Silver Alert: Lost Old Man Seen Yelling On Capitol Grounds

Babylon Bee

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WASHINGTON, D.C. — Local authorities have issued a Silver Alert after several on Capitol Hill reported seeing a lost old man yelling incoherently at people. The subject is described as an elderly man about 6 feet tall with silver-colored hair plugs and dentures. Caretakers confirmed the man has late-stage dementia and must be returned to a caretaking facility as soon as possible. Please report any further sightings to the D.C. Police immediately.

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3 Comments
YourAverageJoe
YourAverageJoe
February 10, 2023 7:27 pm

Jackass alert!
Will destroy the world if not stopped.
Be aware!

Iska Waran
Iska Waran
February 10, 2023 8:24 pm

We laugh, but there’s a non-zero chance that if the country survives that long, he could still be president on the morning of January 20, 2029.

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The Central Scrutinizer
The Central Scrutinizer
February 11, 2023 8:40 am

This isn’t satire…it’s predictive programming.