Wherein I Discuss Home Mechanical Systems, The Economy, Otters Running A Nuclear Plant, and Pelosi Alcohol Consumption

Guest Post from John Wilder

“Iced tea. . . air conditioning . . . water.” – Stargate SG-1

I went to an air conditioning conference once.  It was pretty cool.

Let’s begin our tour of the economics world with the lowly thermostat.  When The Mrs. and I were first married, The Mrs. would turn the thermostat on our air conditioner way down in the summer, say, to 62°F (45km).  This led to the house gradually beginning to cool down, but the air conditioner would labor on like a Billy Barty attempting to oil a “modern” Sports Illustrated, um, model with a stepladder and a 55 gallon bucket.

This electrical effort by our air conditioner would continue until the outside of the house would resemble Joe Biden after he’s seen his latest approval ratings:  a cold sweat on the exterior of the house as the moisture outside condensed on the meat-locker temperature windows.

I asked The Mrs., “Why do you turn it down so low?”

“So it gets colder, faster.”

The Mrs. says I’m an absolute 10 – on the Kelvin scale.

Now, on the surface, that sort of logic makes sense.  If I spin the dial on the stove farther, it heats up my Dinty Moore Beef Stew® and Orange Jell-O© mix faster (goes great with corn and doughnuts).  Twisting the dial puts more energy onto the stovetop.  But (at least in every house I’ve lived at) the air conditioning doesn’t work like that – at all.

The air conditioner at our house is either on or it’s off.  There is no “kinda on” or “working as hard as a Supreme Court Clerk deleting his phone texts” setting.  Nope.

On.

Off.

Two choices.  So, if you want it to be 68°F, and you put it to 68°F it will get to 68°F exactly as fast as if you put it down to 40°F.  But not everything works that way, and The Mrs. can certainly be forgiven for not knowing that when we met.  Plus, in our case, the air conditioner dries the air, so when I woke up in our 40°F house in the summertime, the air was making fun of Hillary Clinton since it was as dry as Norm Macdonald’s wit.

I hear that when Norm got to Heaven, St. Peter told him, “Norm, you have to have an eye test.  Cover one eye.”  Norm covers one eye and reads the chart:  “E-I-E-I . . . Oh, come on!  I wasn’t that old!”

The economy is certainly more complicated than a household HVAC unit, but I’m not sure the incompetent participation trophy award winners at the White House have any sort of clue.  At all.  They’re like putting playful river otters in charge of running a nuclear reactor.  Sure, it’s all fun and games watching them be all nimbly-pimbly with the control rods.  But sooner or later (mainly sooner) the control rods will be pulled and the uranium will eventually melt into a radioactive mess that’s slightly more destructive than the Amber Heard v. Johnny Depp trial after the core melts down.

I believe this is actually from the trial –  Lawyer:  “Did you see what happened after you left?”  Depp:  “I wasn’t there after I left.”

The point is that our economy is complicated, and we’re dealing with a current Resident of the Oval Office that would find running a YouTube® video complicated.  “What do you mean, I press the button and the sheep start to talk?  How does that happen?  Who puts them in there?”

It would be hilarious if we weren’t actually living through this, like when Caligula named his horse a Senator of Rome.  My sides are still in stitches about that one!  But when it’s us, it’s scary.  I mean, Kamala’s not exactly a horse, but, still, the analogy holds, even in this case if it rhymes.

The air conditioner analogy (as a very simple one) actually does have some meaning in this case.  When an economy is stalled, there is a case (not the best one, but at least a case) for using money to restart it.  Sure, it’s dangerous.  And I can make the argument that we’ve done it so many times that it’s really messed up the entire system.

I hear she’s auditioned to be a Batman® villain – The Giggler™.

But after the system is going, by continually forcing more money into the system, well, as Joe said, “I did that.”

If that were the only issue, it might be solvable.  It’s just one variable.  Have Kamala and AOC eat all the spare money and then it might be as okay as Buddy Holly in a parachute.  Might.

Joe, however, has other ideas.  When you put sanctions on a nation, the idea is to hurt that nation.  Really, that was their plan.  But the sanctions against Russia (along with the war, which I also blame Biden for – he could have stopped it with ONE PHONE CALL) have resulted in soaring fertilizer and food prices.  That’s bad enough, but it has also popped fuel prices to record highs – The Mrs. wanted to give me something rare and valuable for Father’s Day, so I just asked for five gallons of gasoline.

Fuel impacts everything.

Roses are red, violets are blue, Janet Yellen doesn’t care about you.

The combination of these sanctions and war have effects that haven’t been felt yet – not remotely.  An example:  a farmer normally fertilizes his alfalfa to increase yield.  Not this year – the cost increase for fertilizer far outstrips what he expects to make in revenue.  So, he deals with the “natural” yields.  Due to high diesel costs, he also gets less money after the cost for harvesting is deducted.

What eats alfalfa?

Well, for one, cattle.  So, less alfalfa, more expensive food for cattle.  More expensive food for cattle?  Well, if the rancher can’t make a profit, he’ll sell the herd.  Those aren’t magic, and cattle don’t regenerate immediately like Wolverine®, so if you think we have high beef prices now . . . . just wait.

That’s the second idea:  every action has a reaction.  Some are immediate, like lower amounts of oil leading to higher prices.  Others are longer-term.  There’s a delay between taking the action and the result.

Going back to houses, this is like water hammer.  That’s what happens when a valve closes too fast in a poorly designed plumbing system.  The closing of the valve sends a pressure wave back and forth through the system, rattling the pipes as the pressure goes (at the speed of sound!) through the piping system.  If you’ve ever lived in a house with water hammer, you know the sound.  It’s loud.

But a simple act, closing a valve, can send waves of pressure moving back and forth through the system.

If you find a bomb that explodes when it’s stepped on, let me know.  It’s mine.

We haven’t seen the end of those pressure waves from the magical sanctions that were supposed to have weakened the Russians but have instead raised the value of the ruble and thrown the food and fuel systems of the world into turmoil.  Again, my analogy of otters running a nuclear reactor doesn’t appear to be far off as these secondary impacts reverberate through the system.

Eventually, these systems come back into equilibrium.  However, unlike the consequences of a 40°F house, in this case we end up with the possibility of an economy more wrecked than the Pelosi family after about 11 AM.

As Nancy would say, “Cheers!”

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