HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY

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68 Comments
The Duke of New York
The Duke of New York
February 14, 2023 8:21 am

Timing is the key to all good comedy

Anonymous
Anonymous
  The Duke of New York
February 14, 2023 10:26 am

Aeronautics lends levity to the soul of wit, which is brevity.

eraser
eraser
February 14, 2023 8:49 am

Just sitting here thinking a) how much she deserved it and b) how he obviously dodged a MOAB.

zappalives
zappalives
February 14, 2023 8:56 am

Betcha a nickel shes a democrat.

YourAverageJoe
YourAverageJoe
  zappalives
February 14, 2023 8:57 am

And her name is Karen.

Anonymous
Anonymous
February 14, 2023 9:01 am

No self control everyone’s a thespian today

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Anonymous
February 14, 2023 1:05 pm

thespian

Carpet muncher with a lisp.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Anonymous
February 14, 2023 11:19 pm

prolly told her he was leaving her for a guy named Pete.

Iska Waran
Iska Waran
February 14, 2023 9:09 am

She could always try losing weight.

Hal
Hal
  Iska Waran
February 15, 2023 6:09 am

That tactic is only used during the 3 months prior to wedding day.

Steve Z.
Steve Z.
February 14, 2023 9:12 am

With the price of roses who could blame him?
She is nucking futs anyway.

Glock-N-Load
Glock-N-Load
February 14, 2023 9:14 am

The guy has to be a fucktard. Breakup on a plane?

Snidely Whiplash
Snidely Whiplash
  Glock-N-Load
February 14, 2023 9:17 am

George Bush published a book?

“Breaking Up With No Exit Strategy.”

Unbelievable
Unbelievable
  Snidely Whiplash
February 14, 2023 1:59 pm

He obviously thought the plane was the best place to break up. After all, with so many people around, there’s no way she would get overly dramatic, ya know? oops. Sometimes logic is a liability.

Euddolen ap Afallach
Euddolen ap Afallach
  Glock-N-Load
February 14, 2023 4:08 pm

I don’t think he was stupid.
I think he created a great method to create multiple witnesses of your girlfriend’s insane behavior, and break up with her at the same time.
___
That said, knowing she is insane, his decision to choose a commercial flight as the best time and place to dissolve his relationship probably placed everyone on the flight at risk, should the Kranky Kareena have opened a cabin door or such.

TampaRed
TampaRed
  Euddolen ap Afallach
February 14, 2023 8:28 pm

the crazy hot matrix

fujigm
fujigm
  Glock-N-Load
February 15, 2023 12:38 am

Breakup on a plane is always better than breakup of a plane.
It’s all about perspective…

Abigail Adams
Abigail Adams
February 14, 2023 9:17 am

Good grief.

Proper response: Your loss, loser.

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Anonymous
Anonymous
  Abigail Adams
February 14, 2023 11:18 am

Hey! I can partially please a woman.
.
At least, I did once.
I think.
.
Do you suppose she was faking being partially pleased?

Iska Waran
Iska Waran
  Anonymous
February 14, 2023 12:50 pm

Helen Gurly Brown (editor of Cosmo) once said “there’s no such thing as bad sex or bad pizza”.

Men everywhere agree.

Abigail Adams
Abigail Adams
  Iska Waran
February 14, 2023 1:00 pm

You read Cosmo??

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@ one time 👁 Did, Voraciously...
@ one time 👁 Did, Voraciously...
  Abigail Adams
February 14, 2023 9:24 pm

“You read Cosmo??”

…BEST Field Guide & Trade Craft Manual. EVER.

‘Twas FREE! AND provided Real-Life ‘Simulations’.

It’s a Long Story.

Hal
Hal
  Anonymous
February 15, 2023 6:11 am

Is her name Elaine?

Did you sleep with her before marriage?...
Did you sleep with her before marriage?...
  Hal
February 15, 2023 6:49 am

…or something like that.

“Is her name Elaine?”

Sorry! Do NOT know what her maiden name was.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Abigail Adams
February 14, 2023 11:39 am

At least she still has a vote .
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It's a Womder!
It's a Womder!
  Anonymous
February 14, 2023 9:27 pm

“At least she still has a vote .”

Hmmm. DID NOT scroll all the way to the bottom. Yet. Maybe Below will reveal….

75% are running around unmedicated?

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Administrator
February 14, 2023 10:36 am

Tweetney for valentine’s .

Starter Pack?
Starter Pack?
  Administrator
February 14, 2023 9:36 pm

Substitute a blindfold for the Mask, Some ratcheting rope binders, bulk J-Lube powder, (mixing in advance, to the proper consistency an ‘Art’, in & of itself) some exercise slings, Etc.

‘Master/Mistress’ the Possibilities!

2-Way Street. A Hitachi NEVER ‘Hurts’. Either.

Watch out for flailing! You’ll figure it out.

hardscrabble farmer
hardscrabble farmer
February 14, 2023 9:32 am

SELL THE HOUSE
SELL THE CAR
SELL THE KIDS
FIND SOMEONE ELSE
FORGET IT
I’M NEVER COMING BACK
FORGET IT

Abigail Adams
Abigail Adams
  hardscrabble farmer
February 14, 2023 1:30 pm

Vintage Valentine that pushed women’s right to vote. Probably designed by a man. (Smithsonian)

Enjoy.

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fujigm
fujigm
  hardscrabble farmer
February 15, 2023 12:45 am

We come from very different worlds HSF.
But I see who you are.
Skoal.

Francis Marion
Francis Marion
February 14, 2023 9:50 am

25 years of marriage and my wife and I have NEVER celebrated Valentines day. So I put it out of my mind. This morning I come down stairs to my office and there is a Valentines card on my desk from her.

WTF!!!???

Guess I’m making dinner tonight…

Svarga Loka
Svarga Loka
  Francis Marion
February 14, 2023 10:06 am

LOL. So this morning my husband says to me over coffee: “Ugh, Happy Valentines day, I guess?” Me: “Hahaha. Not that we ever cared.” We both laughed, because we have never done anything for Valentine’s day. Then, our kids waltz out of their bedrooms, sleepy eyed, asking if they get candy today. Well played… but, NO.

Glock-N-Load
Glock-N-Load
  Svarga Loka
February 14, 2023 10:11 am

Not even raunchy segs?

Francis Marion
Francis Marion
  Administrator
February 14, 2023 10:48 am

If only…

ze bugs
ze bugs
  Francis Marion
February 14, 2023 10:55 am

It’s just an excuse to get a cupcake. Or nice piece of Jewelry. She probably saw something on QVC she wanted.

Two if by sea.
Two if by sea.
  Francis Marion
February 14, 2023 8:05 pm

I got my gal birdseed.

😇 Faithful. @ Last? Sorry!...
😇 Faithful. @ Last? Sorry!...
  Francis Marion
February 14, 2023 9:40 pm

..i could NOT help myself.

“This morning I come down stairs to my office and there is a Valentines card on my desk from her.

WTF!!!???”

B_MC
B_MC
February 14, 2023 9:51 am

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Suds
Suds
  B_MC
February 14, 2023 10:05 am

Well played, B…well played. 😆

Svarga Loka
Svarga Loka
February 14, 2023 10:02 am

“woman has complete mental breakdown..”

proving to him, without any doubt, that he made the right decision.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Svarga Loka
February 14, 2023 10:25 am

Thank you.

overthecliff
overthecliff
February 14, 2023 10:06 am

Eighth grade drama. I am making a ham sandwich.

Anonymous
Anonymous
February 14, 2023 10:20 am

Happy St. Hallmark’s Day. Another marketing strategy.

This is it, you bitch
I’ve got to make a switch

.
.
.

.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJG4jdXHitY

James
James
February 14, 2023 10:32 am

Sure,tis Valentines day but what really matters is……..,ten days till the release of “Cocaine Bear”!

I have cleared me calendar for the 24th and will be going to a matinee,will leave a review later in day for those that like me decide to for first time in decades to attend a movie in a theater,feel this is going to be a epic film!

brian
brian
  James
February 14, 2023 10:56 am

Its a psyop. The trailer is fake and what you’ll get is locked in once the movie starts. They’ll open with the trailer then the evil begins. It’ll switch to puppies and kittens playing with string and loop elevator musak. Don’t go… Survivors will be conscripted to fight the aliens that russia and china are using in the ukie 404. I have anon sources and they are the absolute top shelf sources, n.ever wrong mostly.

James
James
  brian
February 14, 2023 11:25 am

WTF?!

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I am a reasonably paranoid person given the times but you folks in leafland are losing it!

Abigail Adams
Abigail Adams
  brian
February 14, 2023 1:13 pm

brian might be crazy…but we need him here in the USA! (we need you too, James)

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Anonymous
Anonymous
February 14, 2023 10:58 am

When dealing with unpredictable livestock, always have several exit routes. This guy is gambling by having none. Now the livestock can kill him and he has no protection from injury or death.

On the other hand, he just saved himself from a life of total destruction.

This livestock just proved that most women has always been terminally mentally unstable and insane.

Odds are 100% of this outcome is her own fault. Keep acting stupid. Expect a stupid outcome when acting like a self-centered stupid bitch.

flash
flash
February 14, 2023 11:35 am

At least she still has her career….

Abigail Adams
Abigail Adams
  Administrator
February 14, 2023 1:16 pm

Fine, I know you want one too. I’m feeling generous today. Don’t say I never did anything nice for you.

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Guess Who
Guess Who
  Abigail Adams
February 15, 2023 10:20 am

“HVD Asshole?”

Poor Breeding, Manners, or lack of a good Fuck? On a nightly basis.

Which?

thetruthonly
thetruthonly
February 14, 2023 1:47 pm

It’s Valentines day, true story. When in San Francisco in my 3’rd grade class in 1963 it was Valentine’s Day and it was the custom little boys gave little girls Valentines. My mother insisted every girl get a Valentine and being a good little boy I mostly did so and tried to give one to a very quiet, very pretty Black girl who had a melt your heart smile named Alisha. Now Alisha had an inseparable insufferable pig-tailed sidekick named Loraine and despite the fact children are mostly cherubic and therefore attractive, Loraine seemed to me a short, ugly, mean, jealous sidekick who stood between us and proceeded to tell me I should stay with my own color people, to stay with my own kind. The civil rights movement was picking up steam and I told her that kind of thing was going away and anyway she couldn’t tell me that, only Alisha could tell me that. That now 60 year old memory was seared in my mind as I was shocked when even with that great smile her silence showed she took Loraine’s side and not my Valentine.

Perfect Stranger
Perfect Stranger
  thetruthonly
February 14, 2023 3:16 pm

That’s rough. It just shows us that things repeat, and times (along with people) really weren’t any better in the past.

Anonymous
Anonymous
February 14, 2023 1:48 pm

It’s all fun and games till they tell you to get out of the house you paid for lol.

fujigm
fujigm
  Anonymous
February 15, 2023 12:51 am

That’s when you take them crab fishin’.

Natalie Would
Natalie Would
  fujigm
February 15, 2023 6:52 am

“That’s when you take them crab fishin’”

Long Time Lurker
Long Time Lurker
February 14, 2023 2:13 pm
TonyLV
TonyLV
February 14, 2023 4:15 pm

Probably because her drama seems to be way over the top. Who could put up with that for long? No doubt she goaded him into the revel on the plane by ” …what is wrong, I know something is wrong. Why won’t you just tell me? “

James
James
February 14, 2023 5:31 pm

Fine,here is everyone’s Valentine.

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the real enemy
the real enemy
February 14, 2023 6:46 pm

Written by JB Campbell

09/10/2011

Killing Pat Tillman

Today is the seventh anniversary of Pat Tillman’s assassination in Afghanistan. On April 22, 2004 Tillman and several other Army Rangers were given an odd order to split their motorized squad and proceed toward a village called Magarah. The original mission was to recover a broken-down Humvee from a rocky and almost impassable trail through a steep gorge. The Humvee was being towed by a local “jinga” truck, rather than by one of the working Humvees. Tillman and the others got to the village before the guys with the towed Humvee and were waiting for them when three Afghan kids fired an RPG, with an effective range of 250 yards, from 800 yards. It hit on the wall of the gorge and made some noise and loosened up some dirt and rocks. But, no harm done. Nevertheless, the vaunted Rangers lost control of themselves and fired their arsenal of a .50 caliber Browning, 40mm grenade machine gun, .30 caliber machine guns and .223 caliber machine guns plus their small .223 rifles, called M-4s. They fired until they were out of ammo and had to get into their reserve ammo supply. Tillman and the other guys were watching this show from above. Tillman’s sergeant, Matthew Weeks, ordered him and Bryan O’Neal and an Afghan named Thani to go down on foot closer to the road, which they did. The lead Humvee came within view of Tillman and from a range of about one hundred feet, opened up on him and the two others, killing the Afghan and wounding Tillman after he waved his arms at them not to shoot. They dove behind a couple of one-foot high rocks and O’Neal asked if he was okay. One of Tillman’s legs was severely wounded. He threw a purple smoke grenade to show they were Americans and kept yelling at the nearby Humvee shooters. Both Tillman and O’Neal waved their arms at the Humvee. The Rangers in the Humvees stopped shooting for a minute. Tillman and O’Neal thought it was safe to show themselves.

Tillman identified himself loudly, saying “Hold your fire! I’m Pat f****** Tillman!” Specialist Trevor Alders opened up again with his .223 machine gun and hit Pat Tillman from about one hundred feet away. Now, both Tillman and O’Neal were in the same uniforms as the other Rangers, wearing the distinctive Kevlar helmets, carrying the same M-4 rifles. The Humvee guys knew that the other guys were up ahead and still they did this.

Here’s where it gets strange. The autopsy photos supposedly show three .223 holes in Tillman’s forehead, in a two- to three-inch group. I haven’t seen the photos. It is not possible to shoot a three-inch group into a guy’s forehead with a machine gun from one hundred feet, for several reasons. Number one, high-power rounds do not follow each other single file into the target; they veer off a little from the recoil of the one just before. Yes, once you get the gun settled down from the first few rounds, you can bring it to bear pretty closely but not that closely. A look at the rock next to Tillman’s position with about twenty hits on it shows the shotgun-like spread resulting from the weapons jumping around slightly. A hundred foot range allows a pretty good spread from any machine gun.

Number two, the Kevlar helmet covers the forehead and generally stops the .223 round. Number three, the guy drops from the first hit and you can’t follow him down to put the second and third rounds next to the first hole. Number four, a .223 round to the forehead doesn’t leave any forehead for the next two rounds to put holes in. The only way you can get a group of three .223 rifle bullets so tight is to kill the guy with the first shot and then shoot him again twice more when you get next to him. But three high-power holes in a tight little group? No way.

Now, the story has changed a little since the original lies were told. Now it’s said that the back of his head was missing, which would make sense after just one .223 hit him in the front, except for that helmet. Jack Kennedy was apparently hit with a .223 round from a Remington XP-100 and the back of his head was missing, too. But it’s come out that SPC O’Neal has said that all that was left of Tillman’s head was a flap of face-skin, which makes sense if three .223 rounds hit him in the head, so devastating is any high-power rifle round. Except for the helmet.

I didn’t know about the facial devastation until today. Like everyone else interested in this, I’d read that Tillman’s head looked pretty normal except for the three .223 bullet holes in his forehead, which meant only one thing: a low-power .22 pistol. The report that almost all of his head was gone indicates that he was not hit by Trevor Alders and his machine gun from a hundred feet but by someone else much closer with his M-4 carbine. The M-4 is just an M-16 with a short barrel and collapsible stock. The pathologist reported that the range of the shots was maybe five feet, which definitely makes it murder. How do you shoot holes in a guy’s forehead when he’s wearing a Kevlar helmet?

Stan Goff, a Ranger veteran writing for Counterpunch, assures us that Tillman was not assassinated but just killed by bad fire control, that the bizarre performance of the Rangers that day could not have been contrived to culminate in Tillman’s murder. He doesn’t explain how Pat f****** Tillman could be mistaken for a bad guy wearing what he was wearing, yelling and waving his arms, popping purple smoke in daylight, diving for cover behind a low rock, not shooting at anyone.

It didn’t have to happen that particular day. It just had to happen sometime when there were guns going off to make it “a mistake.” It was as good a day as any to kill Pat Tillman, because he had to be killed.

Tillman had naively made contact with the CIA’s Noam Chomsky to discuss his plans to reveal what he knew about the lies of Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld in the War on Terror. He was apparently also angry about the US Army’s support of the Afghan opium trade, started up by the army after the Taliban had eradicated it one hundred percent during their four-year reign. The US Army authorized the Northern Alliance to resume poppy production, according to Fox News shortly after we invaded Afghanistan.

The thing was, if you’ve forgotten, Pat Tillman had forsaken his multi-million dollar pro-football contract with the Arizona Cardinals to join his brother Kevin in the Army Rangers to hunt down the CIA’s Osama bin Laden directly after the attack on the World Trade Center in late 2001. Never mind that Osama had immediately denied any involvement in the massacre and had in addition pointed to the US government and the Mossad, the latter’s role now confirmed by the revelations of Dimitri Khalezov.

Pat Tillman was probably the greatest recruiting asset that the Neo-Cons had, until they sent him and Kevin from Afghanistan to Iraq in ‘03. Tillman became quite bitter and outspoken about the invasion of Iraq, figuring Saddam Hussein had nothing to do with 9/11. So they were sent back to Afghanistan, where they discovered the opium trade being protected and supported by the US Army. Now, they’re both pretty upset. Pat Tillman went from the Neo-Con dream to nightmare and needed to be shut up before he could tell America about the lies of its leaders.

Ironically, the Tillman brothers were part of the security detail of the joint services “rescue” of Jessica Lynch from an Iraqi hospital in April ’03. The Lynch saga was clumsy neo-con propaganda, a totally fictional tale of non-existent heroics and sexual assault following a vehicle accident. The truth was that Iraqi doctors had treated Lynch properly and well, saving her life, and repeatedly notifying the Americans of her location and condition, urging them to come get her. The rescue was as phony as the legend cooked up by the DC liars. Lynch did perform heroically when she revealed the lies that had been told about her. She’d been knocked unconscious in the accident and never shot or stabbed anyone nor pulled grenade pins with her teeth, etc., etc.

The death of Pat Tillman got the same heroic legend as Jessica Lynch got, with the first version being that he was shot by the Taliban while getting out of his Humvee. The second version, told to the family about the time of the funeral, was that he was shot while leading a charge up the hill toward the enemy. The third lie was that it was “friendly fire.” Friendly fire refers to the accidental killing of your own guys, which happens all the time, since weapons training regarding safety and fire control are virtually non-existent in the military. Such things have to be trained from childhood, over years.

Mary Tillman, Pat’s mother, wrote a good book about all this in 2008 in which she suggested that her son was deliberately murdered by his fellow Rangers, reserving most of her anger for General Stanley McChrystal, who led the lying coverup of the murder. Since then, she appears to have dropped the charge of assassination, for what reason is not clear. But there can be no doubt that the Rangers shot Pat Tillman deliberately and with malice on April 22, 2004. They shot and wounded him first and then waited while he popped purple smoke to let them know he was “friendly.” Then they started shooting again and didn’t stop until he was dead. The army gave him a Mafia funeral with the same Mafia sanctimony that Johnny Torrio sent to Dion O’Bannion’s funeral. The family only found out weeks later that it wasn’t enemy fire that killed Pat. It took a little longer to realize it wasn’t friendly fire, either.

Happy Valentines Day! Indeed
Happy Valentines Day! Indeed
February 14, 2023 9:12 pm

Been Hand-Making one for YEARS for The Boss…THAT will never change. (THIS Morn. ‘Reception’? Spectacular!)

Typically? Purty good about the card thingy, ESPECIALLY on this day’s auspicious occasion.

In addition to ‘Home-Made’, Historically? ‘Twas 3 – 4 days of…Woe is me!, Woe is me! The trials & tribulations. The wailing, & moaning. The Gnashing of teeth. Traveling hither & thither…in hot pursuit of the ‘Puuurfect’ card for my BABY!

💡 She is the Brains of the Operation.

This Year, We shopped together, jointly critique each others selection. Don’t even bother signing them anymore, we BOTH KNOW who/what the Other is.

Still. It’s Exciting to exchange them!

We both tear up a little. Shake hands, and then engage in a VERY passionate Kiss! 💏 LOTS of Tongue. Too.

Basically? A reenactment of our Wedding Vows.

Then? We put the cards back in the rack from whence they came. 1st year we did this…SURE she won’t blush when the other shoppers start clapping. Next Year.

Helped with the tip @ the Mexican joint.

bucknp
bucknp
February 14, 2023 10:47 pm