How To Scare Your Kids The COVID Way

Submitted by Steve Z

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10 Comments
Iska Waran
Iska Waran
October 22, 2021 5:49 pm

At the Y I attend, the swimming classes for 6 year olds are taught by instructors (who look to be ~ 30) wearing plastic face shields. Maybe it’s some rule they have to follow. For some weird reason, all the swim instructors seem to be grossly obese. On the one hand, they seem to be nice to the kids and at least they’re moving their bodies a little bit, but it is strange that they’re all really fat. Most of the swim instructors seem kind of undecided on their gender. Why are most of the transsexuals and non-binaries so fat? I figure that being so unattractive, they can’t get a normal date, so they get sad and decide they’re non-binary or whatever.

The face shields obviously serve no purpose other than to freak the kids out.

Abigail Adams
Abigail Adams
  Iska Waran
October 22, 2021 5:57 pm

Sounds like a totally fun, normal place to workout. How do you stomach it?

Iska Waran
Iska Waran
  Abigail Adams
October 23, 2021 12:22 am

Lol. It’s more normal than I made it sound. For some reason, though, after being closed part of 2020 for Covid, the new hires in the pool area are all androgynous heifers.

Abigail Adams
Abigail Adams
  Iska Waran
October 23, 2021 9:36 am

“…androgynous heifers.”

Gross. No wonder teen pregnancy is down.

Red River D
Red River D
  Iska Waran
October 22, 2021 6:54 pm

“…Why are most of the transsexuals and non-binaries so fat?…”

Because they have neither the inclination nor the ability to render sound decisions on issues of personal responsibility. They don’t know how to develop a robust worldview or a rugged character. They lack all semblance of mental fortitude and self-discipline.

And because the American diet has become based on high-fructose corn syrup and ultra high-processed, nutrient deprived, empty calorie trash which makes a person twice as fat with half the caloric intake.

Endocrine-disrupting placticisers in processed food and packaging also make soft and flabby bodies even softer and flabbier. Rolls pile up on rolls. The perma-scowl becomes prevalent. The breasts grow on males and shrink on females, and then the hair naturally changes over to metallic mint green or plumb crazy purple.

And there you have it.

Iska Waran
Iska Waran
  Red River D
October 23, 2021 12:23 am

Sounds about right.

Svarga Loka
Svarga Loka
  Iska Waran
October 22, 2021 8:42 pm

I’d rather assume the risk of drowning for my kids than exposing them to that/it/him/her.

falconflight
falconflight
  Svarga Loka
October 22, 2021 10:17 pm

Spock, your logic is impeccable. ;0

Quiet Mike
Quiet Mike
  Iska Waran
October 22, 2021 10:30 pm

Cue “YMCA” by The Village People.

Colorado Artist
Colorado Artist
October 24, 2021 5:45 pm

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