President Biden Arrives In Kyiv For His Performance Review

Via The Babylon Bee

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KYIV — Multiple insider sources reported a hushed nervousness was felt throughout President Joe Biden’s entire entourage today as he arrived in Kyiv, Ukraine for his annual performance review with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky.

“He’s really hoping this meeting goes well,” said one White House insider. “The President has been working really hard over the past year to do a good job for his superiors, and he’s wanting it to pay off for him in this performance review. His commitment to working for Ukraine — sending all the weapons, military equipment, and taxpayer dollars — really speaks for itself.”

President Biden seemed oblivious to the criticism his trip was receiving due to him flying to Kyiv rather than visiting the ecologically ravaged community of East Palestine, Ohio. “We understand there are people who are upset about the President not visiting East Palestine,” said White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre, “But we saw pictures of that nasty black cloud of smoke. Are you kidding?! The President can’t breathe that stuff! He’d be safer in a war zone, quite frankly.”

If the performance review goes well, it’s reported that President Biden is hoping it will result in a bump in his pay, with sources saying Biden wants a raise of at least “ten percent for the Big Guy.”

At publishing time, Biden was telling his advisors that once his meeting in Kyiv was finished, he wants Air Force One to fly to the Middle East since he’s been hearing something has been going on in “Eastern Palestine or something.”

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17 Comments
MrLiberty
MrLiberty
February 20, 2023 2:31 pm

Why does he have to fly there? Are they watching all the wire transfers now?

Aunt Acid
Aunt Acid
  MrLiberty
February 20, 2023 4:13 pm

gone to pick up the 10% and few other cough-cough souvenirs.

overthecliff
overthecliff
  Aunt Acid
February 20, 2023 7:57 pm

Sadly, young pretty women and cute little kids.

Klingon
Klingon
February 20, 2023 3:08 pm

Putin will give his remarks in a day or two. A last offer for peace talks perhaps ? Additional evidence of bio-labs and other crimes ? Then the criminal cabal NATO/swamp will do something stupid like a false flag event and its off to the races.

Remo
Remo
February 20, 2023 3:09 pm

That’s Joe Biden. The President is going to Ohio.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Remo
February 21, 2023 9:26 pm

Hell, joe can’t even spell Ohio.

FJB
FJB
February 20, 2023 3:44 pm

Putin is about to escalate the war so old joe had to go pick up his 10% before it was seized by Russia.

After all, it is so dangerous in Ukraine right now that photo ops out in the open streets is good.

Putin could have done us all a service today …..

WilliamtheResolute
WilliamtheResolute
February 20, 2023 4:05 pm

I guess Hunter would raise too many eyebrows…Brandon’s gotta be his own bag man.

Jdog
Jdog
February 20, 2023 4:59 pm

If you undeniable proof that NATO is losing the war, you simply need to look at their behavior in supplying arms and ammunition’s. All NATO members including the US have admitted that they have overextended themselves and are now low on both equipment and ammunition, and yet they are dipping deeper and deeper into their stockpiles to support Ukraine.

This behavior is often seen among losing gamblers and is referred to as “doubling down”.

Doubling down is never done when winning, it is a act of desperation employed when losing, in an irresponsible attempt to turn a loss into a gain.. If you want to know the truth, never listen to what they say, only watch what it is they do……

Billy the Kid
Billy the Kid
  Jdog
February 20, 2023 5:50 pm

Wonder if that was the plan all along, make it easier for Russia and China to finally hit the west or at least take what they want in near their own territory without morale criticism? Or maybe it’s a trap and they just got rid of all the old surplus stock so they could try to justify a need for more spending to TMIC ? Buying newer stock? They just can’t convince enough of us though and over played their hand while draining available weapons stock here in case of war and invasion.

Anonymous
Anonymous
February 20, 2023 6:39 pm

Our guy President Poopy Pants in the house. I’m so proud lol.

ICE-9
ICE-9
February 20, 2023 6:39 pm

This whole stinking pile of feces in Ukraine is about the Khazars (i.e., Ashkenazi Jews) settling their 1100 year old Talmudic blood feud with the Rus, which just so happens to dovetail with the London based Anglo-Zionist alliance of bankers and peers that survived the collapse of feudalism to become rentiers and their 175 year mission to not only destroy, but obliterate the last embers of Objectivity, Truth, and Ethical Life – i.e., the original German blueprint of the welfare-warfare state – and use Russia to accomplish the ruin of both Germany and themselves.

overthecliff
overthecliff
February 20, 2023 7:56 pm

Zelensky:
Joe, I won’t tell what I know if you keep the money coming my way.
Biden: Just keep sending my 10% and when Putin finally defeats you I will let you live if you keep your mouth shut. whispering Maybe.

Defector
Defector
February 20, 2023 10:13 pm

Joe was on his way to East Palestine.
AF1 was low on kerosene, so they landed halfway for a refill.
It just happened to be Kiyev.