We got a ton of letters from those of you who took our “Are you a woman?” test saying things like “I don’t think I’m a woman. Is there another thing I could be?” The answer is yes! If you’re not a woman, you just might be a man. To find out for sure, see the 12 most common warning signs that you might be a man.
1. Do you pretend to enjoy cigars?
2. Is it uncomfortable crossing your legs for some reason?
3. Do you stand by open car hoods pointing and gesturing?
4. Can you effortlessly win at every women’s sport?
5. Do you enjoy thinking about absolutely nothing for long periods of time?
6. Are you incapable of finding the milk in the fridge even while staring directly at it?
7. Do you refer to a team of professional athletes who have no idea who you are as “we?”
8. Can you navigate unfamiliar roads but are hopelessly lost in a mall?
9. Do you pause Lord of the Rings 800 times to provide commentary?
10. Would you be completely and utterly helpless without your spouse?
11. Did you think about sex 27 times while reading this list? 28? 29? Good grief…
12. Do you have XY Chromosomes?
Tally up your number of “Yes” answers and consult this chart:
0-2: There’s a small chance you’re a woman. Sorry!
3-5: We’re getting some real masculine vibes here.
6-8: Starting to look kinda likely that you’re probably a dude.
9-11: Definitely a man.
12: You are the most epic and manly man who ever lived. Congrats!
It is my sincere desire to provide readers of this site with the best unbiased information available, and a forum where it can be discussed openly, as our Founders intended. But it is not easy nor inexpensive to do so, especially when those who wish to prevent us from making the truth known, attack us without mercy on all fronts on a daily basis. So each time you visit the site, I would ask that you consider the value that you receive and have received from The Burning Platform and the community of which you are a vital part. I can't do it all alone, and I need your help and support to keep it alive. Please consider contributing an amount commensurate to the value that you receive from this site and community, or even by becoming a sustaining supporter through periodic contributions. [Burning Platform LLC - PO Box 1520 Kulpsville, PA 19443] or Paypal
-----------------------------------------------------
To donate via Stripe, click here.
-----------------------------------------------------
Use promo code ILMF2, and save up to 66% on all MyPillow purchases. (The Burning Platform benefits when you use this promo code.)
Pretty sure that I would not effortlessly win at a woman’s sport. But I’m OK with that. Now where’s the porn?
This article interrupted my thinking about nothing. I am upset.
I can always find the milk. I know where milk comes from and a full awareness of them and anything that comes from them.
1. No. I don’t pretend. Please send a box of Henry Clays.
2. Ankle on knee, no. Knee on knee, how do people do that?
3. No. I’m too busy turning wrenches.
4. Everything but gymnastics. Women have some weird rules and moves for that and I think you have to be under 5 foot and 90 pounds to pull some of them off.
5. Duh!
6. I don’t eat baby food.
7. No. I was captain of the team. They know who I am.
8. I think it has something to do with the steel girders blocking the Earth’s magnetic field in a mall.
9. On a good day when I can restrain myself.
10. The whole damned neighborhood would fall apart without me. Basic life competence has gone to hell.
11. Well Jeezum Crow, there was a Victoria’s Secret ad being pushed at me.
12. Yes.
Did a woman write this?
I will check if you like.
Not that thread again…
There needs to be a face palm emoji…
😂 Svarga actually had a quote awhile back…I can’t remember it, maybe she does…about what happens during hard times.
😂😂 Um, no that wasn’t it.
You’ve been trying to get me pregnant for awhile now. The test is still negative. Maybe you should try harder.
It’s in my nature. 🙂
One of the best exchanges is movie history:
Ned Pepper: What’s your intention? Do you think one on four is a dogfall?
Rooster Cogburn: I mean to kill you in one minute, Ned. Or see you hanged in Fort Smith at Judge Parker’s convenience. Which’ll it be?
Ned Pepper: I call that bold talk for a one-eyed fat man.
Rooster Cogburn: Fill your hand, you son of a bitch!
Forever immortalized by the sculptor Harry Jackson:
Don’t tell her now, but the only way to keep it legal in the eyes of God is for AA to become MRS. RIVER!!!
And she’d have to learn how to move cattle from horseback and drive a tractor.
That’s an acceptable solution, Red River D.
Please reach out to her via Admin and see if she’s interested. Hopefully he has her email. If not, create a new email and post it on TBP.
She’s already in Texas and can ride a horse. So there’s that.
Thanks for the offer. Let’s see if Abigail takes you up on it.
I’d have to earn my keep?? What if I break a nail?
This is more of what I have in mind…
///
I’m not a tomboy! 😂 But…I don’t have a problem with dirt either…as long as it’s clean.
///
///
Archie…I can handle my own affairs…thank you for your concern. 🙂
OK. I’ll stop.
You are VERY helpful. 😘
You know he jumped all over that like a rabid used car salesman because he hopes you’d generate at least seven or eight members of his favorite race.
Rather Machiavellian of him, no?
What the heck happened here while I was gone?
#4 – My wife kicks my ass in pickleball
#10 – Yes, her income
13. Do you place dirty dishes and/or cutlery in the kitchen sink, when it takes just the same amount of effort to put them right into the dishwasher?
That is only true for women. Men are taller generally and have a different bone structure and we’re congenitally reluctant to engage in household chores.
“…put them right into the dishwasher.”
The what?
Stand with your butt and heels against a wall. If you can bend over and touch your toes without falling over, you’re a woman. Little arcane knowledge there… Women’s center of gravity is lower.
#13. You know the Cartridge capacity of a En Bloc Clip for a M-1 Garand Rifle.
I failed #10. I don’t have a spouse but I am far from helpless and proud of it!!!