:12 pm

Now, if only the bastards would let us watch a ballgame without all their asinine rules.

Gomer
Gomer
  nkit
March 12, 2021 3:34 pm

Just can’t figure out why the beers are 15 bucks.

Captain_Obviuos
Captain_Obviuos
  Gomer
March 12, 2021 5:56 pm

They’re just trying to get us used to the New America™ and how things is gonna be.

nkit
nkit
March 12, 2021 12:43 pm

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Bob P
Bob P
  nkit
March 12, 2021 1:13 pm

Does it come in blue?

1969Bird
1969Bird
  nkit
March 12, 2021 1:48 pm

Sorry only Red States get to have anything nice.

nkit
nkit
March 12, 2021 12:44 pm

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nkit
nkit
March 12, 2021 12:44 pm

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Dan_of_Reason
Dan_of_Reason
  nkit
March 12, 2021 8:08 pm

Where can I get one!?!

nkit
nkit
March 12, 2021 12:45 pm

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Bob P
Bob P
  nkit
March 12, 2021 1:22 pm

The last words Herman heard was his Garmin GPS instructing him, “In 50 meters, take a left.”

nkit
nkit
March 12, 2021 12:46 pm

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nkit
nkit
March 12, 2021 12:47 pm

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MrLiberty
MrLiberty
  nkit
March 12, 2021 1:15 pm

$300 television, $15,000 contraption.

brian
brian
  MrLiberty
March 12, 2021 1:37 pm

Takes 25 minutes to unfold. You know that after a month of owning the stupid thing it’d never be folded down again.

Panama Red
Panama Red
  MrLiberty
March 12, 2021 8:56 pm

And the only show worth watching is reruns of Green Acres.

Bob P
Bob P
  nkit
March 12, 2021 1:24 pm

Or, you could just spend about 1% of what this costs to have one that doesn’t go into the floor.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  nkit
March 12, 2021 10:19 pm

breaks after the 5th time and costs more to fix than to buy a new one

nkit
nkit
March 12, 2021 12:48 pm

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nkit
nkit
March 12, 2021 12:48 pm

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Anonymous
Anonymous
  nkit
March 14, 2021 5:01 pm

starlink deployment. thank elon musk. will kill the blood sucking cable companies.

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