WASHINGTON, D.C. — The White House is claiming that illegal immigration is now down over 90% thanks to them redefining what illegal immigration is.
“The President’s policy of making up fake words, definitions, and stats has had a real, positive impact at the border,” said black gay Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre. “Since reality itself bends to the will of whoever has the power to define it, we have been able to decrease illegal immigration drastically. We just decided that. With our words. Hooray for us!”
Experts were unsure how the numbers show a decrease in illegal immigration since unlawful border crossings are at record levels, amounting to an unprecedented humanitarian disaster. The experts quickly changed their minds, however, when they realized that the definition of “illegal immigration” had been changed by the Biden Administration. “This is genius!” said one expert.
At publishing time, the administration had also announced a record 100% approval rating after redefining the meaning of the word “approve.”
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Just like the housing crisis in Canada is being caused by government bureaucrats holding back home builders, and not the 1 million plus immigrants the government keeps letting in every year.
It’s both.
jan was a cute little thing,wasn’t she?
That’s Marsha. smh.
i never think straight when a little hottie is giving Me Alone that come & get me smile —
What you say? The government doesn’t solve problems, it causes them? Somebody notify the citizens! (sarc)
This Bee headline is not satire. The shithead Biden sent his lying shithead Press Secretary out to declare they have reduced illegal immigration 90%. She then gave reporters questioning this a load of gaslit shit, accusing one of being disingenuous for questioning them.
A couple of redundancies.
I didn’t feel like listing several hundred vulgar and hateful adjectives which would more accurately express my disdain for these lying, evil, traitorous shitheads.
We have arrived at the end of the Internet. The BEE is no longer satire. This is literally what happened.
y’all have probably heard about this guy down in texas–he had been deported multiple x over the years but kept coming back–when he was asked to quit target shooting by a neighbor he got pissed & went over & killed 5 people –
closer to home,a 59 yo guy in a neighboring county who was moonlighting as an uber eats driver went up to a house to make a delivery & was dragged inside,robbed,killed & dismembered —
the culprit?an ms-13 member who had just gotten out of prison in indiana –why wasn’t he deported?
https://dailycaller.com/2023/05/01/man-accused-of-murdering-five-execution-style-was-previously-deported-illegal-immigrant-ice-says/?utm_source=piano&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=breaking&pnespid=q6BlE39eaf8V2uvPuC6wS5mBvUmvWpdzNPa.0LJ4pQ9mBCq.p7q7L.pMT3t697a7JSoWN73U
Imagine what it’s like at the Bee; creating this satirical view of reality, and then that view actually becoming reality.
It is a damn shame for Biden that KP wasn’t disabled too.
She’s black, ain’t she?
Black lipstick lesbian immigrant. She checks the MINIMUM number of Prog boxes.
That’s how she hit the big-time.
Stupid move politically before the election season. Why not announce illegal immigration is down 150% as so many illegals are now returning home? KJP would be no worse at telling that lie than the whopper she currently told!
There ARE NO “stupid moves” when the outcome is predetermined.
You REALLY need to catch up.
Mexican word of the day: CASH
“I sneek eento USA but senor Mayorkas no bother to cash mee
Sort of like the way folks went from having to take an ‘experimental gene therapy’ to having to take a ‘vaccine’ … and it only required the FDA to change the definition of a ‘vaccine’ 3 times — twice in September, 2021, alone …
It’s a shame that KP wasn’t disabled too…. She’d have carte blanche then when it came to gaslighting…
“White House Announces Inflation Has Decreased 90 Percent Since They Redefined It”.
Niggerdy Lesbo be living the diversity dream.
Like so many of these ‘dreams’ — they’re a nightmare for the rest of US …