After World Realizes He Was Right About Everything, Alex Jones Appointed As New Head Of CDC

Via The Babylon Bee

ATLANTA, GA—Alex Jones has been appointed as the new CDC director after everyone realized he was right about everything all along.

“We have been startled by the uncanny accuracy with which all his conspiracy theories have come true,” said former director Robert Redfield. “Everything from the Wuhan lab leak to the Great Reset initiative was predicted by Mr. Jones. Eventually, we just said, ‘Welp, this Jones guy seems to know something we don’t know.’ We thought it might be best to just let him run this whole operation.”

We should probably just let him run the WHO as well.”

Dr. Anthony Fauci has loudly protested the appointment of Jones. Sources say he has been forced to shut down his secret “Gay Frog Initiative” and mutant vampire lizard experiments in Wuhan before Jones discovers what he has been up to.

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14 Comments
GNL
GNL
  Administrator
May 26, 2021 1:15 pm

Fucking clown world. This is how fucked up shit can get when people believe themselves to be completely untouchable.

So, yeah, why not Alex Jones?

Iska Waran
Iska Waran
  Administrator
May 26, 2021 2:22 pm

Fauci probably has tens of millions in offshore accounts. I’m sure he’s made a ton off of Gilead Sciences stock.

BL
BL
  Iska Waran
May 26, 2021 7:29 pm

This just in to the newsroom>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

CONgress is working to approve $3 Billion for tv ads to halt vaccine hesitancy and encourage the jab.

Your tax $$$$ at work.

Auntie Kriest
Auntie Kriest
May 26, 2021 1:32 pm

Alex Jones has bronze stones. He is correct about much too much. Jones, Steve Quayle, and David Icke called this demonic B3RG* – NWO nightmare decades ago.

MrLiberty
MrLiberty
May 26, 2021 1:42 pm

Alex, or either Ron or Rand Paul. Dr. Mercola would be ok too, along with Bill Sardi. But any of them would be dead within hours from Pharmacide.

Anonymous
Anonymous
May 26, 2021 1:54 pm

Alex has been correct about nearly everything. There’s still time for him to hit 100%.

B. Les White
B. Les White
May 26, 2021 1:59 pm

Before trump, AJ used to have people like dr mercola on all the time. Taught me a lot about health, wellness really, that i didnt learn in college and that runs counter to almost every MD i work with.
He’s definitely not everyone’s cup of tea, but if you can filter out the hyperbole and grabdstanding there is almost always a solid message.

Calamity
Calamity
May 26, 2021 2:00 pm
Iska Waran
Iska Waran
May 26, 2021 2:17 pm

I’m not even sure Alex Jones was wrong about Sandy Hook. Lot of weird shit about that whole scene.

Iska Waran
Iska Waran
May 26, 2021 2:18 pm

Semi-related..:

Iska Waran
Iska Waran
May 26, 2021 2:20 pm

At this point “conspiracy theory” basically means “something that’s true”.

Trapped in Portlandia
Trapped in Portlandia
May 26, 2021 2:44 pm

If Fauci can call himself a doctor and Joe Biden’s wife can call herself a doctor, then I’m happy address him as Dr. Alex Jones.

BL
BL
  Trapped in Portlandia
May 26, 2021 7:13 pm

All actors, acting. How long will you play their game of life?

Sniff…sniff, is that coffee, breath in deep.