Disinformation Board Confirms Rachel Levine Is A Woman

Babylon Bee

WASHINGTON, D.C.—The official DHS Disinformation Governance Board, more popularly known as the Ministry of Truth, confirmed today their latest disinformation findings: Rachel Levine is a woman.

The declaration occurred at a press conference held this morning at the Ministry’s gigantic, pyramid-shaped, 1000-foot-tall building that towers over Washington.

“There’s a lot of disinformation going around out there, with people pointing out Rachel Levine’s low voice register, prominent Adam’s apple, and propensity to not ask for help at Home Depot,” said Secretary of Homeland Security Alejandro Mayorkas standing at a towering lectern in front of a banner reading “War Is Peace, Freedom is Slavery, Rachel Levine Is A Woman.”

“These are all hallmarks of classic Russian disinformation campaigns designed to destabilize our society and help Putin beat us.”

Other pieces of disinformation going around, according to Mayorkas, include the idea that Disney is grooming kids, the claim that inflation is happening, the far-right misinformation campaign painting Joe Biden as a senile, incompetent old boob, the claim that a triangle is a three-sided figure, and the “horribly offensive notion that the grass is green.”

“If you see anyone sharing these ideas, report them immediately.”

At publishing time, Mayorkas had confirmed that anyone who shares the disinformation that Rachel Levine is a man will be called into the Ministry of Love for questioning.

 

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13 Comments
Dark Thoughts
Dark Thoughts
May 12, 2022 8:37 pm

It would have to be human first.

Stucky
Stucky
May 12, 2022 9:04 pm

I make a plea to EVERY TPBer — I’m on my knees here — to never never never ever again post a picture of That Thing.

I thank you.
My dick thanks you.
Can I get an Amen?

Aunt Acid
Aunt Acid
  Stucky
May 12, 2022 10:03 pm

Amen ( or at least display a food and beverage warning beforehand.)

Iska Waran
Iska Waran
  Stucky
May 12, 2022 10:33 pm

Are you sure it’s not like when George Constanza got a massage from a guy and … “it moved”?

Oldtoad of Green Acres
Oldtoad of Green Acres
  Stucky
May 13, 2022 7:06 am

Jealousy is a terrible thing Stuck.
You only wish you could generate such revulsion and contempt with just a single snapshot. Work on it.
Be proud of what you are, like Rachel says, “If you don’t think I’m a woman, you can suck my D**K!”

Iska Waran
Iska Waran
May 12, 2022 10:23 pm

Speaking of narrative manipulation, I notice that the pro-abortion people no longer talk about abortion “to save the life or health of the mother”. They’ve replaced “the mother” with “the woman”. Because “mother” imparts humanity to the child. They’ve obviously been spreading the word amongst themselves that “we’re not saying ‘life of the mother’ anymore”.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Iska Waran
May 13, 2022 9:13 am

They’ve replaced “the mother” with “the woman”.

The’ve replaced “mother” with what? What is that last term? How are they defining it?

MrLiberty
MrLiberty
May 12, 2022 11:28 pm

XX=FEMALE
XY= MALE

Trust the science.

Thunder
Thunder
May 13, 2022 4:22 am

Drop her / his Nickers and see the Tuck or the walnuts and little boy.
That is how it is done in the Hospitals. Affirmative proof..
Swingers or Vagina… nothing else is or does exist

MrLiberty
MrLiberty
  Thunder
May 13, 2022 8:41 am

Plenty of masterful genital mutilators exist that can create real-looking things between anyone’s legs. The issue should NEVER be about outward appearance as that will only further enable the sports cheaters without applying the proper testing, while further encouraging the fence sitters who haven’t yet permanently destroyed their bodies. It’s about genes, not what’s in them.

Marky
Marky
  Thunder
May 13, 2022 5:20 pm

To be fair, on extremely rare occasions babies are born with both genitalia with only 1 functional and the doctors have to decide what it is and proceed to cut off/close one or the other. Some born with a micro penis. That would suck. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/ambiguous-genitalia/symptoms-causes/syc-20369273

oldvet50
oldvet50
May 13, 2022 7:50 am

This fact alone, although there are thousands of other examples, proves that the people placed in power over us are absolutely batshit crazy…..and the rest of the world knows it and are planning accordingly.

whoopie
whoopie
May 13, 2022 12:50 pm

Ersatz admiral RICHARD Levine is a fat, ugly man in a dress. He can shove his phony admiral stripes up his mangina.