Lightfoot Loss Blamed On Rampant Murderphobia

Babylon Bee

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CHICAGO, IL — Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot lost her bid for reelection this week in what Lightfoot and other critics are calling a blatant example of the rampant murderphobia that still exists among residents of the city.

“Murderphobia is still an unfortunate reality here in Chicago, and it is the reason I was not reelected as this city’s mayor,” said Lightfoot to reporters. “People were so busy being afraid of being shot in the face by gang members that they forgot about what an amazing mayor I was. Let me be clear: murderphobia is racist. Murderphobia is bigoted. Murderphobia is NOT ok. Full stop.”

Lightfoot has pledged to spend the next few years fighting against murderphobia in all its forms, as well as taxes-phobia, regulations-phobia, and stabbed-in-the-neck-by-a-homeless-guy-phobia.

“My unfair and tragic election loss because of bigotry is a sad day for Chicago,” Lightfoot continued as she dodged several stray bullets that whizzed over her head. “And all because of fear. So sad.”

At publishing time, Chicago’s new mayor had vowed to fight against Chicago’s policephobia.

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12 Comments
zappalives
zappalives
March 3, 2023 7:55 am

Mongoloid.

The Central Scrutinizer
The Central Scrutinizer
  zappalives
March 4, 2023 6:00 pm

Hemorrhoid.

Anonymous
Anonymous
March 3, 2023 9:21 am

Whoopi Goldberg: Republican Snowflakes Can’t Handle Drag Queens and Black People

Oh, and speaking of rejected Dem mayors of urban wastelands . . .

Dem Mayor Arrested on Child Porn was LGBTQ ‘Role Model’ Mentored by Pete Buttigieg

BabbleOn
BabbleOn
  Anonymous
March 3, 2023 10:04 am

Oh shit, First it was helping them read now it’s hands on mentoring????

Anonymous
Anonymous
  BabbleOn
March 3, 2023 10:21 am

Readin’ ritin’ ‘rithmetic, & rape.

WDS
WDS
March 3, 2023 9:30 am

Mayor Ackbar’s hairline is disappearing faster than Biden when asked a question
by a reporter.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  WDS
March 3, 2023 9:54 am

High testosterone. She may actually have a big dick.

Bijou
Bijou
March 3, 2023 11:59 am

Murderphobia??? This low IQ moron is delusional and should be committed to a mental institution before she can do any more damage to the great city of Chicago.

WilliamtheResolute
WilliamtheResolute
March 3, 2023 1:33 pm

Someone play the Chicago Mayoral Anthem…”The Changing of the Bagman.”

Anonymous
Anonymous
March 3, 2023 2:41 pm

Murderphobia is young blacks killing young blacks. It was Lightfoot’s policy. She can’t change that with lies

Jackie Puppet
Jackie Puppet
March 3, 2023 6:12 pm

“Larry” actually did blame racism for her loss, even though another radical black guy is in the runoff.

She also confirmed the belief that once black s win an office, it belongs to them in perpetuity.